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Normal Line vs. Gearbox Line

Anonymous Sat 14 May 2016 21:23:41 No.337630843 Report Quoted By: >>337632282 >>337632768 >>337633565 >>337644653 >>337644907 >>337645150 >>337623732 I can't stand the writing, it feels like it gets worse with every Gearbox game. They can't go ONE LINE without stuffing it full of "ironic" observation as their form of 'jokes'. Like they have an insecure 12 year-old filter for everything >Normal line: "If you can get some fuel canisters, then I can reactive the main generator and get our shields back up. I marked the objective on your map" >Gearbox line: "Heyyyy buddy, great job killing all those mutants and all. You're really good at that! Shooting things, that is. One problemo though, as it turns out a bunch of monsters on the planet are gonna tear our eyes out if we don't get the shield back up. And this is just my opinion, but that's gonna suck. Not having eyes sounds terrible! Like, how am I supposed to read my collection of "Bodacious Space Babes" without any flippin' eyeballs? So here's my brilliant plan that I got written on this here napkin. There's this generator-thing. You following me? And it needs GAS! Who knew? So mayyybe, you can go out and fetch some canisters. And then we can get the generator running, and then the shield will go back up, and we won't get horribly viciously murdered! Doesn't that sound great? I know, right? So, since I did most of the work coming up with the plan, I was thinking you can do the last step and get the cannisters. If you see any monsters, shoot them in the face or something. Oh and one more tip: try not to get killed. That'll put a wrench in this plan- metaphorically that is. Not literally. I hate people who misuse the term "literally", it drives me FIGURATIVELY insane. Anyway I'll just be here, cowering in my bunker while you go do that. Go team badass!"
Anonymous Sat 14 May 2016 21:23:41 No.337630843 Report Quoted By: >>337632282 >>337632768 >>337633565 >>337644653 >>337644907 >>337645150 >>337623732 I can't stand the writing, it feels like it gets worse with every Gearbox game. They can't go ONE LINE without stuffing it full of "ironic" observation as their form of 'jokes'. Like they have an insecure 12 year-old filter for everything >Normal line: "If you can get some fuel canisters, then I can reactive the main generator and get our shields back up. I marked the objective on your map" >Gearbox line: "Heyyyy buddy, great job killing all those mutants and all. You're really good at that! Shooting things, that is. One problemo though, as it turns out a bunch of monsters on the planet are gonna tear our eyes out if we don't get the shield back up. And this is just my opinion, but that's gonna suck. Not having eyes sounds terrible! Like, how am I supposed to read my collection of "Bodacious Space Babes" without any flippin' eyeballs? So here's my brilliant plan that I got written on this here napkin. There's this generator-thing. You following me? And it needs GAS! Who knew? So mayyybe, you can go out and fetch some canisters. And then we can get the generator running, and then the shield will go back up, and we won't get horribly viciously murdered! Doesn't that sound great? I know, right? So, since I did most of the work coming up with the plan, I was thinking you can do the last step and get the cannisters. If you see any monsters, shoot them in the face or something. Oh and one more tip: try not to get killed. That'll put a wrench in this plan- metaphorically that is. Not literally. I hate people who misuse the term "literally", it drives me FIGURATIVELY insane. Anyway I'll just be here, cowering in my bunker while you go do that. Go team badass!"

Millennial Writing
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