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micksmars vodka-for-mckagan Source: babeobaggins BILLY RAY PLEASE COME GET YOUR CHILD 4,929 notes larsy-ulrich JOIN DEERE comin for miley #im so done with myself #billy ray cyrus #miley cyrus #why am i tagging this 2 notes

micksmars vodka-for-mckagan Source: babeobaggins BILLY RAY PLEASE COME GET YOUR CHILD 4,929 notes larsy-ulrich JOIN DEERE comin for miley #im so done with myself #billy ray cyrus #miley cyrus #why am i tagging this 2 notes

88th does m----------- count as exercise if so then yes i'm very athletic when i was in high school we had to do exercise logs for gym credits in order to graduate and one kid in my school wrote that he masturbated 5 hours a week every single week and he got the credits because as long as his mom signed off on it it was considered valid exercise he graduated high school for masturbating Source: 88th

88th does m----------- count as exercise if so then yes i'm very athletic when i was in high school we had to do exercise logs for gym credits in order to graduate and one kid in my school wrote that he masturbated 5 hours a week every single week and he got the credits because as long as his mom signed off on it it was considered valid exercise he graduated high school for masturbating Source: 88th

exercizing high school

Why is it that wet hair is darker, if water is colorless? takentoglasoow la-hire-ships-it lokistimetravelingassbutt tomatomouthkisser sodamnrelatable STTER why hasn't the scientific side of tumblr responded to this yet guys we are waiting here When your hair soaks up water, the overall density of your hair increases. This increase in density causes your hair fibers to be arranged more tightly, which allows less light to shine through your hair fibers thank you shine bright like less dense hair fibers

Why is it that wet hair is darker, if water is colorless? takentoglasoow la-hire-ships-it lokistimetravelingassbutt tomatomouthkisser sodamnrelatable STTER why hasn't the scientific side of tumblr responded to this yet guys we are waiting here When your hair soaks up water, the overall density of your hair increases. This increase in density causes your hair fibers to be arranged more tightly, which allows less light to shine through your hair fibers thank you shine bright like less dense hair fibers

psyducked: dickdickdickdickdickdickdick d---: those password journals were so funny and useless like what kind of secrets do u have to keep when youre 9 "i made my bratz dolls kiss today"??2? I first discovered m----------- when I was 9 and I didn't know what to do with the c-- so l'd wipe it on my little sister's door and tell my parents she was picking her nose but only my password journal knew the truth

psyducked: dickdickdickdickdickdickdick d---: those password journals were so funny and useless like what kind of secrets do u have to keep when youre 9 "i made my bratz dolls kiss today"??2? I first discovered m----------- when I was 9 and I didn't know what to do with the c-- so l'd wipe it on my little sister's door and tell my parents she was picking her nose but only my password journal knew the truth

password journal confession semen nose fancy truth disturbing

214) A lesson I learned in the hospital....when vou masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. doctorcanon: cmcross No, you don't understand. This actually happens. We got a 16 year old boy on our unit once, because Pediatrics was full, and it's about 1 in the morning and al the nurses are at the nurses station having a break and we're all talking and having a laugh and then all of a sudden this kids heart monitor just goes CRAZY So we call the code and I grab the crash cart and about 6 of us just take off running down the hall and we bust in the room and this kid is just sitting there with his hand around his junk looking MORTIFIED. So we just sot of backed out of the room quietly, walked calmly to the stairwell, and had a total and complete hysterical breakdown It was the funniest s--- ever. Omigod so many nurses have told me stories like these

214) A lesson I learned in the hospital....when vou masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. doctorcanon: cmcross No, you don't understand. This actually happens. We got a 16 year old boy on our unit once, because Pediatrics was full, and it's about 1 in the morning and al the nurses are at the nurses station having a break and we're all talking and having a laugh and then all of a sudden this kids heart monitor just goes CRAZY So we call the code and I grab the crash cart and about 6 of us just take off running down the hall and we bust in the room and this kid is just sitting there with his hand around his junk looking MORTIFIED. So we just sot of backed out of the room quietly, walked calmly to the stairwell, and had a total and complete hysterical breakdown It was the funniest s--- ever. Omigod so many nurses have told me stories like these

meladoodle: last christmas we bought a fake christmas tree and the guy behind the counter said to my dad 'are you going to put it up yourself?' and my dad said 'dont be disgusting... im going to put it in the living room

meladoodle: last christmas we bought a fake christmas tree and the guy behind the counter said to my dad 'are you going to put it up yourself?' and my dad said 'dont be disgusting... im going to put it in the living room

smackintyre: yourcrushmessagedyou changkyus: the problem with being a procrastinator and a perlectionist at the same time is that you want amazing grades but are too lazy to do your work this post is too honest to exist The mentality becomes "I'm not going to get this perfect anyway, so l might as well just start it later."

smackintyre: yourcrushmessagedyou changkyus: the problem with being a procrastinator and a perlectionist at the same time is that you want amazing grades but are too lazy to do your work this post is too honest to exist The mentality becomes "I'm not going to get this perfect anyway, so l might as well just start it later."

40minutes ago my dad didn't want to pay the $60 to have them bring a lawn mower to our house, so he's driving it home. Literally like halfway across town. And he didn't even know how to start it when he left the store. lag

40minutes ago my dad didn't want to pay the $60 to have them bring a lawn mower to our house, so he's driving it home. Literally like halfway across town. And he didn't even know how to start it when he left the store. lag

autotune-jesus: keep-calm-and-nouis-on: | Just another day at the dildo factory. Jobs that you forget actually exist. why cant i stop laughing who the f--- wakes up and says "y'know what, i wanna work at a dildo factory

factory dildo jobs

josh-fallstar: Am I the only one that knows the stereotypical heart shape was meant to be two hearts fused together? OH MY GOD THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE cuz the weird fake heart shape is about love, it's about TWO HEARTS COMING TOGETHER guys.

josh-fallstar: Am I the only one that knows the stereotypical heart shape was meant to be two hearts fused together? OH MY GOD THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE cuz the weird fake heart shape is about love, it's about TWO HEARTS COMING TOGETHER guys.

,,-. Sprint 10:11 PM @イ0 72% E囫 Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win win situation It's like being dead without the commitment. an open relationship with death death with benefits 219,171 notes

,,-. Sprint 10:11 PM @イ0 72% E囫 Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win win situation It's like being dead without the commitment. an open relationship with death death with benefits 219,171 notes

In physics the other day my teacher started having this coughing fit so he says ‘I THINK SATAN IS CHOKING ME' and I just went 'Sorry' and he stopped coughing omg I think everyone in my class is terrified now i am still laughing at this from like twenty minutes ago

In physics the other day my teacher started having this coughing fit so he says ‘I THINK SATAN IS CHOKING ME' and I just went 'Sorry' and he stopped coughing omg I think everyone in my class is terrified now i am still laughing at this from like twenty minutes ago

physics satan choking sorry teacher

Plot Twist he na It's 2058. Dreamworks Animations has released many sequels of old movies, new movies, and have planned many more, but nearly all of them have been box office failures. The studio realizes they're going bankrupt and decide to make one last movie. The story of the fishing boy on the crescent moon. DREAMWORKS ANIMATION SKG this is the movie that will break everyone....

Plot Twist he na It's 2058. Dreamworks Animations has released many sequels of old movies, new movies, and have planned many more, but nearly all of them have been box office failures. The studio realizes they're going bankrupt and decide to make one last movie. The story of the fishing boy on the crescent moon. DREAMWORKS ANIMATION SKG this is the movie that will break everyone....

dreamworks animation fishing crescent moon movie

rollinginthepeep pachurz san HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SHAVED RABBIT Put a hat on it and ask it to bust myths. THAT COMMENT H--------

rollinginthepeep pachurz san HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SHAVED RABBIT Put a hat on it and ask it to bust myths. THAT COMMENT H--------

donate-to-the-dik-diks 13,595 tsarcasm: trapsical: I took a s--- in my grandma's cat's litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her. this story was wild from start to finish Source: trapsical

donate-to-the-dik-diks 13,595 tsarcasm: trapsical: I took a s--- in my grandma's cat's litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her. this story was wild from start to finish Source: trapsical

unclefather: unclefather at my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal that i am not inside. instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the background. nevermind, my mom says i can't do that.

unclefather: unclefather at my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal that i am not inside. instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the background. nevermind, my mom says i can't do that.

Source didyouknowblo did you know? Hogwarts does not accept foreigners but serves only Britain and Ireland did-you-kno.tumblr.com malkiewicz this is a fictional place hey look I found the muggie 1,241 notes

Source didyouknowblo did you know? Hogwarts does not accept foreigners but serves only Britain and Ireland did-you-kno.tumblr.com malkiewicz this is a fictional place hey look I found the muggie 1,241 notes

feliciadayismypatronus: My cousin left her baby carrier thing at our house so my dad's friend tried it on and tHEN PUT MY DOG IN IT AND HE JUST LOOKS SO CONTENT

feliciadayismypatronus: My cousin left her baby carrier thing at our house so my dad's friend tried it on and tHEN PUT MY DOG IN IT AND HE JUST LOOKS SO CONTENT

Shadow in a Bikini

blueexorcist fagsindubai white girls are so creative how do you even know she's white it's a f------ shadow because only a white person would do this

blueexorcist fagsindubai white girls are so creative how do you even know she's white it's a f------ shadow because only a white person would do this

shadow shade shorts bikini white people white girls white creativity

pantryraids dlubes pantryraids is spelt spelled spelt or spelled spelt is spelled spelt in any nation that isn't america but in america spelt isn't spelled spelt it's spelled spelled thank you so much 116,900 notes *け

pantryraids dlubes pantryraids is spelt spelled spelt or spelled spelt is spelled spelt in any nation that isn't america but in america spelt isn't spelled spelt it's spelled spelled thank you so much 116,900 notes *け