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One of Ernie's favorite holiday traditions is calling children and telling them Santa isn't real and they are the reason that their parents aren't happy

One of Ernie's favorite holiday traditions is calling children and telling them Santa isn't real and they are the reason that their parents aren't happy

ernie bert bertstrips santa

Bert didn't blame him, those verses were satanic.

Bert learns a local Imam has issued a fatwa calling for his death in response to a poem about muslims Bert drunkenly improvised the previous week.

Bert learns a local Imam has issued a fatwa calling for his death in response to a poem about muslims Bert drunkenly improvised the previous week.

bertstrips bert ernie fatwa

The temptation for the sensation of aggravation without hesitation on the plantation caused ejaculation.

Big Bird does his hourly drive-by of laughing at the slaves on his plantation

Big Bird does his hourly drive-by of laughing at the slaves on his plantation

big bird wagon laughing slave plantation

Better dead than Red

Bert's day out in the park is ruined when a Communist walks by

Bert's day out in the park is ruined when a Communist walks by

bert elmo communism

Oh...

2 Granny Bird tucks her grandson into bed, knowing that when he wakes up, she will be there for him no more

2 Granny Bird tucks her grandson into bed, knowing that when he wakes up, she will be there for him no more

bertstrips big bird grandma

Quite Embarrassing

Grover's sexy role-play scenario took a turn for the worst when he asked Mr. Johnson to pretend to be his dead mother

Grover's sexy role-play scenario took a turn for the worst when he asked Mr. Johnson to pretend to be his dead mother

grover mr johnson roleplay

At least he was teach them.

Kermit's sex ed class goes horribly wrong when his sidekick Elmo decides now was the perfect time to masturbate in a room full of children.

Kermit's sex ed class goes horribly wrong when his sidekick Elmo decides now was the perfect time to masturbate in a room full of children.

kermit elmo sex ed

wat

eOldeGa AndDoodle.Tumblr yeoldegaganddoodle Star and Marco get the Bert and Ernie treatment... although Star would probably be more at home in Eureeka's Castie.

eOldeGa AndDoodle.Tumblr yeoldegaganddoodle Star and Marco get the Bert and Ernie treatment... although Star would probably be more at home in Eureeka's Castie.

bertstrips sesame street star vs. the forces of evil star butterfly star princess marco marco diaz bert alternative universe puppets princess star butterfly ernie

Waldorf and Statler contemplate their lives.

"That performance was terrible! Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?" "Our wives died years ago, we gotta fi in the years until death." "I know, but isn't there anything else?" "I heard a new Waffle House opened up!" "Let's go yell at the new waitresses until they cry and the managers toss us out!"

"That performance was terrible! Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?" "Our wives died years ago, we gotta fi in the years until death." "I know, but isn't there anything else?" "I heard a new Waffle House opened up!" "Let's go yell at the new waitresses until they cry and the managers toss us out!"

statler and waldorf the muppet show bertstrips

Grover demonstrates

ESAME STREET Grover demonstrates how far the law requires him to stay away from children.

ESAME STREET Grover demonstrates how far the law requires him to stay away from children.

sesame street grover

Another Stephen King Novel....

SES The wells look in horror as they run over another unintended vicim,the řather now knowing hat the old Chinese usedcarsalesman was not joking when he stated This car is possessed by the spirit ofa mad street racer."

SES The wells look in horror as they run over another unintended vicim,the řather now knowing hat the old Chinese usedcarsalesman was not joking when he stated This car is possessed by the spirit ofa mad street racer."

sesame street bertstrips christine killer car old chinese used car salesman

And they recorded every phone conversation with his gay lover in the west

Soviet komcor Grover and Soviet komandarm Elmo arrest Mr. Johnson for helping Germans escape to the west

Soviet komcor Grover and Soviet komandarm Elmo arrest Mr. Johnson for helping Germans escape to the west

mr. johnson elmo east germany cold war stasi grover

Tentacles

Cookie monster and his friends hide the shame and disgust in their minds as they each prepare to have all of their tendervirgin orifices mercilessy penetrated by the octopus's many meaty tentacies on film so that they may havea chance of keeping the orphanage running for the rest of the year.

Cookie monster and his friends hide the shame and disgust in their minds as they each prepare to have all of their tendervirgin orifices mercilessy penetrated by the octopus's many meaty tentacies on film so that they may havea chance of keeping the orphanage running for the rest of the year.

tentacles cookie monster

Suki Lopez's story time

"ONAPRILI, 1924, because of the sentence handed down by the People's Court of Munich, I had to begin that day seving my term in the fortress at Landsberg on the Lech. Thus, after years of uninterruptedwork, Iwas afforded for the first time an opportunity to embark on a task insisted upon by many and felt to be seviceable to the movement by myself. Therefore, I resoved not only to set forth, in twovolumes, the object of our movement, but also to draw a picture of its development From this more can be learned than from any purely doctrinary treatise. Thatalso gae me the opportunity to describe my own development,as far as this is necessary for the understand ing of the first aswell as the secondvolume, and which may serve to destroy the evil legends created about my person by the Jewish press." Ms Lopez read aloud from Mein Kampf.

"ONAPRILI, 1924, because of the sentence handed down by the People's Court of Munich, I had to begin that day seving my term in the fortress at Landsberg on the Lech. Thus, after years of uninterruptedwork, Iwas afforded for the first time an opportunity to embark on a task insisted upon by many and felt to be seviceable to the movement by myself. Therefore, I resoved not only to set forth, in twovolumes, the object of our movement, but also to draw a picture of its development From this more can be learned than from any purely doctrinary treatise. Thatalso gae me the opportunity to describe my own development,as far as this is necessary for the understand ing of the first aswell as the secondvolume, and which may serve to destroy the evil legends created about my person by the Jewish press." Ms Lopez read aloud from Mein Kampf.

bertstrips elmo

Exploring their sexuality

Big Bird and Snuffaluffagus stare mesmerized at a discarded Playboy magazine they found in an alley.

Big Bird and Snuffaluffagus stare mesmerized at a discarded Playboy magazine they found in an alley.

big bird snuffaluffagus playboy magazine

But it was me Cookie Monster

SESAME STREET Stand User Cookie Monster activates his stand [C is for Cookie]

SESAME STREET Stand User Cookie Monster activates his stand [C is for Cookie]

jojo's bizarre adventure cookie monster sesame street bertstrips

Those War Flashbacks...

O 0 As a group of PTSD veterans exit therapy, Kermit and Telly shout and mimic explosions as they pass by.

O 0 As a group of PTSD veterans exit therapy, Kermit and Telly shout and mimic explosions as they pass by.

telly kermit the frog sesame street

ACTUNG!

Little Fritz froze in horror, but he knew what to do: He blew his shiny Hitler Youth whistle and the SS arrested the Jew in seconds.

Little Fritz froze in horror, but he knew what to do: He blew his shiny Hitler Youth whistle and the SS arrested the Jew in seconds.

the count sesame street ss nazis

She's a tad bit racist...

Ms. Daisy goes on an angry racist tirade after a n---- cuts in front of her at the grocery store checkout

Ms. Daisy goes on an angry racist tirade after a n---- cuts in front of her at the grocery store checkout

It wasn't just sugar

Elmo learns why everyone was so eagar to try the sugar cubes handed out at the music festival the hard way

Elmo learns why everyone was so eagar to try the sugar cubes handed out at the music festival the hard way

elmo drugs bad trip hallucination