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Didn't Know My Brain Could Do That

Jonathan Louis Dent @jonathanldent you ever wake up from your dreams impressed? like da phenomenal that narrative structure was 3:09 pm 10/07/2021 from Queens, NY. Twitter for iPhone 9,359 Retweets 848 Quote Tweets 52.6K Likes

Jonathan Louis Dent @jonathanldent you ever wake up from your dreams impressed? like da phenomenal that narrative structure was 3:09 pm 10/07/2021 from Queens, NY. Twitter for iPhone 9,359 Retweets 848 Quote Tweets 52.6K Likes

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Please Specify

*Incorrect username or password* Me: WHICH ONE IS IT THOUGH?!

*Incorrect username or password* Me: WHICH ONE IS IT THOUGH?!

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She's Just Lonely

LIBRARY BOOK RETURN DROP BOX IS BROKEN! Please visit Cathy inside to return books UPDATE! Drop box is NOT BROKEN! Cathy is just super lonely and wants to talk to you about her nine ferrets (

LIBRARY BOOK RETURN DROP BOX IS BROKEN! Please visit Cathy inside to return books UPDATE! Drop box is NOT BROKEN! Cathy is just super lonely and wants to talk to you about her nine ferrets (

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It's That Simple

EATLIVER.COM G Buddha, what makes us human? Selecting all images with traffic lights.

EATLIVER.COM G Buddha, what makes us human? Selecting all images with traffic lights.

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Well You See...

abrish @cxrnerrstone Follow oh ur a people pleaser? name 3 people that are pleased with you 7:29 PM 01/02/2024 From Earth 60K Views 474 Reposts 300 Quotes

abrish @cxrnerrstone Follow oh ur a people pleaser? name 3 people that are pleased with you 7:29 PM 01/02/2024 From Earth 60K Views 474 Reposts 300 Quotes

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There is Nothing More Annoying I Swear

AB NETI I autofilled the movie name you were searching for That must mean you have the movie, right? Right?

AB NETI I autofilled the movie name you were searching for That must mean you have the movie, right? Right?

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Too Old

LET'S NOT theletsnotdate DATE How old were you when you realized you're just supposed to say "Good. How are you?" when people ask how you are in passing?

LET'S NOT theletsnotdate DATE How old were you when you realized you're just supposed to say "Good. How are you?" when people ask how you are in passing?

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Can't Be Seen

Me waiting for my neighbor to go inside so I can take out the trash

Me waiting for my neighbor to go inside so I can take out the trash

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Shower Time Blues

Wow, today was great... 11 B @illuminusnumb La lala lala lalaa... Hmm, m I wish I was never born...

Wow, today was great... 11 B @illuminusnumb La lala lala lalaa... Hmm, m I wish I was never born...

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So True

meg @HashtagMeg_ Men's deodorant is superior. There I said it. I'd rather smell like icy fr boy than lavender armpit sweat because women's deodorant doesn't last more than 15 minutes

meg @HashtagMeg_ Men's deodorant is superior. There I said it. I'd rather smell like icy fr boy than lavender armpit sweat because women's deodorant doesn't last more than 15 minutes

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Won't Be Doing That!

Ryan Dalton @iRyanDalton Me: "Hey, I like this desk. I wonder how much it is." Website: "Call us for pricing." Me: "You're dead to me."

Ryan Dalton @iRyanDalton Me: "Hey, I like this desk. I wonder how much it is." Website: "Call us for pricing." Me: "You're dead to me."

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An Upsetting Realization

..studies show that teenagers today.... Oh he said teenagers I'm a teenager A No wait, I'm 35

..studies show that teenagers today.... Oh he said teenagers I'm a teenager A No wait, I'm 35

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Thinking About It...

This is called the "I might make another sandwich... I might not."

This is called the "I might make another sandwich... I might not."

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I'll Get 'em Next Time

program: isn't responding me: opens task manager program: starts working again me: that's what i thought you little s 7:38 PM - May 26, 2017 - Twitter for iPhone

program: isn't responding me: opens task manager program: starts working again me: that's what i thought you little s 7:38 PM - May 26, 2017 - Twitter for iPhone

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Nearly There...

Yesterday I explained something so bleak to my therapist she asked me if we could pause for a minute so she could think about it. I'm getting close to winning therapy I can feel it in my bones.

Yesterday I explained something so bleak to my therapist she asked me if we could pause for a minute so she could think about it. I'm getting close to winning therapy I can feel it in my bones.

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Quick Break

trash jones @jzux i'm taking a break from dating right now to focus on being scared i'll never meet someone

trash jones @jzux i'm taking a break from dating right now to focus on being scared i'll never meet someone

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Slightly Ironic

Simon Holland @simoncholland CATCH THE D BALL I yell at professional world class athletes while I accidentally drip cheese dip on my shirt.

Simon Holland @simoncholland CATCH THE D BALL I yell at professional world class athletes while I accidentally drip cheese dip on my shirt.

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No

Stop giving me your toughest battles Literally just fold the laundry. You already washed and dried it, just fold it and put it away

Stop giving me your toughest battles Literally just fold the laundry. You already washed and dried it, just fold it and put it away

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Don't Worry About It...

dan mentos @DanMentos me: any historical figure? wizard: that's right [later at dinner] Beethoven: you seem disappointed me: *hiding dog treats* it's fine 12:20 PM 11/18/17 Twitter for iPhone . 37.4K Retweets 147K Likes

dan mentos @DanMentos me: any historical figure? wizard: that's right [later at dinner] Beethoven: you seem disappointed me: *hiding dog treats* it's fine 12:20 PM 11/18/17 Twitter for iPhone . 37.4K Retweets 147K Likes

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Same

POP Pop Crave @PopCrave Feb 16 CRAVE Dakota Johnson on her relationship with her Madam Web co-stars: "It was so fun having them around. The three of them really bonded and then there was me." JAN

POP Pop Crave @PopCrave Feb 16 CRAVE Dakota Johnson on her relationship with her Madam Web co-stars: "It was so fun having them around. The three of them really bonded and then there was me." JAN

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