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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)17:25:24 No.66312748 >walk into the gym with my giant head phones on >Clubbed to death blasting through the speaker >Front desk chick: h-hello... H-have a nice workout... 85 KB JPG >Nod mysteriously (you too) >About face >Walk through the halls of treadmills >People's gaping and mystified expressions thrown back in their faces through the reflection of my sun glasses >Make my way to the corner smith machine >Gaze upon my kingdom This is why I lift : Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:06:42 No.66313216 K
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)17:25:24 No.66312748 >walk into the gym with my giant head phones on >Clubbed to death blasting through the speaker >Front desk chick: h-hello... H-have a nice workout... 85 KB JPG >Nod mysteriously (you too) >About face >Walk through the halls of treadmills >People's gaping and mystified expressions thrown back in their faces through the reflection of my sun glasses >Make my way to the corner smith machine >Gaze upon my kingdom This is why I lift : Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)18:06:42 No.66313216 K

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)00:20:51 No.876162864 >Be me >live in Mexico at the time >see a white guy and his asian friend in the middle of town looking really confused at their phone 33 KB JPG >decided to troll them >walk up to them and say Do you have your papers? >look at me confused and say We have passports what papers? >give them a confused look and say i work for the centro i just need to check proof of visa >give me their papers >look at the peice of paper and pretend to look scared shitless >flip the paper quickly while muttering things in Spanish >whisper under my breath No no la cartel >they look really nervous >look up from the papers and say A-are you living in an air bnb? >quickly spout Yes is that a problem? >give them back their papers and say Im so sorry >run away like hell >hear them in the distance say WAIT PLEASE HELP US >trolling successful >stay out of my county amerifags
: Anonymous 04/13/22(Wed)00:20:51 No.876162864 >Be me >live in Mexico at the time >see a white guy and his asian friend in the middle of town looking really confused at their phone 33 KB JPG >decided to troll them >walk up to them and say Do you have your papers? >look at me confused and say We have passports what papers? >give them a confused look and say i work for the centro i just need to check proof of visa >give me their papers >look at the peice of paper and pretend to look scared shitless >flip the paper quickly while muttering things in Spanish >whisper under my breath No no la cartel >they look really nervous >look up from the papers and say A-are you living in an air bnb? >quickly spout Yes is that a problem? >give them back their papers and say Im so sorry >run away like hell >hear them in the distance say WAIT PLEASE HELP US >trolling successful >stay out of my county amerifags

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Anon makes a good point | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)13:48:22 No.777399245 Convince me the Egyptians weren't ancient 4chan >Loved cats >Used cryptic pictures to communicate >Hated the Jews 72 KB JPG >Lived in a desert s------- >Obsessed with triangles and symmetry because ancient autismo >Were smart as f--- >Had a woman that ruled them that people orbit to this day >Literally had a frog God called kek All the evidence is here you just have to understand it
: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)13:48:22 No.777399245 Convince me the Egyptians weren't ancient 4chan >Loved cats >Used cryptic pictures to communicate >Hated the Jews 72 KB JPG >Lived in a desert s------- >Obsessed with triangles and symmetry because ancient autismo >Were smart as f--- >Had a woman that ruled them that people orbit to this day >Literally had a frog God called kek All the evidence is here you just have to understand it

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Joa Rogan saves a good boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)21:40:37 No.62729154 >be at the store >see some vegetarian tendies on sale >meh might as well try them heard they taste the same >go home and open the package >suddenly the window breaks as a 100 KB PNG m----- rolls in >its Joe f------ Rogan >"no vegan b------- eat wild game like a man" >he takes out a bow and shots my cat >jumps me the moment i start to hesitate >jiujitsu grapples me and almost chokes me to death >i instinctively grasp for air >notice a bong in my mouth >"dimethyltryptamine will help you see the light" >get blasted into a dimension more real than this one >filled with Joe Rogans preaching and doing standup
: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)21:40:37 No.62729154 >be at the store >see some vegetarian tendies on sale >meh might as well try them heard they taste the same >go home and open the package >suddenly the window breaks as a 100 KB PNG m----- rolls in >its Joe f------ Rogan >"no vegan b------- eat wild game like a man" >he takes out a bow and shots my cat >jumps me the moment i start to hesitate >jiujitsu grapples me and almost chokes me to death >i instinctively grasp for air >notice a bong in my mouth >"dimethyltryptamine will help you see the light" >get blasted into a dimension more real than this one >filled with Joe Rogans preaching and doing standup

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suspicious circumstances | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)20:39:33 No.155481485 file.png 1.04 MB PNG >peter Parker turns evil >suddenly says "shalom" when answering the phone Unironically for real no bullshitting actual question legitimately what the absolute f--- did Raimi mean by this?
: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)20:39:33 No.155481485 file.png 1.04 MB PNG >peter Parker turns evil >suddenly says "shalom" when answering the phone Unironically for real no bullshitting actual question legitimately what the absolute f--- did Raimi mean by this?

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Anon wants a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)14:15:51 No.68142381 >be me, 22 >talk to 19yo girl >we hit it off >eventually sex comes up as a topic of conversation >ask her body count 1.37 MB JPG >says 5 >immediately lose all interest I guess i'll just die alone
: Anonymous 04/09/22(Sat)14:15:51 No.68142381 >be me, 22 >talk to 19yo girl >we hit it off >eventually sex comes up as a topic of conversation >ask her body count 1.37 MB JPG >says 5 >immediately lose all interest I guess i'll just die alone

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Anon is definitely gonna get murder | /r/Greentext


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Anon was saved | /r/Greentext


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anon isn't a degenerate | /r/Greentext

File: Katie Pladl.jpg (153 KB, 630x630) O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)14:36:39 No.876137528 [Reply] >>876145919 >>876145996 >Your 18 year old daughter says she wants to have sex with you How do you react? + 66 replies and 10 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:36:02 No.876145919 >> Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:37:01 No.876145940 ► * O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:38:44 No.876145996 File: 1590885680018.jpg (105 KB, 1080x919) >>876137528 (OP). I would be concerned about how I raised her and would try to see if there is a bigger underlying problem spurring it on. Also, you people are disgusting. Do you really think you could f--- your own daughter, especially if you actually love your wife?
File: Katie Pladl.jpg (153 KB, 630x630) O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)14:36:39 No.876137528 [Reply] >>876145919 >>876145996 >Your 18 year old daughter says she wants to have sex with you How do you react? + 66 replies and 10 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:36:02 No.876145919 >> Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:37:01 No.876145940 ► * O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)19:38:44 No.876145996 File: 1590885680018.jpg (105 KB, 1080x919) >>876137528 (OP). I would be concerned about how I raised her and would try to see if there is a bigger underlying problem spurring it on. Also, you people are disgusting. Do you really think you could f--- your own daughter, especially if you actually love your wife?

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Me when the when | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you
: Anonymous Heart pains 05/22/21(Sat)13:25:00 No.63782206 >go to bed >you have a gripping pain in your chest >it spreads to the left side of your neck >can't sleep 17 KB JPG Guys am I gonna have a frickin heart attack? I made a thread about this yesterday and a medanon told me it's all good if it's not in my neck. Well it is. I don't even drink or smoke REE : Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)15:07:38 No.63783066 >might have a heart attack >better post on 4chan I hope it kills you

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Silly Billie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)08:29:12 No.166441453 >>166439336 (OP) # I worked on the set of Billie Eilish's music video Bury A Friend shot back in November 2018. I can tell you that Billie is a verified retarded person. >She loudly farts and burps in front of everyone and although I didn't ask anyone l'm fairly certain she was wearing adult diapers >her assistant led her around the set by holding her hand and when we said something to her the assistant would translate it to her with different words and by pointing at things >Billie wanted a Capri Sun so I sat one in front of her and she stared at it for nearly an hour until I put the straw in it and then she sucked down the entire thing in one gulp >I had to place 10 Animal Crackers on a paper towel for her and as soon as she finished eating them she would look at me like a puppy and I had to place exactly 10 more Animal Crackers on her paper towel >she would stare at an IPad with a big smile on her face between shots and when looked over her shoulder I saw she was watching Paw Patrol >she definitely has Turrettes that makes her twitch and contort her face and speaks of herself in third person, ie. "Billie wants to sleep" or "Billie need drink"
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)08:29:12 No.166441453 >>166439336 (OP) # I worked on the set of Billie Eilish's music video Bury A Friend shot back in November 2018. I can tell you that Billie is a verified retarded person. >She loudly farts and burps in front of everyone and although I didn't ask anyone l'm fairly certain she was wearing adult diapers >her assistant led her around the set by holding her hand and when we said something to her the assistant would translate it to her with different words and by pointing at things >Billie wanted a Capri Sun so I sat one in front of her and she stared at it for nearly an hour until I put the straw in it and then she sucked down the entire thing in one gulp >I had to place 10 Animal Crackers on a paper towel for her and as soon as she finished eating them she would look at me like a puppy and I had to place exactly 10 more Animal Crackers on her paper towel >she would stare at an IPad with a big smile on her face between shots and when looked over her shoulder I saw she was watching Paw Patrol >she definitely has Turrettes that makes her twitch and contort her face and speaks of herself in third person, ie. "Billie wants to sleep" or "Billie need drink"

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anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49206462 Vor 4 Std. •.. after a hard workout I go home and sit in front of a space-heater and pretend it's a Dark Souls bonfire extra: >i also bring a thermos mug full of warm water and chug it between sets pretending it's an Estus Flask 92,3 kB JPG like this is probably actual autism but i mean i hit 2/3/4/5 so f--- what anybody says kek 5 REPLIES
Anonymous | 49206462 Vor 4 Std. •.. after a hard workout I go home and sit in front of a space-heater and pretend it's a Dark Souls bonfire extra: >i also bring a thermos mug full of warm water and chug it between sets pretending it's an Estus Flask 92,3 kB JPG like this is probably actual autism but i mean i hit 2/3/4/5 so f--- what anybody says kek 5 REPLIES

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Anon lives in a dystopian future | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Do we even exist 04/11/22(Mon)22:31:41 No.68175473 Please help me: >be me >finish CompSci degree >move to small apartment in another city >Covid happens, get laid off after only 1 32 KB PNG year >find new job, 100% remote >every day, my boss gives out tasks and bugs on the Microsoft scrum board, I solve them, repeat >Get paid really after taxes, and spend less than $850 on rent, water and electricity. ally well. I make like $3800 >never seen my boss or my colleagues in real life. They don't turn on cameras during the few meetings we have >order most stuff through delivery services cause it's cheaper. They place the big box in front of the door, ring the bell and go away >haven't called or spoken to my parents, they didn't want me anyway and didn't reach out themselves... >just get tasks, solve them, wait until my shift is over then sit around until I fall asleep and do nothing because everything is dull >don't have interest in movies/video games anymore, numb >haven't left my apartment for over 2 years >haven't spoken to another person in 2 years >don't have friends lost contact to the few people I knew from college >l'm basically alone in my apartment complex. I haven't heard a neighbor for like 3 months or so >don't have a partner >total savings are $70000 in cash/stocks but no idea what to use it for
: Anonymous Do we even exist 04/11/22(Mon)22:31:41 No.68175473 Please help me: >be me >finish CompSci degree >move to small apartment in another city >Covid happens, get laid off after only 1 32 KB PNG year >find new job, 100% remote >every day, my boss gives out tasks and bugs on the Microsoft scrum board, I solve them, repeat >Get paid really after taxes, and spend less than $850 on rent, water and electricity. ally well. I make like $3800 >never seen my boss or my colleagues in real life. They don't turn on cameras during the few meetings we have >order most stuff through delivery services cause it's cheaper. They place the big box in front of the door, ring the bell and go away >haven't called or spoken to my parents, they didn't want me anyway and didn't reach out themselves... >just get tasks, solve them, wait until my shift is over then sit around until I fall asleep and do nothing because everything is dull >don't have interest in movies/video games anymore, numb >haven't left my apartment for over 2 years >haven't spoken to another person in 2 years >don't have friends lost contact to the few people I knew from college >l'm basically alone in my apartment complex. I haven't heard a neighbor for like 3 months or so >don't have a partner >total savings are $70000 in cash/stocks but no idea what to use it for

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Anon has plans | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)08:36:25 No.876119412 ► >876119645 File: f81.png (162 KB, 680x717) >talking with coworkers >somehow topic of conversation shifts to money >mention that I have about a few thousand dollars in my savings account (separate from retirement account) >coworkers agree that it's smart to have a rainy day fund >MFW it's actually in case I want to kill myself, I can buy some nice whiskey and eat at a fancy restaurant first
O Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)08:36:25 No.876119412 ► >876119645 File: f81.png (162 KB, 680x717) >talking with coworkers >somehow topic of conversation shifts to money >mention that I have about a few thousand dollars in my savings account (separate from retirement account) >coworkers agree that it's smart to have a rainy day fund >MFW it's actually in case I want to kill myself, I can buy some nice whiskey and eat at a fancy restaurant first

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Anon gets trapped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/19(Sat)01:14:12 No.793369438 I think I've f----- up boys >be me >have really cool gf >we're into all the same stuff >the works, vidya, superheroes, and green text >she shows me a green text she 55 KB JPG made >mfw I realize girls don't use 4chan >mfw I realize she's a trap >mfw I'm gay now
: Anonymous 02/23/19(Sat)01:14:12 No.793369438 I think I've f----- up boys >be me >have really cool gf >we're into all the same stuff >the works, vidya, superheroes, and green text >she shows me a green text she 55 KB JPG made >mfw I realize girls don't use 4chan >mfw I realize she's a trap >mfw I'm gay now

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Anon doesn't want to see any shrimp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)10:30:27 No.876141399 >Be me >work on a boat >new mate gets aboard >obviously gay has the feminine accent and flamboyant attitude >eating In the galley >he comes in 200 KB JPG >f--- >he starts talking to me about work and the boat >oknotatotalfaggot.jpeg >I complain that it gets kind of hot because my room is right above the engines >"Just keep your door open I always keep mine open for airflow... and visitors" >does the gayest little giggle after >he leaves with a little strut and perverted grin >what the f--- >Locked my door from then on till he got off
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)10:30:27 No.876141399 >Be me >work on a boat >new mate gets aboard >obviously gay has the feminine accent and flamboyant attitude >eating In the galley >he comes in 200 KB JPG >f--- >he starts talking to me about work and the boat >oknotatotalfaggot.jpeg >I complain that it gets kind of hot because my room is right above the engines >"Just keep your door open I always keep mine open for airflow... and visitors" >does the gayest little giggle after >he leaves with a little strut and perverted grin >what the f--- >Locked my door from then on till he got off

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Anon is a loyal customer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)14:37:12 No.15685527 >>15684060 # >be alcoholic >move to new town >first thought is to scout liquor stores and compare prices >halfway through realize how bad 411 KB GIF this is >keep doing it >cheapest prices are also closest to me >they have a points system for in store bonus' >blessing and a curse >go every other day for 3 weeks >I catch the same worker every time without fail >walk in one day >worker looks at me >punches in my points number without asking me what it is bros.....
: Anonymous 03/02/21(Tue)14:37:12 No.15685527 >>15684060 # >be alcoholic >move to new town >first thought is to scout liquor stores and compare prices >halfway through realize how bad 411 KB GIF this is >keep doing it >cheapest prices are also closest to me >they have a points system for in store bonus' >blessing and a curse >go every other day for 3 weeks >I catch the same worker every time without fail >walk in one day >worker looks at me >punches in my points number without asking me what it is bros.....

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Anon has a condor | /r/Greentext

File: cutiewithtits jpg (47 KB, 600x800) Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:06 No.629176850 have you guys ever fuckd a gril without a condor? >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 15:59 No 629176965 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16: 18 No. 629177001 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 16.40 No. 629177042 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 17:30 No 629177130 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 17:53 No. 629177179 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:50 No 629177305 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:51 No 629177306 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 19:46 No. 629177428 Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:31 No.629177751 O Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:45 No.629177787 • >629178184 >>629178506 >>629178609 File: 1434306256997 gif (258 KB, 301x301) >making out with slut i brought from a nearby bar >gonna f--- this bitch >look to my condor for approval >he s---- on her bag and pecks her outta the room. >later find out she had harpies from friend thank you condor. dodged a f------ bullet
File: cutiewithtits jpg (47 KB, 600x800) Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:15:06 No.629176850 have you guys ever fuckd a gril without a condor? >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 15:59 No 629176965 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:16: 18 No. 629177001 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 16.40 No. 629177042 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 17:30 No 629177130 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 17:53 No. 629177179 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:50 No 629177305 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 18:51 No 629177306 >> Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12: 19:46 No. 629177428 Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:31 No.629177751 O Anonymous 07/20/15(Mon)12:22:45 No.629177787 • >629178184 >>629178506 >>629178609 File: 1434306256997 gif (258 KB, 301x301) >making out with slut i brought from a nearby bar >gonna f--- this bitch >look to my condor for approval >he s---- on her bag and pecks her outta the room. >later find out she had harpies from friend thank you condor. dodged a f------ bullet

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Anon is unsure | /r/Greentext

I'm Jewish and black - where do I fit in? agepocolo.jpg 34 KB JPG Well? : Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)02:16:10 No.874296279 >>874294028 (OP) # back of the oven.
I'm Jewish and black - where do I fit in? agepocolo.jpg 34 KB JPG Well? : Anonymous 03/13/22(Sun)02:16:10 No.874296279 >>874294028 (OP) # back of the oven.

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Anon can't pick up on social cues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)10:24:48 No.876141240 >be me >get facetime call >say "whats up" >"not much" >ask what she wanted to talk about >"nothing" >she gets mad when i hang up? 7 KB JPG why are women like this
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)10:24:48 No.876141240 >be me >get facetime call >say "whats up" >"not much" >ask what she wanted to talk about >"nothing" >she gets mad when i hang up? 7 KB JPG why are women like this

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