Hawk Tuah Girl Haliey Welch Has Released An AI-powered Dating App Called Pookie Tools

There comes a time in the life of a "meme journalist" when you read the sentence "Haliey Welch the Hawk Tuah Girl has released an AI-powered dating advice app called 'Pookie Tools,'" understand every word of it and then stare listlessly out the window for the rest of the day.

For us, that day was Thursday, when media outlets reported that Welch had released Pookie, the dating advice app named after her boyfriend's nickname.

Pookie Tools, named after the guy who one assumes is the one getting Hawk Tuah'd on, sounds like a functional dating advice app that actually has little to do with Welch's budding empire aside from the name.

It gives AI-generated chat suggestions, offers advice on how to improve one's dating profile and has some more whimsical features like "height verification" and a zodiac compatibility check. There is also a "Pookie Meter," which grades the flirtatiousness of messages on a scale of 1 to 100.

"This app is the easiest way for [singles] to find their forever Pookie,” Welch told TechCrunch. The website also tested the app and found that most of the responses generated by "Pookie" are generic on the level of ChatGPT. They also found that the app's height and baldness checkers weren't particularly accurate.

Reviews of the app on the app store are mixed and almost all facetious. One recent five-star review states:

The first thing I tried was the Height Detector, and it was right on the money! I would expect nothing less from Mrs. Hailey Hawk Tuah, who I assume was the lead app designer. Next, I tried the Date Ideas feature, and it smartly suggested a “picnic under the stars” for my thirteenth date on the moon.

A more negative review says:

I came across this app that was apparently made by the hawk Tuah girl and had my expectations up since she knew how to spit on that thang and I wanted someone to spit on my thang so I downloaded the app. After scrolling for hours I still couldn’t find someone my age. I went to my wife to complain about it (rookie mistake) and she started yelling at me about how this was cheating and how she couldn’t believe I would abandon her and our children. I told her how I felt about her not Hawk Tuing my boinker but she wouldn’t listen even though I was explaining to her how she was being the problem. We’re getting divorced this Sunday.

If you're curious to check it out for yourself, Pookie Tools can be purchased at a $7 per week subscription rate or $50 a year.