Harp Darp / Herp Derp - Images

Sorted By:

Shopping for food like an underpaid laborer When suddenly, a rare beauty is spotted smelling flowers I must say I have not seen anything quite as breathtaking Oh I know, these flowers are gorgeous! I was not talking about the flowers, Miss. Hey ass, why you be hitting on my girl? You want to f--- her or something? Actually, I was just complimenting this young woman because I thought she might like to hear it. Have you told her how pretty she is today? *A wild douche appears ..PIIC.. . chyea l have. all the time... what of it Well do you say that just to f--- her or do you say because it just is? punk? Continue shopping like an underpaid laborer Dude, you are f------ stupid. C'mon babe, lets bounce Chivalry is not f------ dead, I am keeping it on life suppwort
Shopping for food like an underpaid laborer When suddenly, a rare beauty is spotted smelling flowers I must say I have not seen anything quite as breathtaking Oh I know, these flowers are gorgeous! I was not talking about the flowers, Miss. Hey ass, why you be hitting on my girl? You want to f--- her or something? Actually, I was just complimenting this young woman because I thought she might like to hear it. Have you told her how pretty she is today? *A wild douche appears ..PIIC.. . chyea l have. all the time... what of it Well do you say that just to f--- her or do you say because it just is? punk? Continue shopping like an underpaid laborer Dude, you are f------ stupid. C'mon babe, lets bounce Chivalry is not f------ dead, I am keeping it on life suppwort

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

*me and le girlfriend at le Pizza Hut Hi! Welcome to Pizza Hut! What would you like to order? *le female cashier Hi Can I get the cheese pizza and breadsticks combo? Would you like breadsticks with that? Would you like to add a medium drink and just make it a combo? Um...yes. Okay. And what will you have, Mam? Sure, why not:? I'1l also have the pizza, breadsticks, and medium drink. Would you like to just make that a combo? · ) / Story
*me and le girlfriend at le Pizza Hut Hi! Welcome to Pizza Hut! What would you like to order? *le female cashier Hi Can I get the cheese pizza and breadsticks combo? Would you like breadsticks with that? Would you like to add a medium drink and just make it a combo? Um...yes. Okay. And what will you have, Mam? Sure, why not:? I'1l also have the pizza, breadsticks, and medium drink. Would you like to just make that a combo? · ) / Story

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

parents gone for the day! should probably get a shower, but first. . . ALL THE PORNEVER!!! haven't had time to knock myself in forever! *knock* *knock* *knock* *knock* someone' s here? must nvestigate... FAP hi, i'm from derps to spray for bugs.. . . . .want me t start now? right. le sudden realization that i'm only wearing a towel okay? THIS IS ANKWARDLY SIMILAR TO THE PLOT OF THAT P----
parents gone for the day! should probably get a shower, but first. . . ALL THE PORNEVER!!! haven't had time to knock myself in forever! *knock* *knock* *knock* *knock* someone' s here? must nvestigate... FAP hi, i'm from derps to spray for bugs.. . . . .want me t start now? right. le sudden realization that i'm only wearing a towel okay? THIS IS ANKWARDLY SIMILAR TO THE PLOT OF THAT P----

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

a woman comes through the D.T. i politely greet her, and ask her how ahe's doing. she ignores me. i notice she is staring at our "pedestrian crossing" sign* me working at mcdonald's. i've worked their drive- thru for three years, and i actually love it. the customers are usually cooperative and great!* okay, you're all set ma 'am! have a wonderful day! me can you believe that "pedestrian crossing" sign has mexican written on it? this is america, for christ's sake. you know what i mean? you know aomething i just can't believe you guys have mexican written on your sign. we're in america! um, exuse me ma 'am? First of all, "mexican" isn't a language. Second of all, get the f--- out of my drive-thru you ignorant s---.
a woman comes through the D.T. i politely greet her, and ask her how ahe's doing. she ignores me. i notice she is staring at our "pedestrian crossing" sign* me working at mcdonald's. i've worked their drive- thru for three years, and i actually love it. the customers are usually cooperative and great!* okay, you're all set ma 'am! have a wonderful day! me can you believe that "pedestrian crossing" sign has mexican written on it? this is america, for christ's sake. you know what i mean? you know aomething i just can't believe you guys have mexican written on your sign. we're in america! um, exuse me ma 'am? First of all, "mexican" isn't a language. Second of all, get the f--- out of my drive-thru you ignorant s---.

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Don't you ever miss burgers, being a vegetarian and all? Well its been almost 5 years now, I'm used to it by now ME Wait, can you eat potatoes?
Don't you ever miss burgers, being a vegetarian and all? Well its been almost 5 years now, I'm used to it by now ME Wait, can you eat potatoes?

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

*watching a movie Trlend has seen but i haven't "You're gonna Love this one!" friehd *me "Oh man, this next scene is great too. Just watch!" "The next part 1s really funny!" "Get ready, this part is going t。be so sad" "Best scene coming up next!! !" "Is the next scene worth mentioning too?" try not to talk during the movie
*watching a movie Trlend has seen but i haven't "You're gonna Love this one!" friehd *me "Oh man, this next scene is great too. Just watch!" "The next part 1s really funny!" "Get ready, this part is going t。be so sad" "Best scene coming up next!! !" "Is the next scene worth mentioning too?" try not to talk during the movie

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

e 11stening to ck & roll on a park ench TWELVE SECONDS LATER Random stranger Me: Sure, use this ear bud "Hey bro can I listen?" d 回 im: Hey man what the ell is this garbage? Me: Dude, it's Jimi Hendrix, one of the greatest guitar players of all time Him: Never heard of him. Don't y。u |Me: Sure, how have any current music? im: this sucks about Breaking Benjamin? They're pretty good Me: Hmm, how about Foo Fighters? Dave Gr hl used to be in Nirvana in: Nah br they have n talent only good rock band is ickleback. Don't you have any rap? and can play guitar like a boss. : Dave Gr can pLay erentHim: Whatever rock and pop are the instuments, Nickleback is pop, same thing anyway and you're just rock, and rap isn't even musicjealous because you can't rap. Me: Rap uses no instruments or singing. It doesn't take talent tolsa tan you f----- . be pushed by a record company, have someone write lyrics for you, and have someone else computer gernerate a beat... Him: Whatever go back to worshiping RAGE BUILDER.COM
e 11stening to ck & roll on a park ench TWELVE SECONDS LATER Random stranger Me: Sure, use this ear bud "Hey bro can I listen?" d 回 im: Hey man what the ell is this garbage? Me: Dude, it's Jimi Hendrix, one of the greatest guitar players of all time Him: Never heard of him. Don't y。u |Me: Sure, how have any current music? im: this sucks about Breaking Benjamin? They're pretty good Me: Hmm, how about Foo Fighters? Dave Gr hl used to be in Nirvana in: Nah br they have n talent only good rock band is ickleback. Don't you have any rap? and can play guitar like a boss. : Dave Gr can pLay erentHim: Whatever rock and pop are the instuments, Nickleback is pop, same thing anyway and you're just rock, and rap isn't even musicjealous because you can't rap. Me: Rap uses no instruments or singing. It doesn't take talent tolsa tan you f----- . be pushed by a record company, have someone write lyrics for you, and have someone else computer gernerate a beat... Him: Whatever go back to worshiping RAGE BUILDER.COM

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

At a party chatting in French with some Belgian girls... A surfer friend walkss up and says hi 卜 *me, a Mexican student in Australia hey what's up, my name is - WAIT. WHAT? I didn't know Belgians could speak Mexican, is that also in South America? Anyway...What do you guys think about my new Southern Cross Tattoo? *ripped Story
At a party chatting in French with some Belgian girls... A surfer friend walkss up and says hi 卜 *me, a Mexican student in Australia hey what's up, my name is - WAIT. WHAT? I didn't know Belgians could speak Mexican, is that also in South America? Anyway...What do you guys think about my new Southern Cross Tattoo? *ripped Story

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Waiting in the lobby at the tanning salon for my GF As I listen to their banter, they start talking about seatbelts for s ome reasOn Salon employees "The only reason I wear my seatbelt is because otherwise my car goes, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!'" me, playing on my phone "If it's like a hot day, I just wrap the seatbelt around myself. I don't want to get a tan line." 1. You work in a tanning salon. You can always tan more. You're going to be fine 2. Cars have tinted windows Unless you only drive around at noon with your sun roof open, you 're going to be fine .Xou "wrap it around yourself? What are you,9 Ihope Lea that means you at st put the belt strap on, otherwise d better tart worzying about lacerations ruining your tan line when you fly out the windshield.
Waiting in the lobby at the tanning salon for my GF As I listen to their banter, they start talking about seatbelts for s ome reasOn Salon employees "The only reason I wear my seatbelt is because otherwise my car goes, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!'" me, playing on my phone "If it's like a hot day, I just wrap the seatbelt around myself. I don't want to get a tan line." 1. You work in a tanning salon. You can always tan more. You're going to be fine 2. Cars have tinted windows Unless you only drive around at noon with your sun roof open, you 're going to be fine .Xou "wrap it around yourself? What are you,9 Ihope Lea that means you at st put the belt strap on, otherwise d better tart worzying about lacerations ruining your tan line when you fly out the windshield.

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

*when suddenly friends and i watching jersey shore le me yo if she stil1 plays laser tag, she 's too young for you bro 卜 s. NO NO NO You are NEVER too old for laser tag
*when suddenly friends and i watching jersey shore le me yo if she stil1 plays laser tag, she 's too young for you bro 卜 s. NO NO NO You are NEVER too old for laser tag

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Cousin and I, watching Frozen Wolf scene appears! me Wolves are predatory creatures. Yes. Especially Hey. . do wolves really eat people in real life? I know they do in movies, but bleeding out. like, in real life? if food is scarce. Probably more likely if you 're lying on the ground, helpless, and But wolves are shy and always stay away from people. They're, like, scared of you, right? So they won't attack.
Cousin and I, watching Frozen Wolf scene appears! me Wolves are predatory creatures. Yes. Especially Hey. . do wolves really eat people in real life? I know they do in movies, but bleeding out. like, in real life? if food is scarce. Probably more likely if you 're lying on the ground, helpless, and But wolves are shy and always stay away from people. They're, like, scared of you, right? So they won't attack.

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

*le me, sporting a new, poorly- drawn, moustache/sideburn combo my lady friend is gone tor the month, so I'm free experiment with facial hair... and loving it Suddenly, a wild co-worker appears. . "Haha, looks like vou' re trying to grow a Hitler stache or something." "Hey, nice moustache." IT "Thanks." *le co-worker TRY AGAIN
*le me, sporting a new, poorly- drawn, moustache/sideburn combo my lady friend is gone tor the month, so I'm free experiment with facial hair... and loving it Suddenly, a wild co-worker appears. . "Haha, looks like vou' re trying to grow a Hitler stache or something." "Hey, nice moustache." IT "Thanks." *le co-worker TRY AGAIN

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

SeveralWeeks Later Sure, you can borrow my G.I. Joe:s I like setting them up in huge battles and it's fun to play along with the cartoon too I hope you'11 have fun like I do and we can play with them next week when you come Hey, Can you bring my G.I Joes back this weekend? We can play with them together and I recorded this Uh, my brother threw them against the wall and broke them all, uh, sorry wow, thanks! weeks' cartoo 11 year old me ass I tried to be friends withh YOU Mhat?!? Well, I'm pretty good at fixing the broken figures and I have glue so I can fix Uhh, I just threw them al1l out, they were all like broken and stuff. I gotta go, bye the vehicleaitkenand stutf. HAVE you bring the pieces over YOU DONE? I still hate you, Mark.
SeveralWeeks Later Sure, you can borrow my G.I. Joe:s I like setting them up in huge battles and it's fun to play along with the cartoon too I hope you'11 have fun like I do and we can play with them next week when you come Hey, Can you bring my G.I Joes back this weekend? We can play with them together and I recorded this Uh, my brother threw them against the wall and broke them all, uh, sorry wow, thanks! weeks' cartoo 11 year old me ass I tried to be friends withh YOU Mhat?!? Well, I'm pretty good at fixing the broken figures and I have glue so I can fix Uhh, I just threw them al1l out, they were all like broken and stuff. I gotta go, bye the vehicleaitkenand stutf. HAVE you bring the pieces over YOU DONE? I still hate you, Mark.

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

*Me, a computer tech, derpin, repairin computers. Suddenly a wild customer calls. Yeah, uh, I need oK sir, pickup oK it's real Hello, this is a pickup cuz I derp, how can had a lectrical |what is your I help you? is free, so surge and infections and such easy just turn Left at the y past the cracker barrel and make a uturn... address? -Actually sir, I have a GPS so if you could. . -I'm tellin ya it's simple, now, after the uturn you go three miles past the big tree. . . . . .then turn Left at my cousin Jeffy's, and bank sliiiightly right at the dead OK. Would you K. .. turn mind repeatingleft at the mhmm. . . .alri ght....mhmm . .got it....right. .horse and then make another uturnthat? I just and head past the found my pen bridge and you , y. . .past the cracker barrel...make a uturn 'rethere. Blah blah blah Then go past blah and you're your dead there. Get it cousin's... that time? 3201 Maplecreek Drive! I think so. (Recitee everything back wrong) I WILL DO THIS EVERY F------ TIME YOU DON'T UST GIVE ME YOUR F------ ADDRESS.
*Me, a computer tech, derpin, repairin computers. Suddenly a wild customer calls. Yeah, uh, I need oK sir, pickup oK it's real Hello, this is a pickup cuz I derp, how can had a lectrical |what is your I help you? is free, so surge and infections and such easy just turn Left at the y past the cracker barrel and make a uturn... address? -Actually sir, I have a GPS so if you could. . -I'm tellin ya it's simple, now, after the uturn you go three miles past the big tree. . . . . .then turn Left at my cousin Jeffy's, and bank sliiiightly right at the dead OK. Would you K. .. turn mind repeatingleft at the mhmm. . . .alri ght....mhmm . .got it....right. .horse and then make another uturnthat? I just and head past the found my pen bridge and you , y. . .past the cracker barrel...make a uturn 'rethere. Blah blah blah Then go past blah and you're your dead there. Get it cousin's... that time? 3201 Maplecreek Drive! I think so. (Recitee everything back wrong) I WILL DO THIS EVERY F------ TIME YOU DON'T UST GIVE ME YOUR F------ ADDRESS.

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Me. minding my own business, walking down the street when... . Random stranger "Yo bro, do you work alone?" "Uh. .what?" "Do you pick up chicks by yo self?" "Yaaa man. You just like exude that energy that the ladies all dig?" Sure. . - "Ha. Okay bro. Bye." "Yes. Yes I do. That is exactly what happens." Actually, I'm a raginga homosexual!
Me. minding my own business, walking down the street when... . Random stranger "Yo bro, do you work alone?" "Uh. .what?" "Do you pick up chicks by yo self?" "Yaaa man. You just like exude that energy that the ladies all dig?" Sure. . - "Ha. Okay bro. Bye." "Yes. Yes I do. That is exactly what happens." Actually, I'm a raginga homosexual!

Harp Darp / Herp Derp

Watching "Who's the father" Maury episode Hey, why don't they ever do "whos the mother?" oh, right
Watching "Who's the father" Maury episode Hey, why don't they ever do "whos the mother?" oh, right

Harp Darp / Herp Derp