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That's Not Lazy

naledi @naledimashishi I'm tired of people saying "here's my go to lazy meal" and then they start chopping an onion

naledi @naledimashishi I'm tired of people saying "here's my go to lazy meal" and then they start chopping an onion

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Today's Not the Day

SentientBunnySuit @SuitSentient You ever feel like, "I am not wasting my favorite T-shirt on today."

SentientBunnySuit @SuitSentient You ever feel like, "I am not wasting my favorite T-shirt on today."

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You Sure About That

'He's gonna break some hearts when he's older The baby: **** Â 7

'He's gonna break some hearts when he's older The baby: **** Â 7

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Good for Something

He insisted on following me to the bathroom so I made him useful at least

He insisted on following me to the bathroom so I made him useful at least

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I'd Be Sad Too

Jesus the French flag for some reason Crying girl noblepeasant Follow Jesus punishes a sinner by making her French.

Jesus the French flag for some reason Crying girl noblepeasant Follow Jesus punishes a sinner by making her French.

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Onto Something...

looking at old notes in my phone; I was onto something here < Notes animals that are named for what they do woodpecker anteater fly killer whale @

looking at old notes in my phone; I was onto something here < Notes animals that are named for what they do woodpecker anteater fly killer whale @

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Sounds About Right

"Why does my stomach hurt so much" Their breakfast: Che

"Why does my stomach hurt so much" Their breakfast: Che

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For Real

getting bored of 69 and 420. they should release new funny numbers 23K Retweets 3,610 Quote Tweets 388K Likes ...

getting bored of 69 and 420. they should release new funny numbers 23K Retweets 3,610 Quote Tweets 388K Likes ...

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No

The Random Recruiter @randomrecruiter What do you mean you don't want to work onsite? You don't enjoy working in fast-paced environments such as this?

The Random Recruiter @randomrecruiter What do you mean you don't want to work onsite? You don't enjoy working in fast-paced environments such as this?

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Not Fair

My teeth Teeth of a mf that lived 10000 years ago

My teeth Teeth of a mf that lived 10000 years ago

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It Be Like That

Replied to your story Hii Cool hair Srry i literally don't know how to talk to women Best of luck w everything hey tyyy

Replied to your story Hii Cool hair Srry i literally don't know how to talk to women Best of luck w everything hey tyyy

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Ha Ha...

When you feel guilty for not working but you're still not working G

When you feel guilty for not working but you're still not working G

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Life Hack

maggie lalley @magslals Thread I photoshopped my bank statements and paystubs to get my one bedroom apartment in nyc. You wanna live alone? Get adobe. 7:33 AM - 2/1/23 - 8.8M Views

maggie lalley @magslals Thread I photoshopped my bank statements and paystubs to get my one bedroom apartment in nyc. You wanna live alone? Get adobe. 7:33 AM - 2/1/23 - 8.8M Views

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Pretty Much

Sophia Benoit ✪ @1followernodad Top Movies Your Boyfriend Wants to Watch: -An Idiot Saves the President -Rich Boy Hero 4 -Silent Hero Journey Boy -Fight Fight Fight -Boats 3/22/15, 7:22 PM <

Sophia Benoit ✪ @1followernodad Top Movies Your Boyfriend Wants to Watch: -An Idiot Saves the President -Rich Boy Hero 4 -Silent Hero Journey Boy -Fight Fight Fight -Boats 3/22/15, 7:22 PM <

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I'm Just Curious

amil @amil I just think everyone should have one-time, limited access to a list of anyone whose ever had a crush on you

amil @amil I just think everyone should have one-time, limited access to a list of anyone whose ever had a crush on you

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Sounds Like a Great Time

Simon Holland @simoncholland ... Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.

Simon Holland @simoncholland ... Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.

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So Good

If they sold this in theaters instead of popcorn I'd be happy

If they sold this in theaters instead of popcorn I'd be happy

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Uh Oh

Elvish Presley @_elvishpresley_ judge: do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth me: no judge: [covers mic] what do I do

Elvish Presley @_elvishpresley_ judge: do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth me: no judge: [covers mic] what do I do

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Only Two

mike @ristolable What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts.

mike @ristolable What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts.

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Take That

Ron Iver @ronnui The idea of alpha males is so funny bc guys really made up an upper class and then put themselves in it. Ok if you're an alpha male then I'm a turbo dude. That's one level higher. You wouldn't understand bc you're just an alpha, sorry. 1:15 PM - Oct 7, 2022 Twitter for Android

Ron Iver @ronnui The idea of alpha males is so funny bc guys really made up an upper class and then put themselves in it. Ok if you're an alpha male then I'm a turbo dude. That's one level higher. You wouldn't understand bc you're just an alpha, sorry. 1:15 PM - Oct 7, 2022 Twitter for Android

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