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Way to conduct yourself

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My boss said to me, "You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?" I said: "I'm not sure. It's hard to keep track."

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My boss said to me, "You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?" I said: "I'm not sure. It's hard to keep track."

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Just start over and Moo-ve on.

Dad Jokes ⭑ @Dadsaysjokes I was supposed to draw a male cow, but I drew it as a female instead. I made a Miss Steak.

Dad Jokes ⭑ @Dadsaysjokes I was supposed to draw a male cow, but I drew it as a female instead. I made a Miss Steak.

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No lie told

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes A detective showed up at my house and asked me where I was between five and six. I told him I was at school.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes A detective showed up at my house and asked me where I was between five and six. I told him I was at school.

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Can always count on dad to look out for you

46 @DadSays Jokes > iMessage Today 17:02 Make sure you wear a coat today... It's chilly outside Huh?

46 @DadSays Jokes > iMessage Today 17:02 Make sure you wear a coat today... It's chilly outside Huh?

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Broco Lee

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother; Broco Lee.

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother; Broco Lee.

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Skill issue

I learned how to perpendicular park today

I learned how to perpendicular park today

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Let's be positive here

DAD JOKES OF THE WEEK Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it fit!!! So proud of myself. It was a pair of socks, But still. Let's be positive here.

DAD JOKES OF THE WEEK Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it fit!!! So proud of myself. It was a pair of socks, But still. Let's be positive here.

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All your money goes up in smoke.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes You think gas and electric prices are expensive, have you seen chimneys? They're through the roof.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes You think gas and electric prices are expensive, have you seen chimneys? They're through the roof.

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Pretty much

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes If there were a pill to cure procrastination, I would probably take it tomorrow.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes If there were a pill to cure procrastination, I would probably take it tomorrow.

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Generational affection

Dads feeding their babies

Dads feeding their babies

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Fish was ungrateful.

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes Apparently 30% of owners let their pet sleep in their bed. I tried it and my goldfish died.

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes Apparently 30% of owners let their pet sleep in their bed. I tried it and my goldfish died.

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Just like I can play chess with my left hand.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Some people have trouble sleeping. But I can do it with my eyes closed.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Some people have trouble sleeping. But I can do it with my eyes closed.

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Deserves a raise

Found a plumber who works around the clock 10 11 12 8 4 7 6 5 3

Found a plumber who works around the clock 10 11 12 8 4 7 6 5 3

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Watt a positively charged switch!

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

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Don’t worry, I got this.

Home Depot: it'll cost an additional $150 for delivery My dad:

Home Depot: it'll cost an additional $150 for delivery My dad:

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Just a chill dad

Dad duties My dad waiting for my mom while she's shopping is a mood

Dad duties My dad waiting for my mom while she's shopping is a mood

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