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With his penis finally free, Ernie promise:s to never romance Bert's bowling ball again.

With his penis finally free, Ernie promise:s to never romance Bert's bowling ball again.

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Pointy-Nosed Jew

Bert is secretly happy that Ernie called the Count a "pointy-nosed Jew

Bert is secretly happy that Ernie called the Count a "pointy-nosed Jew

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bort

Bert tells Bort that his name is short for abortion and he s a livinglioke.Bort doesn't understand and shouts in an autistic fit of rage

Bert tells Bort that his name is short for abortion and he s a livinglioke.Bort doesn't understand and shouts in an autistic fit of rage

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NO THE NSA FINALLY CATCHES ERNIE, BELLA FACEPALMS

NO THE NSA FINALLY CATCHES ERNIE, BELLA FACEPALMS

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Ernie hopes Bert can decipher his secret message, "i want to blow you."

Ernie hopes Bert can decipher his secret message, "i want to blow you."

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Telly isn't sure which has him more confused: the fact he's letting an old black guy yell at him, or the fact he's becoming aroused by it

Telly isn't sure which has him more confused: the fact he's letting an old black guy yell at him, or the fact he's becoming aroused by it

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The hickey on Ernie's neck and the condom still on his nose confirmed Bert's suspicions: Ernie was cheating.

The hickey on Ernie's neck and the condom still on his nose confirmed Bert's suspicions: Ernie was cheating.

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ASomalianpieakesgreat offense to Bertsinterpretation ofthe professionandstrips himwherehestands

ASomalianpieakesgreat offense to Bertsinterpretation ofthe professionandstrips himwherehestands

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Big Bird's gaping maw salivated as he watched Bert writhe and scream in the steaming hot bowl of oatmeal. His hearty breakfast would be ready momentarily..

Big Bird's gaping maw salivated as he watched Bert writhe and scream in the steaming hot bowl of oatmeal. His hearty breakfast would be ready momentarily..

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Grover is finding it hard to look away as Mr. Johnson masturbates behind his menu

Grover is finding it hard to look away as Mr. Johnson masturbates behind his menu

Fuhrer Bert is ready to lead

And then Bert smacked Ernie across the face for failing to address him as Mein Führer.

And then Bert smacked Ernie across the face for failing to address him as Mein Führer.

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like a fucking adult.

SESAME STREET.org Fed up with finding dried c-- all over the apartment, Ernie teaches Bert to masturbate into a hankie. "You know, like a f------ adult."

SESAME STREET.org Fed up with finding dried c-- all over the apartment, Ernie teaches Bert to masturbate into a hankie. "You know, like a f------ adult."

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"That's not a pigeon on your head, Bert. That's an oversized tumor. It's been putting pressure on the active region of your brain, causing you to hallucinate. We're not even outside right now, Bert. You're actually facedown in a piss covered hospital bed, and you have been for decades. I should know, I'm one of your most enduring hallucinations."

"That's not a pigeon on your head, Bert. That's an oversized tumor. It's been putting pressure on the active region of your brain, causing you to hallucinate. We're not even outside right now, Bert. You're actually facedown in a piss covered hospital bed, and you have been for decades. I should know, I'm one of your most enduring hallucinations."

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and notices an alarming amount of blood.

and notices an alarming amount of blood.

Bertstrips: Feeding Elmo's bloodlust

Elmo hates what Elmo iS about to do, but Elmo has to feed Elmo's bloodlust.

Elmo hates what Elmo iS about to do, but Elmo has to feed Elmo's bloodlust.

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Not what he meant by "bang"

SESANE STREET Bert had something else in mind when he said that he wanted to bang

SESANE STREET Bert had something else in mind when he said that he wanted to bang

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Everyone point and laugh

Grover points and laughs at Kermits tiny penis

Grover points and laughs at Kermits tiny penis

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Uh oh

It wasn't until Bert turned his head past 180° that Ernie realized his friend was, indeed, possessed.

It wasn't until Bert turned his head past 180° that Ernie realized his friend was, indeed, possessed.

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Triple Dog Dare

Not wanting to turn down a Triple Dog Dare, Animal's scrotum becomes stuck to the flag pole for a full five minutes before his attempt to escape rips his d--- clean off

Not wanting to turn down a Triple Dog Dare, Animal's scrotum becomes stuck to the flag pole for a full five minutes before his attempt to escape rips his d--- clean off

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What's done is done

KA SESAMSTRASSE Bert is obviously uncomfortable wearing Kermit's skin, but what's done is done

KA SESAMSTRASSE Bert is obviously uncomfortable wearing Kermit's skin, but what's done is done

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