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JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
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$"In TeRnAtiOnAL StYLe❞ "Wannabe architecture critic on the internet" starter pack His vocabulary is made of the words "beautiful" and "ugly" His theory: Architecture was beautiful and or- namented, till evil modernism came and ruined it Lamenting over "Form follows Function" Calls "modernist" anything built in the past 100 years (Architecture has moved on from modernism since around the 70s) Gets his theories from a minority of neo-trad knights "Traditional architecture was ornamented!" (Cue Puebloan mud buildings and whitewashed Greek island houses) اد "This is soulless and in- humane! Architects only care about money and function nowadays!" "Arrogant waste of taxpayers' money! Bet this curved facade is so hard to clean! Architecture should be functional!" "Wow! What an amazing building made with slave labor! It should be preserved forever and ever!" (Thinks this is where the average person lived back then) Claims to be a dropout architecture student who eviscerated himself by trying to enforce his pro-traditional theories on his professors "Architects are useless!" "The emperor has no clothes!" (Feeling smart and poetic) Parrots Christopher Alexander's theories about classical architec- ture resembling organic forms Thinks "classical", "vernacular" and "traditional" are synonymous terms (spoiler alert: they're not) If you show him this museum in Dresden, he writes his angry comment then probably passes out "Architecture schools are nothing but modernist brainwashing!" "Modernism has been ENFORCED upon people!" "why doN'T WE BUILD IIKE THIS anYMORE?" Possibly conservative European or American with a very stereotypical view of European cities "Studies have shown that people want traditional" "The facade matters the most cause thousands of people see it for 2 seconds every day as they pass by!" Adolf Loos's "Ornament and Crime" is like the Holocaust for him Deconstructivist theory: "There is no perfect in architecture. We can do whatever we want with it as long as it comes out interesting." "Pretentious gibberish!" New Classicist theory: "Humans are magically predisposed to like the 6 Greco-Roman orders. Columns and capitals (somewhat) look like fractals and (somehow) resemble natural forms. That's all we should do forever. Trust me, I'm the real expert." "Ugh! Architects are so arrogant!" Without a single degree, they built us roads that have lasted an eternity. FACEREALITY and then, the engineers arrived! "gOIDen Ratlo!" "Wow! So based!" Compares the average 5-over-1 in his neighborhood to major European monuments Hyperventilating over Le Corbusier's proposal to rebuild Paris Hates "brutalism" more than any- thing in the world Calls "brutalist" anything made of exposed concrete Beating a dead horse by raging over modernist tower blocks Says modern architecture is some form of aesthetic dictatorship imposed upon people Literally wants neoclassicism to be imposed on everyone (like Trump tried to do) "Composition? Context? Concept? Tectonics? Pretentious nonsense taught by architecture schools!" "Modernist buildings all look the same!" Masturbates over every building that looks like a hundred million other classical buildings throughout the world "Old architecture was about the handmade work of stonemasons, till industrialization came to ruin everything!" (Loves Beaux Arts, Art Nouveau and Art Deco which were the literal pinnacle of the Industrial era. Calls classicism "timeless" (His way to say that it's literally the mindless copying of a 2.000 year old religious architecture) Calls classicism "local" (Even when it's built in cultures with no real history with it, like China) "Modernism was loved by dictators!" (No it fcking was not...) In the most extreme cases: Might be a MAGA/Russian bot White anti-woke right winger Has an Instagram or Pinterest account for his neo-trad p---$

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