Breakfast Sludge - Images

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BREaKFast SLUDGE (THat WILL BLOW OFF YOUR D---) DiScLaIMER: I'm about to show you some pretty experimental s---, so I hold no responsibility for anyone who's face is blown out the back of their head at how revolutionary it is. I also hold no responsibility for any d---- blown off by how delicious this s--- tastes StEP F------ onE Alright, firstly make sure you are mentally prepared for what is about to happen. Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale out your mouth. If you are not calm then the next steps will definitely make you freak the f--- out. Once you feel ready for the journey that lies ahead, you must get yourself a mug. Not some small-time p---- sized mug, a big f----- like the one pictured to the left here. I chose one that illustrates my manly love for chocolate. Chocolate is f------ delicious, don't even try to deny that. You lying p------------. StEP Two, P---- Okay you're doing good, you've managed to contain the sexual energy of getting your manly-as-s--- mug. Now you must get your first ingredient: wheat bisks. You can use any kind of similar cereal but I'm using because do I look like I'm made of money to you? F---. ASDA's Now I know what your t what the f--- do I need cereal for? Well this is something to thicken it out, and what could be better than some delicious-ass wheat? One is usually enough to make it a nice consistency, but once you've done this a couple of times you might be able to handle a second. Crush that m------------ up in your mug, Treat it like owes you money, because that wheaty a------ needs to be crushed as S--- otherwise it wont melt properly r on. StEP THREE Now its time for some coffee. Coffee AND cereal?? Yes, m-----------, I told you this s--- was from the future. Add as much coffee as you want, obviously more-better, Notice I'm not using some f------ p---- tea spoon. Who do you think Remember: caffeine shakes are god's way of saying "You've started this day correctly", Keep this in mind when adding your ingredients StEP THE F--- FOUR Tea AND coffee?? I know what you're thinking, this is b at-s--- insane, but let's consider this for a moment. It's th choose which delicious beverage you want to drink, and you certainly don't have to make both, so why not combine the s--- out of them? Also it tastes so good you'll want to tear off your own balls because you didn't try it sooner e morning, you don't have time to StEP FIVE Now add some sugar, notice the big f------ like you. you're a total f----- and don't like sugar with your tea/coffee/wheat bisks, then I suggest you MAN THE F--- UP and put it in anyway StEP SIX Now add some hot chocolate you the mix. Like I said earlier, this s--- if f------ delicious. If it wasn't why the f--- would they put it on the side of a mug? lesus It doesn't matter how much you put in, just pour the f----- until you have a nice brown dusty mound StEP SEVEn Now its time for the secret f------ ingredient: cinnamon. This s--- will turn this sludge from good to d----blown-off good. You can never add too much of this s---, so just pour it the f--- in and stop whining like a little bitch. The deliciously warming scent may cause you to don't worry, this is normal. StEP EIGHt lesus F--- you're almost finished. Now you must add some boiling as s--- water. If you're not a complete dumbass you will have already set the kettle to boil so you can just pour that s--- straight in. The delicious aroma of your sludge will hit you in the face harder than a brick thrown by Steven Seagal. Try to contain your ravenous urge to drink your sludge for a moment because there's still more s--- to StEP NinE Okay, now this part is f------ KEY. Stir the f--- out of your sludge. Don't worry of if isn't a thick consistency yet, this won't happen until it cools a little first. Make sure you SQUEEZE THE TEABAG on the side your spoon (As shown in that s--- picture). If you don't there's pretty much no point putting in a teabag at all because you wont be able to taste that s---. Final F------ StEP Lastly, pour in some f------ milk. Milk is good because it comes out of a cow, and cow is f------ delicious, so you know this s---'s good. I'm using semi-skimmed milk here because l used all the full-fat stuff making this s--- earlier. I don't advise using semi-skimmed unless you're a fat p------------ and could do with a lower-calorie alternative. Finally stir that m----------- again and you're ready to drink your creation. SaFEty InFORMation d you drink this sludge in a well populated area, with a nearby hospital. This is because this breakfast sludge is so f------ delicious that it'll literally blow your d--- clean off. Women should consult their doctor before drinking this s--- because of the sheer amount of testosterone produced while making and drinking this sludge may cause you to grow a penis, which will then be blown off from how f------ good this s--- actually is. F--- THAT S--- IS GOOD
BREaKFast SLUDGE (THat WILL BLOW OFF YOUR D---) DiScLaIMER: I'm about to show you some pretty experimental s---, so I hold no responsibility for anyone who's face is blown out the back of their head at how revolutionary it is. I also hold no responsibility for any d---- blown off by how delicious this s--- tastes StEP F------ onE Alright, firstly make sure you are mentally prepared for what is about to happen. Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale out your mouth. If you are not calm then the next steps will definitely make you freak the f--- out. Once you feel ready for the journey that lies ahead, you must get yourself a mug. Not some small-time p---- sized mug, a big f----- like the one pictured to the left here. I chose one that illustrates my manly love for chocolate. Chocolate is f------ delicious, don't even try to deny that. You lying p------------. StEP Two, P---- Okay you're doing good, you've managed to contain the sexual energy of getting your manly-as-s--- mug. Now you must get your first ingredient: wheat bisks. You can use any kind of similar cereal but I'm using because do I look like I'm made of money to you? F---. ASDA's Now I know what your t what the f--- do I need cereal for? Well this is something to thicken it out, and what could be better than some delicious-ass wheat? One is usually enough to make it a nice consistency, but once you've done this a couple of times you might be able to handle a second. Crush that m------------ up in your mug, Treat it like owes you money, because that wheaty a------ needs to be crushed as S--- otherwise it wont melt properly r on. StEP THREE Now its time for some coffee. Coffee AND cereal?? Yes, m-----------, I told you this s--- was from the future. Add as much coffee as you want, obviously more-better, Notice I'm not using some f------ p---- tea spoon. Who do you think Remember: caffeine shakes are god's way of saying "You've started this day correctly", Keep this in mind when adding your ingredients StEP THE F--- FOUR Tea AND coffee?? I know what you're thinking, this is b at-s--- insane, but let's consider this for a moment. It's th choose which delicious beverage you want to drink, and you certainly don't have to make both, so why not combine the s--- out of them? Also it tastes so good you'll want to tear off your own balls because you didn't try it sooner e morning, you don't have time to StEP FIVE Now add some sugar, notice the big f------ like you. you're a total f----- and don't like sugar with your tea/coffee/wheat bisks, then I suggest you MAN THE F--- UP and put it in anyway StEP SIX Now add some hot chocolate you the mix. Like I said earlier, this s--- if f------ delicious. If it wasn't why the f--- would they put it on the side of a mug? lesus It doesn't matter how much you put in, just pour the f----- until you have a nice brown dusty mound StEP SEVEn Now its time for the secret f------ ingredient: cinnamon. This s--- will turn this sludge from good to d----blown-off good. You can never add too much of this s---, so just pour it the f--- in and stop whining like a little bitch. The deliciously warming scent may cause you to don't worry, this is normal. StEP EIGHt lesus F--- you're almost finished. Now you must add some boiling as s--- water. If you're not a complete dumbass you will have already set the kettle to boil so you can just pour that s--- straight in. The delicious aroma of your sludge will hit you in the face harder than a brick thrown by Steven Seagal. Try to contain your ravenous urge to drink your sludge for a moment because there's still more s--- to StEP NinE Okay, now this part is f------ KEY. Stir the f--- out of your sludge. Don't worry of if isn't a thick consistency yet, this won't happen until it cools a little first. Make sure you SQUEEZE THE TEABAG on the side your spoon (As shown in that s--- picture). If you don't there's pretty much no point putting in a teabag at all because you wont be able to taste that s---. Final F------ StEP Lastly, pour in some f------ milk. Milk is good because it comes out of a cow, and cow is f------ delicious, so you know this s---'s good. I'm using semi-skimmed milk here because l used all the full-fat stuff making this s--- earlier. I don't advise using semi-skimmed unless you're a fat p------------ and could do with a lower-calorie alternative. Finally stir that m----------- again and you're ready to drink your creation. SaFEty InFORMation d you drink this sludge in a well populated area, with a nearby hospital. This is because this breakfast sludge is so f------ delicious that it'll literally blow your d--- clean off. Women should consult their doctor before drinking this s--- because of the sheer amount of testosterone produced while making and drinking this sludge may cause you to grow a penis, which will then be blown off from how f------ good this s--- actually is. F--- THAT S--- IS GOOD

Breakfast Sludge