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66 Yes, please. 66 Do you want to hear today's special? 99 66 No problem sir. Today is special.
66 Yes, please. 66 Do you want to hear today's special? 99 66 No problem sir. Today is special.

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Sorry

Why do you never take me out to dinner? I don't go out with married But I'm your wife! women @DadSaysJokes I make no exceptions, sorry!
Why do you never take me out to dinner? I don't go out with married But I'm your wife! women @DadSaysJokes I make no exceptions, sorry!

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No Even Jobs

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I hired a handyman and gave him a to-do list. When I got home only items 1, 3, and 5 got done. Turns out he only does odd jobs. 10:36 AM. Aug 31, 2023 126.4K Views 120 Reposts 8 Quotes 1,385 Likes 30 Bookmarks 17 □ (→ ...
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I hired a handyman and gave him a to-do list. When I got home only items 1, 3, and 5 got done. Turns out he only does odd jobs. 10:36 AM. Aug 31, 2023 126.4K Views 120 Reposts 8 Quotes 1,385 Likes 30 Bookmarks 17 □ (→ ...

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Just a Pinch

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My doctor advised me to cut down on my sodium intake. P I took his advice with a pinch of salt. 3:17 PM. Aug 31, 2023 99.2K Views 63 Reposts 3 Quotes 819 Likes 19 Bookmarks 27 □ 소 :
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My doctor advised me to cut down on my sodium intake. P I took his advice with a pinch of salt. 3:17 PM. Aug 31, 2023 99.2K Views 63 Reposts 3 Quotes 819 Likes 19 Bookmarks 27 □ 소 :

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Not Even a Semicolon

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Doctor: I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon. Me Why? 3:20 PM. Aug 31, 2023 102.5K Views 80 Reposts 7 Quotes 751 Likes 8 Bookmarks 27 □ (→ ...
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Doctor: I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon. Me Why? 3:20 PM. Aug 31, 2023 102.5K Views 80 Reposts 7 Quotes 751 Likes 8 Bookmarks 27 □ (→ ...

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Boing

How do you make a water bed more bouncy? How? Add spring water
How do you make a water bed more bouncy? How? Add spring water

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One Day

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. I'm sure he'll come around, eventually. 5:09 PM . Aug 31, 2023 138.5K Views 158 Reposts 8 Quotes 1,594 Likes 29 Bookmarks 12 Q ←] :
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. I'm sure he'll come around, eventually. 5:09 PM . Aug 31, 2023 138.5K Views 158 Reposts 8 Quotes 1,594 Likes 29 Bookmarks 12 Q ←] :

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Huge Wave

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P What's the opposite of a microwave? A tsunami. 8:17 AM Sep 1, 2023 86.9K Views 100 Reposts 3 Quotes 878 Likes 31 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P What's the opposite of a microwave? A tsunami. 8:17 AM Sep 1, 2023 86.9K Views 100 Reposts 3 Quotes 878 Likes 31 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑

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Unbelievable

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I went to the doctor and said I've got ear ache, inflamed sinuses, conjunctivitis and headaches, but he was dismissive... He told me, "It's all in your head." 9:06 AM Sep 1, 2023.91K Views 52 Reposts 3 Quotes 747 Likes 14 Bookmarks 22 □ ↑ :
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I went to the doctor and said I've got ear ache, inflamed sinuses, conjunctivitis and headaches, but he was dismissive... He told me, "It's all in your head." 9:06 AM Sep 1, 2023.91K Views 52 Reposts 3 Quotes 747 Likes 14 Bookmarks 22 □ ↑ :

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More Comfortable That Way

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down. Told her it's because I can't stand doing it. 5:00 PM. Sep 1, 2023 96.2K Views 67 Reposts 2 Quotes 886 Likes 19 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑ ...
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down. Told her it's because I can't stand doing it. 5:00 PM. Sep 1, 2023 96.2K Views 67 Reposts 2 Quotes 886 Likes 19 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑ ...

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Mini Soda

Big Burger pepsi Big Soda Mini Burger
Big Burger pepsi Big Soda Mini Burger

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Hmm?

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? P Me: That's when I went to Yale. Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired. Me: Thanks. I really need this yob. 9:36 AM - Sep 3, 2023 217.7K Views 126 Reposts 12 Quotes 1,462 Likes 41 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑ : ...
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? P Me: That's when I went to Yale. Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired. Me: Thanks. I really need this yob. 9:36 AM - Sep 3, 2023 217.7K Views 126 Reposts 12 Quotes 1,462 Likes 41 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑ : ...

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Tragic

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P My balloon elephant wouldn't fit on the back seat of the car. So I had to pop the trunk. 12:38 PM. Sep 3, 2023 101.8K Views • 25 Reposts 1 Quote 430 Likes 8 Bookmarks 27 ↑ ...
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P My balloon elephant wouldn't fit on the back seat of the car. So I had to pop the trunk. 12:38 PM. Sep 3, 2023 101.8K Views • 25 Reposts 1 Quote 430 Likes 8 Bookmarks 27 ↑ ...

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Get it

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Das a foot P EDWIN 8:04 AM - Sep 4, 2023 137.7K Views 151 Reposts 8 Quotes ● 1,214 Likes 19 Bookmarks 27 口 PURIFIED WATER WITH MINERALS FOR APART FROM TH DA AN 0 plan butte 20 FL 02 (1.25 PT) 591 Lieberpetion ↑ ... :
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Das a foot P EDWIN 8:04 AM - Sep 4, 2023 137.7K Views 151 Reposts 8 Quotes ● 1,214 Likes 19 Bookmarks 27 口 PURIFIED WATER WITH MINERALS FOR APART FROM TH DA AN 0 plan butte 20 FL 02 (1.25 PT) 591 Lieberpetion ↑ ... :

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Bros

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Bros don't let other bros walk around with an open fly. P It's called the zip code. 10:20 AM. Sep 4, 2023 66.5K Views 45 Reposts 2 Quotes 494 Likes 7 Bookmarks 27 (→ :
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Bros don't let other bros walk around with an open fly. P It's called the zip code. 10:20 AM. Sep 4, 2023 66.5K Views 45 Reposts 2 Quotes 494 Likes 7 Bookmarks 27 (→ :

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Fair Enough

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I said 'Not at all' I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said 'do you mind if I put some music on?' He said 'Kiss?' P I said 'Let's listen to the music first and see how we feel'. 10:23 AM . Sep 4, 2023 82.3K Views 39 Reposts 4 Quotes 607 Likes 13 Bookmarks 22 : (→
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I said 'Not at all' I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said 'do you mind if I put some music on?' He said 'Kiss?' P I said 'Let's listen to the music first and see how we feel'. 10:23 AM . Sep 4, 2023 82.3K Views 39 Reposts 4 Quotes 607 Likes 13 Bookmarks 22 : (→

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Yep

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes . Follow This aged well... 2:50 PM Aug 14, 2023 2.8K Reply ↑ Share Read 37 replies X ℗
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes . Follow This aged well... 2:50 PM Aug 14, 2023 2.8K Reply ↑ Share Read 37 replies X ℗

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Get it

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes . Follow What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna1 Anna2. 2:45 PM Aug 15, 2023 729 Reply ↑ Share Read 9 replies X
Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes . Follow What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna1 Anna2. 2:45 PM Aug 15, 2023 729 Reply ↑ Share Read 9 replies X

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Cool Shoes

One time my son hid these in the fridge. Now every time I wear them he says, "cool shoes, dad" I've created a monster. THE DAD
One time my son hid these in the fridge. Now every time I wear them he says, "cool shoes, dad" I've created a monster. THE DAD

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Mat(t)

Your welcome mat. *834 WELCOME E34 You're welcome, Matt. HELLO Thank you. MATT HELLO MATT
Your welcome mat. *834 WELCOME E34 You're welcome, Matt. HELLO Thank you. MATT HELLO MATT

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