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You know, I'd like to see that

● You know what, honestly you can take your vagina and you can shove it up your ass

● You know what, honestly you can take your vagina and you can shove it up your ass

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LOUIS CK LIVEAT THE BEACON THEATER

LOUIS CK LIVEAT THE BEACON THEATER

One thing I'm really tired of is arguing with slave owners about slavery as if they're not just f------ assholes. Abraham Lincoln

One thing I'm really tired of is arguing with slave owners about slavery as if they're not just f------ assholes. Abraham Lincoln

Louis C.K. supports masturbation

report. I Nil We reporl.Y ELLEN FARBER CHRISTIANS AGAINST M----------- LOUIE C.K COMEDIAN/MASTURBATOR It keeps me sane! I'm a good citizen, I'm a good father, I recycle, and I masturbate. F And I'm proud of it. And God's happy FX 0玺 0 And later I'm gonna masturbate, and I'm gonna think about you, and there's can do about it. FX

report. I Nil We reporl.Y ELLEN FARBER CHRISTIANS AGAINST M----------- LOUIE C.K COMEDIAN/MASTURBATOR It keeps me sane! I'm a good citizen, I'm a good father, I recycle, and I masturbate. F And I'm proud of it. And God's happy FX 0玺 0 And later I'm gonna masturbate, and I'm gonna think about you, and there's can do about it. FX

louis c.k. black comedy ellen farber observational comedy self deprecation old age surreal humour

White People Problems

We have White People Problems, in America. That's what we have. White People Problems. You know what that is? That's where you're life is amazing, so you just make s--- up to be upset about. People in other countries have real problems. Like - "Oh, s--- They're cutting off all our heads, today!" Things like that. Here, we make s--- up to be upset about. Like - "How come I have to choose a language on the ATM machine? It's b-------. l shouldn't have to do that. I'm American."

We have White People Problems, in America. That's what we have. White People Problems. You know what that is? That's where you're life is amazing, so you just make s--- up to be upset about. People in other countries have real problems. Like - "Oh, s--- They're cutting off all our heads, today!" Things like that. Here, we make s--- up to be upset about. Like - "How come I have to choose a language on the ATM machine? It's b-------. l shouldn't have to do that. I'm American."

america first world problems louis c.k.

My youngest daughter, she tells jokes a lot Do your girls try to be funny because you'reand love her jokes. She invents them. She a comic? doesn't steal other people's stuff Her jokes are great because I don't know what's going to happen You know, you know jokes after a while. Someone starts a joke, you know wht's going to happen, but not hers. "Who told the gorilla tha he couldn't go to Here's a joke she told me the other day She said.. Lthe ballet?" Right away I love this, this is a great joke. lsaid, "Who?* And she said Just the people who are in charge of that decision I don't know this joke!

My youngest daughter, she tells jokes a lot Do your girls try to be funny because you'reand love her jokes. She invents them. She a comic? doesn't steal other people's stuff Her jokes are great because I don't know what's going to happen You know, you know jokes after a while. Someone starts a joke, you know wht's going to happen, but not hers. "Who told the gorilla tha he couldn't go to Here's a joke she told me the other day She said.. Lthe ballet?" Right away I love this, this is a great joke. lsaid, "Who?* And she said Just the people who are in charge of that decision I don't know this joke!

「 PARKING PERMITTED Wi ANYTIME AFTER MIDNIGHT DEPT OF TRANSPORTATION Is it after midnight right now, or is it before? It's before midnight right now. Yeah, but it's also after.

「 PARKING PERMITTED Wi ANYTIME AFTER MIDNIGHT DEPT OF TRANSPORTATION Is it after midnight right now, or is it before? It's before midnight right now. Yeah, but it's also after.

I read something in the paper that really confused me the other day. It said that 80 percent of the people in New York are minorities... Shouldn't you not call them minorities when they get to be 80 percent of the population? That's a very white attitude, don't you think? I mean, you could take a white guy to Africa and he'd be like "Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority." -Louis C.K.

I read something in the paper that really confused me the other day. It said that 80 percent of the people in New York are minorities... Shouldn't you not call them minorities when they get to be 80 percent of the population? That's a very white attitude, don't you think? I mean, you could take a white guy to Africa and he'd be like "Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority." -Louis C.K.

"Maybe something nice will happen!" WHY THE F--- WOULD ANYTHING NICE EVER HAPPEN.

"Maybe something nice will happen!" WHY THE F--- WOULD ANYTHING NICE EVER HAPPEN.

Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self- hatred, and then further analysis

Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self- hatred, and then further analysis

Comedian/Masturbator

We re LIVE LOUIE C.K. COMEDIAN/MASTURBATOR

We re LIVE LOUIE C.K. COMEDIAN/MASTURBATOR

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Be Not the pollution Your ITTE Suck a d---, son.

Be Not the pollution Your ITTE Suck a d---, son.

- I don't care.

- I don't care.