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Mike Is a Good Man

S.LIZ @slizagna every time I write an email I think: "you need to be professional. no smiley faces. no exclamation points. use big, smart words. you are so so brave" and then I'll get a reply from some 60 year old VP named Mike that's like, "thx. have a gr8 wknd! Get Outlook for iOS"

S.LIZ @slizagna every time I write an email I think: "you need to be professional. no smiley faces. no exclamation points. use big, smart words. you are so so brave" and then I'll get a reply from some 60 year old VP named Mike that's like, "thx. have a gr8 wknd! Get Outlook for iOS"

Assembly Not Required

*How lazy are you?* Me: -8:18 I figured out you don't actually have to assemble these things Daniel HAINAN E26 JoquinN Accent Table

*How lazy are you?* Me: -8:18 I figured out you don't actually have to assemble these things Daniel HAINAN E26 JoquinN Accent Table

Validation

Iva Dixit @ivadixit I'm just remembering that my second year in America, someone asked me to "validate their parking," which was my first time hearing the phrase, and after blinking stupidly in silence for a full five seconds I said "Well parking is really hard but I'm sure you did it really well" 10:26 PM 14 Oct 21 Twitter for iPhone :

Iva Dixit @ivadixit I'm just remembering that my second year in America, someone asked me to "validate their parking," which was my first time hearing the phrase, and after blinking stupidly in silence for a full five seconds I said "Well parking is really hard but I'm sure you did it really well" 10:26 PM 14 Oct 21 Twitter for iPhone :

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Locked In

12 year old me making an email I will use for the rest of my life

12 year old me making an email I will use for the rest of my life

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Good Stick

Finding a stick like this. Bro literally got the best one I'm not kidding this is the best stick I've ever seen in my life

Finding a stick like this. Bro literally got the best one I'm not kidding this is the best stick I've ever seen in my life

Not Worried About it

Nikki Payne @NikkiPayne14 Apart from "life is short" what other lines do you use before making bad decisions?

Nikki Payne @NikkiPayne14 Apart from "life is short" what other lines do you use before making bad decisions?

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Absolutely

@graveyardwitch_ They say goths are the scary ones but women who dress like this scare me 100000x more Ay 201

@graveyardwitch_ They say goths are the scary ones but women who dress like this scare me 100000x more Ay 201

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Real

people born after 2000 when do I get to own a house and car? the economy That's the neat part, you don't

people born after 2000 when do I get to own a house and car? the economy That's the neat part, you don't

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Mood

Abby Tomlinson @twcuddleston my cat has become OBSESSED with sitting in on my zoom calls and has now perfected the art of glaring straight down the camera

Abby Tomlinson @twcuddleston my cat has become OBSESSED with sitting in on my zoom calls and has now perfected the art of glaring straight down the camera

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Hey Now

Matt The Outlaw @Cursed C. Lady behind me at The Thing screening last night to her partner "why are they shooting at the dog?" and her partner says very firmly "have you never seen a film before? You watch it and information is revealed"

Matt The Outlaw @Cursed C. Lady behind me at The Thing screening last night to her partner "why are they shooting at the dog?" and her partner says very firmly "have you never seen a film before? You watch it and information is revealed"

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Honesty

Sss @acidicjews Once I asked a French guy at a music festival in Paris for hit of his joint and he said "No. I am, uh, selfish." mia @rasputinboneym Aug 10 Every single European stereotype is true bc why did I jokingly say Now you have to buy me a beer after giving a c-- to a German guy and he went They are not equivalent in price . 9:39 AM - Aug 11, 2023 7.2M Views ...

Sss @acidicjews Once I asked a French guy at a music festival in Paris for hit of his joint and he said "No. I am, uh, selfish." mia @rasputinboneym Aug 10 Every single European stereotype is true bc why did I jokingly say Now you have to buy me a beer after giving a c-- to a German guy and he went They are not equivalent in price . 9:39 AM - Aug 11, 2023 7.2M Views ...

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Pull up

Therapist: you need to be more social, invite more people over Me: CRYING SESSION AT MY HOUSE TONIGHT AT 8 PULL UP.

Therapist: you need to be more social, invite more people over Me: CRYING SESSION AT MY HOUSE TONIGHT AT 8 PULL UP.

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True

Vicas @Vicas3 don't we all In case you missed it BOTW's Old Man Has a Hidden Dialogue Reaction When Set On Fire SR Screen Rant - 1w ...

Vicas @Vicas3 don't we all In case you missed it BOTW's Old Man Has a Hidden Dialogue Reaction When Set On Fire SR Screen Rant - 1w ...

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Gotta go

me leaving self checkout after scanning the ps5 as a tomato 321 Save ¹2 Ass 448

me leaving self checkout after scanning the ps5 as a tomato 321 Save ¹2 Ass 448

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The Worst

My brain trying to figure out if it's an actual memory, a movie I saw, or a dream I had.

My brain trying to figure out if it's an actual memory, a movie I saw, or a dream I had.

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Sometimes Nothing is Nice

Me: I can't wait for my day off Me on my day off:

Me: I can't wait for my day off Me on my day off:

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Big Job

Painkiller after seeing that much pain inside me:

Painkiller after seeing that much pain inside me:

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Let me Have my Moment

Me, finally getting to do the things I wanted as a child My friends my age who got to do those things as kids

Me, finally getting to do the things I wanted as a child My friends my age who got to do those things as kids

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Precious

My husband had a sleepover with his best friends to watch Thursday Night Football WAR

My husband had a sleepover with his best friends to watch Thursday Night Football WAR

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Yeah

yazmi @whatsappauntie ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be on the computer a lot 01:08 11/08/2023 from Earth 1M Views 8,579 Reposts 385 Quotes 39.3K Likes 856 Bookmarks

yazmi @whatsappauntie ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be on the computer a lot 01:08 11/08/2023 from Earth 1M Views 8,579 Reposts 385 Quotes 39.3K Likes 856 Bookmarks

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