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Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Worrying works! More than 90 per cent of the things I worry about never happen.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Worrying works! More than 90 per cent of the things I worry about never happen.

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Took me a while to notice

Wanna know the difference between a UFO and a bad driver? Turn your phone upside down.

Wanna know the difference between a UFO and a bad driver? Turn your phone upside down.

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We are proud of you!

Dads when they see their kid perform. you're doing amazing, sweetie

Dads when they see their kid perform. you're doing amazing, sweetie

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“Nice to meet you, patient”

Sorry about leaving you waiting No problem doctor, I'm patient. @DadSaysJokes

Sorry about leaving you waiting No problem doctor, I'm patient. @DadSaysJokes

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Rare Daughter uno reverse card lol

Look, a flock of cows! Herd of cows. Yes, I have; there's a flock of them over there. @DADSAYS JOKES

Look, a flock of cows! Herd of cows. Yes, I have; there's a flock of them over there. @DADSAYS JOKES

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Got a little car-ried away there

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What do we want? Racing car noises!!! When do we want them? Neeee00000000WWWWWW!!!!!!!

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes What do we want? Racing car noises!!! When do we want them? Neeee00000000WWWWWW!!!!!!!

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Quite impressive

My wife learned how to perpendicular park today

My wife learned how to perpendicular park today

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That is the question

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes Breaking news: historians believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that once belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson said, "They're so badly chewed on the ends, we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B."

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes Breaking news: historians believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that once belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson said, "They're so badly chewed on the ends, we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B."

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Simple times.

How we blocked people in the 1980s 5 4 3 2 6 7 890 11-2

How we blocked people in the 1980s 5 4 3 2 6 7 890 11-2

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Always easier to give a “we’ll see”

Dad Translate Dad We'll see English No we won't, but I don't want to argue about it

Dad Translate Dad We'll see English No we won't, but I don't want to argue about it

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This is pretty accurate

Dad with Daughter Dad with Son

Dad with Daughter Dad with Son

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Taxi driving life chose him

This dude was born to be a taxi driver. Diamond Pekup Andropov Delivering since April 2020 2047 100% Deliveries Satisfaction rate >

This dude was born to be a taxi driver. Diamond Pekup Andropov Delivering since April 2020 2047 100% Deliveries Satisfaction rate >

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Ironing has never been as ironic before

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Do you know why ironing pants makes them smaller? Because it de-creases them. A

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Do you know why ironing pants makes them smaller? Because it de-creases them. A

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Hi Hungry

Me: Dad I'm hungry Dad: Hi hungry I'm dad Me: Dad:

Me: Dad I'm hungry Dad: Hi hungry I'm dad Me: Dad:

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Mind your business.

Wife: Where are all the coffee filters!? Me:

Wife: Where are all the coffee filters!? Me:

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My kind of night

My husband had a sleepover with his best friends to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

My husband had a sleepover with his best friends to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

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