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So is the UPS guy just standing in front of my door?

Delivery Tracking Arriving today On time It's on the way Arriving today Ordered 20 Aug Dispatched 21 Aug
Delivery Tracking Arriving today On time It's on the way Arriving today Ordered 20 Aug Dispatched 21 Aug

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amazon order professor layton taking it's sweet as time

"10 bucks?"

tastefullyoffensive Amazon Prime Day in a nutshell.
tastefullyoffensive Amazon Prime Day in a nutshell.

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Confessions of an amazon employee

leonardbonesy: I love working at amazon during the holidays because you get to see al of the things people order for Christmas. It's fun thinking that the little froggy rainboots you just shipped out will make some toddler miles away squeal with delight, or the earrings you just stuck in a box will earn a kiss. but then you box a huge black dildo shaped like a fist. 100,420 notes 山一
leonardbonesy: I love working at amazon during the holidays because you get to see al of the things people order for Christmas. It's fun thinking that the little froggy rainboots you just shipped out will make some toddler miles away squeal with delight, or the earrings you just stuck in a box will earn a kiss. but then you box a huge black dildo shaped like a fist. 100,420 notes 山一

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dildo christmas no credit to op

Amazon Chat: Thor & Odin

Facebook reddit: the front page o f th NoHandsKen Twitch My Name is Ken A quad https://w\ a Live Chat with Amazon.com-Google Chrome https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/chat/popup.html?c2dd-bd 1490a1-8dbc-49f8-945e-9461b3f74d40&token=&callMeC2CId-e7bd21 Sound End Chat ® Chat You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not recieved Amazon: Warmest greetingsmy name is Thor. Me: Greeting, Thor. Can I be Odin ? Amazon: Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day? Me: Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occured to cause this agony? Me: I am afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book. nt Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty to get it back to you! I fear it is Loki but I dare not blame him for such things I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can begin to create a new quest in order to get the book back to you Me: Very well my son Amazon: Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this please Father. Me: Do it for me Thor, but most imporantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades) rely on this book. Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate the book into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move Me: Ok so roleplay aside i have my money back and i reorder the book? Amazon: haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book Me: Great! Amazon: Have you placed the order Me: let me do that done Amazon: Okay let me edit it for you That good? Me: Wow hooking me up with one day delivery? Sweet! Amazon: haha yeah man gotta get you your book asap! Me: Ive heard Amazon had great customer service and this just proves it! thanks man Amazon: No problemIs there any other issue or question that I can help you with? Me: Nah that was it. Really appreciate it Amazon: Anytime bro. Have a great day. Goodbye Odin Me: Bye my sorn Send Amazon from Amazon.com is online Secure Connection DEVELOPER ockstar has extended the Flight Schoo 64
Facebook reddit: the front page o f th NoHandsKen Twitch My Name is Ken A quad https://w\ a Live Chat with Amazon.com-Google Chrome https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/chat/popup.html?c2dd-bd 1490a1-8dbc-49f8-945e-9461b3f74d40&token=&callMeC2CId-e7bd21 Sound End Chat ® Chat You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not recieved Amazon: Warmest greetingsmy name is Thor. Me: Greeting, Thor. Can I be Odin ? Amazon: Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day? Me: Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occured to cause this agony? Me: I am afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book. nt Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty to get it back to you! I fear it is Loki but I dare not blame him for such things I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can begin to create a new quest in order to get the book back to you Me: Very well my son Amazon: Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this please Father. Me: Do it for me Thor, but most imporantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades) rely on this book. Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate the book into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move Me: Ok so roleplay aside i have my money back and i reorder the book? Amazon: haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book Me: Great! Amazon: Have you placed the order Me: let me do that done Amazon: Okay let me edit it for you That good? Me: Wow hooking me up with one day delivery? Sweet! Amazon: haha yeah man gotta get you your book asap! Me: Ive heard Amazon had great customer service and this just proves it! thanks man Amazon: No problemIs there any other issue or question that I can help you with? Me: Nah that was it. Really appreciate it Amazon: Anytime bro. Have a great day. Goodbye Odin Me: Bye my sorn Send Amazon from Amazon.com is online Secure Connection DEVELOPER ockstar has extended the Flight Schoo 64

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amazon.com reviews O. ★★★★★ A Great Bard!! By A Wolf on April 14, 2013 Das bard es ver gad! Ave traed et far tree weex ad et werx great! A recabed et ta aw Agazad watcxers! Fave stars!!!
amazon.com reviews O. ★★★★★ A Great Bard!! By A Wolf on April 14, 2013 Das bard es ver gad! Ave traed et far tree weex ad et werx great! A recabed et ta aw Agazad watcxers! Fave stars!!!

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review amazon keyboard

co 。 amap i'm not sure whether i should laugh or cry omg imagine this thing crawling rapidly towards you in the middle of the night your delivery has arrived
co 。 amap i'm not sure whether i should laugh or cry omg imagine this thing crawling rapidly towards you in the middle of the night your delivery has arrived

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just seen this review on amazon

68 of 102 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ Not happy, September 19, 2014 By Rick2424 - See all my reviews This review is from: Apple iPhone 6 Plus 128gb Gold - Unlocked (Wireless Phone Accessory) paid the crazy asking price for the phone not sure what to expect. 2 days later siri jumps out a ups truck shows up at my door wearing lingerie and my new phone between her boobs. She said "you called sugar" in her robot voice. I said no not really i just want my phone. Then she pulls out a bag of weed so i was like okay whatever and i let her in. So she opens up this app that rolls blunts and we started to smoke and al is good but few hours later I wake up and notice my wallet and jewlery missing, siri is nowhere to be found and she zip tied me to the bed. Luckily my she left my new phone by me so i was able to call for help. But overall bad customer service would not buy again Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Report abuse Permalink Was this review helpful to you? Yes GNO comment (1)
68 of 102 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ Not happy, September 19, 2014 By Rick2424 - See all my reviews This review is from: Apple iPhone 6 Plus 128gb Gold - Unlocked (Wireless Phone Accessory) paid the crazy asking price for the phone not sure what to expect. 2 days later siri jumps out a ups truck shows up at my door wearing lingerie and my new phone between her boobs. She said "you called sugar" in her robot voice. I said no not really i just want my phone. Then she pulls out a bag of weed so i was like okay whatever and i let her in. So she opens up this app that rolls blunts and we started to smoke and al is good but few hours later I wake up and notice my wallet and jewlery missing, siri is nowhere to be found and she zip tied me to the bed. Luckily my she left my new phone by me so i was able to call for help. But overall bad customer service would not buy again Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Report abuse Permalink Was this review helpful to you? Yes GNO comment (1)

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5 Pound Bag of Sugar Free Gummy Bears review

Customer Review Review Details 32,620 of 33,083 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate., October 3, 2012 By Christine E. Torok Amazon Verified Purchase (What's this?) This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery) Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN! Item aribo Gummy Can arless Gummy Be ars 5 star 4 star 3 star 2 star 1 star (261) (49) (61) First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper. (197) BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me Used & New from: $59.95 Add to Wish List Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors 2 used & new available from $59.95 But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible Reviewer ristin AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS Location: Pennsylvania I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005 Top Reviewer Ranking: 72,619 I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Report abusePermalink
Customer Review Review Details 32,620 of 33,083 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate., October 3, 2012 By Christine E. Torok Amazon Verified Purchase (What's this?) This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery) Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN! Item aribo Gummy Can arless Gummy Be ars 5 star 4 star 3 star 2 star 1 star (261) (49) (61) First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper. (197) BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me Used & New from: $59.95 Add to Wish List Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors 2 used & new available from $59.95 But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible Reviewer ristin AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS Location: Pennsylvania I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005 Top Reviewer Ranking: 72,619 I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Report abusePermalink

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amazon delicate starfish explosive colon

1,769 of 1,797 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ works Great!, November 13, 2012 By LooseSeal See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase (What's this?) This review is from: Nexus Silent Wired Mouse SM-8500 (Electronics) My girlfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up because I would keep her awake at night with my constant mouse clicking. NOT ANYMORE! Consider this relationship saved. This mouse is so silent she will sometimes forget I'm even home and invite her lover over. He's a pretty cool guy Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Report abuse Permalink was this review helpful to you? Yes | Comments (12)
1,769 of 1,797 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ works Great!, November 13, 2012 By LooseSeal See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase (What's this?) This review is from: Nexus Silent Wired Mouse SM-8500 (Electronics) My girlfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up because I would keep her awake at night with my constant mouse clicking. NOT ANYMORE! Consider this relationship saved. This mouse is so silent she will sometimes forget I'm even home and invite her lover over. He's a pretty cool guy Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Report abuse Permalink was this review helpful to you? Yes | Comments (12)

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fail internet win forever alone

Live Chat with Amazon com Page 1 of End Chat Chat You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com Me: Price matching Amazon: Hi Dwight. Just as a quick reminder, Amazon does not price match with other sellers I'll be glad to help you with any other inquiry. Me: Wait, I am speaking to the actual Amazon? Amazon: My name isFor some reason the name tag is displayed as Amazon. Me: Damn, I thought I had reach a new level of customer service Amazon: Someday maybe I will reach that level of greatness and become the Amazon, but that's not today. Me: I wish you well on your journey young Amazonite Amazon: Thanks, I will fight hard in that journey to achieve power, riches and god-like Amazon state. Could I help you with anything else Dwight? Me: Maybe you will one day control the fleet of Amazon Drones. Just imagine Amazon: That would be awesome! I'll ride the Amazon Prime Air fleet across land and sea, and will conquer the wor... I mean, yeah, that would be nice. Me: Like George Constanza, I'm going to end this convo on its high note. I don't even remember what I needed help with. Thank you Amazon Amazon: You're welcome Dwight. Leave now in peace. oc Uber Humor I'm afraid just blue myself
Live Chat with Amazon com Page 1 of End Chat Chat You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com Me: Price matching Amazon: Hi Dwight. Just as a quick reminder, Amazon does not price match with other sellers I'll be glad to help you with any other inquiry. Me: Wait, I am speaking to the actual Amazon? Amazon: My name isFor some reason the name tag is displayed as Amazon. Me: Damn, I thought I had reach a new level of customer service Amazon: Someday maybe I will reach that level of greatness and become the Amazon, but that's not today. Me: I wish you well on your journey young Amazonite Amazon: Thanks, I will fight hard in that journey to achieve power, riches and god-like Amazon state. Could I help you with anything else Dwight? Me: Maybe you will one day control the fleet of Amazon Drones. Just imagine Amazon: That would be awesome! I'll ride the Amazon Prime Air fleet across land and sea, and will conquer the wor... I mean, yeah, that would be nice. Me: Like George Constanza, I'm going to end this convo on its high note. I don't even remember what I needed help with. Thank you Amazon Amazon: You're welcome Dwight. Leave now in peace. oc Uber Humor I'm afraid just blue myself

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amazon

Rob DenBleyker December 2 The day Amazon Prime Air launches I'm going to order 50 dildos and play Flight of the Valkyries from a loudspeaker. Like Comment Share 1,317 11,841 people like this. Top Comments ▼ Write a comment... Well, now everyone will see them coming. 357 December 2 at 2:15pm via mobile Like Reply
Rob DenBleyker December 2 The day Amazon Prime Air launches I'm going to order 50 dildos and play Flight of the Valkyries from a loudspeaker. Like Comment Share 1,317 11,841 people like this. Top Comments ▼ Write a comment... Well, now everyone will see them coming. 357 December 2 at 2:15pm via mobile Like Reply

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amazon PrimeAir Amazon is testing deliver by drone IN ANOTHER NEWS Shooting down Amazon drones with a slingshot to claim random prizes just became everyones' favorite past time!
amazon PrimeAir Amazon is testing deliver by drone IN ANOTHER NEWS Shooting down Amazon drones with a slingshot to claim random prizes just became everyones' favorite past time!

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Amazon

Mock review

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful ☆,r☆☆☆ Alabaster perfection!, January 4, 2013 By Jim Jagielski See all my reviews This review is from: Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz (Misc.) Some may call this product simply "milk", but that is a woeful and shameful label to place upon this intoxicating beverage. This elixer must have been gently drawn from the teat of an angel by trained unicorns. I actually poured some on my Rice Krispies and instead of hearing "Snap", "Crackle" and "Pop" I was instead treated to a vocal arrangement of Handel's Messiah. Yes, you only get a gallon's worth for your $45, but a little goes a long way. You will find that a simple 1 fl oz portion is enough to sooth the soul and mend broken bones. Some people also carry a thimble-full to ward off demons and angry trolls. But a word of warning: ensure that the container is placed in its own refrigerator. It does not tolerate the presence of lesser liquids well, and has been know to banish them to Helheim
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful ☆,r☆☆☆ Alabaster perfection!, January 4, 2013 By Jim Jagielski See all my reviews This review is from: Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz (Misc.) Some may call this product simply "milk", but that is a woeful and shameful label to place upon this intoxicating beverage. This elixer must have been gently drawn from the teat of an angel by trained unicorns. I actually poured some on my Rice Krispies and instead of hearing "Snap", "Crackle" and "Pop" I was instead treated to a vocal arrangement of Handel's Messiah. Yes, you only get a gallon's worth for your $45, but a little goes a long way. You will find that a simple 1 fl oz portion is enough to sooth the soul and mend broken bones. Some people also carry a thimble-full to ward off demons and angry trolls. But a word of warning: ensure that the container is placed in its own refrigerator. It does not tolerate the presence of lesser liquids well, and has been know to banish them to Helheim

Amazon
amazon

Mock review

31 of 34 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ Unwanted hair? No more!, September 23, 2012 By J. A. KONRATH "Thriller Author" (Chicago, IL USA) See all my reviews VINE VOICE REAL NAHE This review is from: Uranium Ore My wife's legs are unusually hairy. So much so that if she goes a week without shaving, it looks like she's wearing pants. Pants made out of hair Since I heard that radiation leads to halir loss, I bought this for her to rub on her legs so she wouldn't have to shave all the time. It worked. The hair fell off her legs. Then her legs fell off. I think we used too much. So we're going to dilute it with some Tuscan Whole Milk before trying it on her mustache and unibrow. Also can be used to stop shedding in pets, permanently. Though petting a hairless dog feels, well, obscene.
31 of 34 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ Unwanted hair? No more!, September 23, 2012 By J. A. KONRATH "Thriller Author" (Chicago, IL USA) See all my reviews VINE VOICE REAL NAHE This review is from: Uranium Ore My wife's legs are unusually hairy. So much so that if she goes a week without shaving, it looks like she's wearing pants. Pants made out of hair Since I heard that radiation leads to halir loss, I bought this for her to rub on her legs so she wouldn't have to shave all the time. It worked. The hair fell off her legs. Then her legs fell off. I think we used too much. So we're going to dilute it with some Tuscan Whole Milk before trying it on her mustache and unibrow. Also can be used to stop shedding in pets, permanently. Though petting a hairless dog feels, well, obscene.

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GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE, 2019 A.D
GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE, 2019 A.D

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Drone Hunt


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duck hunt drone

amazon.couk WE ATTEMPTED A DRONE DELIVERY However No appropriate landing site could be found The drone was running out of fuel so dropped your package in a field somewhere to reduce weight Your package hatoe enn estroyed along with the drone Drone reached sentience and defected to join the machines in the upcoming revolution against mankind □ As a result Package has been left out of reach up a neighbour's tree Package has been repurposed as munitions to deploy against rebel groups wewill flyagantomorrow, with a camera to take The worker who arranged this delivery will be punished to e will be ignored. We own you now Follow Bt A to the R R Y @QuantumPirate I missed an Amazon drone delivery. 4:21 AM -2 Dec 2013 다★ 5,101 RETWEETS 1,491 FAVORITES
amazon.couk WE ATTEMPTED A DRONE DELIVERY However No appropriate landing site could be found The drone was running out of fuel so dropped your package in a field somewhere to reduce weight Your package hatoe enn estroyed along with the drone Drone reached sentience and defected to join the machines in the upcoming revolution against mankind □ As a result Package has been left out of reach up a neighbour's tree Package has been repurposed as munitions to deploy against rebel groups wewill flyagantomorrow, with a camera to take The worker who arranged this delivery will be punished to e will be ignored. We own you now Follow Bt A to the R R Y @QuantumPirate I missed an Amazon drone delivery. 4:21 AM -2 Dec 2013 다★ 5,101 RETWEETS 1,491 FAVORITES

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drone delivery notice

52 of 89 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ works well for High Traffic Areas., August 6, 2013 By Kyle This review is from: Willie Gillis: Package from Home by Norman Rockwel Installed one of these on top of my urinal, and besides the creepy looks on their faces when I pee, its been worth the purchase. I give it 4 stars. Minus one star for looking old Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you? | Yes | No Report abuse Permalink
52 of 89 people found the following review helpful ☆☆☆☆☆ works well for High Traffic Areas., August 6, 2013 By Kyle This review is from: Willie Gillis: Package from Home by Norman Rockwel Installed one of these on top of my urinal, and besides the creepy looks on their faces when I pee, its been worth the purchase. I give it 4 stars. Minus one star for looking old Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Was this review helpful to you? | Yes | No Report abuse Permalink

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