Harp Darp / Herp Derp - Images

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Having a special for today only THE AD SAID ONLY $1!! $1 Sundaes (+ tax) Stop being stupid and get me somebody who knows how to work right Sir, after tax, i need $1.11 please. Sir, it is $1 plus tax... which brings it to $1.11 What is "tax"? Is that supposed to be your tip?? Im NOT tipping you! No Sir, sales tax is how the government makes some money off our sales Obama said that I did not need to pay that anymore. Just 1ike health care How do some people make it through life?
Having a special for today only THE AD SAID ONLY $1!! $1 Sundaes (+ tax) Stop being stupid and get me somebody who knows how to work right Sir, after tax, i need $1.11 please. Sir, it is $1 plus tax... which brings it to $1.11 What is "tax"? Is that supposed to be your tip?? Im NOT tipping you! No Sir, sales tax is how the government makes some money off our sales Obama said that I did not need to pay that anymore. Just 1ike health care How do some people make it through life?

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

le me hangin out with friends when suddenly a wild quote appears it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again *le frien What are you talking about? Thats from Joe dirt *le me silence f the Lambs!!! Great Movie!!! ya bro whats silence of the lambs? I willeat your liver with some Eava beans and a nice chianti E-E-F-E-E-F-E-E
le me hangin out with friends when suddenly a wild quote appears it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again *le frien What are you talking about? Thats from Joe dirt *le me silence f the Lambs!!! Great Movie!!! ya bro whats silence of the lambs? I willeat your liver with some Eava beans and a nice chianti E-E-F-E-E-F-E-E

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Hello Police? I don't want to be a bother, but there's this homeless tent camp set up in the bushes near my house. I'm the block watch captain. Every day we see them bring stolen items in to the camp, and drug deals all day long There are used needles everywhere! Here are the plate numbers of the dealers cars It's been going on for months! We want them gone! Owner is wanted on warrant Plate #1 123 - ABC Plate # 321 - CBA Plate #3 213 - BAC Ass ciated to Drug Gangs Stolen car Well, I don't want to be a bother to you guys People, the police cannot be everywhere at once and do not have a magic crystal ball telling them where criminals are. The police rely on the public to tell them about suspicious activity and criminal behaviours. If you have something odd and out of place, call the police and tell them! It's not a b ther, it's our job!
Hello Police? I don't want to be a bother, but there's this homeless tent camp set up in the bushes near my house. I'm the block watch captain. Every day we see them bring stolen items in to the camp, and drug deals all day long There are used needles everywhere! Here are the plate numbers of the dealers cars It's been going on for months! We want them gone! Owner is wanted on warrant Plate #1 123 - ABC Plate # 321 - CBA Plate #3 213 - BAC Ass ciated to Drug Gangs Stolen car Well, I don't want to be a bother to you guys People, the police cannot be everywhere at once and do not have a magic crystal ball telling them where criminals are. The police rely on the public to tell them about suspicious activity and criminal behaviours. If you have something odd and out of place, call the police and tell them! It's not a b ther, it's our job!

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Hey, the other day I found a magazine in the recycle bin with Arabic words in it. Was it yours? Are you from Iraq? *Me an Iranian student working in the lab alone while the cleaning lady walks irn Yeah it was mine but I'm actually from Iran, not Iraq And it was in Farsi not Arabic. Why don't you guys stop killing Iran, Iraq. .. they are the same! Are you a muslim terrorist too? each other? No, They're not! And all of the muslims are not terrorists! That's a common misunderstanding Besides, I'm an athiest. So you are not from Al-Qaeda? of course I'm not! They are brutal killers! Do you even know what Al-Qaeda is? Well that's a relief! Yesterday after I saw the magazine I was so scared that I called 911. They came over and checked the r○om and said it was OK! Bitch! You keep talking and You're gonna have to call them again.
Hey, the other day I found a magazine in the recycle bin with Arabic words in it. Was it yours? Are you from Iraq? *Me an Iranian student working in the lab alone while the cleaning lady walks irn Yeah it was mine but I'm actually from Iran, not Iraq And it was in Farsi not Arabic. Why don't you guys stop killing Iran, Iraq. .. they are the same! Are you a muslim terrorist too? each other? No, They're not! And all of the muslims are not terrorists! That's a common misunderstanding Besides, I'm an athiest. So you are not from Al-Qaeda? of course I'm not! They are brutal killers! Do you even know what Al-Qaeda is? Well that's a relief! Yesterday after I saw the magazine I was so scared that I called 911. They came over and checked the r○om and said it was OK! Bitch! You keep talking and You're gonna have to call them again.

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

hey bro, derp.exe says it's in offline mode, and i have to restart it while connected to the internet to go online *le me and my little step bro I don't see the problem so what am i supposed to do? ん! What the hell do you do in school?
hey bro, derp.exe says it's in offline mode, and i have to restart it while connected to the internet to go online *le me and my little step bro I don't see the problem so what am i supposed to do? ん! What the hell do you do in school?

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

suddenly, le wild customer appears! le me, working at le derp coffee shop "CAN I BUY COFFEE HERE???" "Umm. yes..." "O ok, cause I didn't know if sold this kinda stuff in Canada. .." "Is it true you guys ride polar bears??2" 4 RAGEBUILDER.COM
suddenly, le wild customer appears! le me, working at le derp coffee shop "CAN I BUY COFFEE HERE???" "Umm. yes..." "O ok, cause I didn't know if sold this kinda stuff in Canada. .." "Is it true you guys ride polar bears??2" 4 RAGEBUILDER.COM

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

I go back to work the following day, where the majority of my co-workers are super supportive After studying abroad in Russia for 3 weeks, I come home to find out from my mom that my 13-year-old golden retreiver died from cancer 3 days before I got back. We proceed to have a long cry session together *one wild religious co- worker appears* What's the big deal? It's just a stupid f------ dog. Get over yourself. . . .Don't look at me like that! It doesn't evern matter; dogs don' t even have souls anyways YOU SHUT THE F--- UP RIGHT NOW, YOU INSENSTIVE LITTLE PRICK. I PICKED HIM OUT, I NAMED HIM, AND HE WAS WITH ME THROUGH A SHITTON OF TOUGH STUFF. IT F------ MATTERS
I go back to work the following day, where the majority of my co-workers are super supportive After studying abroad in Russia for 3 weeks, I come home to find out from my mom that my 13-year-old golden retreiver died from cancer 3 days before I got back. We proceed to have a long cry session together *one wild religious co- worker appears* What's the big deal? It's just a stupid f------ dog. Get over yourself. . . .Don't look at me like that! It doesn't evern matter; dogs don' t even have souls anyways YOU SHUT THE F--- UP RIGHT NOW, YOU INSENSTIVE LITTLE PRICK. I PICKED HIM OUT, I NAMED HIM, AND HE WAS WITH ME THROUGH A SHITTON OF TOUGH STUFF. IT F------ MATTERS

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

hello, how can i help you? i need to wire i'm sorry but s ome money here are the deets this is clearly a foreign lottery scam 터 these "transfer fees" and "taxes" that you want to wire overseas for the "lottery winnings" are just going to be kept by the scammer in addition, if you've given them personal information, they may attempt to use your identity to take out loans, credit cards, etc yeah, but how do you even know that this is for sure a scan? i really need the $8,000, 000 that i won maam, did you ever enter a lottery? no.. THEN YOU DIDNT F------ WIN HAVE A GREAT DAY
hello, how can i help you? i need to wire i'm sorry but s ome money here are the deets this is clearly a foreign lottery scam 터 these "transfer fees" and "taxes" that you want to wire overseas for the "lottery winnings" are just going to be kept by the scammer in addition, if you've given them personal information, they may attempt to use your identity to take out loans, credit cards, etc yeah, but how do you even know that this is for sure a scan? i really need the $8,000, 000 that i won maam, did you ever enter a lottery? no.. THEN YOU DIDNT F------ WIN HAVE A GREAT DAY

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Messing around in the kitchen when Jersey Shore pops up on the TV "Yea we're going to Italia, I'm not sure where it is but it's shaped like a boot" Ok I guess not everyone knows geography, fair enough. She accidently drives into another car and sends 2 people to the hospital, the only thing she says is "Sorry" casually This show cant possibly get any worse. No one is this stupid. Word for word quote: "There will always be a Jersey Shore. It will be in the dictionary" DOESN T ANY BODY ELSE NOTICE THIS? I FEEL LIKE I 'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!
Messing around in the kitchen when Jersey Shore pops up on the TV "Yea we're going to Italia, I'm not sure where it is but it's shaped like a boot" Ok I guess not everyone knows geography, fair enough. She accidently drives into another car and sends 2 people to the hospital, the only thing she says is "Sorry" casually This show cant possibly get any worse. No one is this stupid. Word for word quote: "There will always be a Jersey Shore. It will be in the dictionary" DOESN T ANY BODY ELSE NOTICE THIS? I FEEL LIKE I 'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Yo u ever think about how much it would suckha to be a bass player inmean? do vou a famous band me friend Well its just that no one ever cares about the bass player. Like Kiss you only ever hear about Gene Simmons
Yo u ever think about how much it would suckha to be a bass player inmean? do vou a famous band me friend Well its just that no one ever cares about the bass player. Like Kiss you only ever hear about Gene Simmons

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

*browsing reddit's front page. I come across a post that I find funny, and decide to share it with my derp gf.* This was the post: w a mrute . . Barack Obama urns 50 today? There are 50 Ras oror flag & ts Ramadan. Glen Beck help me out here, his seems shady about anhour ag0 Uke Comment now who else hed a brthday every year of his lfe.。.Hten about an hour ago . Urthe。eI 7 peccle in the background as she reads waiting to see her reaction." *i decide to call her over to read it. hey derpette! take a look at this! *her* this guy is stupid. there aren't 50 stars on the flag . . . "how many are there then. . .? "THIRTEEN ". . .I'M DATING AN IDIOT!" "OR QUITE POSSIBLY A TIME TRAVELER FROM THE COLONIAL DAYS!"
*browsing reddit's front page. I come across a post that I find funny, and decide to share it with my derp gf.* This was the post: w a mrute . . Barack Obama urns 50 today? There are 50 Ras oror flag & ts Ramadan. Glen Beck help me out here, his seems shady about anhour ag0 Uke Comment now who else hed a brthday every year of his lfe.。.Hten about an hour ago . Urthe。eI 7 peccle in the background as she reads waiting to see her reaction." *i decide to call her over to read it. hey derpette! take a look at this! *her* this guy is stupid. there aren't 50 stars on the flag . . . "how many are there then. . .? "THIRTEEN ". . .I'M DATING AN IDIOT!" "OR QUITE POSSIBLY A TIME TRAVELER FROM THE COLONIAL DAYS!"

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

"hey boss, i got a paper cut. do we need to do an incident report? *manager "yes, because if gets any worse than that, the company would need a record of it." * my coworker me TWO HOURS LATER ! lifting heavy boxes and placing them on high shelves "i drop 50 footlocker on my foot "wow, this is really starting to hurt. I should tell my manager, in case it's broken." LATER "hey, boss I know you said you wanted us to report ALL of our injuries, and I dropped this really heavy footlocker on my toe and its jammed and it's getting pretty swollen" "that's BS, derp. what a lazy attempt to get out of working. you're gonna need an ACTUAL emergency if you want me to write an incident report."
"hey boss, i got a paper cut. do we need to do an incident report? *manager "yes, because if gets any worse than that, the company would need a record of it." * my coworker me TWO HOURS LATER ! lifting heavy boxes and placing them on high shelves "i drop 50 footlocker on my foot "wow, this is really starting to hurt. I should tell my manager, in case it's broken." LATER "hey, boss I know you said you wanted us to report ALL of our injuries, and I dropped this really heavy footlocker on my toe and its jammed and it's getting pretty swollen" "that's BS, derp. what a lazy attempt to get out of working. you're gonna need an ACTUAL emergency if you want me to write an incident report."

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

A FEW MOMENTS LATER THE MEXT GENERATIOn *Me watching some TNG lone on a random afternoon.* "Oh. This is stupid. I Don't understand why anyone would watch this anyway?" *In walks my brother's gf "Cool! Star Wars " ...Star TREK actually." Bitch! Why the f--- would say that while I am enjoying the show that you just called stupid!? If you disrespect me or this show like that again, I'll get Michael Dorn in ful Worf costume to slaughter you with a Bat'leth! "Whatever. It's still stupid." "Qapla" STAH TREn THE NEXT GENERATIO "Holy sh-..."
A FEW MOMENTS LATER THE MEXT GENERATIOn *Me watching some TNG lone on a random afternoon.* "Oh. This is stupid. I Don't understand why anyone would watch this anyway?" *In walks my brother's gf "Cool! Star Wars " ...Star TREK actually." Bitch! Why the f--- would say that while I am enjoying the show that you just called stupid!? If you disrespect me or this show like that again, I'll get Michael Dorn in ful Worf costume to slaughter you with a Bat'leth! "Whatever. It's still stupid." "Qapla" STAH TREn THE NEXT GENERATIO "Holy sh-..."

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

*Talking to a theatre major about plans f r the future sounds tough, you'11 probobly have to take on some pretty s----- roles before you make it big so are you trying to get on broadway or what? That's smalltime man I'm gonna star in movies ...YOu think so? me well yea I imagine every popular actor has had to do that like a retard or a gay. .. .Or a black guy w/e I'd act in anything.. .besides roles that would keep me typcasted as one type of character WHAT?!
*Talking to a theatre major about plans f r the future sounds tough, you'11 probobly have to take on some pretty s----- roles before you make it big so are you trying to get on broadway or what? That's smalltime man I'm gonna star in movies ...YOu think so? me well yea I imagine every popular actor has had to do that like a retard or a gay. .. .Or a black guy w/e I'd act in anything.. .besides roles that would keep me typcasted as one type of character WHAT?!

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Hey guys, did you know that if you turn your 3D glasses upside down the screen goes upside down too? Brother, Mother, and I at a 3D Movie FFFTTTCHH CHHPFFF POKER FACE CHHTPE MY FAMILY IS RE TARDED
Hey guys, did you know that if you turn your 3D glasses upside down the screen goes upside down too? Brother, Mother, and I at a 3D Movie FFFTTTCHH CHHPFFF POKER FACE CHHTPE MY FAMILY IS RE TARDED

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Le Me at 2nd interview My competition for the job "You might as well go home, bro. My dad knows the owner personally." Receptionist Mr. Derpson, Mr Baus is ready to see you now. Come this way Me RECEPTION Okay Me: I got this "Nice ou agai Lote begin e:"Indeed Me: A FEW MOMENTS LATER Stomach Problem? Small intestine Losing Control. Critical Mass reached Relieving presSure silently, when suddenly. . . Must hold it together! Me 1 his office. Mr. Baus: "Thank you Mr. Derpson. We will let you know of our decision shortly." eaving BAD Thank you for your time." As my douchebag competion from the waiting room walks in Mr. Baus think:s this douchebag just released the kraken in his office. I ended up getting the job ( True Story
Le Me at 2nd interview My competition for the job "You might as well go home, bro. My dad knows the owner personally." Receptionist Mr. Derpson, Mr Baus is ready to see you now. Come this way Me RECEPTION Okay Me: I got this "Nice ou agai Lote begin e:"Indeed Me: A FEW MOMENTS LATER Stomach Problem? Small intestine Losing Control. Critical Mass reached Relieving presSure silently, when suddenly. . . Must hold it together! Me 1 his office. Mr. Baus: "Thank you Mr. Derpson. We will let you know of our decision shortly." eaving BAD Thank you for your time." As my douchebag competion from the waiting room walks in Mr. Baus think:s this douchebag just released the kraken in his office. I ended up getting the job ( True Story

Harp Darp / Herp Derp