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And That's Final

amb @ @AmberSevart I got an "I emailed you 3 days ago" message this morning. Friday afternoon at 4:47 this person emailed me. They followed up at 8:15 this morning. 28 minutes. They emailed me 28 working minutes ago. Bye.

amb @ @AmberSevart I got an "I emailed you 3 days ago" message this morning. Friday afternoon at 4:47 this person emailed me. They followed up at 8:15 this morning. 28 minutes. They emailed me 28 working minutes ago. Bye.

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Wait, She Isn't?

yamini nambimadom @showmetheyamz when i was a kid i didn't realize that the song "i saw mommy kissing santa claus" meant that daddy was santa claus. i was like "holy s ... mommy's an adulterer"

yamini nambimadom @showmetheyamz when i was a kid i didn't realize that the song "i saw mommy kissing santa claus" meant that daddy was santa claus. i was like "holy s ... mommy's an adulterer"

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Why go Anywhere Else

Mallory Tisdale. @prinxsass How do people stay in the house ALL day? Westbank Trey @Trey VsTrumaine All my stuff is there and I don't like people.

Mallory Tisdale. @prinxsass How do people stay in the house ALL day? Westbank Trey @Trey VsTrumaine All my stuff is there and I don't like people.

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Whoops

Dan Wilbur @DanWilbur 8 years ago, I made an appointment at my dentist and under "what do you wish to be called?" I wrote "The Chosen One" and forgot about it. Today, I overheard the receptionist say: "Please let the doctor know The Chosen One is here." They've been using it this whole time. 12:29 AM Apr 25, 2018 Twitter for iPhone

Dan Wilbur @DanWilbur 8 years ago, I made an appointment at my dentist and under "what do you wish to be called?" I wrote "The Chosen One" and forgot about it. Today, I overheard the receptionist say: "Please let the doctor know The Chosen One is here." They've been using it this whole time. 12:29 AM Apr 25, 2018 Twitter for iPhone

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Kinda Weird

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The Daily Experience

Emily Murnane @emily_murnane What's the word for when you're fine but also so full of sadness and ache that u feel like you might explode but you're okay enough to show up for work but also you're dying?

Emily Murnane @emily_murnane What's the word for when you're fine but also so full of sadness and ache that u feel like you might explode but you're okay enough to show up for work but also you're dying?

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Dang

Forest @forestvanslyke I've never read so fast. #ADHD Attention neurodivergent community - this bionic reading method is absolutely mind blowing. Your eyes scan the first bold letters and your brain center automatically completes the words. It lets you read twice as fast, is less overwhelming and helps you to stay focused. You will feel much more productive and a greater sense of achievement which will boost your confidence and makes you overall feel more positive. Let me know in the comments if this bionic reading method works for you. 3:37 AM 24 Feb 23

Forest @forestvanslyke I've never read so fast. #ADHD Attention neurodivergent community - this bionic reading method is absolutely mind blowing. Your eyes scan the first bold letters and your brain center automatically completes the words. It lets you read twice as fast, is less overwhelming and helps you to stay focused. You will feel much more productive and a greater sense of achievement which will boost your confidence and makes you overall feel more positive. Let me know in the comments if this bionic reading method works for you. 3:37 AM 24 Feb 23

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Overnight is Pushing it

caitie delaney @caitiedelaney How long will you guys leave out a glass of water in your house and still drink it. It's not like it goes bad. But after a while it's weird right 1:13 AM 11 Jan 22 Twitter for iPhone :

caitie delaney @caitiedelaney How long will you guys leave out a glass of water in your house and still drink it. It's not like it goes bad. But after a while it's weird right 1:13 AM 11 Jan 22 Twitter for iPhone :

relatable memes twitter

Sigh

((( Babe! Its been 7 minutes, time for your 4 ads! Yes honey

((( Babe! Its been 7 minutes, time for your 4 ads! Yes honey

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A True Villain

Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein losing my mind, just offered the aisle seat to the guy sitting between me and my gf on a flight, and he said he'd rather stay in the middle seat between us 10:09 PM 12/7/22 Twitter for iPhone . 1,359 Retweets 741 Quote Tweets 63.3K Likes

Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein losing my mind, just offered the aisle seat to the guy sitting between me and my gf on a flight, and he said he'd rather stay in the middle seat between us 10:09 PM 12/7/22 Twitter for iPhone . 1,359 Retweets 741 Quote Tweets 63.3K Likes

relatable memes twitter flying

For Real Though

I still can't believe that the entire Mr Bean only consisted of 15 episodes. As a child you'd swear you'd seen 10 seasons of this show

I still can't believe that the entire Mr Bean only consisted of 15 episodes. As a child you'd swear you'd seen 10 seasons of this show

relatable memes mr bean tv

The Truth Of The Matter

People who treat their birthday as a normal day think they're more matured than everyone We are just miserable, leave us alone.

People who treat their birthday as a normal day think they're more matured than everyone We are just miserable, leave us alone.

Hard To Break It To Him

Me. 2 days ago . ✔ Me staring at the "I'm sorry, I know I'm annoying and ugly from the guy that is in fact annoying and ugly X text

Me. 2 days ago . ✔ Me staring at the "I'm sorry, I know I'm annoying and ugly from the guy that is in fact annoying and ugly X text

Early Riser

When I ask someone to wake me up early in the morning and they actually do it

When I ask someone to wake me up early in the morning and they actually do it

Deep Philosophical Questions

300 BC-"Why do we want to be a good person?" 1100- "Why do we desire the truth?" 1700- "Why do objects fall to Earth?" 2019 - Chirpy @Chirpy89605714 @avalid username Why does ha make hot but hoo make cold? I'm talking about mouth wind

300 BC-"Why do we want to be a good person?" 1100- "Why do we desire the truth?" 1700- "Why do objects fall to Earth?" 2019 - Chirpy @Chirpy89605714 @avalid username Why does ha make hot but hoo make cold? I'm talking about mouth wind

The Little Man In The Phone

mgflip.com YOUR CALL IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US PLEASE ENJOY THIS 40 MINUTE FLUTE SOLO

mgflip.com YOUR CALL IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US PLEASE ENJOY THIS 40 MINUTE FLUTE SOLO