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So I went on a date with this rich guy last night and took my 6 year old daughter Kayla with me cos I didn't have a babysitter and he had the nerve to act shocked that she's there. Out of nowhere Kayla goes "HEY MAN if you wanna date momma then we come as a package deal. So I DEMAND you buy her the finest steak, a bottle of their best wine and pay for us to get home or you won't see her again" The table of girls woop wooped Kayla on and I swear he turned to the waiter and ordered 3 of the finest steaks for his "future wifey and step-daughter" and the tables around us cheered for all 3 of us

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K Post Arielle Scarcella @Arielle Scarcell My best friends 12 year old son had asked me what political party I was a part of. I said "Republican." He said "omg me too. Republicans are lit. They like lower taxes and less govt power." Maybe kids are waking up! 11:43 PM - 9/20/23 from Earth. 15K Views . 25 Reposts 5 Quotes 471 Likes 3 Bookmarks

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I thought my bf was cheating so I grabbed the left over long hairs that were "mine" on his bed and took them to a lab to see if they belonged to another girl. When I got results back they told me all these hairs belonged to three other girls that had been murdered and they had to report it to the police. That day I found out my bf wasn't only a cheater but a psycho. 1,8M 5405

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adership EQ Speaker Best Selling Author Cons... 3d. Keynote I just called a candidate to let her know that I still didn't have an update for her. Then I got this: "Hi Brigette, I'd like to thank you again for the call. This means a lot to me. In my experience, most companies would never have cared to provide any feedback. I just want to say you are by far the most professional and pleasant HR partner I have ever encountered in my career, which also speaks volume on the reflection of your values." Call. It only takes seconds out of your day, but will mean everything to them.

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That Happened
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Ayo ain't u going on a date with that girl from algebra Tomorrow? Bro.. look what she posted on her private snap SOS will someone have a fake bday dinner w me tomorrow night so i can get out of going on a date? thx. yeah why Delivered

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Speaker | Top 20 Business Podca... 3h. POV: You're a single working mom getting your son ready for school at 6:30 AM. Son: "Mom, can you write on my shoes?" Mom: "What? Hurry up, we're gonna be late." Son: *holding up a Sharpie and his basketball sneakers* Mom: "What am I writing?" Son: "I want you to write 'You can do all things' on the bottom of my shoe... Mom, no matter how good you are and no matter how talented you are, every once in a while, you need to remind yourself. When you're in a tough spot, you have to remember who you are. You can't feel confident every minute of every day." This was an actual convo with me and my son Dylan. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How brilliant was this? I wrote out the phrase for him on his shoe and I just couldn't get over what had happened: My son had taught me the importance of reminders (That's why you always see me saying Today's Reminder:) Here's my top tips on using reminders: Place them EVERYWHERE - on your iPhone, your computer your mirrors even hide them throughout

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I saw my ex's family last night. His parents hugged me and said "I'm sorry for any pain our son has caused you. He's a dumb. You are the best thing that ever walked into his life. When he realizes it, it's gonna be too late." Woah no one said this to you

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Travis follows Breezy' @OvOBrezzzy Told my 2 year old son imma take him to see his fav rapper drake he said "Dad don't spend $1000 for me you should invest it into stocks instead and grow your wealth" tears came out of my eyes 6:58 PM 8/31/23 from Earth 5.1M Views 1,109 Reposts 411 Quotes Subscribe 20.8K Likes 375 Bookmarks 27

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8:15 .4G Tonight, I was with my son and went to the drive- thru at Mc Donald's, ordering my son some food + an ice cream cone. As I handed the cone to my son, I took a bite off the top. The guy working the drive-thru chuckled and I responded: "tax". Write a comment... The worker then went back, made a McFlurry, that we didn't order, and handed it to me and said "for mama." Not only did that make my day, but it made my son's day too! My son said, "I love that!! That guy deserves a raise!" We think that worker is a boy who loves his mom and recognizes other mamas too. Shared with permission ... GIF (Ⓒ)

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Shay Sade @shaysade_ NAHHH I lost my phone over 8 months ago and had no idea what happened to it, it literally vanished. Today I book an Uber and my Uber driver goes "hold on I have something for you" and hands me my lost phone. He said he held onto it in case by chance he picked me up again 07:01 4/30/21. Twitter for iPhone 6,055 Retweets 1,068 Quote Tweets 78.5K Likes

That Happened
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So, this really happened the other day... Me at Wal Mart XBox Section. Rando: you play? Me: uh yea Rando: what game? Me: ESO Rando: No way what's your gamertag? *i close my eyes in hesitation* Mattheus? Rando: The MATTHEUS?! E Me: am i the only one? Ive seen others. Rando: ex el mattheus el ex? Me: no, those are eyes not els Rando: BET! so youre the Imperial guy that no one can kill?! Me: ive been killed many times Rando: well f--- i cant kill you, it takes an entire army! Me: whats your gamertag? Me: whats your gamertag? Rando: i cant give that out my dad told me not to. Me: understood Rando: so you're the Actual Imperial... *i cut him off* yes, The Mattheus lacomus Emericus, Count of Cheydinhal, Lord of House Emericus, Former Legate of the 15th and retired from the 1st, former Potens Justice & Militum of The Imperial Republic, Protector of Cyrodiil, and Praetor to the Emperor and the Chains of the Empire.. *Randos face lights up with almost tears in his eyes* Bruh! I Hate you in PvP so much, can i like have your autograph tho?! I actually gave him my gamnertag autograph so yea

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LIVE - Following For You Q I asked him what he wanted to accomplish in "Kindergarten" and he said he wanted to learn how to successfully transplant a variety of native plants without them dying, and also get really good at chess. So, that's what we're doing. This is homeschooling. 46.6K ... 2356 2109

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5d My son is deaf and I am hearing. When standing on a line in a grocery store, my son and I will having a conversation (in sign language). The lady behind me didnt know I was hearing and she said to the man with her. Oh what a waste, they are deaf. I quickly turned around and gave her my unfiltered opinion on her remark. Lets just say she left her shopping cart and walked out. The store employees applauded me. 497 likes Reply

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Follow Cynfully I was telling my 7 yo daughter a story about her brother when he was little and she said "I was just a ghost soul then trying to find you. I'm glad I did." I cried and reached for her hand. she patted and pushed it away, "there there. pull yourself together" sweet and savage 11:13 AM 08 Sep 23 5,557 Views 11 Reposts 1 Quote 271 Likes

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don't bore us @DontBoreUs My high school had such a large population of emos that when My Chemical Romance broke up they announced it via the PA and offered extra counselling that day

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So proud of my youngest! She was in line for lunch at school today, it was French toast sticks and sausage. The boy in front of her said No to the sausage and she called him a communist She's in kindergarten #proudparent Like 5 people like this. Comment Share Stitch It

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deanprincesster-deactivated2017 professor is 6 mins late to first class ayyyy deanprincesster so ten minutes after class was supposed to start someone throws a book at the whiteboard and everyone goes silent as this guy in a baseball cap leaps over his desk to the front of the room and says "I guess we can start class now. we're gonna start by talking about my favorite subject: me" my professor is a really young dude and disguised himself as a student

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LIVE GINS KIP FURE REARE Following For You Repost > me leaving the book aisle after two girls were laughing at "how tired I looked" "how ratty my outfit was" and "how it was silly that I was filming" THE PERFECT MAR MARRIAGE for I want to say thank you to @ your amazing employee that we... more ♫ Cardigan by Taylor swift edited ver... 1.5M 22.5K 49.5K 6082

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Comment on "When Karens Mess With The Wrong People.." @tm8747. 2 weeks ago the donut drive thru, i had a problem with a karen running her mouth and telling everyone to shut up. as she got of her car and left her car running, i simple walked over to her car and placed it in drive, and the car did the rest!, it drove across a street and hit the curb across the road and stopped, in my time i got my order and so did everyone else, in line, the police rolled up, the donut shop told what happen and they arrested her FOR LEAVING A RUNNING CAR IN A DRIVE THRU. THE DONUT SHOP OWNER TOLD ON A LATER DAY, THAT THE COPS WANTED TO SHAKE MY HAND FOR WHAT I DID STUPID IS STUPID. 目 2 2 ⠀

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