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The Last Of Jesus

Rise Up Inertial Invites @intransitivelie@beige.party Jesus: impossible to kill, reproduced asexually. Jesus is canonically a fungus. Clearly the part the Romans crucified was a fruiting body of some kind, leaving the bulk of the organism below ground, safe and secure. And every Easter, we find Jesus' multi-colored spores hidden in dark places. The rabbits tried to warn us. But now it's too late. He's metastasized across the whole planet. Soon enough, he will come again, and when he does, no cross in the world will be big enough to keep him at bay. *Twilight Zone music intensifies* Mar 27, 2024, 07:06 · · 262 · ★ 418

Rise Up Inertial Invites @intransitivelie@beige.party Jesus: impossible to kill, reproduced asexually. Jesus is canonically a fungus. Clearly the part the Romans crucified was a fruiting body of some kind, leaving the bulk of the organism below ground, safe and secure. And every Easter, we find Jesus' multi-colored spores hidden in dark places. The rabbits tried to warn us. But now it's too late. He's metastasized across the whole planet. Soon enough, he will come again, and when he does, no cross in the world will be big enough to keep him at bay. *Twilight Zone music intensifies* Mar 27, 2024, 07:06 · · 262 · ★ 418

fungus jesus christ easter easter eggs easter bunny immaculate conception spores creepypasta

Yay Easter decs are out | /r/dankmemes

"Jesus died for our sins." Ok, but he didn't stay dead, so what exactly did he sacrifice? "Jesus gave up a 3 day weekend for our sins."

"Jesus died for our sins." Ok, but he didn't stay dead, so what exactly did he sacrifice? "Jesus gave up a 3 day weekend for our sins."

/r/dankmemes reddit

Jesus says stop being thirsty

ithelpstodream My favorite bible story is when instead of telling women to dress modestly, Jesus tells his dudes to avoid lust by plucking their eyes out 5/13/16, 1:44 AM Shells&Emotions @anna_bayla 986 RETWEETS 1,759 LIKES since1938 My man Jesus goddessolga What story is that? ffermented-salmonella Matthew 18:9 livebloggingmydescentintomadness "And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away." beachfox "Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!" "Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don't have to see all those bodies anymore?" "wut" "What?" "Shouldn't you tell them to... stop dressing like that or something?" "Don't see why. It's not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a f------ sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself." "Uh...." "Or learn to keep it in your g'damn pants no matter what they're wearing." dinosaurrainbowstarfish He goes on for like several examples too. "How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when...they're dressin like that?" "Cut it off." "wut" "Cut it off. Your hand. If it's a problem, stop having a hand." "wut" "What" corporationsarepeople "Did I f------ stutter?" Ivdeo And for our variety hour, here's some nice things about Jesus Source: ithelpstodream 473,449 notes ifunny.co

ithelpstodream My favorite bible story is when instead of telling women to dress modestly, Jesus tells his dudes to avoid lust by plucking their eyes out 5/13/16, 1:44 AM Shells&Emotions @anna_bayla 986 RETWEETS 1,759 LIKES since1938 My man Jesus goddessolga What story is that? ffermented-salmonella Matthew 18:9 livebloggingmydescentintomadness "And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away." beachfox "Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!" "Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don't have to see all those bodies anymore?" "wut" "What?" "Shouldn't you tell them to... stop dressing like that or something?" "Don't see why. It's not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a f------ sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself." "Uh...." "Or learn to keep it in your g'damn pants no matter what they're wearing." dinosaurrainbowstarfish He goes on for like several examples too. "How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when...they're dressin like that?" "Cut it off." "wut" "Cut it off. Your hand. If it's a problem, stop having a hand." "wut" "What" corporationsarepeople "Did I f------ stutter?" Ivdeo And for our variety hour, here's some nice things about Jesus Source: ithelpstodream 473,449 notes ifunny.co

Jesus holding a cat

Depictions of Jesus comparison

Average Protestant Depiction of Christ 10 Sm Average Catholic Depiction of Christ I guess it is a little strange...

Average Protestant Depiction of Christ 10 Sm Average Catholic Depiction of Christ I guess it is a little strange...

bible protestant catholic

Jesus hugs Miku

Ю в дв

Ю в дв

hatsune miku bible

I'm Not Worthy

Geist @sochimuoneke I'm not worthy to be in his presence. Run me the $1 trillion. tubs @teletubby. 2d be honest Show this thread : $1 Trillion or 10 Minutes dinner with Jesus BLACK ✓ TWITTER THREADS

Geist @sochimuoneke I'm not worthy to be in his presence. Run me the $1 trillion. tubs @teletubby. 2d be honest Show this thread : $1 Trillion or 10 Minutes dinner with Jesus BLACK ✓ TWITTER THREADS

clever comebacks /r/clevercomebacks extreme combacks owned roasted

Too early white Jesus

Goddamn it White Jesus You're 230 million years too early

Goddamn it White Jesus You're 230 million years too early

dinosaurs bible

Jesus visits the Hazbin hotel

JESUS CHRIST BUZ ME! FSH $€ X YOU'RE SO LUCKY, CHARLIE. XX 10 Tezcakoa JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THE HELL OF MY UNIVERSE. AND THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND. THIS IS "HELL" IN YOUR UNIVERSE? 5 MINUTES LATER @TezcaKoatl NO SO... WELL... YEP! THAT'S RIGHT. W-WAIT! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? Feel 200 *SIGH*... YEAH, I KNOW... 2023 Paniel کر

JESUS CHRIST BUZ ME! FSH $€ X YOU'RE SO LUCKY, CHARLIE. XX 10 Tezcakoa JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THE HELL OF MY UNIVERSE. AND THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND. THIS IS "HELL" IN YOUR UNIVERSE? 5 MINUTES LATER @TezcaKoatl NO SO... WELL... YEP! THAT'S RIGHT. W-WAIT! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? Feel 200 *SIGH*... YEAH, I KNOW... 2023 Paniel کر

hazbin hotel charlie morningstar jesus hell

Jesus portrait

the bible portrait art

Jesus

فلسطين حرة

فلسطين حرة

bible art portrait

Hazbin Jesus

Snowflake Owl (CEO OF SIMON PETRIKOV) @ASnowflake Owl Follow Here's my interpretation of what Jesus might look like in Hazbin Hotel. Neo The (ROAD TO 1M) @TheRealNeoThe 1d I NEED to know what Jesus looks like in the Vizieverse twitter.com/ thecartoonbase...

Snowflake Owl (CEO OF SIMON PETRIKOV) @ASnowflake Owl Follow Here's my interpretation of what Jesus might look like in Hazbin Hotel. Neo The (ROAD TO 1M) @TheRealNeoThe 1d I NEED to know what Jesus looks like in the Vizieverse twitter.com/ thecartoonbase...

hazbin hotel helluva boss

Hazbin hotel Jesus

Tenzalt''] @Tenzalt Probably like this Neo The (ROAD TO 1M) @TheRealNeoThe 1d I NEED to know what Jesus looks like in the Vizieverse twitter.com/ Follow

Tenzalt''] @Tenzalt Probably like this Neo The (ROAD TO 1M) @TheRealNeoThe 1d I NEED to know what Jesus looks like in the Vizieverse twitter.com/ Follow

hazbin hotel helluva boss bible vivziepop

Jesus from the bible

jesus christ art

That one guy from that one book

ISCE 190

ISCE 190

Jesus and the fig tree

OH LOOK A FIG TREE! I'm so hungry llol 1. 2 NO FIGS (It was not the season for figs) I HOPE YOU NEVER BEAR FRUIT AGAIN and his disciples heard him say it

OH LOOK A FIG TREE! I'm so hungry llol 1. 2 NO FIGS (It was not the season for figs) I HOPE YOU NEVER BEAR FRUIT AGAIN and his disciples heard him say it