Louis C.K. - Images

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I don't stop eating wheni'm full. Themeal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself

I don't stop eating wheni'm full. Themeal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself

On Gay Marriage

"It doesn't have ANY effect on your life. What do you care?! People try to talk about it like it's a social issue. Like when you see someone stand up on a talk show and say "How am I supposed to explain to my child that two men are getting married?"... I dunno, it's your s----- kid, you f-----' tell 'em. Why is that anyone else's problem? Two guys are in LOVE but they can't get married be- cause YOU don't want to talk to your ugly child for f-----' five minutes? -Louis C.K.

"It doesn't have ANY effect on your life. What do you care?! People try to talk about it like it's a social issue. Like when you see someone stand up on a talk show and say "How am I supposed to explain to my child that two men are getting married?"... I dunno, it's your s----- kid, you f-----' tell 'em. Why is that anyone else's problem? Two guys are in LOVE but they can't get married be- cause YOU don't want to talk to your ugly child for f-----' five minutes? -Louis C.K.

OF COURSE, IF YOU ARE FIGHTING FOR YOUR COUNTRY AND GET SHOT OR HURT LTIS A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY BUT MAYBE, IF YOU GET SHOT BY THE DUDE YOU WERE SHOOTING AT, IT'S A TINY BIT YOUR FAULT

OF COURSE, IF YOU ARE FIGHTING FOR YOUR COUNTRY AND GET SHOT OR HURT LTIS A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY BUT MAYBE, IF YOU GET SHOT BY THE DUDE YOU WERE SHOOTING AT, IT'S A TINY BIT YOUR FAULT

THE LOUIS CK PAIN CHART NORMAL DISCOMFORT DISGUSTED WITH SELF DISGUSTED WITH SELF AND WORLD DISAPPOINTED CHOOSE THE FACE THAT BEST DESCRIBES YOUR PAIN VULTURE

THE LOUIS CK PAIN CHART NORMAL DISCOMFORT DISGUSTED WITH SELF DISGUSTED WITH SELF AND WORLD DISAPPOINTED CHOOSE THE FACE THAT BEST DESCRIBES YOUR PAIN VULTURE

Don't hide behind the first letter like a f-----. Say n-----, you stupid c---. Louis C.K

Don't hide behind the first letter like a f-----. Say n-----, you stupid c---. Louis C.K

Ve report. |N ou decide. I N 11 はDX1 We report. You LIVE ELLEN FARBER CHRISTIANS AGAINST M----------- report. Yo LIVE LOUIE C.K. COMEDIAN/MASTURBATOR We report. You decida It keeps me sane! I'm a good citizen, a good father, I recycle, and I masturbate. R We repr de And I'm proud of it. And God's happy. FX n ro We repo Yau der W s And later l'm gonna masturbate, and I'm gonna think about you, and there's nothing you can do about it. FX

Ve report. |N ou decide. I N 11 はDX1 We report. You LIVE ELLEN FARBER CHRISTIANS AGAINST M----------- report. Yo LIVE LOUIE C.K. COMEDIAN/MASTURBATOR We report. You decida It keeps me sane! I'm a good citizen, a good father, I recycle, and I masturbate. R We repr de And I'm proud of it. And God's happy. FX n ro We repo Yau der W s And later l'm gonna masturbate, and I'm gonna think about you, and there's nothing you can do about it. FX

You know, I'd like to see that

● You know what, honestly you can take your vagina and you can shove it up your ass

● You know what, honestly you can take your vagina and you can shove it up your ass

it up ass vagina your louis louis ck ck shove

go fuck yourself

finger go middle louis mirror yourself louis ck ck

LOUIS CK LIVEAT THE BEACON THEATER

LOUIS CK LIVEAT THE BEACON THEATER

One thing I'm really tired of is arguing with slave owners about slavery as if they're not just f------ assholes. Abraham Lincoln

One thing I'm really tired of is arguing with slave owners about slavery as if they're not just f------ assholes. Abraham Lincoln

Louis C.K. supports masturbation

report. I Nil We reporl.Y ELLEN FARBER CHRISTIANS AGAINST M----------- LOUIE C.K COMEDIAN/MASTURBATOR It keeps me sane! I'm a good citizen, I'm a good father, I recycle, and I masturbate. F And I'm proud of it. And God's happy FX 0玺 0 And later I'm gonna masturbate, and I'm gonna think about you, and there's can do about it. FX

report. I Nil We reporl.Y ELLEN FARBER CHRISTIANS AGAINST M----------- LOUIE C.K COMEDIAN/MASTURBATOR It keeps me sane! I'm a good citizen, I'm a good father, I recycle, and I masturbate. F And I'm proud of it. And God's happy FX 0玺 0 And later I'm gonna masturbate, and I'm gonna think about you, and there's can do about it. FX

louis c.k. black comedy ellen farber observational comedy self deprecation old age surreal humour

White People Problems

We have White People Problems, in America. That's what we have. White People Problems. You know what that is? That's where you're life is amazing, so you just make s--- up to be upset about. People in other countries have real problems. Like - "Oh, s--- They're cutting off all our heads, today!" Things like that. Here, we make s--- up to be upset about. Like - "How come I have to choose a language on the ATM machine? It's b-------. l shouldn't have to do that. I'm American."

We have White People Problems, in America. That's what we have. White People Problems. You know what that is? That's where you're life is amazing, so you just make s--- up to be upset about. People in other countries have real problems. Like - "Oh, s--- They're cutting off all our heads, today!" Things like that. Here, we make s--- up to be upset about. Like - "How come I have to choose a language on the ATM machine? It's b-------. l shouldn't have to do that. I'm American."

america first world problems louis c.k.

My youngest daughter, she tells jokes a lot Do your girls try to be funny because you'reand love her jokes. She invents them. She a comic? doesn't steal other people's stuff Her jokes are great because I don't know what's going to happen You know, you know jokes after a while. Someone starts a joke, you know wht's going to happen, but not hers. "Who told the gorilla tha he couldn't go to Here's a joke she told me the other day She said.. Lthe ballet?" Right away I love this, this is a great joke. lsaid, "Who?* And she said Just the people who are in charge of that decision I don't know this joke!

My youngest daughter, she tells jokes a lot Do your girls try to be funny because you'reand love her jokes. She invents them. She a comic? doesn't steal other people's stuff Her jokes are great because I don't know what's going to happen You know, you know jokes after a while. Someone starts a joke, you know wht's going to happen, but not hers. "Who told the gorilla tha he couldn't go to Here's a joke she told me the other day She said.. Lthe ballet?" Right away I love this, this is a great joke. lsaid, "Who?* And she said Just the people who are in charge of that decision I don't know this joke!