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Hard Load

"Sure, I'd gone in-horse bePore, but I'd never Mounted First, my neurals were phase-shifted and sideloaded horsewise. Now our combined consciousness, known as a C.E.N.T.A.U.R.I., was ready to fill the 'roid The only thing left to do was enter VR - and f--- the Zyorg. a STUD-Class Equuoid." I, uh... Wow. I already have a lot oP questions. 0u 0 NR らgk 72 www.Pehny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahutik & Jerry Holkins
"Sure, I'd gone in-horse bePore, but I'd never Mounted First, my neurals were phase-shifted and sideloaded horsewise. Now our combined consciousness, known as a C.E.N.T.A.U.R.I., was ready to fill the 'roid The only thing left to do was enter VR - and f--- the Zyorg. a STUD-Class Equuoid." I, uh... Wow. I already have a lot oP questions. 0u 0 NR らgk 72 www.Pehny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahutik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
man horse centaur vr zyorg

The Neil Armstrong Of Horse Fucking

Man, just read my book. I don't have time Por this. IPI can't upload My consciousness into the ready Meat oP a sex-crazed centaur by 2021, there'll be blood in the streets. There is a MotherPucker Making thousands op dollars a Month selling virtual drugs to SiMs. I jost want to take a Moment to appreciabe the thoroughly Gibsonian character oP today's World Why a centaur? HARD □ BRAHE WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
Man, just read my book. I don't have time Por this. IPI can't upload My consciousness into the ready Meat oP a sex-crazed centaur by 2021, there'll be blood in the streets. There is a MotherPucker Making thousands op dollars a Month selling virtual drugs to SiMs. I jost want to take a Moment to appreciabe the thoroughly Gibsonian character oP today's World Why a centaur? HARD □ BRAHE WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
centaur sims drugs sex

Legacy

When I was a kid, and My duMb parents were Making Me throw balls and S---, I swore I'd never Porce my own kids down that path. Now, that eSports are a thing, .I completely get it! My children are extensions oP Me and I will claim their victories as My OWn Are they, like... good at games? And I haven't. Spots CSpor They will be, once I take the out op SChool and bathe theM in oPp-label StiMolants PorS www.Penny-Arcade.com 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
When I was a kid, and My duMb parents were Making Me throw balls and S---, I swore I'd never Porce my own kids down that path. Now, that eSports are a thing, .I completely get it! My children are extensions oP Me and I will claim their victories as My OWn Are they, like... good at games? And I haven't. Spots CSpor They will be, once I take the out op SChool and bathe theM in oPp-label StiMolants PorS www.Penny-Arcade.com 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
father kids sports esports

Quality Time

Do you see that Ship over there? Really? It's like, two guys. Okay, get ready. When I ram them, I want you and your brother to jump over there and kill 'em both. Yeah. Load the cannons They're just dancing and playing Mosic on the deck. Dad! It's not called "Sea oP Friends." WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
Do you see that Ship over there? Really? It's like, two guys. Okay, get ready. When I ram them, I want you and your brother to jump over there and kill 'em both. Yeah. Load the cannons They're just dancing and playing Mosic on the deck. Dad! It's not called "Sea oP Friends." WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
sea cannon friend ship

Posers

Introducing WyrMwood Player Gurrogates. We at WyrMwood are known Por our handcrapted, heirlooM-quality accessories Por the discriMinating gaMing connoisseur. MotherPucking backed. Long apber huMan players would have wandered away, our patient wooden "Priends" - in Peruvian Walnut, Zebrawood, or Spalted Tamarind will We've been able to perPect every aspect oP tabletop gaming, exceptStill be listening to Whatever you want one Until now to say about Manticores Por however long you want to say it. click WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
Introducing WyrMwood Player Gurrogates. We at WyrMwood are known Por our handcrapted, heirlooM-quality accessories Por the discriMinating gaMing connoisseur. MotherPucking backed. Long apber huMan players would have wandered away, our patient wooden "Priends" - in Peruvian Walnut, Zebrawood, or Spalted Tamarind will We've been able to perPect every aspect oP tabletop gaming, exceptStill be listening to Whatever you want one Until now to say about Manticores Por however long you want to say it. click WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
tabletop games kickstarter backer

Half-Life

T'il tell you what it is. You're aI don't think that's it. Maybe I I want to start playing Overwatch on the PC. The pro Pharah players never touch the ground it MUst be easier to Peather the jets with the MOUSe. Porty year old Man. Four hundred years ago, you'd already be dead. The pros are twenty years old and goosed on Adderall ontil they reach a shamanic, precognitive State. should buy one oP the keyboards they advertise between matches. No. What you need is the Razer "TiMe Machine." What else could it be? WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
T'il tell you what it is. You're aI don't think that's it. Maybe I I want to start playing Overwatch on the PC. The pro Pharah players never touch the ground it MUst be easier to Peather the jets with the MOUSe. Porty year old Man. Four hundred years ago, you'd already be dead. The pros are twenty years old and goosed on Adderall ontil they reach a shamanic, precognitive State. should buy one oP the keyboards they advertise between matches. No. What you need is the Razer "TiMe Machine." What else could it be? WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
overwatch pc adderall keyboard

The Dumbest Timeline

Look, I have to be super honest with you guys. I don't really know iP shocking a deac rat is iwMoral. I deeply resent the conversation we're having right now Okay. Now. Is it possible... What's poppin', Logang? I'M back on YouTobe, and I learned My lesson. That's why I'm gonna electrocute some aniMals I Pound. Oh, here we go. ..that this was soMe youthPul, Misguided atbempt at dePibrillation? Logan Paof is the sort oP creature an evil Wizard would Make out oP S---, and I hate hiM. www.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
Look, I have to be super honest with you guys. I don't really know iP shocking a deac rat is iwMoral. I deeply resent the conversation we're having right now Okay. Now. Is it possible... What's poppin', Logang? I'M back on YouTobe, and I learned My lesson. That's why I'm gonna electrocute some aniMals I Pound. Oh, here we go. ..that this was soMe youthPul, Misguided atbempt at dePibrillation? Logan Paof is the sort oP creature an evil Wizard would Make out oP S---, and I hate hiM. www.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
logan paul youtube rat

The Neon Corridor

Hey, Pucker! I got Aaero, just like you told Me to, and it's a nightMmare! IMpossible? That's an odd prononciation op "trivial." don't? It's like i s0meone said, "Rez is cool, but What iP yoU had to play another, iMpossible game at the same time." Don't you just natorally perceive MUSic as a glowing, linear band projecting Porever in an inPinite cylinder? See, that's your problem right there Www.Penny-Arcade.cOM © 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
Hey, Pucker! I got Aaero, just like you told Me to, and it's a nightMmare! IMpossible? That's an odd prononciation op "trivial." don't? It's like i s0meone said, "Rez is cool, but What iP yoU had to play another, iMpossible game at the same time." Don't you just natorally perceive MUSic as a glowing, linear band projecting Porever in an inPinite cylinder? See, that's your problem right there Www.Penny-Arcade.cOM © 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
the neon corridor

Camaraderie

Now I'M Pucking dead I'M Pucking dead, Mercy! What the Puck, Mercy?! Mercy's just Pucking around in the spawn Yeah, sorry. I'M trying to Pigure out how to Mote you. room! You piece oP S---! What are yoU doing?! This is COMPETITIVE! I just... I gotta Make it so you It seeMS like you play this a lot More than Me. Do I Mote you in Social? aren't real anymore. There's, like, a ton oP menus WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins
Now I'M Pucking dead I'M Pucking dead, Mercy! What the Puck, Mercy?! Mercy's just Pucking around in the spawn Yeah, sorry. I'M trying to Pigure out how to Mote you. room! You piece oP S---! What are yoU doing?! This is COMPETITIVE! I just... I gotta Make it so you It seeMS like you play this a lot More than Me. Do I Mote you in Social? aren't real anymore. There's, like, a ton oP menus WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
camaraderie

Chromamancy

r You're Pollowing Dallas Fuelm this seaSon, bot... how did you arrive at that? APter a lot oP consideration, Fuel had the best colors. Well, I started by looking over all the teaMs. Really looking at theM Have "good colors" been a good indicator oP prowess thus Par? Well, when their players are allowed to play, they lose. so, no. WwW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins
r You're Pollowing Dallas Fuelm this seaSon, bot... how did you arrive at that? APter a lot oP consideration, Fuel had the best colors. Well, I started by looking over all the teaMs. Really looking at theM Have "good colors" been a good indicator oP prowess thus Par? Well, when their players are allowed to play, they lose. so, no. WwW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
chromamancy

Beaks And Geeks

I got a parrot to ease My Sea oP Thieves Withdrawals, and... You need to stop teaching him S---. There is a ghost here. Hrak! What? Did you... I didn't even know... yoU got a... What did you call it7 Hey, look. I'M just Pinding out about this parrot right now. I was once a Man like you. WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
I got a parrot to ease My Sea oP Thieves Withdrawals, and... You need to stop teaching him S---. There is a ghost here. Hrak! What? Did you... I didn't even know... yoU got a... What did you call it7 Hey, look. I'M just Pinding out about this parrot right now. I was once a Man like you. WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
beaks and geeks

The Real Monsters

Latest updates, everybody, on the Invaders? They can stab you, and then Shoot you With the sword, because it's als0 a gun. Yeah. It's a gun too, Por soMe reason. When I retorn, it will be in the coMpany oP our new, beakless coMrades. 90, you know. Keep an eye out Por that. Let Me speak to theM. I will bring our Law Stone, and its civilizing inPlvence will hatch the Priendship-egg WwW.Penny-Arcade.cOM © 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
Latest updates, everybody, on the Invaders? They can stab you, and then Shoot you With the sword, because it's als0 a gun. Yeah. It's a gun too, Por soMe reason. When I retorn, it will be in the coMpany oP our new, beakless coMrades. 90, you know. Keep an eye out Por that. Let Me speak to theM. I will bring our Law Stone, and its civilizing inPlvence will hatch the Priendship-egg WwW.Penny-Arcade.cOM © 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
penny arcade kulu-ya-ku monster hunter: world

Brave New World

That's not true. We spent Porby-Pive Minutes trying to play together! Monster Hunter World is by Par the MoSt huMane, approachable Monster Hunter yet. Someone at Capcom thoUght Por several consecutive Seconds about the Pact that a huMan being Might want to engage with the product at soMe point. Sure, but in any other Monster Hunter it would have been three hours and one oP us Would be dead. It's a bold new dlirection. It's trulj a everyone Monster Honter Por. WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins
That's not true. We spent Porby-Pive Minutes trying to play together! Monster Hunter World is by Par the MoSt huMane, approachable Monster Hunter yet. Someone at Capcom thoUght Por several consecutive Seconds about the Pact that a huMan being Might want to engage with the product at soMe point. Sure, but in any other Monster Hunter it would have been three hours and one oP us Would be dead. It's a bold new dlirection. It's trulj a everyone Monster Honter Por. WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
brave new world

Division Of Labor

I don't see how I can . possibly do all that. I think physics is gonna This is a two Man sloop. I've got the helM that's a boat word, you stupid piece op s---. Everything Sounds like a lot. be real barrier. HM. Sounds an awpul lot like Mutiny. That Means you've got everything else. No, it's just rigging, bailing, patching, navigating, cannons, and crow's nesting. Which is another boat word. Also gonna need you to play the accordion a little bit, Maybe dance when I'M Peeling low WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
I don't see how I can . possibly do all that. I think physics is gonna This is a two Man sloop. I've got the helM that's a boat word, you stupid piece op s---. Everything Sounds like a lot. be real barrier. HM. Sounds an awpul lot like Mutiny. That Means you've got everything else. No, it's just rigging, bailing, patching, navigating, cannons, and crow's nesting. Which is another boat word. Also gonna need you to play the accordion a little bit, Maybe dance when I'M Peeling low WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
division of labor

Tubethumping

We've got a huge problem with our biggest partners S------- in the pool and abusing the platPorM God.. Is there soMe token gesture that will allow us to keep Milking these aMoral pslychopaths and the attention oP Children while also harMing people who had nothing to do With it? No, actually that Sounds good. Advertisers are getting Skittish. Let's just do that. www.penny-Arcade.coㅆ 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
We've got a huge problem with our biggest partners S------- in the pool and abusing the platPorM God.. Is there soMe token gesture that will allow us to keep Milking these aMoral pslychopaths and the attention oP Children while also harMing people who had nothing to do With it? No, actually that Sounds good. Advertisers are getting Skittish. Let's just do that. www.penny-Arcade.coㅆ 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
tubethumping youtube adpocalypse

Paragone

Due to the seisMic response to Fortnite Battle Royale, we're pulling resources ProM other titles and Piguring out What "next steps" are Por Paragon. We don't know iP Paragon should just - go in the regular Garbage, or iP it needs to go in the Recycle Bin? Maybe it's Yard Waste. We don't wanna get in trouble. JesUs. How's the coMMunity response on the Paragon side? I think there's, like, a Pine. Oh, he's pretty upset WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins
Due to the seisMic response to Fortnite Battle Royale, we're pulling resources ProM other titles and Piguring out What "next steps" are Por Paragon. We don't know iP Paragon should just - go in the regular Garbage, or iP it needs to go in the Recycle Bin? Maybe it's Yard Waste. We don't wanna get in trouble. JesUs. How's the coMMunity response on the Paragon side? I think there's, like, a Pine. Oh, he's pretty upset WWW.Penny-Arcade.cOM 2018 Mike krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
fortnight battle royale community responce paragon

Dark Magics

Let Me get this straight. How exacbly do you want Me to Peel about that7 S0, now we need to go kill Evil JiM? Well.. I thinki technically, you're Evil JiM. You colluded With our Dungeon Master behind My back, Months ago, to create a Magical clone oP My character without My knowledge with the intention oP killing Me and starting over with the Appreciative...? clone? Correct WwW.Penny-Arcade.cOM © 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
Let Me get this straight. How exacbly do you want Me to Peel about that7 S0, now we need to go kill Evil JiM? Well.. I thinki technically, you're Evil JiM. You colluded With our Dungeon Master behind My back, Months ago, to create a Magical clone oP My character without My knowledge with the intention oP killing Me and starting over with the Appreciative...? clone? Correct WwW.Penny-Arcade.cOM © 2018 Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
dark magics

NFL DLC

it's no secret that we're losing Marketshare to the youngs on the Twitcher. IP the NFL is going to Pend oPP the Overwatch League, we need to change the Meta Starting next season, Quarterbacks will be granted Pire spellS. And Wide receivers Will be iMbued With liMited Plight What? That's insane. Hey, now. Take it easy He Said it was liMited. www.penny-arcade.coㅆ 2018Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
it's no secret that we're losing Marketshare to the youngs on the Twitcher. IP the NFL is going to Pend oPP the Overwatch League, we need to change the Meta Starting next season, Quarterbacks will be granted Pire spellS. And Wide receivers Will be iMbued With liMited Plight What? That's insane. Hey, now. Take it easy He Said it was liMited. www.penny-arcade.coㅆ 2018Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
nfl dlc

Owls

How in the hell does Seattle not have a team in the Overwatch League? You can't throw a rock in this ciby without hitting a nerd. Oh My God. He's dead. He's Puching dead. Breath oP the Wild Shirt. And look at the blood pooling around that Nintendo sWitch I'm just saying, I was right. I Mean, watch this. Okay, yeah. But. Look! www.penny-arcade.coㅆ O 2018Mike rahulik&Jerry Holkins
How in the hell does Seattle not have a team in the Overwatch League? You can't throw a rock in this ciby without hitting a nerd. Oh My God. He's dead. He's Puching dead. Breath oP the Wild Shirt. And look at the blood pooling around that Nintendo sWitch I'm just saying, I was right. I Mean, watch this. Okay, yeah. But. Look! www.penny-arcade.coㅆ O 2018Mike rahulik&Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
owls

Win Condition

A hundred siblings return to their sprawling childhood home. Now Paladins is doing a Battle Royale thing? IM trying to Pigure out iP that Means it's over now, or iP it's just beginning. It's not jost Paladine. Even Gone Home is getting into this s---. The Pirst one to realize they're gay Wins What? How. What? www.penny-arcade.coㅆ 2O18Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins
A hundred siblings return to their sprawling childhood home. Now Paladins is doing a Battle Royale thing? IM trying to Pigure out iP that Means it's over now, or iP it's just beginning. It's not jost Paladine. Even Gone Home is getting into this s---. The Pirst one to realize they're gay Wins What? How. What? www.penny-arcade.coㅆ 2O18Mike Krahulik & Jerry Holkins

Penny Arcade
win condition