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This is for weeaboos

Ernie educates Bert about why the Japanese deserve a third nuclear bombing.

Ernie educates Bert about why the Japanese deserve a third nuclear bombing.

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Three fifths

Ernie proposes that slaves be counted as three-fifths of a person.

Ernie proposes that slaves be counted as three-fifths of a person.

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H̶͙͡i̘͙̮͔̯̭͕͇,͏̵̜͔̗ͅ ̼̘̲͓̲͙́ͅb̮̦̱͙̰̭̗́́a͏̶̶̮̘͎̝̘͎b̭y͏̳̝.̵͏̟̳͎̥̠

down on the child's head. A river of blood runs over his chin, and Elmo's long dormant powers

down on the child's head. A river of blood runs over his chin, and Elmo's long dormant powers

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Trumpeting the Sounds Away

Ernie plays the trumpet to drown out the sounds of the screaming children locked in the basement.

Ernie plays the trumpet to drown out the sounds of the screaming children locked in the basement.

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Bertstrips: Big Bird's First Curse Word

"B-------!" Big Bird screams while reading the 9/11 Commission

"B-------!" Big Bird screams while reading the 9/11 Commission

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Bertstrips: The Dance Must Go On

Bert struggles to hold up the dead prostitute.

Bert struggles to hold up the dead prostitute.

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There's no Soon like Too Soon.

DI L Bert and Ernie realize they didn't shoot down a ukrainian fighter plane

DI L Bert and Ernie realize they didn't shoot down a ukrainian fighter plane

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Poor Bert.

Bert's cries of anguish go unheard as he is overwhelmed and slowly devoured.

Bert's cries of anguish go unheard as he is overwhelmed and slowly devoured.

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Bertstrips: You Came to the Wrong Neighbor-Ho-Ho-Hood, Motherfucker

CTW OM " SESAME STREET ! Bert Ernie, Grover and Cookie Monster make use of Bert's corpse by hanging it from their Christmas Tree, to show rival gangs what happens to you when you mess with Sesame Street.

CTW OM " SESAME STREET ! Bert Ernie, Grover and Cookie Monster make use of Bert's corpse by hanging it from their Christmas Tree, to show rival gangs what happens to you when you mess with Sesame Street.

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Bertstrips: The Second Shooter

As Bert is demonstrating his super magnet Ernie wonders if he could use it to curve the path of a bullet so it would hit JFK's head.

As Bert is demonstrating his super magnet Ernie wonders if he could use it to curve the path of a bullet so it would hit JFK's head.

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Ancient Muppet Proverb:

"Any pill is a morning after pill if you take enough of them."

"Any pill is a morning after pill if you take enough of them."

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Tastes like chicken!

Ernie sells Big Bird to the meat company

Ernie sells Big Bird to the meat company

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H2Bort

Bert and Ernie watch as Bort struggles to free his leg from the makeshift anchor. "Should we have killed him first and then sunk him Bert?" Ernie asks "Nah, this is much more satisfying"

Bert and Ernie watch as Bort struggles to free his leg from the makeshift anchor. "Should we have killed him first and then sunk him Bert?" Ernie asks "Nah, this is much more satisfying"

bertstrips bert ernie bort drowning

Why do we hate Bort?

SESAME STREET Bort is frightened by the size of the shark dildo, but bert makes sure he cant run away

SESAME STREET Bort is frightened by the size of the shark dildo, but bert makes sure he cant run away

bertstrips bert ernie bort

Ernie's incompetence is ever-increasing.

Lefty is dissapointed that Ernie forgot his letters the A and E

Lefty is dissapointed that Ernie forgot his letters the A and E

bertstrips ernie lefty r p a e what's that spell?

Lessons From a Trusted Professional

Bill Cosby teaches Elmo how to d--------

Bill Cosby teaches Elmo how to d--------

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Bleach and Laxatives II: The Bortening

The BDSM & CP enthusiasts (("(DIlilítil"(0)mí, ii.ll1們(0))01們Wey]bl(l)) of 'Bleach-drinking Bort'

The BDSM & CP enthusiasts (("(DIlilítil"(0)mí, ii.ll1們(0))01們Wey]bl(l)) of 'Bleach-drinking Bort'

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Elmo gets plastic surgery.

PBS With his new lips, Elmo would give the meanest b------- around

PBS With his new lips, Elmo would give the meanest b------- around

elmo sesame street

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Bert is horrified to see Ernie's pathetic excuse for Klan attire. "What the f---? You stupid red-nosed t---------! They'll f------ kill us if you turn up looking like that!"

Bert is horrified to see Ernie's pathetic excuse for Klan attire. "What the f---? You stupid red-nosed t---------! They'll f------ kill us if you turn up looking like that!"

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Nothing worked on Bort before, maybe we'll get him this time!

Frustrated with their failed attempts, Bert and Ernie brainstorm for new recipes for the laxative & bleach concoction for Bort

Frustrated with their failed attempts, Bert and Ernie brainstorm for new recipes for the laxative & bleach concoction for Bort

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