Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir - Images

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The Immortal Failure

r/ReallyShittyCopper Posted by u/Robotdolphinclub0 9 months ago S The Immortal Failure The Immortal Failure I stood there, before this grand monument of old humanity, within the ancient Library of the Heavens. Nearly Ten thousand years had passed since the descendents of those frail wetware beings had birthed my race. The peoples of the old planet had escaped, adapted, and then thrived beyond the gravity well of their birth, but a rare few had truly retained their memory. We had maintained some records of our history in these halls- storing the records of antiquity that we could verify in virtual realities and cybercosms, and sometimes, very rarely, the physical artifacts that some rare preservationists had kept at great expense. They had crossed the great expanses of the void in tiny cradles of air and life, propelled by fusion or antimatter drives- and we remembered those brave voyagers. Millions, billions, and then trillions of individuals and collectives had voyaged further- striving, hoping, and growing the grand project of civilization to other stars. Many had clawed and conquered their way toward immortality or to live in the records of history, but ultimately failed. Still, others succeed, for a while. Here, in the library of the heavens, on a grand swarm of city-structured habitats orbiting an artificial sun, some records were maintained. The geniuses. The creators who had aided in our grand path from crude survival with sharpened stones and fire, to terraforming worlds and forging elements from stellar engines. Others had been remembered for more humble reasons- as important accidents of history, or as faces of dead cultures. And then there was His record. The cast and recast tablet. Though many of us lived for centuries now, in gilded, ever-changing bodies of silicon and polymer, or transmitting our mindstates as light signals between the stars, no person of any body had truly survived as long as this tiny, ancient joke. He was a story. A name preserved in infamy- the imagined vestiges of his culture created and recreated and imitated as a fashion or aesthetic for those fascinated by the ancient archeologies of Earth. And there, standing in the historical simulation of his dusty time, i spoke to the ghost of that long-remembered man. I had come here to bring it all to life, once again. To smell what he smelled. To hear what he heard. To watch him dig the soil that sustained him. The illusion flickered on around me. Our laws surrounding resurrection had prevented his recreation in full-preventing him from growing to full consciousness, but nonetheless, we had preserved some version, a half-biological simulacra- a biobot-for ease of conversation. Though he was not truly alive, we had ensured that he would never truly die. His name and deeds, so utterly ordinary in the time of his own life, had, through the efforts of millions of minds passing down his legend, achieved that form of rare immortality. And so the hairy, fleshy little ancestor looked up at me, unknowing at my true nature. A hundred years after the death of his original body, most traces of him had likely been utterly forgotten. But not all. For eventually, his record was recovered. The recreated sands and mud of his house stood around us, baking in the illusion of a sun nobody had visited for five thousand years. The sounds of forges blowing and breaking stone echoed through the windows made from clay. Then he spoke in my direction, angrily, as he read the clay tablet addressed to him, and his immortal failure, in the translation of a tongue no mouth had spoken natively since writing had been first birthed near the rivers of old Babylon: "Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message: When you came, you said to me as follows: "I will give Gimil-Sin (when he comes) fine quality copper ingots." You left then but you did not do what you promised me. You put ingots which were not good before my messenger ..." 155 upvotes 6 comments
r/ReallyShittyCopper Posted by u/Robotdolphinclub0 9 months ago S The Immortal Failure The Immortal Failure I stood there, before this grand monument of old humanity, within the ancient Library of the Heavens. Nearly Ten thousand years had passed since the descendents of those frail wetware beings had birthed my race. The peoples of the old planet had escaped, adapted, and then thrived beyond the gravity well of their birth, but a rare few had truly retained their memory. We had maintained some records of our history in these halls- storing the records of antiquity that we could verify in virtual realities and cybercosms, and sometimes, very rarely, the physical artifacts that some rare preservationists had kept at great expense. They had crossed the great expanses of the void in tiny cradles of air and life, propelled by fusion or antimatter drives- and we remembered those brave voyagers. Millions, billions, and then trillions of individuals and collectives had voyaged further- striving, hoping, and growing the grand project of civilization to other stars. Many had clawed and conquered their way toward immortality or to live in the records of history, but ultimately failed. Still, others succeed, for a while. Here, in the library of the heavens, on a grand swarm of city-structured habitats orbiting an artificial sun, some records were maintained. The geniuses. The creators who had aided in our grand path from crude survival with sharpened stones and fire, to terraforming worlds and forging elements from stellar engines. Others had been remembered for more humble reasons- as important accidents of history, or as faces of dead cultures. And then there was His record. The cast and recast tablet. Though many of us lived for centuries now, in gilded, ever-changing bodies of silicon and polymer, or transmitting our mindstates as light signals between the stars, no person of any body had truly survived as long as this tiny, ancient joke. He was a story. A name preserved in infamy- the imagined vestiges of his culture created and recreated and imitated as a fashion or aesthetic for those fascinated by the ancient archeologies of Earth. And there, standing in the historical simulation of his dusty time, i spoke to the ghost of that long-remembered man. I had come here to bring it all to life, once again. To smell what he smelled. To hear what he heard. To watch him dig the soil that sustained him. The illusion flickered on around me. Our laws surrounding resurrection had prevented his recreation in full-preventing him from growing to full consciousness, but nonetheless, we had preserved some version, a half-biological simulacra- a biobot-for ease of conversation. Though he was not truly alive, we had ensured that he would never truly die. His name and deeds, so utterly ordinary in the time of his own life, had, through the efforts of millions of minds passing down his legend, achieved that form of rare immortality. And so the hairy, fleshy little ancestor looked up at me, unknowing at my true nature. A hundred years after the death of his original body, most traces of him had likely been utterly forgotten. But not all. For eventually, his record was recovered. The recreated sands and mud of his house stood around us, baking in the illusion of a sun nobody had visited for five thousand years. The sounds of forges blowing and breaking stone echoed through the windows made from clay. Then he spoke in my direction, angrily, as he read the clay tablet addressed to him, and his immortal failure, in the translation of a tongue no mouth had spoken natively since writing had been first birthed near the rivers of old Babylon: "Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message: When you came, you said to me as follows: "I will give Gimil-Sin (when he comes) fine quality copper ingots." You left then but you did not do what you promised me. You put ingots which were not good before my messenger ..." 155 upvotes 6 comments

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
scifi short story post-singularity space colonies

time to laser-print my entire blog on titanium plates and bury them underground

charlesoberonn "I wish ancient people preserved their writing and artifacts better" I write in electronic signals on a piece of hardware that can't retain its efficacy for more than a few decades. charlesoberonn Time to laser-print my entire blog on titanium plates and bury them underground. stumpybelham brb etching my one-star yelp review of the sheet metal supplier that sold us s----- copper on a granite slab alexisthenedd We are never going to give this guy a f------ break are we lordandgodoftheobvious Ea-nasir knows what he did. mctreeleth But more importantly, WE know what he did. Because it got written down in some rocks. prokopetz The funny part is that clay tablets are supposed to be ephemeral. When you're done with them you just soak them in water, smooth them out, and re-use them for a different message. They weren't meant to be any more permanent than an email. The only reason we still have that particular clay tablet is because a. Ea-nasir was a huge weirdo who collected all of his hate mail, and b. his house later burned down, and coincidentally did so at exactly the right temperature to bake the collected tablets into pottery rather than destroying them. It's basically the equivalent of an email getting inscribed onto a steel plate by accident. 111,237 notes Apr 18th, 2022
charlesoberonn "I wish ancient people preserved their writing and artifacts better" I write in electronic signals on a piece of hardware that can't retain its efficacy for more than a few decades. charlesoberonn Time to laser-print my entire blog on titanium plates and bury them underground. stumpybelham brb etching my one-star yelp review of the sheet metal supplier that sold us s----- copper on a granite slab alexisthenedd We are never going to give this guy a f------ break are we lordandgodoftheobvious Ea-nasir knows what he did. mctreeleth But more importantly, WE know what he did. Because it got written down in some rocks. prokopetz The funny part is that clay tablets are supposed to be ephemeral. When you're done with them you just soak them in water, smooth them out, and re-use them for a different message. They weren't meant to be any more permanent than an email. The only reason we still have that particular clay tablet is because a. Ea-nasir was a huge weirdo who collected all of his hate mail, and b. his house later burned down, and coincidentally did so at exactly the right temperature to bake the collected tablets into pottery rather than destroying them. It's basically the equivalent of an email getting inscribed onto a steel plate by accident. 111,237 notes Apr 18th, 2022

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
data storage

In the afterlife, souls can see how many living people still know you once existed

writing-prompt-s writing-prompt-s In the afterlife, souls can see how many living people still know you once existed. You, who had lived a fairly normal life, finally saw the count drop to 0 just 200 years after your death. 500 years later, 95% of the Earth's total population suddenly knows about you. anotherhawk And they all know I sold really, really s----- copper. 104,243 notes Sep 29th, 2020 .. tl
writing-prompt-s writing-prompt-s In the afterlife, souls can see how many living people still know you once existed. You, who had lived a fairly normal life, finally saw the count drop to 0 just 200 years after your death. 500 years later, 95% of the Earth's total population suddenly knows about you. anotherhawk And they all know I sold really, really s----- copper. 104,243 notes Sep 29th, 2020 .. tl

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
afterlife memory

It's still so strange to me how apparently taboo it is to like a post on someone's Instagram from a ...

I'm 80% Sure; QO scarletlyychnis not-a-bit-good Follow sipul 1 hr. ago worth-beyond-a-number-scale Nov 12 It's still so strange to me how apparently taboo it is to like a post on someone's Instagram from a month ago when there are posts still circulating on Tumblr from 1550 BCE roolsilver Dec 27 ●●● 30,473 notes Follow [] If he didn't want it circulating in 2022 he should have sold better copper Follow
I'm 80% Sure; QO scarletlyychnis not-a-bit-good Follow sipul 1 hr. ago worth-beyond-a-number-scale Nov 12 It's still so strange to me how apparently taboo it is to like a post on someone's Instagram from a month ago when there are posts still circulating on Tumblr from 1550 BCE roolsilver Dec 27 ●●● 30,473 notes Follow [] If he didn't want it circulating in 2022 he should have sold better copper Follow

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
instagram tumblr necroposting

deal with the devil

Micro SF/F stories @MicroSFF. Follow "These copper ingots," the devil said, "are of sub-par quality." "You accepted them as payment," the merchant said, "the deal is done." "Very well. I will uphold my end of the bargain," the devil said. "Your name will live forever." "That is all I ask," said Ea-nasir. 10:57 AM - Aug 30, 2021 Reply 13K Copy link to Tweet Read 61 replies 0
Micro SF/F stories @MicroSFF. Follow "These copper ingots," the devil said, "are of sub-par quality." "You accepted them as payment," the merchant said, "the deal is done." "Very well. I will uphold my end of the bargain," the devil said. "Your name will live forever." "That is all I ask," said Ea-nasir. 10:57 AM - Aug 30, 2021 Reply 13K Copy link to Tweet Read 61 replies 0

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
faustian bargain copper ingots immortality

ea-nasir trust me

EA NASIR IT'S VERY HIGH QUALITY COPPER TRUST ME
EA NASIR IT'S VERY HIGH QUALITY COPPER TRUST ME

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir nanni

ea-nasir excuse me

Coprolite @Coprolithic Excuse me. I need to compose a missive about an inferior shipment of copper. Traduire le Tweet David S. Anderson @DSAArchaeology · 2 j The future is here!!! H/t to Bad Archaeology on FB. facebook.com/ 15008365035171... E ECARE TANKE 22:29 · 20 nov. 20 · Twitter Web App
Coprolite @Coprolithic Excuse me. I need to compose a missive about an inferior shipment of copper. Traduire le Tweet David S. Anderson @DSAArchaeology · 2 j The future is here!!! H/t to Bad Archaeology on FB. facebook.com/ 15008365035171... E ECARE TANKE 22:29 · 20 nov. 20 · Twitter Web App

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir nanni

return of the king

NEWS Home Brexit Coronavirus UK World Business Politics Tech Science Heal Business Your Money Market Data Companies Economy Global Car Industry Trader gets painted stones instead of $36m of copper O 10 hours ago Somehow, Ea-Nasir has returned.
NEWS Home Brexit Coronavirus UK World Business Politics Tech Science Heal Business Your Money Market Data Companies Economy Global Car Industry Trader gets painted stones instead of $36m of copper O 10 hours ago Somehow, Ea-Nasir has returned.

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir nanni

Ea-nasir is that you?

brightwanderer Follow Joe Weisenthal @TheStalwart 45m A trader in Turkey bought $36 million worth of copper, but then when it was delivered it turned out to just be rocks painted to look like copper bloomberg.com/news/articles/... ... .. Ea-Nasir is that YOU
brightwanderer Follow Joe Weisenthal @TheStalwart 45m A trader in Turkey bought $36 million worth of copper, but then when it was delivered it turned out to just be rocks painted to look like copper bloomberg.com/news/articles/... ... .. Ea-Nasir is that YOU

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir nanni

seething

Things to say that will. always start a fight. V where can i get high quality copper
Things to say that will. always start a fight. V where can i get high quality copper

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir nanni

Ea-Nasir Did Nothing Wrong

The Akkadian Merchant >Gets low quality copper ingots >Gets insulted by Ea-Nasir > Has to travel through war zones > State thinks he is a smuggler > Owes Ea-Nasir a mina of silver >Wife & Daughter would rather be with Ea-Nasir
The Akkadian Merchant >Gets low quality copper ingots >Gets insulted by Ea-Nasir > Has to travel through war zones > State thinks he is a smuggler > Owes Ea-Nasir a mina of silver >Wife & Daughter would rather be with Ea-Nasir

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir nanni

Ea-nasir be like

Ea-Nasir *Slaps roof of Car* "This bad boy can fit so much -Fine Quality Copper Ingots- in it."
Ea-Nasir *Slaps roof of Car* "This bad boy can fit so much -Fine Quality Copper Ingots- in it."

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir nanni

It's a little-known fact that Bowser is actually a subtle reference to Ea-Nasir, as Shigeru Miyamoto had purchased some poor quality copper ingots, an...

What are the Mario Bros. views on receiving ingots which are not of good quality? Mario says: luigi says These things happen in life. I should move on, and purchase my ingots elsewhere in future. Ifa your ingots are taint, itsa tíme for a complaint!
What are the Mario Bros. views on receiving ingots which are not of good quality? Mario says: luigi says These things happen in life. I should move on, and purchase my ingots elsewhere in future. Ifa your ingots are taint, itsa tíme for a complaint!

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir nanni mario

A whole month without Ea-Nasir memes? IMPOSSIBLE!

He protecc He attac But most importantly He send messenger bacc
He protecc He attac But most importantly He send messenger bacc

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir

based mesopotamia

U Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)17:49:48 No.10604338 E >>10604661 >>10604708 >>10604782 >>10605277 This Sumerian tablet from the 20th century BC. C. contains what is probably the first written complaint in history, made by a customer who was not satisfied with the service of the store in his city Based Mesopotamia >> Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)18:36:08 No.10604650 Ea Nasir did NOTHING wrong! O Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)18:38:04 No.10604661 ► >>10604338 (OP). F--- I love reading about Ancient Mesopotamia You always get this idea that people in ancient history are so different and alien but in reality they were the same people like us who scammed each other for an easy shekel
U Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)17:49:48 No.10604338 E >>10604661 >>10604708 >>10604782 >>10605277 This Sumerian tablet from the 20th century BC. C. contains what is probably the first written complaint in history, made by a customer who was not satisfied with the service of the store in his city Based Mesopotamia >> Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)18:36:08 No.10604650 Ea Nasir did NOTHING wrong! O Anonymous 03/07/21(Sun)18:38:04 No.10604661 ► >>10604338 (OP). F--- I love reading about Ancient Mesopotamia You always get this idea that people in ancient history are so different and alien but in reality they were the same people like us who scammed each other for an easy shekel

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir

The complaint tablet to Ea-nasir is the worlds oldest customer complaint, dating back to 1750 BC

The Virgin Nanni Why the hell does he need so much copper anyway? sends a servant (slave) to do got swindled transactions for him by Ea-Nasir wife and daughter will most likely most gullible leave him merchant for Ea-Nasir in all Babylon wasted a perfectly good clay tablet walked through a writing the worlds war zone to first customer just to get a service complaint refund; got denied The Chad Ea-Nasir "Sorry, no refunds" probably has a full harem Will treat you of wives and your messenger with contempt travels all the way to Persia to buy s----- Keeps all the copper. He then complaint tablets from all his costumers in his house as amusing sells it at ludicrous prices decorations and by overhyping it's quality to assert dominance
The Virgin Nanni Why the hell does he need so much copper anyway? sends a servant (slave) to do got swindled transactions for him by Ea-Nasir wife and daughter will most likely most gullible leave him merchant for Ea-Nasir in all Babylon wasted a perfectly good clay tablet walked through a writing the worlds war zone to first customer just to get a service complaint refund; got denied The Chad Ea-Nasir "Sorry, no refunds" probably has a full harem Will treat you of wives and your messenger with contempt travels all the way to Persia to buy s----- Keeps all the copper. He then complaint tablets from all his costumers in his house as amusing sells it at ludicrous prices decorations and by overhyping it's quality to assert dominance

Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir
ea-nasir ea-nasir memes ea nasir tablet ea-nasir copper merchant 1750 bc problems bad copper meme who is ea-nasir