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Front Page News Awful Articles l Wanna Be an Internet Tough Guy Tuesday, January 27,2004 Update by Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka Twitter fRecommend15 Monday, January 26th 2004: a day that I shall forever remember with infamy. When I woke up that chilly Winter morning, I had assumed it would be just another ordinary, average day full of cleaning up dog urine and getting fat off Flavo-Fives. I turned on my computer, which is what I usually do when I want my computer to turn on, and within a minute my entire world turned upside down. I'm not talking about a good type of turning upside down like in "The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire," mean a bad kind of upside-down like when you're stuck on a roller coaster loop sitting next to a morbidly obese man who sweats onion dip through his manhole-sized skin pores. The moment my computer booted up my copy of Windows XP Eddie Bauer Limited Edition, I received the following distressing message which hit me across the face with the power of megaton bomb. Uh, a megaton bomb which somebody used to hit me across the face, because I was like, uh, in a warehouse and the bomb was on some chains and swinging around and they swung it into me because I owed them a lot of money. And they were gangsters gangsters who wore black leather jackets and drove Japanese motorcycles with neon flames painted on them. Internet Tough Guy sYko jUggAIo 372: hey r u that lowtax f-- who wrote that article on da ICP???? ME: Yes, I am that f--. sYko_jUggAIO_372: im gonna fukin kill u f-- ME: Oh no!

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