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"E is for Existential Crisis"

"E is for Existential Crisis" Big Bird whispers to himself as he pulls the cyanide pill from his pocket

"E is for Existential Crisis" Big Bird whispers to himself as he pulls the cyanide pill from his pocket

bertstrips big bird

The hangover (2009)

Bert sincerely wonders just how much he Cookie Monster, and Grover drank last night

Bert sincerely wonders just how much he Cookie Monster, and Grover drank last night

bertstrips bert cookie monster grover

Ernie's waifu

Ernie's new waifu obsession was further fueled when he discovered DeviantArt.

Ernie's new waifu obsession was further fueled when he discovered DeviantArt.

bertstrips ernie waifu deviantart

"There's one! Get him, Bert!"

The year is 1839. Bert and Ernie walk through the jungle in search of people to bring to America on their special boat.

The year is 1839. Bert and Ernie walk through the jungle in search of people to bring to America on their special boat.

bertstrips bert ernie

Question is who won

2 Bert loses the d----measuring contest

2 Bert loses the d----measuring contest

bertstrips bert ernie cookie monster

He was later tried in Munich.

After the Fall of Berlin, Puppenführer Bert was caught attempting to cross the border from once-occupied Norway into neutral Sweden.

After the Fall of Berlin, Puppenführer Bert was caught attempting to cross the border from once-occupied Norway into neutral Sweden.

bertstrips bert berlin wall

Oh damn...

Bert and the other passengers scream in terror as Elmo takes control of the subway, screaming"THEYLL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!". The train then flew off a cliff... and onto President Trump's motorcade!

Bert and the other passengers scream in terror as Elmo takes control of the subway, screaming"THEYLL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!". The train then flew off a cliff... and onto President Trump's motorcade!

bertstrips bert elmo

Close but no cigar

The Count reveals the canon age of his waifu

The Count reveals the canon age of his waifu

bertstrips the count

The times they are a-changin‘

Sorout OU To Ernie's surprise, the little girls of today know how to defend themselves against predators

Sorout OU To Ernie's surprise, the little girls of today know how to defend themselves against predators

bertstrips ernie

Victimless warcrimes

As a weeaboo, Elmo greeted the inferior Chinese delegation by comparing the dogmeat dinner to the Japanese feast during the R--- of Nanjing

As a weeaboo, Elmo greeted the inferior Chinese delegation by comparing the dogmeat dinner to the Japanese feast during the R--- of Nanjing

bertstrips elmo cokkie monster big bird

Ernie did 9/11

Bert is in shock as he watches the second plane hit on 9/11. Ernie smiles, knowing his master plan is working as intended

Bert is in shock as he watches the second plane hit on 9/11. Ernie smiles, knowing his master plan is working as intended

bertstrips bert ernie

As if Bert's fetishes couldn't get even more disgusting

ift Shades of Oatmea Even though it's just a cookbook for oatmeal recipes, Bert is nevertheless getting horny just thinking of the many ways he can prepare and eat oatmeal

ift Shades of Oatmea Even though it's just a cookbook for oatmeal recipes, Bert is nevertheless getting horny just thinking of the many ways he can prepare and eat oatmeal

bertstrips bert

He won’t even look him in the eye anymore

Ernie breaks down in tears when he realizes the extent of Bert's paper clip fetish. He can't even make love without a pile of them on the bed.

Ernie breaks down in tears when he realizes the extent of Bert's paper clip fetish. He can't even make love without a pile of them on the bed.

bertstrips bert ernie

Bert's paperclip fetish

Bert's addiction to paperclip p--- was getting out of hand, and Ernie knew it was time to burn every last shred of it.

Bert's addiction to paperclip p--- was getting out of hand, and Ernie knew it was time to burn every last shred of it.

bertstrips bert ernie

Ernie named it Richard

Bert is shocked to see not only how massive Ernie's d--- is but also that it is sentient

Bert is shocked to see not only how massive Ernie's d--- is but also that it is sentient

bertstrips bert ernie

5 days with no food or water

Bert and Ernie are impressed with how long a starving orphan can survive in their freezer

Bert and Ernie are impressed with how long a starving orphan can survive in their freezer

bertstrips bert ernie

Just like the good ol' days

After being banned from Twitter, Bert finds an alternative, more old-fashioned approach to spreading white nationalist propaganda.

After being banned from Twitter, Bert finds an alternative, more old-fashioned approach to spreading white nationalist propaganda.

bertstrips bert twitter

The emptiness almost mocked him

Ernie shows Bert a drawing of what his entire life amounted to up to this point

Ernie shows Bert a drawing of what his entire life amounted to up to this point

bertstrips bert ernie

Nothing Better than a Dinner and a Show

Ernie delightfully watches as a swarm of sharks feast upon a man he threw overboard

Ernie delightfully watches as a swarm of sharks feast upon a man he threw overboard

bertstrips ernie

Unbeknownst to him, the real culprit had left in order to set him up.

Elmo made his way down to the torture chamber where Zoe and Abby had been kept for several weeks

Elmo made his way down to the torture chamber where Zoe and Abby had been kept for several weeks

bertstrips elmo