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He can absolutely repeat that.

Help doctor, my wife is having a heart attack @DadSays Jokes Sorry, can you repeat that? That.

Help doctor, my wife is having a heart attack @DadSays Jokes Sorry, can you repeat that? That.

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Ghost joke

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits."

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits."

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This is true.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would come in 4th just so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would come in 4th just so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

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Going Green

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes You hear that Hulk has started recycling? He's really going green.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes You hear that Hulk has started recycling? He's really going green.

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I see hair.

My Friend Told me His Dad Sent him this to Prove that He has Hair

My Friend Told me His Dad Sent him this to Prove that He has Hair

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Every single time.

my kid: "I want a yogurt" me: *opens yogurt* my kid: "I don't want yogurt" me: Why are you the way that you are? sam amerman

my kid: "I want a yogurt" me: *opens yogurt* my kid: "I don't want yogurt" me: Why are you the way that you are? sam amerman

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Senior GPS

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I got myself a seniors' GPS. Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination... It also tells me why I wanted to go there.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I got myself a seniors' GPS. Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination... It also tells me why I wanted to go there.

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At least I’m trying

Dad Translate Dad I'm going to fix this quickly English I'm about to spend the entire day on this. It still might not work but leave me to it.

Dad Translate Dad I'm going to fix this quickly English I'm about to spend the entire day on this. It still might not work but leave me to it.

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Wisdom words

A lot of wisdom in that... Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

A lot of wisdom in that... Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

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No phones allowed at work

dadsaysjokes ♫ Bebo & the Good Time Boys Let the Fun B... When your boss keeps telling you to stop using your phone during work... CT 2017 WALKING DEAD NEW SE

dadsaysjokes ♫ Bebo & the Good Time Boys Let the Fun B... When your boss keeps telling you to stop using your phone during work... CT 2017 WALKING DEAD NEW SE

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This aged well

dadsaysjokes Dad Jokes Club This aged well

dadsaysjokes Dad Jokes Club This aged well

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License and registration, please

dadsaysjokes Dad Jokes Club Cop: license and registration, please Goose: *whispering* ask him Cop: *sigh* And a slice of bread

dadsaysjokes Dad Jokes Club Cop: license and registration, please Goose: *whispering* ask him Cop: *sigh* And a slice of bread

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Wooden Start

46 @DadSays Jokes > iMessage Today 10:31 I once bought a wooden car. Wooden engine, wooden doors, wooden wheels, wooden seats, put the wooden key in the wooden ignition. How did it drive? Wooden start.

46 @DadSays Jokes > iMessage Today 10:31 I once bought a wooden car. Wooden engine, wooden doors, wooden wheels, wooden seats, put the wooden key in the wooden ignition. How did it drive? Wooden start.

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Pet fish

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes I took my pet fish to the chip shop with me the other day. I asked the man behind the counter: "Do you do fish cakes?" He said: "Yep, we do." "Good," I said, holding up my pet. "Because it's his birthday tomorrow."

Dad Jokes ❤ @Dadsaysjokes I took my pet fish to the chip shop with me the other day. I asked the man behind the counter: "Do you do fish cakes?" He said: "Yep, we do." "Good," I said, holding up my pet. "Because it's his birthday tomorrow."

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Mucho

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Hispanic friends. It means a lot to them.

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Hispanic friends. It means a lot to them.

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You Herd Me

What do you mean, I'm too controlling? You herd me

What do you mean, I'm too controlling? You herd me

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