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@bvdhai thread

миша @bvdha. . Aug 19 I am about to tell you an epic tale about subterfuge, dating in the 21st century and the fall of human civilization. This actually happened to me and it could happen to you too. Get some popcorn. *Thread* миша @bvdhai-Aug 19 So a few weeks ago I was on the Tinder machine shopping my soul around and I match with a very attractive young lady. No bio. Fairly innocuous. 922 t329 4.2 миша @bvdha. . Aug 19 I message her some random s--- and we chat for an hour or so and she says here's my number text me" I'm like okay sure thing миша @bvdha. . Aug 19 I text her n we make small talk abt work for a bit then she goes, "actually, I have this huge presentation Im workin on for my job, would you be offended if I got back to you in like a week or two when Ive got more free time? Youre cute and I want to meet you Im just too busy rn" 94 tl 23 3.2

миша @bvdha. . Aug 19 I am about to tell you an epic tale about subterfuge, dating in the 21st century and the fall of human civilization. This actually happened to me and it could happen to you too. Get some popcorn. *Thread* миша @bvdhai-Aug 19 So a few weeks ago I was on the Tinder machine shopping my soul around and I match with a very attractive young lady. No bio. Fairly innocuous. 922 t329 4.2 миша @bvdha. . Aug 19 I message her some random s--- and we chat for an hour or so and she says here's my number text me" I'm like okay sure thing миша @bvdha. . Aug 19 I text her n we make small talk abt work for a bit then she goes, "actually, I have this huge presentation Im workin on for my job, would you be offended if I got back to you in like a week or two when Ive got more free time? Youre cute and I want to meet you Im just too busy rn" 94 tl 23 3.2

@bvdhai twitter thread

Gentle Lover

, o Cody Arachnid at Under houses usually less than a mile away Did you know the tailless whip scorpion is an incredibly gentle lover? The male caresses the female, holds her hand, and then doesn't even penetrate. That's right baby, no d--- pics here. I'll just lay a spermatophore and bring you to it when you're ready. No pressure here. * Top Spo EDIT INFO

, o Cody Arachnid at Under houses usually less than a mile away Did you know the tailless whip scorpion is an incredibly gentle lover? The male caresses the female, holds her hand, and then doesn't even penetrate. That's right baby, no d--- pics here. I'll just lay a spermatophore and bring you to it when you're ready. No pressure here. * Top Spo EDIT INFO

tailless whip scorpion fake profile

His name is John

John, 28 human job at human work human school 9 14 miles away Im an active human that enjoys human things like drinking water My Anthem

John, 28 human job at human work human school 9 14 miles away Im an active human that enjoys human things like drinking water My Anthem

Work your strengths, joke about your weaknesses

Jennifer, 19 Frances Kelsey O 31 kilometers away Hi I'm Jennifer, I suck at riding horses so l ride d---

Jennifer, 19 Frances Kelsey O 31 kilometers away Hi I'm Jennifer, I suck at riding horses so l ride d---

rodeo can't ride horses that'll do

Andrew is my spirit animal

Andrew, 24 O 27 miles away I always keep a loaded gun on my nightstand in the event of an intruder, so I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people.

Andrew, 24 O 27 miles away I always keep a loaded gun on my nightstand in the event of an intruder, so I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people.

tinder tinder profile memes gun intruder

Tinder just makes me feel bad

@multiquartz inder CN It has no functional purpose tinde it just makes me feel bad

@multiquartz inder CN It has no functional purpose tinde it just makes me feel bad

tinder peridot no purpose feel bad steven universe useless

Do you think I'm Miranda Cosgrove?

o Verizon 17:46 @イ57%■ Eli YOU MATCHED WITH ELI ON 2/20/16 R u the one on the right or the left in the first pic? Sent Feb 21, 2016, 12:49 are u asking if I am Miranda cosgrove Eli, 19 University of Mississippi Ole Miss 1 mile away

o Verizon 17:46 @イ57%■ Eli YOU MATCHED WITH ELI ON 2/20/16 R u the one on the right or the left in the first pic? Sent Feb 21, 2016, 12:49 are u asking if I am Miranda cosgrove Eli, 19 University of Mississippi Ole Miss 1 mile away

Winning at Tinder

Lauren, 21 arms dealer 6 miles away hands down the best catch on tinder face 10/10 body 9/10 personality 20/10 arms 1/2

Lauren, 21 arms dealer 6 miles away hands down the best catch on tinder face 10/10 body 9/10 personality 20/10 arms 1/2

arms jokes funny girl

Like - Super Like - Nope

LIKE Super Like LIKE NOPE

LIKE Super Like LIKE NOPE

tinder handsome creep

Ruthless Murder

AT&T M-Cell 11:33 PM 4 Caroline YOU MATCHED WITH CAROLINE ON 8/1/17 I'm not sure what to say other than that I'm intrigued by your aspiration to become a dilf. Tell me a joke, your best one Wanna hear a joke about paper?? It's probably gonna be tearable You're just too good I'm witty and relatable Quote of the day What did the zero say to the eight? I'm not sure what to say other than that I'm intrigued by your aspiration to become a dilf. Sent GiF Type a Message.. Send GIF

AT&T M-Cell 11:33 PM 4 Caroline YOU MATCHED WITH CAROLINE ON 8/1/17 I'm not sure what to say other than that I'm intrigued by your aspiration to become a dilf. Tell me a joke, your best one Wanna hear a joke about paper?? It's probably gonna be tearable You're just too good I'm witty and relatable Quote of the day What did the zero say to the eight? I'm not sure what to say other than that I'm intrigued by your aspiration to become a dilf. Sent GiF Type a Message.. Send GIF

text owned pwned

Self-aware dark humor Tinder profile.

0 Lauren, 21 arms dealer 6 miles away hands down the best catch on tinder face 10/10 body 9/10 personality 20/10 arms 1/2

0 Lauren, 21 arms dealer 6 miles away hands down the best catch on tinder face 10/10 body 9/10 personality 20/10 arms 1/2

tinder profile amputee arm arms dealer pun lauren

Tinder Doggo.

Doggo, 26 26 miles away If you're into bad boys swipe left because I am a good boy

Doggo, 26 26 miles away If you're into bad boys swipe left because I am a good boy

dog dogs animals tinder profile good boy

Jewasaurus, 21

oo Virgin 8:58 PM Done Jewasaurus, 21 50 miles away Active 2 hours ago About Jewasaurus I am the mighty Jewasaurus Rex. Check out my ripped Jewasaurus pecs. If you're lucky we might have Jewasaurus sex. Ass is what Jewasaurus wrecks. Shared Interests (7)

oo Virgin 8:58 PM Done Jewasaurus, 21 50 miles away Active 2 hours ago About Jewasaurus I am the mighty Jewasaurus Rex. Check out my ripped Jewasaurus pecs. If you're lucky we might have Jewasaurus sex. Ass is what Jewasaurus wrecks. Shared Interests (7)

tyrannosaurus jew rhyme

That's true, tho

Bacon

iPod 8:38 PM Bacon Aug 2, 2014, 6:24 PM Preheat your oven cause I'm going in raw Message Send

iPod 8:38 PM Bacon Aug 2, 2014, 6:24 PM Preheat your oven cause I'm going in raw Message Send

bacon oven raw pickup line

Shitting on yourself

I will s--- on everything you love You'll be s------- on yourseltf That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me psyducked: I found love at 4am

I will s--- on everything you love You'll be s------- on yourseltf That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me psyducked: I found love at 4am

I Love You Are Hat

I love your hat! you're May 17, 2015, 4:28 PM I love you are hat! Message Send

I love your hat! you're May 17, 2015, 4:28 PM I love you are hat! Message Send

Super Likes by Tinder

introducing SUPER LIKE presented by tinder

introducing SUPER LIKE presented by tinder

super likes swipe up tinder dating apps

Tinder Master 2000; This is how people meat.

tinder meat smartphone idiotic swipe

i'm hard all the time

oo AT&T 8:18 PM 78% Done Brick, 21 11 miles away Active 1 hour ago Moments I'm hard all the time

oo AT&T 8:18 PM 78% Done Brick, 21 11 miles away Active 1 hour ago Moments I'm hard all the time