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Anonymous 12 hours ago No.20241346>> 20241395 (You) >>20241745 Reading a book in your library tree waiting for woolie to come home during season 4 t's been 3 months since Sir Woolsworth Madden of the Super Best Friends Zaibatsu came to Equestria. Your first contact with the new species of creature known as the "Human" was quite exciting >You wondered what new lessons about friendship this enormous otherworldly beast could teach you But it didn't take long for some of his less flattering qualities to show He was hairy, stank, strangely moist at all times, and as you would later learn, a compulsive liar When you attempted to befriend him over breakfast, he became visibly upset and began loudly emanating droplets of liquid salt which flooded the floor >His eyes nervously darted around before settling on the slice of pie which was being brought to somepony for their dessert He snatched up the pie and began to devour it ravenously like a hungry predator You protested, telling the human that was illegal, hoping that perhaps he simply didn't understand the customs of Equestria The Woolie simply laughed and shouted nonsensically, "When the word of law falls, pick it up and hold it higherl" Which made no sense to you at all He then proceeded to steal a guard pony's spear and shield, declaring his intention to conquer Equestria in the name of the Super Best Friends Zaibatsu. >This frightened you, as the look in his eyes told you that he had certainly killed before. However, his combat skills seemed lacking as he simply cowered behind his stolen shield and became exhausted, collapsing in a pile of wet salt When brought to the courtroom, he managed to lie his way out of a jail sentence by claiming you had taught him a valuable lesson about friendship They agreed to release him on the condition that he remain on parole and under House Arrest in your tree library, only permitted to be there or at work Anonymous 11 hours ago No.20241745>>20241762 >>20242085>>20242165 sofaraway.gif (1.97 MB 20241346 You went along with it of course. As a Princess, youve been struggling to make your mark with a valuable. He was simply too valuable to be rotting in Princess Celestia's Lunar Good Times Gulag >There was much to learm, and ou n Your thought process is interrupted by the sound of shattering glass >Sweet Celestia's Sunny Salt Shaker, an intruderl Could it be the Changelings? Trixie seeking revenge? Sea Ponies? Zec ora is really a thief like you suspected all along? ou s and try to You decide that Spike must have f----- up somehow >With that comfortingly familiar scenario in mind, you head out to assess the damage and decide his punishment But just as you're leaving the room, a bloody mass of hair and darkness blocks your path. s just you, Woolie. Back from work?" >Woolie had taken up work as Ponyville's Ghost Buster >This mostly involves him walking around yelling "COME ON OUT GHOSTS!" and challenging them to a fight >An unusual profession, but ever since AJ started growing apples on those sacred Zebra Burial Grounds, she's kept him on retainer She even leaves out a pie for him to steal as a reward for a job well done Still, you're worried about this blood on him. You wouldn't want it dripping on the books That's a lot of blood, Woolie, are you okay? "BUSTAAAAH WUUUULF! Screamed the woolie as he struck a pose, blood flying from his arm and raining down on you. >You recoil as his violent yelling startles you. You're not sure what triggers these outbursts, but whenever you ask him he always gets this far off look in his eyes >A Bloody Stream flows from what seems to be lacerations on his hand, and you decide to help him with those wounds before his body is dry Anonymous 10 hours ago No.20242165>>20242303 datstare.png (350 KB, 640x360) google iqdb no Nurse Redheart, but this should help. >Piles of junk fabric Rarity dumped on you are in the comer, and it's a simple matter to cut it apart with magic and use your telekinesis to clean the up and bandage his hand Woolie shakes his head, his wild dreads whipping in the air. "Nah man, those p---- ass punk bitch ghosts don't got SHITI THEY DONT GOT S---!I told em "Yo come the f--- AT me and they backed down like a coward that don't even smoke crack! You shoulda been there, it was the hypest s---. You barely understand his thick Canadian dialect, but you get the gist of it ou Woolie just gives you his s--- eating grin. "Force of habit from my old days in Grenada Well hopefully you'll leam your lesson from this. I1l try to see if I can find a book on repairing windows with magic." >A spark appears in Woolie's eyes as he says to Twilight, "So you're telling me you want to read a book with words in it. With your eyes." The intensity of his gaze causes your hind legs to tremble unnoticably as you respond cautiously IS >And you gotta use your hands to turn the pages, and you know what happens? You get a paper cut And then the blood just all over your book. Then what? You can't read it You can't even turn the pages because they're glued together with your coagulated blood! >You grimace at the mental imagery, but try to reassure him. "Well uh, if you've noticed, I actually use my magic to turn the pages. It's simple, and it's very safe so I've never gotten a paper cut from it. Well, except this one time I was trying to read 20 books at once to prepare for a final, but my BBBFF just gave me a band-aid and kissed it better sol Anonymous 10 hours ago No.20242303>>20242586 >>20245811 awfulimage.jpg (43 KB, 720x571) google iqdb "Is... the blood thing a serious problem for humans? Is that why I don't ever see you read? I was worried you might have just been illitera- >"But you live inside a TREE terrupt the Wo lie after he finishes processing what he heard. "And you know where paper comes from?" "Oh you bet I do! It's actually a very fascinating process! You see, when Trees- TREES." Woolie interjects. "Trees like the one you live in. But you can't live in BOOKSI So what happens when all the trees turn into books? You're Well actually, Woolie, the paper industry is very efficient. Trees are cut down for lumber, not for paper. Paper is made as a byproduct of the lumber process with parts of the tree that would otherwise go to waste. And the type of tree I live in wouldn't really be usable for paper or lumber. It o get that nerd s--- out my FACE because there is a better f-- king way." He interrupts again Your ears are flattened back against your mane in fear. You're worried that Woolie may have finally snapped and become Violent Woolie. Which seems wrong because he's always violent, so it's more like Evil Woolie, but you're not really sure about where he stands on the axis of good and evil either you go on down to audible podcast dot com slash super best right now, you can get access to a 30 day free trial to download your free audio books today. I goes DIRECTLY into your EARS. It's the future of reading! No more paper cuts! No more Twilight Sparkle living on the street with Scootaloo turning tricks for spare bits so she can buy a "water damaged" copy of Fifty Shades of Neigh. And you get over One Hundred and Fifty THOUUUUUUbUbUSAND TITLES Woolie is unc omfortable close. The stank of his moistness causes your eyes to water. Or perhaps it's his moist stankness. His bizarre tirade is wrong on so many levels, you aren't even sure where to start to correct him until something click Anonymous 9 hours ago No.20242586>>20242649 delicioustears.gif (1.38 MB, 200x 1 Of course... it's Monday night. You're supposed to be recording the podcast with the rest of your Super Best Friends, aren't you? Monday nights have always been the hardest for him. You were so shaken up by him breaking your window that you forgot That's right, 150,000 titles absolutely free. Free Ninety Nine. Free like Pat in Mahvell It pains you to do this, but you know it's for his own good Woolie, there is no audible podcast dot com. There are no audio books. Equestria just doesn't have the level of technology that earth does!I know you miss it, but you have to accept that the internet doesnt exist here yet Woolie's facade necessary to overcome life's hardships cracks. Tears flow out of his eyes in nonstop infinite salt dumping "Oh, here a practiced motion, you levitate a pair of vials up against woolie's eye holes and begin collecting the precious liquid salt for study You don't enjoy making Woolie cry, but it's not your fault he's a huge baby He sobs for what seems like hours before the flow ends s all gonna be ok ay He brings you in for a hug. It's a bit moist, but you figure he needs it. "Now don't mind the squeegee >You levitate a squeegee to his face and collect the last of his tears and sweat into a vial while he weakly murmurs, "Simpsons did it "I'm sure they did, big guy. Now then, I think you deserve a little treat to help you feel all better Anonymous 9 hours ago No.20242649 >>20242667 >>20246094>>20246276 timtams.gif (2.28 MB, 384x288) google iqdb know, would you like some Tim Tams?" >Woolie nods wordlessly. You both knew the answer would be yes Tim Tams for my >By some coincidence, Tim Tams are one of the few things your Equestria has in common with his world. Without them, Woolie's reformation may not even have been possi >You open the magic lockbox containing your secret stash of Tim Tams. Woolie snatches one up almost immediately and begins munching on it.It brings a smile to your face to see him at peace There you go big man, it's gonna be okay. Now get some sleep, all right?" Woolie nods with a mouth full of Tim Tam and you turn to leave. Just before you're out the door though, you hear him ask in a voice filled with childlike hopefulness which betrays his murderous thieving nature. "T-Twilight?" You just give him a knowing motherly smile and tell him, "Surely one day. Woolie. Surely one day >He seems satisfied and lies down with his Tim Tam and his Incredible Hulk Doll he's really rubbing off on you. Now you're a liar too. You didn't tell him that the real answer to "When's Mahvel" is "Never ou ry ou have hope that one day he'll see the true marvel that is the power of friendshi And then his skeleton popped out.
Anonymous 12 hours ago No.20241346>> 20241395 (You) >>20241745 Reading a book in your library tree waiting for woolie to come home during season 4 t's been 3 months since Sir Woolsworth Madden of the Super Best Friends Zaibatsu came to Equestria. Your first contact with the new species of creature known as the "Human" was quite exciting >You wondered what new lessons about friendship this enormous otherworldly beast could teach you But it didn't take long for some of his less flattering qualities to show He was hairy, stank, strangely moist at all times, and as you would later learn, a compulsive liar When you attempted to befriend him over breakfast, he became visibly upset and began loudly emanating droplets of liquid salt which flooded the floor >His eyes nervously darted around before settling on the slice of pie which was being brought to somepony for their dessert He snatched up the pie and began to devour it ravenously like a hungry predator You protested, telling the human that was illegal, hoping that perhaps he simply didn't understand the customs of Equestria The Woolie simply laughed and shouted nonsensically, "When the word of law falls, pick it up and hold it higherl" Which made no sense to you at all He then proceeded to steal a guard pony's spear and shield, declaring his intention to conquer Equestria in the name of the Super Best Friends Zaibatsu. >This frightened you, as the look in his eyes told you that he had certainly killed before. However, his combat skills seemed lacking as he simply cowered behind his stolen shield and became exhausted, collapsing in a pile of wet salt When brought to the courtroom, he managed to lie his way out of a jail sentence by claiming you had taught him a valuable lesson about friendship They agreed to release him on the condition that he remain on parole and under House Arrest in your tree library, only permitted to be there or at work Anonymous 11 hours ago No.20241745>>20241762 >>20242085>>20242165 sofaraway.gif (1.97 MB 20241346 You went along with it of course. As a Princess, youve been struggling to make your mark with a valuable. He was simply too valuable to be rotting in Princess Celestia's Lunar Good Times Gulag >There was much to learm, and ou n Your thought process is interrupted by the sound of shattering glass >Sweet Celestia's Sunny Salt Shaker, an intruderl Could it be the Changelings? Trixie seeking revenge? Sea Ponies? Zec ora is really a thief like you suspected all along? ou s and try to You decide that Spike must have f----- up somehow >With that comfortingly familiar scenario in mind, you head out to assess the damage and decide his punishment But just as you're leaving the room, a bloody mass of hair and darkness blocks your path. s just you, Woolie. Back from work?" >Woolie had taken up work as Ponyville's Ghost Buster >This mostly involves him walking around yelling "COME ON OUT GHOSTS!" and challenging them to a fight >An unusual profession, but ever since AJ started growing apples on those sacred Zebra Burial Grounds, she's kept him on retainer She even leaves out a pie for him to steal as a reward for a job well done Still, you're worried about this blood on him. You wouldn't want it dripping on the books That's a lot of blood, Woolie, are you okay? "BUSTAAAAH WUUUULF! Screamed the woolie as he struck a pose, blood flying from his arm and raining down on you. >You recoil as his violent yelling startles you. You're not sure what triggers these outbursts, but whenever you ask him he always gets this far off look in his eyes >A Bloody Stream flows from what seems to be lacerations on his hand, and you decide to help him with those wounds before his body is dry Anonymous 10 hours ago No.20242165>>20242303 datstare.png (350 KB, 640x360) google iqdb no Nurse Redheart, but this should help. >Piles of junk fabric Rarity dumped on you are in the comer, and it's a simple matter to cut it apart with magic and use your telekinesis to clean the up and bandage his hand Woolie shakes his head, his wild dreads whipping in the air. "Nah man, those p---- ass punk bitch ghosts don't got SHITI THEY DONT GOT S---!I told em "Yo come the f--- AT me and they backed down like a coward that don't even smoke crack! You shoulda been there, it was the hypest s---. You barely understand his thick Canadian dialect, but you get the gist of it ou Woolie just gives you his s--- eating grin. "Force of habit from my old days in Grenada Well hopefully you'll leam your lesson from this. I1l try to see if I can find a book on repairing windows with magic." >A spark appears in Woolie's eyes as he says to Twilight, "So you're telling me you want to read a book with words in it. With your eyes." The intensity of his gaze causes your hind legs to tremble unnoticably as you respond cautiously IS >And you gotta use your hands to turn the pages, and you know what happens? You get a paper cut And then the blood just all over your book. Then what? You can't read it You can't even turn the pages because they're glued together with your coagulated blood! >You grimace at the mental imagery, but try to reassure him. "Well uh, if you've noticed, I actually use my magic to turn the pages. It's simple, and it's very safe so I've never gotten a paper cut from it. Well, except this one time I was trying to read 20 books at once to prepare for a final, but my BBBFF just gave me a band-aid and kissed it better sol Anonymous 10 hours ago No.20242303>>20242586 >>20245811 awfulimage.jpg (43 KB, 720x571) google iqdb "Is... the blood thing a serious problem for humans? Is that why I don't ever see you read? I was worried you might have just been illitera- >"But you live inside a TREE terrupt the Wo lie after he finishes processing what he heard. "And you know where paper comes from?" "Oh you bet I do! It's actually a very fascinating process! You see, when Trees- TREES." Woolie interjects. "Trees like the one you live in. But you can't live in BOOKSI So what happens when all the trees turn into books? You're Well actually, Woolie, the paper industry is very efficient. Trees are cut down for lumber, not for paper. Paper is made as a byproduct of the lumber process with parts of the tree that would otherwise go to waste. And the type of tree I live in wouldn't really be usable for paper or lumber. It o get that nerd s--- out my FACE because there is a better f-- king way." He interrupts again Your ears are flattened back against your mane in fear. You're worried that Woolie may have finally snapped and become Violent Woolie. Which seems wrong because he's always violent, so it's more like Evil Woolie, but you're not really sure about where he stands on the axis of good and evil either you go on down to audible podcast dot com slash super best right now, you can get access to a 30 day free trial to download your free audio books today. I goes DIRECTLY into your EARS. It's the future of reading! No more paper cuts! No more Twilight Sparkle living on the street with Scootaloo turning tricks for spare bits so she can buy a "water damaged" copy of Fifty Shades of Neigh. And you get over One Hundred and Fifty THOUUUUUUbUbUSAND TITLES Woolie is unc omfortable close. The stank of his moistness causes your eyes to water. Or perhaps it's his moist stankness. His bizarre tirade is wrong on so many levels, you aren't even sure where to start to correct him until something click Anonymous 9 hours ago No.20242586>>20242649 delicioustears.gif (1.38 MB, 200x 1 Of course... it's Monday night. You're supposed to be recording the podcast with the rest of your Super Best Friends, aren't you? Monday nights have always been the hardest for him. You were so shaken up by him breaking your window that you forgot That's right, 150,000 titles absolutely free. Free Ninety Nine. Free like Pat in Mahvell It pains you to do this, but you know it's for his own good Woolie, there is no audible podcast dot com. There are no audio books. Equestria just doesn't have the level of technology that earth does!I know you miss it, but you have to accept that the internet doesnt exist here yet Woolie's facade necessary to overcome life's hardships cracks. Tears flow out of his eyes in nonstop infinite salt dumping "Oh, here a practiced motion, you levitate a pair of vials up against woolie's eye holes and begin collecting the precious liquid salt for study You don't enjoy making Woolie cry, but it's not your fault he's a huge baby He sobs for what seems like hours before the flow ends s all gonna be ok ay He brings you in for a hug. It's a bit moist, but you figure he needs it. "Now don't mind the squeegee >You levitate a squeegee to his face and collect the last of his tears and sweat into a vial while he weakly murmurs, "Simpsons did it "I'm sure they did, big guy. Now then, I think you deserve a little treat to help you feel all better Anonymous 9 hours ago No.20242649 >>20242667 >>20246094>>20246276 timtams.gif (2.28 MB, 384x288) google iqdb know, would you like some Tim Tams?" >Woolie nods wordlessly. You both knew the answer would be yes Tim Tams for my >By some coincidence, Tim Tams are one of the few things your Equestria has in common with his world. Without them, Woolie's reformation may not even have been possi >You open the magic lockbox containing your secret stash of Tim Tams. Woolie snatches one up almost immediately and begins munching on it.It brings a smile to your face to see him at peace There you go big man, it's gonna be okay. Now get some sleep, all right?" Woolie nods with a mouth full of Tim Tam and you turn to leave. Just before you're out the door though, you hear him ask in a voice filled with childlike hopefulness which betrays his murderous thieving nature. "T-Twilight?" You just give him a knowing motherly smile and tell him, "Surely one day. Woolie. Surely one day >He seems satisfied and lies down with his Tim Tam and his Incredible Hulk Doll he's really rubbing off on you. Now you're a liar too. You didn't tell him that the real answer to "When's Mahvel" is "Never ou ry ou have hope that one day he'll see the true marvel that is the power of friendshi And then his skeleton popped out.

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Youtits-in-a-toboggan baileyrosworth said So do you sometimes pick up Pat and carry him around in a purse when his legs are tired? Because frankly, that would be adorable t----in-a-toboggan answered I have a marsupial pouch. He lives in there. That's the best unexpected answer ever. 23 notes
Youtits-in-a-toboggan baileyrosworth said So do you sometimes pick up Pat and carry him around in a purse when his legs are tired? Because frankly, that would be adorable t----in-a-toboggan answered I have a marsupial pouch. He lives in there. That's the best unexpected answer ever. 23 notes

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