/tg/ - Images

Sorted By:

Now that's some spooky shit

File 1289927834.gif-(246 KB, 500x441, skeletons.gif) undead thread Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:17 No.12818985 Hey gents, let's talk about those zany undead Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:18 No. 12819002 bump Anonymous 1 1/16/10(Tue)12:22 No. 1281 9026 f--- yeah undead. lemme find some saved stuff while i do that, thread about awesome liches: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1513305/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:25 No. 12819047 >Obligritory mention of skeletons, due to not having muscles, moving via magic. Ergo there is no physical limit (bar friction breaking them) on how fast they can move their arms. Logically you can wear their arms down to blades. Logically they can spin their arms fast enough to generate lft ying skeleton blenders Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:40 No.12819172 File 1289929226.gif-(11 KB, 420x522, death-knight.gif) Liches man they are the best COMMISSAR FORON !INbubB9jqLRJ 11/16/10(Tue)12:46 No.12819216 File 1289929580 ipg-(20 KB, 214x271, 1274204235078.jpg) 12819047 >Everything you just said >Its glorious Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:07 No.12819386 So wait, if they can move real fast (improved initative, skitter, s--- like that) would it be faster for them to run or cartwheel? Actually, would it be faster just to get like some skeleton quadrapeds or something and nail some lances to their backs. Prehaps fill their ribs with lead to make them heavy and just make em RAM THE F--- outta castles? With a decent run up and some leg reinforcing I could easy see one hitting 100mph Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:10 No.12819414 P> >cartwheeling skeletons My players would emit the power of a thousand WTFs the instant I unveil that Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:24 No.12821640 7 KB, 640x400, fly skeletons.jpg) THIlIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPP!!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:26 No.12821659 >12821640 F--- YES! YOU'RE POST IS GOOD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL GOOD!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:29 No.12821693 >12821640 I love /tg/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:32 No.12821714 P> Did somebody say... SKELECOPTERS!? □ CommissarMega !EJmdGZdQ+SD 11/16/10(Tue)17:34 No.12821743 I swear if i ever saw skelecopters. I would die. Not because they chopped me to pieces but because l was laughing so hard I couldn't breath Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:35 No.12821754 File 1289946922 ipg-(28 KB, 472x454, Respek_Knuckles.jpg) Spo >12819047 P> uckl
File 1289927834.gif-(246 KB, 500x441, skeletons.gif) undead thread Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:17 No.12818985 Hey gents, let's talk about those zany undead Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:18 No. 12819002 bump Anonymous 1 1/16/10(Tue)12:22 No. 1281 9026 f--- yeah undead. lemme find some saved stuff while i do that, thread about awesome liches: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1513305/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:25 No. 12819047 >Obligritory mention of skeletons, due to not having muscles, moving via magic. Ergo there is no physical limit (bar friction breaking them) on how fast they can move their arms. Logically you can wear their arms down to blades. Logically they can spin their arms fast enough to generate lft ying skeleton blenders Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:40 No.12819172 File 1289929226.gif-(11 KB, 420x522, death-knight.gif) Liches man they are the best COMMISSAR FORON !INbubB9jqLRJ 11/16/10(Tue)12:46 No.12819216 File 1289929580 ipg-(20 KB, 214x271, 1274204235078.jpg) 12819047 >Everything you just said >Its glorious Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:07 No.12819386 So wait, if they can move real fast (improved initative, skitter, s--- like that) would it be faster for them to run or cartwheel? Actually, would it be faster just to get like some skeleton quadrapeds or something and nail some lances to their backs. Prehaps fill their ribs with lead to make them heavy and just make em RAM THE F--- outta castles? With a decent run up and some leg reinforcing I could easy see one hitting 100mph Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:10 No.12819414 P> >cartwheeling skeletons My players would emit the power of a thousand WTFs the instant I unveil that Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:24 No.12821640 7 KB, 640x400, fly skeletons.jpg) THIlIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPP!!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:26 No.12821659 >12821640 F--- YES! YOU'RE POST IS GOOD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL GOOD!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:29 No.12821693 >12821640 I love /tg/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:32 No.12821714 P> Did somebody say... SKELECOPTERS!? □ CommissarMega !EJmdGZdQ+SD 11/16/10(Tue)17:34 No.12821743 I swear if i ever saw skelecopters. I would die. Not because they chopped me to pieces but because l was laughing so hard I couldn't breath Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:35 No.12821754 File 1289946922 ipg-(28 KB, 472x454, Respek_Knuckles.jpg) Spo >12819047 P> uckl

/tg/
/tg/ 8chan 4chan greentext traditional games

hippy elementals

File 1266499895.ipg-(112 KB, 850x701, L_hottie.jpg) 「Hippy Fire Elementals Anonymous 02/18/10(Thu)08:31 No.8151384 So the Elemental Plane of Fire is composed of fire, things that are on fire, and fire elementals. Elementals don't need to eat or breathe, but according to the Manual of the Planes, they sustain each other by symbiotically setting each other on fire. Think about that for a minute. It doesn't make thermodynamic sense, sure, but there's something beautiful there. When you set someone on fire, it's a thing of pure altruism-you don't know for sure that they're going to set you on fire back, but you do it anyway. You do it because they need it, because it feels good, and because even when you set someone else on fire, you're still on fire It's a lot like being in love Fire Elementals love the whole world. They come from a perfect paradise, a world filled with infinite love, and they just want to share it. When they get summoned to our cold, grey world, filled with people walking around unloved, it just makes them sad. Were so obsessed with our expensive suits and big houses and fast cars- you don't need any of those things when you're in love! And even when we do let love into our lives, it's in tiny doses in fixed places and certain times. Love wants to be free! They don't let stupid things like color or creed or gender or species get in the way: they love everybody It's because love is the most natural, and the most powerful thing in the world.

/tg/
8chan 4chan /tg/ greentext traditional games

old man henderson 2

Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:04 No. 10967443 Technically the theft of the Yacht came first, and is connected to the dropping, so ll start there Old Man Henderson, with his erstwhile companion Jimmy (the Jock) and his Friends William Brocklaw, a once humble bartender (The now dead Detective's player. Old Man Henderson bumed down his bar on accident and blamed it on the cultists. One bluff check later and he in the Posse.), and Simon Breckenridge, British Spy (the Professors player, now six characters in. And yes, they were more or less all killed by Old Man Henderson) Old Man Henderson had discovered that there was not one cult to the Elder Gods, but several. This complicated his search for his gnomes/crusade. He decided to enlist help in making the problem solve itself Using his contacts, Simon discovered that a Influential Cultist of Hastur was coming to town to try and figure out how an Avatar of his god was killed (more on this in the tanker truck incident). He also located the exact dock on which he would be landing his boat Jimmy, meanwhile discovered the home of the head of the local Cthulhu cults was at: a Penthouse suite downtown. A plan was hatched Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:12 No.10967518 2210967443 Old Man Henderson used all of his cunning to steal a Military Cargo Helicopter (read: Shuroken'd the pilot and flew off), and hid it in an abandoned warehouse Jimmy, and Will set up a VERY EXPENSIVE surround sound speaker system at the docks, while Simon made and planted a lot of smoke bombs That night, the Yacht pulled in, and we made our move. Right as Simon maneuvered the Helicopter over the docks, we set off the Smoke bombs and activated the Speakers. On one side: A Fifty piece Marching band playing 'God Save the Queen at max volume, and on the other the audio from the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. Imagine, for a moment what being on the dock would have been like Utter. F------. CHAOS. □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:21 No 10967608 2210967518 l jumped down from the Helicopter onto the boat, and rigged it to lift out of there. During the course of which I ran into the Cultist guy and Ninja Kicked him in the head, knocking him tail-over-teakettle and off the boat. I later leamed that he broke his neck in the fall Damned convenient, otherwise he might have have been able to ID me We then lifted the boat out of there, switched to out secondary audio on all sides (My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion. I was in a Vengeful mood, gnome stealing bastards.) So when the cultists finally got the smoke to clear their Yacht was gone, their leader dead, and Celine Dion was stuck in their heads. Not the best of days. Then we went across town, in a stolen Military Cargo chopper, carrying a 40t Yacht, and 'parked the helicopter above the penthouse, with the Yacht about 80ft above it. Then we cut the line, jumped out with our parachutes, and watched the Yacht ruin a dinner party while placing bets on whether the military would save the chopper, blow it up, or if it would just hover there until it ran out of fuel. □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:44 No. 10967829 10957608 Now, time for what will forever be known as The tanker truck incident. Notice The is capitalized. This is because no matter what incidents in the future may invove tanker trucks, this is the definitive one It started out innocently enough, Old Man Henderson left the stakeout in a van outside the evil cult's meeting place to go get some hooch. The only people now there are the Detective, and James Fink (the professors second character). Jimmy was gone because it was a school night (Old Man Henderson was a bad influence, but damned if he didn't have the kids best interests at heart.) The cultists see me leaving (1 had a very distinct appearance, after all. VERY USEFUL in scoring TPKs.), and discover my friends spying on them. The detective gets a pretty GAR death, and James dies like a bitch. But not yet. Im on my way back, walking along. The Detective and James had been brought inside as part of a ritual to give Hastur an Avatar in our world (He had been banished, and the only way he could come here is via a loophole). He could only use people who knew he existed and had thwarted him trice as a host, and then he had to make them drink the life-blood of their closest friend to make the binding permanent In case youre wondering. permanent binding GAME OVER □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:53 No 10967917 2210967829 The first part of the ritual was completed, but before Hastur could take control, the detective broke James Shackles and he tried to run He made it as far as the street, when the detective(Now Hastur) caught up with him, part demon-form. Now where this church (for lack of a better term) was located, was at the end of the road on a T shaped intersection. There was a gas-station about three blocks away, which is where Old Man Henderson was while this was going down. Old Man Henderson sees the s--- hit the fan, and steals a Half-full tanker truck that WAS refilling the station's holding tank. While I bring the truck up to ramming speed, I toss a 12 lb block of C-4 in the passenger seat and rig the detonator to the airbags. Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:02 No 10968042 22 10967917 Old Man Henderson then took a bracing shot of whiskey jammed a knife through the gas pedal, then jumped of of the truck onto his heelies Ye$, he modified his combat boots to have heelie$ swear to god I had not planned this to happen, the heelies just sounded like something f------ ridiculous and in character) He watched the Truck ram the detective into the church, the blew him and all the cultists to Kingdom Come. The truck also killed James By running him over That's when the back-trail ignited, fire going all the way back to the gas-station and destroying it, continuing my streak of accidentally destroying anything that might lead people back to Old Man I took a moment to call Jimmey Henderson here. Figured out what the nasties are weak against What's that Mr. Henderson?" "Point blank annihilation." click Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09 04 No. 10968068 Does anyone care If I throw up Hell on lce? It's my favorite of the bunch, but if nobody cares I'll save it for later □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:07 No. 10968114 Almost forgot to mention, there was a bar right next to the gas station called the Homble Revelation, which was the one that Will had owned □ Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09:08 No 10968118 f-----' do you crazy son of a bitch Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09:09 No.10968126 2210968068 For the love of god. MORE Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:18 No.10968224 210958118 Okie-doke We were in the end-game, with zombies and shoggoths chasing us. I managed to get Jimmy Disappeared, so it was Old Man Henderson, Simon and Will going to the final strong-point we had An abandoned Hockey Stadium. On the way there, we had rammed through a small home-and-garden store in our truck. And when we arrived, we started barring the doors and windows, when I noticed something. Our trip through the store had netted us a passenger a single lawn gnome Somehow, I knew right then that this was it. No lucky tum of fate, no Deus Ex Machina.. Old Man Henderson was going to die But Id be damned if it wouldn't be the best f------ last stand ever I then revealed to the GM that Henderson was a World Champion Figure skater, Hockey player, and golfer The Backstory of Doom got one final use We had got almost all of the doors barricaded, but the zombie/shoggoth army kicked in the last door and got Simon, Will was pulled off the Zamboni after he manage to throw the Crate onto the ice The crate full of exploding hockey pucks Lasted a couple of minutes while blasting Bust A Move (Young MC) before the situation resolved into totally f-----. I switched to the next track as I yelled "HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR! The next track came on, it was the Canadian national anthem, which Old Man Henderson began to sing proudly, at the top of his lungs I then threw out the three pieces of knowledge that marked Old Man Henderson's Blaze Of Glory 1: Calling Hastur's name 3 times will summon him, but only if the one who is truest foe at the time calls it (guess who). 2 When an elder God is summoned from beyond, they suffer a sort of summoning sickness. They're still unbelievably strong, but can be killed FOREVER if you hit them hard enough. 3 The building had enough explosives wired to make Michal Bay blush. And that my friends, is the tale of how Old Man Henderson won Call of Cthuhlu Anonymous 07/07/10(Wed)20:26 No.10998795 I hereby suggest the use of "Henderson magnitude scale of plot derailment quake" to be used from hereon. 1 full Henderson rates as total derailment"
Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:04 No. 10967443 Technically the theft of the Yacht came first, and is connected to the dropping, so ll start there Old Man Henderson, with his erstwhile companion Jimmy (the Jock) and his Friends William Brocklaw, a once humble bartender (The now dead Detective's player. Old Man Henderson bumed down his bar on accident and blamed it on the cultists. One bluff check later and he in the Posse.), and Simon Breckenridge, British Spy (the Professors player, now six characters in. And yes, they were more or less all killed by Old Man Henderson) Old Man Henderson had discovered that there was not one cult to the Elder Gods, but several. This complicated his search for his gnomes/crusade. He decided to enlist help in making the problem solve itself Using his contacts, Simon discovered that a Influential Cultist of Hastur was coming to town to try and figure out how an Avatar of his god was killed (more on this in the tanker truck incident). He also located the exact dock on which he would be landing his boat Jimmy, meanwhile discovered the home of the head of the local Cthulhu cults was at: a Penthouse suite downtown. A plan was hatched Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:12 No.10967518 2210967443 Old Man Henderson used all of his cunning to steal a Military Cargo Helicopter (read: Shuroken'd the pilot and flew off), and hid it in an abandoned warehouse Jimmy, and Will set up a VERY EXPENSIVE surround sound speaker system at the docks, while Simon made and planted a lot of smoke bombs That night, the Yacht pulled in, and we made our move. Right as Simon maneuvered the Helicopter over the docks, we set off the Smoke bombs and activated the Speakers. On one side: A Fifty piece Marching band playing 'God Save the Queen at max volume, and on the other the audio from the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. Imagine, for a moment what being on the dock would have been like Utter. F------. CHAOS. □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:21 No 10967608 2210967518 l jumped down from the Helicopter onto the boat, and rigged it to lift out of there. During the course of which I ran into the Cultist guy and Ninja Kicked him in the head, knocking him tail-over-teakettle and off the boat. I later leamed that he broke his neck in the fall Damned convenient, otherwise he might have have been able to ID me We then lifted the boat out of there, switched to out secondary audio on all sides (My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion. I was in a Vengeful mood, gnome stealing bastards.) So when the cultists finally got the smoke to clear their Yacht was gone, their leader dead, and Celine Dion was stuck in their heads. Not the best of days. Then we went across town, in a stolen Military Cargo chopper, carrying a 40t Yacht, and 'parked the helicopter above the penthouse, with the Yacht about 80ft above it. Then we cut the line, jumped out with our parachutes, and watched the Yacht ruin a dinner party while placing bets on whether the military would save the chopper, blow it up, or if it would just hover there until it ran out of fuel. □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:44 No. 10967829 10957608 Now, time for what will forever be known as The tanker truck incident. Notice The is capitalized. This is because no matter what incidents in the future may invove tanker trucks, this is the definitive one It started out innocently enough, Old Man Henderson left the stakeout in a van outside the evil cult's meeting place to go get some hooch. The only people now there are the Detective, and James Fink (the professors second character). Jimmy was gone because it was a school night (Old Man Henderson was a bad influence, but damned if he didn't have the kids best interests at heart.) The cultists see me leaving (1 had a very distinct appearance, after all. VERY USEFUL in scoring TPKs.), and discover my friends spying on them. The detective gets a pretty GAR death, and James dies like a bitch. But not yet. Im on my way back, walking along. The Detective and James had been brought inside as part of a ritual to give Hastur an Avatar in our world (He had been banished, and the only way he could come here is via a loophole). He could only use people who knew he existed and had thwarted him trice as a host, and then he had to make them drink the life-blood of their closest friend to make the binding permanent In case youre wondering. permanent binding GAME OVER □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)08:53 No 10967917 2210967829 The first part of the ritual was completed, but before Hastur could take control, the detective broke James Shackles and he tried to run He made it as far as the street, when the detective(Now Hastur) caught up with him, part demon-form. Now where this church (for lack of a better term) was located, was at the end of the road on a T shaped intersection. There was a gas-station about three blocks away, which is where Old Man Henderson was while this was going down. Old Man Henderson sees the s--- hit the fan, and steals a Half-full tanker truck that WAS refilling the station's holding tank. While I bring the truck up to ramming speed, I toss a 12 lb block of C-4 in the passenger seat and rig the detonator to the airbags. Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:02 No 10968042 22 10967917 Old Man Henderson then took a bracing shot of whiskey jammed a knife through the gas pedal, then jumped of of the truck onto his heelies Ye$, he modified his combat boots to have heelie$ swear to god I had not planned this to happen, the heelies just sounded like something f------ ridiculous and in character) He watched the Truck ram the detective into the church, the blew him and all the cultists to Kingdom Come. The truck also killed James By running him over That's when the back-trail ignited, fire going all the way back to the gas-station and destroying it, continuing my streak of accidentally destroying anything that might lead people back to Old Man I took a moment to call Jimmey Henderson here. Figured out what the nasties are weak against What's that Mr. Henderson?" "Point blank annihilation." click Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09 04 No. 10968068 Does anyone care If I throw up Hell on lce? It's my favorite of the bunch, but if nobody cares I'll save it for later □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:07 No. 10968114 Almost forgot to mention, there was a bar right next to the gas station called the Homble Revelation, which was the one that Will had owned □ Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09:08 No 10968118 f-----' do you crazy son of a bitch Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)09:09 No.10968126 2210968068 For the love of god. MORE Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)09:18 No.10968224 210958118 Okie-doke We were in the end-game, with zombies and shoggoths chasing us. I managed to get Jimmy Disappeared, so it was Old Man Henderson, Simon and Will going to the final strong-point we had An abandoned Hockey Stadium. On the way there, we had rammed through a small home-and-garden store in our truck. And when we arrived, we started barring the doors and windows, when I noticed something. Our trip through the store had netted us a passenger a single lawn gnome Somehow, I knew right then that this was it. No lucky tum of fate, no Deus Ex Machina.. Old Man Henderson was going to die But Id be damned if it wouldn't be the best f------ last stand ever I then revealed to the GM that Henderson was a World Champion Figure skater, Hockey player, and golfer The Backstory of Doom got one final use We had got almost all of the doors barricaded, but the zombie/shoggoth army kicked in the last door and got Simon, Will was pulled off the Zamboni after he manage to throw the Crate onto the ice The crate full of exploding hockey pucks Lasted a couple of minutes while blasting Bust A Move (Young MC) before the situation resolved into totally f-----. I switched to the next track as I yelled "HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR! The next track came on, it was the Canadian national anthem, which Old Man Henderson began to sing proudly, at the top of his lungs I then threw out the three pieces of knowledge that marked Old Man Henderson's Blaze Of Glory 1: Calling Hastur's name 3 times will summon him, but only if the one who is truest foe at the time calls it (guess who). 2 When an elder God is summoned from beyond, they suffer a sort of summoning sickness. They're still unbelievably strong, but can be killed FOREVER if you hit them hard enough. 3 The building had enough explosives wired to make Michal Bay blush. And that my friends, is the tale of how Old Man Henderson won Call of Cthuhlu Anonymous 07/07/10(Wed)20:26 No.10998795 I hereby suggest the use of "Henderson magnitude scale of plot derailment quake" to be used from hereon. 1 full Henderson rates as total derailment"

/tg/
/tg/ greentext 4chan 8chan traditional games

old man henderson 1, the man the legend

□ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:26 No 10966503 10966457 I hate de-railing a thread on accident. Who wants to hear the Tale of Old Man Henderson, the character who 'won Call of Cthulhu? □ Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)06:27 No.10966512 I do Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:36 No.10966618 10966512 Alright then, Id like to start by saying that the GM was a bastard that had it coming. B------- tactics to make everyone go crazy like a d6 with only 5 sides. No story, no reason; lose 10 sanity The others continued to allow this faggotry We were playing a moden day setting, with the other players being: A college professor who found a couple of stray pages of a copy of the Necronomicron and wanted to find out just what the hell it was, a detective who was investigating a missing persons case connected to the local cult, and a local athlete (I think it was football) trying to find out why some of his friends seemed so distant lately And then... There was Old Man Henderson, who was never given a first name Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:51 No. 10966785 2210966618 Old Man Henderson was already a little crazy, and blamed his life's misfortunes on Vietnam He never went to Vietnam, he was 12 in 74 (and I will be f------ amazed if anyone gets that reference) Old Man Henderson wore Combat boots, cargo shorts, and an open-front Hawaiian shirt with a wife-beater underneath. He was dyslexic, and had a lesser case of Schizophrenia; allowing him to assume that the reason he saw crazy s--- was because he WAS a little bit crazy. He had a grizzly adams beard and wore his hair in a mohawk. He never took off his aviator shades, for any reason He had a stuffed parrot on his shoulder named Rupert that he constantly asked for advice, while ignoring the other party members as convenient, assuming they were hallucinations He had a Automatic combat shot-gun he knew how to use He also had MEMORIZED the anarchist's cookbook. He started the game with a pre-existing hatred of religion, cutlery, and books. His motivation was that he thought that the cult had stole his lawn-gnomes; while he had actually donated them to a charity auction, got high, and forgot about it Most importantly, he had a 320 page backstory that justified EVERYTHING, from his casual knowledge of physics to his ability to speak Portuguese flawlessly You can just imagine the sort of Shenanigans that character was involved in. Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:19 No.10967074 >10966818 The point to having such a long backstory was three-fold: 1: to ensure the GM would never actually read it and 2: Since he would never read it except for in excerpts i pointed out to justify things, I could re-write and change things around completely at random without anyone noticing and MOST IMPORTANTLY 3. Convince everyone that I was serious about this character, and that it wasnt simply the game wrecking b------- that it was D------ yes, but he really did have it coming 2210966785 First outing of the group: The Detective was spying on the building of the cultists with a camera The Jock was parked nearby, waiting for the group to let out so he could snoop it out. The Professor had joined the cult to try and gain information. Old Man Henderson very calmly parked his car, got out holding the shotgun in clear view of anyone who happened to be looking (in this case, the detective and the Jock), strolled up to the front door and kicked it in. While everyone just kind of stopped in shocked silence for a moment, he leveled his Shotgun on the lead priest/cultist guy and yelled "MUCKLE DAMRED CULT! 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN ME WEE MEN!?!?" Did I mention that he had a Nigh Incomprehensible Scottish accent that came and went as he drank and/or as amused me? The leader couldn't understand my simple request to return my lawn gnomes (literally, you think what I typed is hard to understand? imagine it being slurred at you by a drunken Scotsman), he assumed I was trying to cast a spell at him in an elder tongue and summoned a shoggoth by murdering one of his fellows One Molotov And about 20 rounds later, the Shoggoth is dead, as is the cult leader, the Professor (he made the mistake of trying to make peace-maker mid murderous rampage) and about 10 assorted cultists Old Man Henderson then p----- on the Shoggoth's corpse, got back in his battered 92 Buick Century, and went home The whole event was over in about ten minutes game time and no-one thought to get the Buick's plates The building burned down shortly, along with about half the written plot, and every lead either of the other surviving players had. The GM called a break then to figure out how to fix and/or work around what I just did It only got crazier from there Anonymous 07/06/10 (Tue)07:36 No. 10967215 >10967086 I must have more, good sir! □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:37 No.10967237 210967215 Typing up the full exploits of Old Man Henderson would take too long, can I just give you the highlights reel? Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07:38 No.10967240 10967237 I will settle for that □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:47 No. 10967295 All Right-ey then Some of his finer moments include Dropping a Yacht onto a penthouse suite owned by Cthulhu Cultists. The stealing of said Yacht from cultists of Hastur, thereby starting a cultist gang-war The Tanker truck incident, and my personal Favorite Hell on Ice Which one do you want to hear about first? □ dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499t/ 07/06/10(Tue)0748 No 10967307 >10967295 Dropping the Yacht. Lets take it from the top. Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07 48 No. 10967308 210967295 Run through them all in order
□ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:26 No 10966503 10966457 I hate de-railing a thread on accident. Who wants to hear the Tale of Old Man Henderson, the character who 'won Call of Cthulhu? □ Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)06:27 No.10966512 I do Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:36 No.10966618 10966512 Alright then, Id like to start by saying that the GM was a bastard that had it coming. B------- tactics to make everyone go crazy like a d6 with only 5 sides. No story, no reason; lose 10 sanity The others continued to allow this faggotry We were playing a moden day setting, with the other players being: A college professor who found a couple of stray pages of a copy of the Necronomicron and wanted to find out just what the hell it was, a detective who was investigating a missing persons case connected to the local cult, and a local athlete (I think it was football) trying to find out why some of his friends seemed so distant lately And then... There was Old Man Henderson, who was never given a first name Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:51 No. 10966785 2210966618 Old Man Henderson was already a little crazy, and blamed his life's misfortunes on Vietnam He never went to Vietnam, he was 12 in 74 (and I will be f------ amazed if anyone gets that reference) Old Man Henderson wore Combat boots, cargo shorts, and an open-front Hawaiian shirt with a wife-beater underneath. He was dyslexic, and had a lesser case of Schizophrenia; allowing him to assume that the reason he saw crazy s--- was because he WAS a little bit crazy. He had a grizzly adams beard and wore his hair in a mohawk. He never took off his aviator shades, for any reason He had a stuffed parrot on his shoulder named Rupert that he constantly asked for advice, while ignoring the other party members as convenient, assuming they were hallucinations He had a Automatic combat shot-gun he knew how to use He also had MEMORIZED the anarchist's cookbook. He started the game with a pre-existing hatred of religion, cutlery, and books. His motivation was that he thought that the cult had stole his lawn-gnomes; while he had actually donated them to a charity auction, got high, and forgot about it Most importantly, he had a 320 page backstory that justified EVERYTHING, from his casual knowledge of physics to his ability to speak Portuguese flawlessly You can just imagine the sort of Shenanigans that character was involved in. Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:19 No.10967074 >10966818 The point to having such a long backstory was three-fold: 1: to ensure the GM would never actually read it and 2: Since he would never read it except for in excerpts i pointed out to justify things, I could re-write and change things around completely at random without anyone noticing and MOST IMPORTANTLY 3. Convince everyone that I was serious about this character, and that it wasnt simply the game wrecking b------- that it was D------ yes, but he really did have it coming 2210966785 First outing of the group: The Detective was spying on the building of the cultists with a camera The Jock was parked nearby, waiting for the group to let out so he could snoop it out. The Professor had joined the cult to try and gain information. Old Man Henderson very calmly parked his car, got out holding the shotgun in clear view of anyone who happened to be looking (in this case, the detective and the Jock), strolled up to the front door and kicked it in. While everyone just kind of stopped in shocked silence for a moment, he leveled his Shotgun on the lead priest/cultist guy and yelled "MUCKLE DAMRED CULT! 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN ME WEE MEN!?!?" Did I mention that he had a Nigh Incomprehensible Scottish accent that came and went as he drank and/or as amused me? The leader couldn't understand my simple request to return my lawn gnomes (literally, you think what I typed is hard to understand? imagine it being slurred at you by a drunken Scotsman), he assumed I was trying to cast a spell at him in an elder tongue and summoned a shoggoth by murdering one of his fellows One Molotov And about 20 rounds later, the Shoggoth is dead, as is the cult leader, the Professor (he made the mistake of trying to make peace-maker mid murderous rampage) and about 10 assorted cultists Old Man Henderson then p----- on the Shoggoth's corpse, got back in his battered 92 Buick Century, and went home The whole event was over in about ten minutes game time and no-one thought to get the Buick's plates The building burned down shortly, along with about half the written plot, and every lead either of the other surviving players had. The GM called a break then to figure out how to fix and/or work around what I just did It only got crazier from there Anonymous 07/06/10 (Tue)07:36 No. 10967215 >10967086 I must have more, good sir! □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:37 No.10967237 210967215 Typing up the full exploits of Old Man Henderson would take too long, can I just give you the highlights reel? Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07:38 No.10967240 10967237 I will settle for that □ Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)07:47 No. 10967295 All Right-ey then Some of his finer moments include Dropping a Yacht onto a penthouse suite owned by Cthulhu Cultists. The stealing of said Yacht from cultists of Hastur, thereby starting a cultist gang-war The Tanker truck incident, and my personal Favorite Hell on Ice Which one do you want to hear about first? □ dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499t/ 07/06/10(Tue)0748 No 10967307 >10967295 Dropping the Yacht. Lets take it from the top. Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)07 48 No. 10967308 210967295 Run through them all in order

/tg/
greentext old man henderson /tg/ 4chan 8chan traditional games

Bring me to your jamster

File: 1357624956718.ipg-(97 KB, 792x794, 7.jpg) □ Anonymous 01/08/13(Tue)01:02 No.22464072 Replies: 2222464185 > The dark Lichnomancer was prophecized to be defeated in battle by the Chosen One five hundred years ago > He failed, and the Lichnomancer cast the world into darkness > You live in squalor, in one of a few remaining scattered villages of the living, trying not to draw attention from the roving zombie armies that aren't even necessary, but still terrorize those "lucky" enough to still remain > You get about two hours of cloudly sunlight per day around noon, and the farmlands can barely support the village - the rest of the day there is nothing but magically-induced darkness in the sky > One day a black-and-gold carriage made out of painted human bones, its wheels made of metal spikes and human skulls, pulls into your village > Everyone locks themselves in their homes, but you were too slow > Ohshitohshitohshit > Carriage opens its door, out comes a twelve-foot lich with a flaming skull and black robes, his nine-foot tall stff with a gem the color of human souls on top > "HUMAN," he says in a voice that chills you to the bone. "I HAVE COME HERE FOR ONE REASON - AND ONE REASON ALONE. SUBMIT, AND I MAY SPARE THIS VILLAGE, IF ONLY OUT OF DISINTEREST IN IT." > Your knees wobbling > He slams his staff into the ground, and around you forms a basketball court out of blood, bones, sinnew, the nets made out of preserved muscles. The moon above blinks out of existence no, it just shrunk, so much that it now falls from the sky, and with a slam, lands, bouncing once, twice, three times in front of you , you croke out a "What?" > "I AM HERE TO JAM." the lichnomancer says, and picks up the ball. He throws it into your chest, and you find it's the weight of a normal basketball What do?
File: 1357624956718.ipg-(97 KB, 792x794, 7.jpg) □ Anonymous 01/08/13(Tue)01:02 No.22464072 Replies: 2222464185 > The dark Lichnomancer was prophecized to be defeated in battle by the Chosen One five hundred years ago > He failed, and the Lichnomancer cast the world into darkness > You live in squalor, in one of a few remaining scattered villages of the living, trying not to draw attention from the roving zombie armies that aren't even necessary, but still terrorize those "lucky" enough to still remain > You get about two hours of cloudly sunlight per day around noon, and the farmlands can barely support the village - the rest of the day there is nothing but magically-induced darkness in the sky > One day a black-and-gold carriage made out of painted human bones, its wheels made of metal spikes and human skulls, pulls into your village > Everyone locks themselves in their homes, but you were too slow > Ohshitohshitohshit > Carriage opens its door, out comes a twelve-foot lich with a flaming skull and black robes, his nine-foot tall stff with a gem the color of human souls on top > "HUMAN," he says in a voice that chills you to the bone. "I HAVE COME HERE FOR ONE REASON - AND ONE REASON ALONE. SUBMIT, AND I MAY SPARE THIS VILLAGE, IF ONLY OUT OF DISINTEREST IN IT." > Your knees wobbling > He slams his staff into the ground, and around you forms a basketball court out of blood, bones, sinnew, the nets made out of preserved muscles. The moon above blinks out of existence no, it just shrunk, so much that it now falls from the sky, and with a slam, lands, bouncing once, twice, three times in front of you , you croke out a "What?" > "I AM HERE TO JAM." the lichnomancer says, and picks up the ball. He throws it into your chest, and you find it's the weight of a normal basketball What do?

/tg/
/tg/ 4chan 8chan greentext come on an slam traditional games

the ulimate nercomancer

File: 1332209948.ipg-(175 KB, 1600x1022, Ultimate_Necromancer.jpg) Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:19 No.133208539 I was eating breakfast today and I dropped my spoon in the cereal. after I has fished it out I looked up and there, sitting across the table from me, was the Ultimate Necromancer. "l know you ain't lookin in there for yo virginity." I choked and lurched forward and spat a mouthful of milky cereal on the table. one of his skeletons walked into the kitchen. the skeleton was like "damn" Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:20 No.133208638 I was taking notes in class when the ultimate necromancer walked into the lecture hall and sat down next to me. I squirmed in my chair and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. nobody else seemed to notice his staff and cloak and the skeletons who shambled in afterwards and sat in the next row back. he took out a notebook and began taking notes. I looked over quickly to see what he was writing and it said "my skeleton's aint the only one in this hall with they bones showing. check it." I gasped and the lecturer suddenly spun around, dropped his chalk on the floor, and was like "damn! Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:21 No.133208730 I was out at the graveyard digging up a few coffins with the help of my two least rotted zombies when a dark figure in a velour robe walked up to me with a big-breasted vampire girl hanging off his arm. He lifted up his shades and looked me over head to toe before speaking. "Boy, you about as spooky as a closed-down Hot Topic store." He gestured to my magical staff. "Look at this s---, somewhere there's a playground with some sad-ass kids wondering where they tetherball pole went." One of the zombies was obviously agitated and started shambling towards the mysterious man. With the flick of a hand, he sent a cone of cold at the zombie, freezing its putrid flesh almost instantly. A quick thrust of his cane shattered the hapless creature instantly. "Look hard, son. That's the most ice you're ever gonna see in your unlife." He and his vampire companion turned to leave. Before disappearing into the shadows completely, he shouted into the night, "And your ceremonial robe look like a dishrag." I was stupefied and speechless. At that moment, I knew how my zombies felt. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:22 No.133208846 on the train yesterday I got on at gallivan square and was heading down towards ballpark when I saw a bum on the side of the road with a sign. I read it and it said "my skeleton called he wants he rags back" and I looked again at the bum and realized it was the ultimate necromancer! I gasped and tried to turn away but at the next stop who should get on but the ultimate necromancer himself. he sits down next to me and a few of his skeletons come on and stand around holding on to the railings. I'm shaking with fear and the sweat is pouring in torrents down my face and back. the necromancer leans in close to me and whispers in my ear "I've got a reanimated cat that's more p---- than you're ever gonna see." and I screamed, tore my clothes, leaped from the seat, slammed my head and arms on the plexiglass window until it broke, leaped through it from the moving train at sixty miles an hour, landed on the gravel beside the tracks, and tore at my face and eyes with my own hands while a bloodcurdling "DAMN!" forced its way from my throat. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:26 No.133209127 I was fighting some knights in a dank dungeon the other day and l'd just sent the last one toppling backwards into a pit of spikes when one of my dread zombies gestured to the darkness at the other end of the passage and groaned. I cast a light spell and who should it reveal but the ultimate necromancer. a skeleton with a wide pelvis was on his arm and his cane throbbed with dark energies. I shifted my weight from foot to foot. "that iron spike the only thing penetratin up in this fortress of solitude." my zombies thrashed about in agony and my face turned ashen. I moved to bring my staff to bear on him but he waved me away with a flick of his diamond-encrusted fingers. "you can bring the dead back to life but n---- you staff flaccid like a wet french fry." I screamed and the scream reverbated through the passages of the dungeon, bouncing off the mossy stone and returning to me twisted, garbled and from a thousand different directions. I sank to my knees and the ultimate necromancer passed by. from the spike pit, with his dying breath the knight struggled to lift his head and mumble "damn Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:27 No.133209238 I was in the club looking to on the floor. Even I can't bring that s--- back." I felt woozy. With a snap of his fingers, every girl in the joint heeled up behind him. "Let's roll up outta here, ladies. This scene's dead as hell anyway I held my hand to my rapidly thumping heart as The Ultimate Necromancer floated to the door. With one last glance, he flipped an old dusty grimoire at my feet. "Study up on some skills, lil man With trembling fingers, I reached for the book, only to have it jump up and slap me across the jaw. "Lesson one, bitch. You can't teach this s---." The spellbook took off after The Ultimate Necromancer, and his laughter rung in my ears p on a girl when I feel a cold tap on my shoulder. I'm shocked into shame to see it's none other than The Ultimate Necromancer. "Look at your game, rotting there □ Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:30 No.13320947 I stayed home because I was afraid of running into the ultimate necromancer so l watched TV. They were about to award the oscars. Than I saw him. The ultimate necromancer won in the category of best everything. He took his price and stared calmly into one of the cameras. He uttered I have a few words to say these words alone made me nervous Sweating and pantingI tried to grab the remote, but I couldnt find it. ..a little shoutout to a certain wannabe necromancer thats watching right now...who only reanimates the dead because he cant get laid with real girls...' my head starts to hurt. The taste of blood fills my mouth. "... but even the dead reject him.' My vision gets blurry and I start to vomit. '1 heard he dug his grandma out recently.' I start breathing histerically. 'So who knows...' I pee my pants in fear. I cant make a single clear thougt. '...if he lost his virginity to her.' I fell over and tried to gather my last bit of power, but no use The last thing im seeing... hundreds of zombie celbrities looking at the camera, moaning in unison 'damn' Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:32 No.133209606 One time I was praying to god hoping he would forgive me for my sins. The ultimate Necromancer came up from behind and whispered into my ear: 'there is no god. after death your flesh will decay and your corpse will rot. God is dead. and hes my slave now.' I looked up to the sky and heard a divine voice like thunder roar 'DAMN"
File: 1332209948.ipg-(175 KB, 1600x1022, Ultimate_Necromancer.jpg) Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:19 No.133208539 I was eating breakfast today and I dropped my spoon in the cereal. after I has fished it out I looked up and there, sitting across the table from me, was the Ultimate Necromancer. "l know you ain't lookin in there for yo virginity." I choked and lurched forward and spat a mouthful of milky cereal on the table. one of his skeletons walked into the kitchen. the skeleton was like "damn" Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:20 No.133208638 I was taking notes in class when the ultimate necromancer walked into the lecture hall and sat down next to me. I squirmed in my chair and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. nobody else seemed to notice his staff and cloak and the skeletons who shambled in afterwards and sat in the next row back. he took out a notebook and began taking notes. I looked over quickly to see what he was writing and it said "my skeleton's aint the only one in this hall with they bones showing. check it." I gasped and the lecturer suddenly spun around, dropped his chalk on the floor, and was like "damn! Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:21 No.133208730 I was out at the graveyard digging up a few coffins with the help of my two least rotted zombies when a dark figure in a velour robe walked up to me with a big-breasted vampire girl hanging off his arm. He lifted up his shades and looked me over head to toe before speaking. "Boy, you about as spooky as a closed-down Hot Topic store." He gestured to my magical staff. "Look at this s---, somewhere there's a playground with some sad-ass kids wondering where they tetherball pole went." One of the zombies was obviously agitated and started shambling towards the mysterious man. With the flick of a hand, he sent a cone of cold at the zombie, freezing its putrid flesh almost instantly. A quick thrust of his cane shattered the hapless creature instantly. "Look hard, son. That's the most ice you're ever gonna see in your unlife." He and his vampire companion turned to leave. Before disappearing into the shadows completely, he shouted into the night, "And your ceremonial robe look like a dishrag." I was stupefied and speechless. At that moment, I knew how my zombies felt. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:22 No.133208846 on the train yesterday I got on at gallivan square and was heading down towards ballpark when I saw a bum on the side of the road with a sign. I read it and it said "my skeleton called he wants he rags back" and I looked again at the bum and realized it was the ultimate necromancer! I gasped and tried to turn away but at the next stop who should get on but the ultimate necromancer himself. he sits down next to me and a few of his skeletons come on and stand around holding on to the railings. I'm shaking with fear and the sweat is pouring in torrents down my face and back. the necromancer leans in close to me and whispers in my ear "I've got a reanimated cat that's more p---- than you're ever gonna see." and I screamed, tore my clothes, leaped from the seat, slammed my head and arms on the plexiglass window until it broke, leaped through it from the moving train at sixty miles an hour, landed on the gravel beside the tracks, and tore at my face and eyes with my own hands while a bloodcurdling "DAMN!" forced its way from my throat. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:26 No.133209127 I was fighting some knights in a dank dungeon the other day and l'd just sent the last one toppling backwards into a pit of spikes when one of my dread zombies gestured to the darkness at the other end of the passage and groaned. I cast a light spell and who should it reveal but the ultimate necromancer. a skeleton with a wide pelvis was on his arm and his cane throbbed with dark energies. I shifted my weight from foot to foot. "that iron spike the only thing penetratin up in this fortress of solitude." my zombies thrashed about in agony and my face turned ashen. I moved to bring my staff to bear on him but he waved me away with a flick of his diamond-encrusted fingers. "you can bring the dead back to life but n---- you staff flaccid like a wet french fry." I screamed and the scream reverbated through the passages of the dungeon, bouncing off the mossy stone and returning to me twisted, garbled and from a thousand different directions. I sank to my knees and the ultimate necromancer passed by. from the spike pit, with his dying breath the knight struggled to lift his head and mumble "damn Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:27 No.133209238 I was in the club looking to on the floor. Even I can't bring that s--- back." I felt woozy. With a snap of his fingers, every girl in the joint heeled up behind him. "Let's roll up outta here, ladies. This scene's dead as hell anyway I held my hand to my rapidly thumping heart as The Ultimate Necromancer floated to the door. With one last glance, he flipped an old dusty grimoire at my feet. "Study up on some skills, lil man With trembling fingers, I reached for the book, only to have it jump up and slap me across the jaw. "Lesson one, bitch. You can't teach this s---." The spellbook took off after The Ultimate Necromancer, and his laughter rung in my ears p on a girl when I feel a cold tap on my shoulder. I'm shocked into shame to see it's none other than The Ultimate Necromancer. "Look at your game, rotting there □ Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:30 No.13320947 I stayed home because I was afraid of running into the ultimate necromancer so l watched TV. They were about to award the oscars. Than I saw him. The ultimate necromancer won in the category of best everything. He took his price and stared calmly into one of the cameras. He uttered I have a few words to say these words alone made me nervous Sweating and pantingI tried to grab the remote, but I couldnt find it. ..a little shoutout to a certain wannabe necromancer thats watching right now...who only reanimates the dead because he cant get laid with real girls...' my head starts to hurt. The taste of blood fills my mouth. "... but even the dead reject him.' My vision gets blurry and I start to vomit. '1 heard he dug his grandma out recently.' I start breathing histerically. 'So who knows...' I pee my pants in fear. I cant make a single clear thougt. '...if he lost his virginity to her.' I fell over and tried to gather my last bit of power, but no use The last thing im seeing... hundreds of zombie celbrities looking at the camera, moaning in unison 'damn' Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:32 No.133209606 One time I was praying to god hoping he would forgive me for my sins. The ultimate Necromancer came up from behind and whispered into my ear: 'there is no god. after death your flesh will decay and your corpse will rot. God is dead. and hes my slave now.' I looked up to the sky and heard a divine voice like thunder roar 'DAMN"

/tg/
greentext 4chan 8chan /tg/ traditional games

we were the that guy anon

□ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677063 團困 I recall a group almost ten years ago where "THAT GUY" was a relatively new player to our group and we'd agreed the game was going to be about mid-high fantasy D&D heroics So he shows up with this drunken old man lout of a fighter. Meanwhile we're all playing young kind of weeaboo anime hero types. We tolerated him and how often he'd talk about how drunk, smelly, and generally obnoxious his character was. He would use metagame knowledge to make fun of our characters in character, laughing at us when we'd get knocked out, calling us cowards when we failed our fear checks, and the DM would take pity on us and just kind of give us "let it slide" looks and let us take rerolls. We'd bitch about it between sessions and we sort of grew to hate the guy as a player, His character would go onto long diatribes about dungeons and gold and how useless we were and we'd get into hour long arguments where the DM would constantly have to remind us all to "keep it IC. Anyway this campaign goes on for at least a year, and the storyline is kind of climaxing and a DMNPC gets kidnapped, so after another argument session we get convinced by THAT GUY" to take a suicide mission and storm a castle, and he's basically yelling at us IRL we have to do it. □ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677068 5677063 So when we agree, he leaves the room with the DM for a few minutes, and we assume this is all some metaplot how he's going to f--- us over and steal our s---. They come back in as if nothing had happened. Session continues but we're all on guard, assuming something is up. We storm the castle or whatever, and have a lot of fun, not really noticing that this guy has stopped being so obnoxious. He hasnt once mentioned how his character reeks of whiskey or onions or whatever, though he wastes a good five minutes explaining how his character shaved his beard. Whatever, we just assume the DM talked to him about how it was annoying us. Epic battles ensue and Fast forward to face off with the BBEG, some Lich thing, and the fight isnt going so well We're getting spanked, our Cleric is down, and Mr. Fighter has a haste and out of nowhere he goes, "I rush to Cedric (the Cleric) and slap him 'GET UP YOU COWARD" At this point I groan but the DM is like "Cedric, you're back up with XX HP." Then Mr. "Fighter" goes, "I turn to the Lich and I smite him." And suddenly it clicked for all of us. F----- had been playing a Paladin the entire time. His insults were his lay-on-hands and calling us out as cowards were his Anti-fear aura. He wasn't "That Guy," "we" were "that guy" and we'd just been absolutely out roleplayed for almost a year
□ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677063 團困 I recall a group almost ten years ago where "THAT GUY" was a relatively new player to our group and we'd agreed the game was going to be about mid-high fantasy D&D heroics So he shows up with this drunken old man lout of a fighter. Meanwhile we're all playing young kind of weeaboo anime hero types. We tolerated him and how often he'd talk about how drunk, smelly, and generally obnoxious his character was. He would use metagame knowledge to make fun of our characters in character, laughing at us when we'd get knocked out, calling us cowards when we failed our fear checks, and the DM would take pity on us and just kind of give us "let it slide" looks and let us take rerolls. We'd bitch about it between sessions and we sort of grew to hate the guy as a player, His character would go onto long diatribes about dungeons and gold and how useless we were and we'd get into hour long arguments where the DM would constantly have to remind us all to "keep it IC. Anyway this campaign goes on for at least a year, and the storyline is kind of climaxing and a DMNPC gets kidnapped, so after another argument session we get convinced by THAT GUY" to take a suicide mission and storm a castle, and he's basically yelling at us IRL we have to do it. □ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677068 5677063 So when we agree, he leaves the room with the DM for a few minutes, and we assume this is all some metaplot how he's going to f--- us over and steal our s---. They come back in as if nothing had happened. Session continues but we're all on guard, assuming something is up. We storm the castle or whatever, and have a lot of fun, not really noticing that this guy has stopped being so obnoxious. He hasnt once mentioned how his character reeks of whiskey or onions or whatever, though he wastes a good five minutes explaining how his character shaved his beard. Whatever, we just assume the DM talked to him about how it was annoying us. Epic battles ensue and Fast forward to face off with the BBEG, some Lich thing, and the fight isnt going so well We're getting spanked, our Cleric is down, and Mr. Fighter has a haste and out of nowhere he goes, "I rush to Cedric (the Cleric) and slap him 'GET UP YOU COWARD" At this point I groan but the DM is like "Cedric, you're back up with XX HP." Then Mr. "Fighter" goes, "I turn to the Lich and I smite him." And suddenly it clicked for all of us. F----- had been playing a Paladin the entire time. His insults were his lay-on-hands and calling us out as cowards were his Anti-fear aura. He wasn't "That Guy," "we" were "that guy" and we'd just been absolutely out roleplayed for almost a year

/tg/
greentext /tg/ 4chan 8chan

old men don't belong on the battlefield

□ Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)06:37 No.18173840 So l guess I kind of have a story of a possible furfag. Greentexting cause I suck at writing and this is like my third post ever on 4chan. >DM friend invites me to play some 3.5, asks if I know anyone else that would want to. >Bring my friend who I've known forever. Group is me, best friend, dm, mutual friend, dm's friend. just discovered oriental adventures and wanted to make a samurai, dm ok's it. >DM tells me this is srs business campaign and I should build him to the best of my abilities. "Ok, if you say so." Samurai is a cleaving, tanking m----------- if there ever was one. >My friend makes a sorceror, mutual friend makes a wizard, dm's friend makes a druid. >But not just any druid >"A lithe and fierce cat-folk who shapeshifts and mostly hangs out in jaguar form with his fiersome claws." >Game starts, pretty normal stuff, we're riding on a boat into a town when OH S--- ITS UNDER ATTACK. >Under attack by animated suits of armor no less. Continued in next post. Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)06:38 No. 18173848 >Get off the boat and start f------ them up and helping the guard. >First round of combat, old man wizard gets brought to 0, sorcerer tries to stop him from bleeding out or something. >Druid shapeshifts and "leaps atop the first enemy he sees" >His claws aren't doing s--- against them, I'm cleaving like a boss. >Herp derp our way into the middle of town, still fighting, some roleplay going on. >My samurai doesn't talk unless it's important to the battle. Surrounded by suits of armor, s--- looks grim, obviously supposed to lose this fight, don't really mind the railroading though as long as it's fun. Wizard goes down for like the third time, then the sorcerer and eventually the druid >Druid player takes ten f------ minutes describing the blood on his fur and s--- and how tight his muscles are as he collapses, pretty sure he has a boner. >Somehow manage to beat all the suits with great cleave and lucky rolls. >Turn to the barely conscious party s"old men and kittens don't belong on the battlefield." And that's how the game started.
□ Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)06:37 No.18173840 So l guess I kind of have a story of a possible furfag. Greentexting cause I suck at writing and this is like my third post ever on 4chan. >DM friend invites me to play some 3.5, asks if I know anyone else that would want to. >Bring my friend who I've known forever. Group is me, best friend, dm, mutual friend, dm's friend. just discovered oriental adventures and wanted to make a samurai, dm ok's it. >DM tells me this is srs business campaign and I should build him to the best of my abilities. "Ok, if you say so." Samurai is a cleaving, tanking m----------- if there ever was one. >My friend makes a sorceror, mutual friend makes a wizard, dm's friend makes a druid. >But not just any druid >"A lithe and fierce cat-folk who shapeshifts and mostly hangs out in jaguar form with his fiersome claws." >Game starts, pretty normal stuff, we're riding on a boat into a town when OH S--- ITS UNDER ATTACK. >Under attack by animated suits of armor no less. Continued in next post. Anonymous 03/02/12(Fri)06:38 No. 18173848 >Get off the boat and start f------ them up and helping the guard. >First round of combat, old man wizard gets brought to 0, sorcerer tries to stop him from bleeding out or something. >Druid shapeshifts and "leaps atop the first enemy he sees" >His claws aren't doing s--- against them, I'm cleaving like a boss. >Herp derp our way into the middle of town, still fighting, some roleplay going on. >My samurai doesn't talk unless it's important to the battle. Surrounded by suits of armor, s--- looks grim, obviously supposed to lose this fight, don't really mind the railroading though as long as it's fun. Wizard goes down for like the third time, then the sorcerer and eventually the druid >Druid player takes ten f------ minutes describing the blood on his fur and s--- and how tight his muscles are as he collapses, pretty sure he has a boner. >Somehow manage to beat all the suits with great cleave and lucky rolls. >Turn to the barely conscious party s"old men and kittens don't belong on the battlefield." And that's how the game started.

/tg/
8chan 4chan greentext /tg/ traditional games

/tg/ you don't even need other boards

「Gropey the clown lg3AQhFles 07/14/13 Sun)17:10 No.260 12165 Replies 22 60121902226 121962-260 122532-260 2275 File: 1373836215084.jpg-(77 KB, 660x880, Edit to protect the normal.jpg) GD >Be me >Standing outside of fetish club I am performing sideshow at for their blood and piercing themed show >Exit building for some air and a smoke, with money still staplegunned to my chest and foot long steel skewer through my cheeks >Club across street stereotypical ghetto club >A woman come rushing out, sobbing >seconds later, big ole "gangsta" comes out screaming "you get back here bitch" >grabs her by the hair and slaps her lts on now >Walk across street. Yell "hey dicksack" and spit blood on his face and white jacket before kicking him in the balls Guy gets his bearings back takes one look at me, and runs. >Call girl a cab. >Random dude comes up to staple a $50 to me and get photos >Such is the life of Gropey Pic related /tg/ - Traditional Games

/tg/
4chan greentext youdon'tneedotherboards fetish greentext stories

he died as he lived a bear

Anonymous 09/25/11 (Sun)23:15 No. 16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs -Make bear a rogue, putevery point l can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity ROAR" *shrug
Anonymous 09/25/11 (Sun)23:15 No. 16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs -Make bear a rogue, putevery point l can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity ROAR" *shrug

/tg/
bears /tg/ 4chan 8chan greentext traditional games

I don't want to see a lovecraftian wedding

Warlock 5E Anonymous 01/22/15 (hu) 07:46:08 No.52605 >>52633 [Watch Thread Ive noticed something interesting about the Warlocks in 5E, they have patrons that grant them power, and they can even have a "romantic relationship" with these patrons since they are not quite gods One example of an allowed patron is a Great Old One This means my human noble warlock can have a romantic relationship with an eldritch horror. And gods help me l can't think of a reason this would be a bad idea | Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:02:13 No.52612 2252615 >>52618 Wait why can't I seduce a god? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:08:44 No.52615 52618 52612 1. How often do you run into a god? an 2. No one said you can't But the patrons can actually be giving the Warlock power specifically because of a romantic relationship Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:10:00 No.52616 52615 52612 t'd be Why haven't I done this? pells are a packed lunch from your lover. Amazing Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:20:42 No.52625 >>52627 If you hate yourself and want to suffer you can read the Brimstone Angels series by Erin M. Evans, which explores burgeoning relationship between a warlock and a cambion. It's basically Wizards trying to hop on the Twilight money train. Badly Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:22:45 No.52627 52625 Sounds lame, but the idea of my Tiefing warlock being given a packed lunch of spells with a little love note by an arch fiend amuses me to no end What has DnD unleashed with this monstrosity? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:31:56 No.52632 File (hide): 1421937116762 jpg (18.55 KB, 237x229, 237229, 1338795849700 ipa) tg/ what the f--- are you doing? You can't marry eldritch abominations from beyond deep space, there are laws against this kind of thing wut Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:33:13 No.52633-52635 52605 (OP) Dude, that sort of thing happened in like half of Lovecraft's original stories. The relationships between the Deep Ones and the Cult of Dagon in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", the Whatelies cross-breeding with Yog-Sothoth in the "The Dunwich Horror", et cetera Anonymous 01/22/15(hu) 08:36:55 No.52635 File (hide): 14 741 (24.15 KB, 500x312, 125:78, fbz a4b9add377bd3009a69178....ipa) It's Magic. >52633 All I know is I can suck alien d--- fo r magic powers and that's f------ magnificent lain't gotta explainshit.
Warlock 5E Anonymous 01/22/15 (hu) 07:46:08 No.52605 >>52633 [Watch Thread Ive noticed something interesting about the Warlocks in 5E, they have patrons that grant them power, and they can even have a "romantic relationship" with these patrons since they are not quite gods One example of an allowed patron is a Great Old One This means my human noble warlock can have a romantic relationship with an eldritch horror. And gods help me l can't think of a reason this would be a bad idea | Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:02:13 No.52612 2252615 >>52618 Wait why can't I seduce a god? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:08:44 No.52615 52618 52612 1. How often do you run into a god? an 2. No one said you can't But the patrons can actually be giving the Warlock power specifically because of a romantic relationship Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:10:00 No.52616 52615 52612 t'd be Why haven't I done this? pells are a packed lunch from your lover. Amazing Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:20:42 No.52625 >>52627 If you hate yourself and want to suffer you can read the Brimstone Angels series by Erin M. Evans, which explores burgeoning relationship between a warlock and a cambion. It's basically Wizards trying to hop on the Twilight money train. Badly Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:22:45 No.52627 52625 Sounds lame, but the idea of my Tiefing warlock being given a packed lunch of spells with a little love note by an arch fiend amuses me to no end What has DnD unleashed with this monstrosity? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:31:56 No.52632 File (hide): 1421937116762 jpg (18.55 KB, 237x229, 237229, 1338795849700 ipa) tg/ what the f--- are you doing? You can't marry eldritch abominations from beyond deep space, there are laws against this kind of thing wut Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:33:13 No.52633-52635 52605 (OP) Dude, that sort of thing happened in like half of Lovecraft's original stories. The relationships between the Deep Ones and the Cult of Dagon in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", the Whatelies cross-breeding with Yog-Sothoth in the "The Dunwich Horror", et cetera Anonymous 01/22/15(hu) 08:36:55 No.52635 File (hide): 14 741 (24.15 KB, 500x312, 125:78, fbz a4b9add377bd3009a69178....ipa) It's Magic. >52633 All I know is I can suck alien d--- fo r magic powers and that's f------ magnificent lain't gotta explainshit.

/tg/
/tg/ greentext 8chan 4chan lovecraft traditional games

Dice rolling is serious business

□ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:24 No. 181152290 >dm lets people re-roll endlessly until they get all 18's me: Why not just give them all 18s and save the time wasted on rolling? >DM: BECAUSE I LIKE THE F------ SOUND OF DICE ROLLING YOU F------ C--- >he storms into his bedroom, GF follows. twenty minutes later, the DMs GF tells me I have to go now because I have upset him as I walk out and close the door I hear the DM say, "alright so have you guys all rolled 18's yet? if not, lets keep rolling" his voice sounds like he has been crying what the f--- hapened □ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:25 No.181152520 >18115229 Dice rolling is his fetish.
□ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:24 No. 181152290 >dm lets people re-roll endlessly until they get all 18's me: Why not just give them all 18s and save the time wasted on rolling? >DM: BECAUSE I LIKE THE F------ SOUND OF DICE ROLLING YOU F------ C--- >he storms into his bedroom, GF follows. twenty minutes later, the DMs GF tells me I have to go now because I have upset him as I walk out and close the door I hear the DM say, "alright so have you guys all rolled 18's yet? if not, lets keep rolling" his voice sounds like he has been crying what the f--- hapened □ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:25 No.181152520 >18115229 Dice rolling is his fetish.

/tg/
autism /tg/ 4chan dice rolling full retard

D'aww

Dear emper, Hi! I aixt suppose to urite Ho you got so tokeepthis serot ok?I heard some gardian Sayn the won'keigh think yore real themgits and 900d. They sai l been really and uathin behind My eary Singleday.. and cleawing ye ad everyaing wer then maybe yau com briy me Sie went nuny te fight bt whgn moving "move but she did have her spinit stone en scared she's lonely l dowt knou what i's like inside a pirt stone and the exarch wont tell me but I missher a lot l asked dad whatitwa:s like but he doesut tulk to me much anymore since they Put kimin a rafelord He says he's cold alot. Con you being kim yo got ih I dow4 knou how to give s to you so 1.-putting it out the air lock. Soeeally wagie so I betgol fad it rigkauy l dowtgot anything to sive ou for reading this buif yov visit me prowise M) Love A»than
Dear emper, Hi! I aixt suppose to urite Ho you got so tokeepthis serot ok?I heard some gardian Sayn the won'keigh think yore real themgits and 900d. They sai l been really and uathin behind My eary Singleday.. and cleawing ye ad everyaing wer then maybe yau com briy me Sie went nuny te fight bt whgn moving "move but she did have her spinit stone en scared she's lonely l dowt knou what i's like inside a pirt stone and the exarch wont tell me but I missher a lot l asked dad whatitwa:s like but he doesut tulk to me much anymore since they Put kimin a rafelord He says he's cold alot. Con you being kim yo got ih I dow4 knou how to give s to you so 1.-putting it out the air lock. Soeeally wagie so I betgol fad it rigkauy l dowtgot anything to sive ou for reading this buif yov visit me prowise M) Love A»than

/tg/
warhammer 40k anthan the emperor the god-emperor of mankind comic fanart feels dear emper

Its a zoggin' conspiracy, it is!

f------ umies did dis
f------ umies did dis

/tg/
tony khorneheiser's why 40k warhammer 40000 ork orks expand dong i bet the jews did this

/tg/ attempts baneposting

□ Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)01:56:50 No.38797930 22387 What will WWIll be fought with /tg/? Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)01:58:40 No.38797971 Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)01:58:56 No.38797982 2-38798024 P> Harsh words and biting WWIV will be fought with angst and pitiful self-loathing WWV will be fought with thrown pies and novelty squirting flowers Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)02:00:55 No.38798024 2-38799463 38797982 WWVI will be fought with baneposting Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)03:11:42 No.38799463、>>38799830 Call of Duty >38798024 It will be very painful Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)03:34:00 No.38799830 >>387998722-3881 0265 38799463 Will it be a big war? Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)03:36:09 No. 38799872 >-38800054 >>38802581 >>38804174 >>38809350 >>38810265 >38799830 For the EU Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)12:33:28 No.38804174 2238809916 >>38810285 38799872 Was getting caught in a recession part of your plan? Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)20:05:20 No.3880991 6、2238810285 38804174 Crashing this economy. With no survivors
□ Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)01:56:50 No.38797930 22387 What will WWIll be fought with /tg/? Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)01:58:40 No.38797971 Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)01:58:56 No.38797982 2-38798024 P> Harsh words and biting WWIV will be fought with angst and pitiful self-loathing WWV will be fought with thrown pies and novelty squirting flowers Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)02:00:55 No.38798024 2-38799463 38797982 WWVI will be fought with baneposting Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)03:11:42 No.38799463、>>38799830 Call of Duty >38798024 It will be very painful Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)03:34:00 No.38799830 >>387998722-3881 0265 38799463 Will it be a big war? Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)03:36:09 No. 38799872 >-38800054 >>38802581 >>38804174 >>38809350 >>38810265 >38799830 For the EU Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)12:33:28 No.38804174 2238809916 >>38810285 38799872 Was getting caught in a recession part of your plan? Anonymous 03/19/15(Thu)20:05:20 No.3880991 6、2238810285 38804174 Crashing this economy. With no survivors

/tg/
baneposting

How deep can you go?

Anonymous 07/22/13(Mon)05:51 No.26169151 Replies: 2616937726169409 File: 1374486713256.ipg-(1.9 MB, 1440x900, Inception.jpg) 26167920 (OP) >Party stops at Inn. Rogue and bard start playing Warhammer >Champions enter a duel. Duel by playing chess >Pawn attempts to take knight... By challenging it to a Pokémon battle! >Pokémon start playing MTG Replies: l 26167920>>26169377>26169409 OAnonymous 07/22/13(Mon)06:30 No.26169377 >>26169151 yes" Replies: 26169151 Anonymous 07/22/13(Mon)06:38 No.26169409 Replies: 226172439 26169151 the MTG decks are both Shahrazads. Replies: > 26169151>-26172439
Anonymous 07/22/13(Mon)05:51 No.26169151 Replies: 2616937726169409 File: 1374486713256.ipg-(1.9 MB, 1440x900, Inception.jpg) 26167920 (OP) >Party stops at Inn. Rogue and bard start playing Warhammer >Champions enter a duel. Duel by playing chess >Pawn attempts to take knight... By challenging it to a Pokémon battle! >Pokémon start playing MTG Replies: l 26167920>>26169377>26169409 OAnonymous 07/22/13(Mon)06:30 No.26169377 >>26169151 yes" Replies: 26169151 Anonymous 07/22/13(Mon)06:38 No.26169409 Replies: 226172439 26169151 the MTG decks are both Shahrazads. Replies: > 26169151>-26172439

/tg/
deep inception chess pokemon warhammer inn game magic the gathering shahrazads pawn knight rogue bard

...

After literally 2.5 years, its ready! by BoneJack in DnD ↑ [-] virtualoptim 42 points 16 hours ago (19 61) I created an amazing Universe one time, basically there was the plane of Butter and the plane of Salt, and they coincided once every 2000 years, and 200 Famine spirits would invade the Material Plane to r--- women and eat children. And one time they f----- up the Brooklyn Bridge, but one character transformed into Dr. Who and went back in time and undid that so I had to rewrite history Then another time there was a GIANT f------ mushroom in our game that would fire dinner plates at people, for 2d6 damage, +10 ranged attack. The party's fighter-warmage was killed instantly, and her player got so p----- she stormed out and never came back. The other players found some AK-47s in a chest, and, after using up almost all the mags, finally brought it down In the next room were 24 zombie avocados, enchanted by melange, so they had blue eyes and desert clothes and they screamed "MAHOU DEENIS" before leaping down on Harkonnen soldiers and ripping their pants off. We anyway one of the players was a Minotaur sorcerer so he couldn't be caught flat-footed. Most of the other characters were killed, so it was just the Minotaur and the Human rogue who survived. They went in to fight the final battle it was billy mays He fired off hundreds of great deal spells, but the minotaur sorcerer valiantly fought them off. Eventually Billy Mays was dead again, back up in heaven partying like it's 19.99 So the party saved the world and I gave 2000 XP and one b------ Our D&D game is pretty f------ awesome
After literally 2.5 years, its ready! by BoneJack in DnD ↑ [-] virtualoptim 42 points 16 hours ago (19 61) I created an amazing Universe one time, basically there was the plane of Butter and the plane of Salt, and they coincided once every 2000 years, and 200 Famine spirits would invade the Material Plane to r--- women and eat children. And one time they f----- up the Brooklyn Bridge, but one character transformed into Dr. Who and went back in time and undid that so I had to rewrite history Then another time there was a GIANT f------ mushroom in our game that would fire dinner plates at people, for 2d6 damage, +10 ranged attack. The party's fighter-warmage was killed instantly, and her player got so p----- she stormed out and never came back. The other players found some AK-47s in a chest, and, after using up almost all the mags, finally brought it down In the next room were 24 zombie avocados, enchanted by melange, so they had blue eyes and desert clothes and they screamed "MAHOU DEENIS" before leaping down on Harkonnen soldiers and ripping their pants off. We anyway one of the players was a Minotaur sorcerer so he couldn't be caught flat-footed. Most of the other characters were killed, so it was just the Minotaur and the Human rogue who survived. They went in to fight the final battle it was billy mays He fired off hundreds of great deal spells, but the minotaur sorcerer valiantly fought them off. Eventually Billy Mays was dead again, back up in heaven partying like it's 19.99 So the party saved the world and I gave 2000 XP and one b------ Our D&D game is pretty f------ awesome

/tg/
dungeons and dragons popcorn salt billy mays wat /tg/

Sounds like fun!

punchup.aif (1.99 MB, 299x173) gooale iadb □ Anonymous 03/13/15(Fri)14:49:01 No.38677503 >>38677821 >>38677556 >>38677613 >>38677714 Which RPG do you hate the most, and why? Be specific In the interest of avoiding edition wars I'll start with something other than D&D: GURPS Billions of fiddly little rules and modifiers "But you don't have to use them! >Then what's the goddamn point of buying the game Hundreds of skills, rules, powers, moditiers >But only 3 Attributes >No, Health is not an Attribute why.jpg? Anonymous 03/13/15(Fri)15:03:55 No.38677783 >>38677813 >>38677920 >>38677968 >>38678018 >-38678084 >Which RPG do you hate the most, and why? Be specific I once played a roleplaying game where we all stood around in a circle, and one person in the center tried to pretend to be a duck and they weren't allowed to be let out of the circle until they managed to convince the entire group that they were a duck The first person took three days During the first few hours, he desperately tried to just convince us to let him go, then he tried forcing his way out. Once he took a few too many kicks to the head, he just spent the next three hours lying on the ground, crying, while the group took turns shouting at him that his labored gasps sounded nothing like quacks On the second day, dehydration and sleep deprivation had already taken their toll, and he just started quacking, flapping his arms, while a few obstinate members of the circle kept ridiculing him by saying it didn't even look like he was trying at all, which made him just burst into tears of frustration, bitterness, and emptiness He tried to escape again that night, but a few savage blows pushed him back into the center where he just crumpled in a heap, and some people thought he might have died. No one bothered to check On the third morning, it turns out he had survived. He slowly got up, and after a few glances around at his captors, he gave out a short "quack", started flapping his arms, and flew out of the circle, probably heading south to find a flock While we watched him disappear into the distance, one guy said he still wasn't convinced That's probably my least favorite RPG
punchup.aif (1.99 MB, 299x173) gooale iadb □ Anonymous 03/13/15(Fri)14:49:01 No.38677503 >>38677821 >>38677556 >>38677613 >>38677714 Which RPG do you hate the most, and why? Be specific In the interest of avoiding edition wars I'll start with something other than D&D: GURPS Billions of fiddly little rules and modifiers "But you don't have to use them! >Then what's the goddamn point of buying the game Hundreds of skills, rules, powers, moditiers >But only 3 Attributes >No, Health is not an Attribute why.jpg? Anonymous 03/13/15(Fri)15:03:55 No.38677783 >>38677813 >>38677920 >>38677968 >>38678018 >-38678084 >Which RPG do you hate the most, and why? Be specific I once played a roleplaying game where we all stood around in a circle, and one person in the center tried to pretend to be a duck and they weren't allowed to be let out of the circle until they managed to convince the entire group that they were a duck The first person took three days During the first few hours, he desperately tried to just convince us to let him go, then he tried forcing his way out. Once he took a few too many kicks to the head, he just spent the next three hours lying on the ground, crying, while the group took turns shouting at him that his labored gasps sounded nothing like quacks On the second day, dehydration and sleep deprivation had already taken their toll, and he just started quacking, flapping his arms, while a few obstinate members of the circle kept ridiculing him by saying it didn't even look like he was trying at all, which made him just burst into tears of frustration, bitterness, and emptiness He tried to escape again that night, but a few savage blows pushed him back into the center where he just crumpled in a heap, and some people thought he might have died. No one bothered to check On the third morning, it turns out he had survived. He slowly got up, and after a few glances around at his captors, he gave out a short "quack", started flapping his arms, and flew out of the circle, probably heading south to find a flock While we watched him disappear into the distance, one guy said he still wasn't convinced That's probably my least favorite RPG

/tg/
worst roleplaying game ever duck /tg/

The Krieger Medic

E Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)22:42 No. 23813404 Reples-new岱 B. 351x842. ong) You are a Death Korps Medic. You were the second most valuable item in your squad. The frst most valuable item was a plasma gun. Every member of the squad was trained to operate the plasma gun in case the primary operator was kiled It was deemed inefficient to train every member of the squad to perform the duties of a medicae. Arguably, therefore, you were the most valuable member of the squad, but the plasma gun had seen decades of service. You had not You have been trained as a field medic since the age of 12. You performed your first field amputation eight days after beginning training. The procedure was not successful. Your equipment is generic and has been replaced many, many times. You no longer distinguish between your equipment and your body, as both are required for yo In your former squad, all members knew your value, and were trained to assist and protect you. Your new squad is less efficient. It has conflicting doctrines. Orders are given in unfamiliar tones and with unfamiliar style. You are struggling to adapt, but you will not fail. The squad needs you. You can protect them. You can save them to figh again. If they die, it is your duty to ensure, in the absence of a Quartermaster, that their gear is distributed or stored properly and that the body is placed where it will not decay and spread contaminated air, give comfort to the enemy, or obstruct the operations of the Iimperial Guard. You sometimes have dficulty distinguishing between the and the Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)22 50 No 23813530 Reples: 쯔238125競以3013601-3814016m238140s.a23a144缸ー381439 Pg) Sometimes, the members of your new squad do strange things. They spend hours talking to each other. You have to listen to make sure they are not giving you orders or conveying vital information without you knowing it. You do not want to appear weak. Sometimes, they make strange coughing sounds You have asked them about this. They do not understand what you mean, and then they cough again, showing their teeth and grinning like a skull. You suspect it is endemic, possibly a sign of weakness of mind. You have been wamed to watch for signs of weakness of mind. You have tested them for lung- Sometimes, it seems as though the squad does not understand your duty. You cannot waste valuable medicine on a soldier who can never make a full recovery to fighting strength. His pain is a weakness of the mind His screams are a weakness of the mind. You can ignore them. Your squad cannot They are weak They do not understand Your skils are for those who can be saved. It is a waste of ammunition to end the life of the badly wounded. H is a waste of medicine to heal them. Your new squad does not Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)23 00 No 2381 3691 Reples: M238137脇以3813曌ー28143112223814缸以2014 File 1363921223084129イ294 KB 1920x1080 1340220201 344pg Your new squad is ineficient. They disagree with each other. Intolerable weakness. Sometimes, they disagree with the orders the Sergeant gives them. Unthinkable. You were prepared to strip the corpse of the soldier who disagreed with the Sergeant, but the Sergeant did not execute him. You do not understand. Disobedience is death. At the age of ten you watched them line up and execute a platoon for failing to obey the precise letter of their orders. You do not understand how the Imperial Guard functions if orders can be questioned Your new squad fears death. They prefer to risk their missions rather than nsk danger You have seen situations where acceptable losses (up to 20% of the squad) would have lead to a The equipment of your squad is unorthodox. They have extraneous items Books that are not regimental issue. Items of decoration Weapons that are not regimental issue Modified uniforms. Facial hair. Weakness. Unorthodoxy It makes sorting the equipment of the dead difficult. Sometimes, members of your squad object to you remaving certain items from corpses. You do not understand this. A dead soldier has no need for non-regimental gear, just as he has no need for the items and weapons issued to Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)23:09 No.23813848 Reples: 2223513955 2222314497 22281482 File 1363921750303· 4130 KB 800x1501 12958491 96892Pg) Your sometimes wonder if you have been placed in a squad of raw recruits. They fear the sight of the dead. They fear the enemy. The fear death. They are undisciplined. They are inefficient. They are weak. You cannot make them stronger, you can only stop them from failing. You must do your duty Your squad is weak. One solider asked for pain relief as you stitched a minor facial wound. You did not understand. Had he received some serious injury that had evaded your notice? Did he not understand that all medical reagents are to be prized and used only when required? He complained that your stitching would mark his face. You did not understand why he was telling you this. Scaring is part of the healing process. The solider did not want to be disfigured, it was explained to you. You do not understand why he feared a minor scar. You explained that it would in no way impede his combat effectiveness. He did not cease his complaints for several days. Intalerable weakness E Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)23: 15 No. 238 13956 Reples2-2201405.-2m4m File: 1363922151505 ing-(1007 KB, 1680x1050, 1305269736250 jpgl Your squad asks strange questions that are not orders but require a response. The squad was ta king about their home worlds. You were not listening It was nat important. You were inspecting the hive-vault for hidden sniping positions while recumbent. One of your squad members asked you about Krieg She did not ask you again. The squad members did not continue talking. Entirely acceptable. Some showed signs of fear. Entirely unacceptable D Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)23:51 No.23814430 Reples 2-22014491-2w4M, File: 1363924286668 ing-(454 KB, 1200x1166, 1291178475044.jpg) 8145702-2201465).-2H4629 The Sergeant dismissed you at camp. He said you were to report at dawn. You assumed that he or anather officer would conduct training and inspections until your appointed sleep cycle. No officer appeared You stood in the empty barracks and waited Another member of your squad told you to come with them to the regimental mess hall. The soldiers eat here in great numbers. The food is prepared nearby, not packaged and sealed. It was disgustingly flavourful. You prefer your rations. You still have a few Krieg rations in your koit. You are saving them for the Feast of the Emperor's The mess was disorganized. There was so much noise. You found a comer and ate alone. You went back to the barracks to wait. The squad arrived eventually and you were told to prepare for the sleep cycle. You had your kit stowed and cleaned well before anyone else. Shirkers The sleep cycle here is too long After precisely four hours you woke up. The rest of the squad was not awake. There were no lights. You were confused. You stared at the ceiling until the Sergeant arrived two and a half hours later Sometimes, you feel very alone □ Anonymous 03/22/13(Frí:00 1 1 No 23814747 Repies ,-23814830,-238148874-23815022 1.98 MB, 1600x1200, 1290572376959 png) Staring at the ceiling of the barracks for two and a half hours every sleep cycle is not efficient. You do not want to wake your squad. They are weak. They require more rest than do. You have memorized every Imperial feast day your old regiment celebrated. You spent two nights memorizing the feast days of your new regiment Same dates conflict You spent several more nights attempting to combine the two without conflict Sometimes, you take out the knucklebones and look at them. They are from your first kill. They are polished brown and yellow now. They are very small. You were ten years old when you shot him. He was a deserter from your training regiment He ran from the tunnel-warren and to the surface one night. Your squad was ordered to hunt him down. You remember his serial number (104-2205-P but you do not remember what he looked like The knucklebones were much be er when the Training cer handed them to you Perhaps they have been worn down even you have kept them safe in a c kit Anonymous 03/22/13(Fn)00 17 No. 23814841 Reples: File 2014991 7 KB, 1080x1350, 1257633197410 jpgl 23814628 The God-Emperor of Mankind directs the fate of all humankind. Without him, humanity could not exist. It is by his will alone that ships travel from world to world, that the wise govern, that men live and die, and that the functions of the universe continue as ordered Once, Krieg failed the God-Emperor of Mankind and rejected the Imperium We continue to pay the price for our disobedience. We are less than the least vermin in the sight of the Emperor, barely above the traitors to the Imperial cause we triumphed over. We serve the Imperium wholly, without reservation. Nothing held back. Nothing of our own. We fight those who would destroy the Emperor's vision and cast down the works of Man. We will not fail again. We cannot fail again. □ Anonymous 03/22/13(Fn)00 27 No 23814976 Replies: 쯔23815033-23815041 File: 1363926440885 ang(589 KB, 900x729, Krieger in bed png) The soldiers here are weak. They are easily distracted. The regiment has women in it. Your Sergeant is a woman. Krieg regiments do not have female soldiers, though you have seen them in the training regiments. All Kriegers train. All Kriegers. We will not fail again. You do not understand many of the things your squad members do and say. They say so many things. They have a language you do not understand. It is not important. It will not lead to victory. It is a distraction. You are beginning to hate them for it. It is a traitorous thought, hating a soldier of the Imperial guard. You punish yourself for it by training harder 23815155 The Vostroyans are proud; the Krieg are humble. The Vostroyans have hand-marked weapons and fine armour, a Krieger needs nothing more than generic tools and anonymous weapons. The Vostroyans are lead by the mad, the brilliant, the inspiring. and the quick. Knieg regiments are lead by the survivors. They have very little in common, aside from a few background details. The Vostroyans are still human beings, after all □ Anonymous 03/22/13(Fn)0054 No 2381 5457 Reples ,-2381550,-23815517 File: 1363928067071 ig-(362 KB, 735x 1093, 1310234446335 jpg) Side t The Space Marines are /more/ than human. They have passions and hatred and feuds and live on a larger scale than mortal men. Where they walk the earth shakes. They are the god-touched. Like false deities from an old opera they boom and thunder. Every emotion is magnified. Every weakness spreads into catastrophe, every strength is almost overbearing. They can be poets and tacticians and great leaders of men, but they must fight ifthe Imperium is to survive at all. They are not human, but beyond humanity The Cadians are a brutal fighting force, trained to stand at the gate of the Imperium and hold the door shut... or block the aperture with bodies. Nevertheless, they are still human. They breed leaders and warriors and geniuses. They adapt to face their foes. They are true soldiers facing the impossible and unimaginable every day Mordians chose discipline above effectiveness long ago, but in a proud and noble sort of way. They sacrifice gloriously with colour and spectacle. The Vostroyan Ive covered above But the Krieg? The Krieg are wind-up toys made from broken and beaten children. They are the sort of human beings we institutionalize in the modern world. They cannot function. Any soldier from the regiments above: Cadian, Vostroyan, Mordian, could retire and live a peaceful life. Many do. But the Krieg are tools built for brutal war. They have become less than human to fight things that arent human at all, and sufiered is tricky. That's □ Anonymous 03/22/13(Fn)02:02 No 23816514 Reples--2351654.-23816548,-23816504,-2381657.-2massa File: 1363932161772 ing-(111 KB, 461x800, 2icc4de1a77700158e8e6cf..). jpg) You two have been reading this thread right? You konow where this is going. Imagine what a Krieger looks like naked. Pale. Patchy hair, or shaved near to the skin. Old, badly healed scars. Malnourished. Hygiene powder around the vitall areas. Pale eyes. With his mask on, he's an ominous figure. Without it, he almost looks normal. Almost. Some things throw you The way he folds his pants over the back of the chair Precise Too precise The way he moves. The way he looks at things His eyes are just a little too wide His neck s els oddly he's used to wearing a mask. Sometimes he brushes at a hose that isn't there, moving it across an imaginary chestpiece. He doesnt look afraid or nervous, most young men do, when they're alone with a woman for the You beckon him over to the bed. He moves oddly. For no reason that you can explain he makes you uncomfortable. The way he clenches his jaw quietly. The way he smells. The way he speaks, mechanical empty... mad. That's it. He's practically weeping madness like the penitents on the Martyr's row or the old beggar outside the alms house who screams about spirits and the war But his squadmates paid his way. plus a little extra, and he's not so bad, really. You tell him what to do, gentle-like, as not to scare him. He does it ike a senvitor, mechanically, fumbling with unfamilliar tasks. You put your hand on his shoulder and he flinches, so you just lean back and invite him over He moves without pleasure or intensity. It's like hes... somewhere else. Like this is distasteful to him, a duty that has to be performed, one that risks comuption and failure. His expression never changes As you look into his pale, dead eyes, for no reason that you can explain, you begin to cry.
E Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)22:42 No. 23813404 Reples-new岱 B. 351x842. ong) You are a Death Korps Medic. You were the second most valuable item in your squad. The frst most valuable item was a plasma gun. Every member of the squad was trained to operate the plasma gun in case the primary operator was kiled It was deemed inefficient to train every member of the squad to perform the duties of a medicae. Arguably, therefore, you were the most valuable member of the squad, but the plasma gun had seen decades of service. You had not You have been trained as a field medic since the age of 12. You performed your first field amputation eight days after beginning training. The procedure was not successful. Your equipment is generic and has been replaced many, many times. You no longer distinguish between your equipment and your body, as both are required for yo In your former squad, all members knew your value, and were trained to assist and protect you. Your new squad is less efficient. It has conflicting doctrines. Orders are given in unfamiliar tones and with unfamiliar style. You are struggling to adapt, but you will not fail. The squad needs you. You can protect them. You can save them to figh again. If they die, it is your duty to ensure, in the absence of a Quartermaster, that their gear is distributed or stored properly and that the body is placed where it will not decay and spread contaminated air, give comfort to the enemy, or obstruct the operations of the Iimperial Guard. You sometimes have dficulty distinguishing between the and the Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)22 50 No 23813530 Reples: 쯔238125競以3013601-3814016m238140s.a23a144缸ー381439 Pg) Sometimes, the members of your new squad do strange things. They spend hours talking to each other. You have to listen to make sure they are not giving you orders or conveying vital information without you knowing it. You do not want to appear weak. Sometimes, they make strange coughing sounds You have asked them about this. They do not understand what you mean, and then they cough again, showing their teeth and grinning like a skull. You suspect it is endemic, possibly a sign of weakness of mind. You have been wamed to watch for signs of weakness of mind. You have tested them for lung- Sometimes, it seems as though the squad does not understand your duty. You cannot waste valuable medicine on a soldier who can never make a full recovery to fighting strength. His pain is a weakness of the mind His screams are a weakness of the mind. You can ignore them. Your squad cannot They are weak They do not understand Your skils are for those who can be saved. It is a waste of ammunition to end the life of the badly wounded. H is a waste of medicine to heal them. Your new squad does not Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)23 00 No 2381 3691 Reples: M238137脇以3813曌ー28143112223814缸以2014 File 1363921223084129イ294 KB 1920x1080 1340220201 344pg Your new squad is ineficient. They disagree with each other. Intolerable weakness. Sometimes, they disagree with the orders the Sergeant gives them. Unthinkable. You were prepared to strip the corpse of the soldier who disagreed with the Sergeant, but the Sergeant did not execute him. You do not understand. Disobedience is death. At the age of ten you watched them line up and execute a platoon for failing to obey the precise letter of their orders. You do not understand how the Imperial Guard functions if orders can be questioned Your new squad fears death. They prefer to risk their missions rather than nsk danger You have seen situations where acceptable losses (up to 20% of the squad) would have lead to a The equipment of your squad is unorthodox. They have extraneous items Books that are not regimental issue. Items of decoration Weapons that are not regimental issue Modified uniforms. Facial hair. Weakness. Unorthodoxy It makes sorting the equipment of the dead difficult. Sometimes, members of your squad object to you remaving certain items from corpses. You do not understand this. A dead soldier has no need for non-regimental gear, just as he has no need for the items and weapons issued to Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)23:09 No.23813848 Reples: 2223513955 2222314497 22281482 File 1363921750303· 4130 KB 800x1501 12958491 96892Pg) Your sometimes wonder if you have been placed in a squad of raw recruits. They fear the sight of the dead. They fear the enemy. The fear death. They are undisciplined. They are inefficient. They are weak. You cannot make them stronger, you can only stop them from failing. You must do your duty Your squad is weak. One solider asked for pain relief as you stitched a minor facial wound. You did not understand. Had he received some serious injury that had evaded your notice? Did he not understand that all medical reagents are to be prized and used only when required? He complained that your stitching would mark his face. You did not understand why he was telling you this. Scaring is part of the healing process. The solider did not want to be disfigured, it was explained to you. You do not understand why he feared a minor scar. You explained that it would in no way impede his combat effectiveness. He did not cease his complaints for several days. Intalerable weakness E Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)23: 15 No. 238 13956 Reples2-2201405.-2m4m File: 1363922151505 ing-(1007 KB, 1680x1050, 1305269736250 jpgl Your squad asks strange questions that are not orders but require a response. The squad was ta king about their home worlds. You were not listening It was nat important. You were inspecting the hive-vault for hidden sniping positions while recumbent. One of your squad members asked you about Krieg She did not ask you again. The squad members did not continue talking. Entirely acceptable. Some showed signs of fear. Entirely unacceptable D Anonymous 03/21/13(Thu)23:51 No.23814430 Reples 2-22014491-2w4M, File: 1363924286668 ing-(454 KB, 1200x1166, 1291178475044.jpg) 8145702-2201465).-2H4629 The Sergeant dismissed you at camp. He said you were to report at dawn. You assumed that he or anather officer would conduct training and inspections until your appointed sleep cycle. No officer appeared You stood in the empty barracks and waited Another member of your squad told you to come with them to the regimental mess hall. The soldiers eat here in great numbers. The food is prepared nearby, not packaged and sealed. It was disgustingly flavourful. You prefer your rations. You still have a few Krieg rations in your koit. You are saving them for the Feast of the Emperor's The mess was disorganized. There was so much noise. You found a comer and ate alone. You went back to the barracks to wait. The squad arrived eventually and you were told to prepare for the sleep cycle. You had your kit stowed and cleaned well before anyone else. Shirkers The sleep cycle here is too long After precisely four hours you woke up. The rest of the squad was not awake. There were no lights. You were confused. You stared at the ceiling until the Sergeant arrived two and a half hours later Sometimes, you feel very alone □ Anonymous 03/22/13(Frí:00 1 1 No 23814747 Repies ,-23814830,-238148874-23815022 1.98 MB, 1600x1200, 1290572376959 png) Staring at the ceiling of the barracks for two and a half hours every sleep cycle is not efficient. You do not want to wake your squad. They are weak. They require more rest than do. You have memorized every Imperial feast day your old regiment celebrated. You spent two nights memorizing the feast days of your new regiment Same dates conflict You spent several more nights attempting to combine the two without conflict Sometimes, you take out the knucklebones and look at them. They are from your first kill. They are polished brown and yellow now. They are very small. You were ten years old when you shot him. He was a deserter from your training regiment He ran from the tunnel-warren and to the surface one night. Your squad was ordered to hunt him down. You remember his serial number (104-2205-P but you do not remember what he looked like The knucklebones were much be er when the Training cer handed them to you Perhaps they have been worn down even you have kept them safe in a c kit Anonymous 03/22/13(Fn)00 17 No. 23814841 Reples: File 2014991 7 KB, 1080x1350, 1257633197410 jpgl 23814628 The God-Emperor of Mankind directs the fate of all humankind. Without him, humanity could not exist. It is by his will alone that ships travel from world to world, that the wise govern, that men live and die, and that the functions of the universe continue as ordered Once, Krieg failed the God-Emperor of Mankind and rejected the Imperium We continue to pay the price for our disobedience. We are less than the least vermin in the sight of the Emperor, barely above the traitors to the Imperial cause we triumphed over. We serve the Imperium wholly, without reservation. Nothing held back. Nothing of our own. We fight those who would destroy the Emperor's vision and cast down the works of Man. We will not fail again. We cannot fail again. □ Anonymous 03/22/13(Fn)00 27 No 23814976 Replies: 쯔23815033-23815041 File: 1363926440885 ang(589 KB, 900x729, Krieger in bed png) The soldiers here are weak. They are easily distracted. The regiment has women in it. Your Sergeant is a woman. Krieg regiments do not have female soldiers, though you have seen them in the training regiments. All Kriegers train. All Kriegers. We will not fail again. You do not understand many of the things your squad members do and say. They say so many things. They have a language you do not understand. It is not important. It will not lead to victory. It is a distraction. You are beginning to hate them for it. It is a traitorous thought, hating a soldier of the Imperial guard. You punish yourself for it by training harder 23815155 The Vostroyans are proud; the Krieg are humble. The Vostroyans have hand-marked weapons and fine armour, a Krieger needs nothing more than generic tools and anonymous weapons. The Vostroyans are lead by the mad, the brilliant, the inspiring. and the quick. Knieg regiments are lead by the survivors. They have very little in common, aside from a few background details. The Vostroyans are still human beings, after all □ Anonymous 03/22/13(Fn)0054 No 2381 5457 Reples ,-2381550,-23815517 File: 1363928067071 ig-(362 KB, 735x 1093, 1310234446335 jpg) Side t The Space Marines are /more/ than human. They have passions and hatred and feuds and live on a larger scale than mortal men. Where they walk the earth shakes. They are the god-touched. Like false deities from an old opera they boom and thunder. Every emotion is magnified. Every weakness spreads into catastrophe, every strength is almost overbearing. They can be poets and tacticians and great leaders of men, but they must fight ifthe Imperium is to survive at all. They are not human, but beyond humanity The Cadians are a brutal fighting force, trained to stand at the gate of the Imperium and hold the door shut... or block the aperture with bodies. Nevertheless, they are still human. They breed leaders and warriors and geniuses. They adapt to face their foes. They are true soldiers facing the impossible and unimaginable every day Mordians chose discipline above effectiveness long ago, but in a proud and noble sort of way. They sacrifice gloriously with colour and spectacle. The Vostroyan Ive covered above But the Krieg? The Krieg are wind-up toys made from broken and beaten children. They are the sort of human beings we institutionalize in the modern world. They cannot function. Any soldier from the regiments above: Cadian, Vostroyan, Mordian, could retire and live a peaceful life. Many do. But the Krieg are tools built for brutal war. They have become less than human to fight things that arent human at all, and sufiered is tricky. That's □ Anonymous 03/22/13(Fn)02:02 No 23816514 Reples--2351654.-23816548,-23816504,-2381657.-2massa File: 1363932161772 ing-(111 KB, 461x800, 2icc4de1a77700158e8e6cf..). jpg) You two have been reading this thread right? You konow where this is going. Imagine what a Krieger looks like naked. Pale. Patchy hair, or shaved near to the skin. Old, badly healed scars. Malnourished. Hygiene powder around the vitall areas. Pale eyes. With his mask on, he's an ominous figure. Without it, he almost looks normal. Almost. Some things throw you The way he folds his pants over the back of the chair Precise Too precise The way he moves. The way he looks at things His eyes are just a little too wide His neck s els oddly he's used to wearing a mask. Sometimes he brushes at a hose that isn't there, moving it across an imaginary chestpiece. He doesnt look afraid or nervous, most young men do, when they're alone with a woman for the You beckon him over to the bed. He moves oddly. For no reason that you can explain he makes you uncomfortable. The way he clenches his jaw quietly. The way he smells. The way he speaks, mechanical empty... mad. That's it. He's practically weeping madness like the penitents on the Martyr's row or the old beggar outside the alms house who screams about spirits and the war But his squadmates paid his way. plus a little extra, and he's not so bad, really. You tell him what to do, gentle-like, as not to scare him. He does it ike a senvitor, mechanically, fumbling with unfamilliar tasks. You put your hand on his shoulder and he flinches, so you just lean back and invite him over He moves without pleasure or intensity. It's like hes... somewhere else. Like this is distasteful to him, a duty that has to be performed, one that risks comuption and failure. His expression never changes As you look into his pale, dead eyes, for no reason that you can explain, you begin to cry.

/tg/
40k warhammer 4chan /tg/ ig krieg

The Big Bottomed Blast

[- ] □ My god, it's full of butt, part 1: the Cluwne factory Anonymous 14/08/12(Tue)20:42 No.20319052+] xposted from SA One of the round types in S513 is Wizard, in which a powerful wizard is tasked with completing several objectives, while the crew must attempt to kill him. Wizards get access to a huge variety of spells, but can only choose four of them from the list at the start of the round, these are the spells they are limited to for the whole round One such spell is Curse of the Cluwne (at least, I think that's what it's called). This spell is generally considered a choice for "advanced" wizard players, since it has an extremely long cooldown, only targets one opponent, and can only be used at melee range, making it quite risky to use. It's still a popular spell, though, as it is far and away the griefiest spell of all. The Curse instantly transforms its victim into a Cluwne: a morbidly obese, subhuman, epileptic, brain-damaged, amazingly annoying ur-clown named 'the cluwne" and wearing utterly hideous neon green clown clothing that is cursed and therefore cannot be removed. Cluwnes are traditionally marked for death by their non-cursed former comrades, and even when they manage to escape being murdered by an angry mob, they are so f------ terrible at everything that their very existence is torment and they commonly wind up begging for death since their incredible incompetence can actually make it difficult for them to successfully commit suicide [- ] □ My god, it's full of butt, part 1 a: the Cluwne factory Anonymous 1408/12(Tue)20:42 No.20319059[r] I have played in quite a few Wizard rounds, but one still sticks out as my absolute favourite. The wizard went on a Cluwney rampage that was funny as hell on its own, but the actions of one enterprising Roboticist turned the round from "hilarious" to "oh jesus my sides l'm dying over here" in no time flat. This ambitious soul retrieved a murdered Cluwne and dragged it back to his lab; ordinarily this would be a reason for the Cluwne to rejoice, since a Cluwne brain can still function perfectly normally if transferred into a cyborg, granting the player a new lease on life [- ] My god, it's full of butt, part 1 b: the Cluwne factory Anonymous 14/08/12(Tue)20:43 No. 20319069[r] 2x20319203 The Roboticist did not borg the Cluwne. He had other plans. Butt plans The deceased sad-clown was delivered to Genetics, where the Roboticist and a Geneticist entered into collusion. Now two people were in on the butt plans. I have no idea what madness they got up to in there, but I do know that the second Roboticist was put on Butt Duty, bringing the known number of butt plan conspirators up to at least three. It is also likely that a delivery man nvo ed the process along, as Butt Duty was a full-time job. All those butts had to come from somewhere, however: They were cloning Cluwnes The mastermind behind it all sat contentedly at his operating table and worked with astounding assembly-line efficiency. Behind him was a locker with a seemingly limitless number of twitching, honking, wee repeat. The man on Butt Duty would then grab the Cluwne butt and slap a robot arm onto it, creating a Buttbot, a butt on wheels that served no purpose wne utt t to be a butt and say the word "butt □ My god, it's full of butt, part 2: the butte ning Anonymous 14/08/12(Tue)20:44 No.20319073[r] 2220319203 wor But OW eat what was said, with "butt" substituted in place of random words This be The Buttbots chirped u titanic cacophony of butt. The Captain few into a rage and decided to destroy all of the Buttbots, but he forgot that they leave Seeing this, some jokester took a radio, turned on its microphone so that it would publicly broadcast anything it picked up, and tossed it into the room. e when the Ca led into Medbay and was aghast at its sorry state. "What the f--- is going on here?" he shouted chorus. "What the butt is butt on here?" "Butt the f--- butt n butt?" "What butt but butt here?" and s of auditory butt. This her excited the Buttbots, making it totally impossible for anyone nearby to hear what was said of poo when destroyed; it ot long before he □ My god, it's full of butt, part 3: victory of the robutti cists Anonymous 14/08/12(Tue 20:45 No. 20319079 ▼ >>20319203 Well, s---, now nobody could hear anything. Every radio on the station became a hellish noise cannon, blasting out an incomprehensible wall of recursive butt laced with garbled cursing and butt-riddled mockeries of the crew's At s wne n Me The
[- ] □ My god, it's full of butt, part 1: the Cluwne factory Anonymous 14/08/12(Tue)20:42 No.20319052+] xposted from SA One of the round types in S513 is Wizard, in which a powerful wizard is tasked with completing several objectives, while the crew must attempt to kill him. Wizards get access to a huge variety of spells, but can only choose four of them from the list at the start of the round, these are the spells they are limited to for the whole round One such spell is Curse of the Cluwne (at least, I think that's what it's called). This spell is generally considered a choice for "advanced" wizard players, since it has an extremely long cooldown, only targets one opponent, and can only be used at melee range, making it quite risky to use. It's still a popular spell, though, as it is far and away the griefiest spell of all. The Curse instantly transforms its victim into a Cluwne: a morbidly obese, subhuman, epileptic, brain-damaged, amazingly annoying ur-clown named 'the cluwne" and wearing utterly hideous neon green clown clothing that is cursed and therefore cannot be removed. Cluwnes are traditionally marked for death by their non-cursed former comrades, and even when they manage to escape being murdered by an angry mob, they are so f------ terrible at everything that their very existence is torment and they commonly wind up begging for death since their incredible incompetence can actually make it difficult for them to successfully commit suicide [- ] □ My god, it's full of butt, part 1 a: the Cluwne factory Anonymous 1408/12(Tue)20:42 No.20319059[r] I have played in quite a few Wizard rounds, but one still sticks out as my absolute favourite. The wizard went on a Cluwney rampage that was funny as hell on its own, but the actions of one enterprising Roboticist turned the round from "hilarious" to "oh jesus my sides l'm dying over here" in no time flat. This ambitious soul retrieved a murdered Cluwne and dragged it back to his lab; ordinarily this would be a reason for the Cluwne to rejoice, since a Cluwne brain can still function perfectly normally if transferred into a cyborg, granting the player a new lease on life [- ] My god, it's full of butt, part 1 b: the Cluwne factory Anonymous 14/08/12(Tue)20:43 No. 20319069[r] 2x20319203 The Roboticist did not borg the Cluwne. He had other plans. Butt plans The deceased sad-clown was delivered to Genetics, where the Roboticist and a Geneticist entered into collusion. Now two people were in on the butt plans. I have no idea what madness they got up to in there, but I do know that the second Roboticist was put on Butt Duty, bringing the known number of butt plan conspirators up to at least three. It is also likely that a delivery man nvo ed the process along, as Butt Duty was a full-time job. All those butts had to come from somewhere, however: They were cloning Cluwnes The mastermind behind it all sat contentedly at his operating table and worked with astounding assembly-line efficiency. Behind him was a locker with a seemingly limitless number of twitching, honking, wee repeat. The man on Butt Duty would then grab the Cluwne butt and slap a robot arm onto it, creating a Buttbot, a butt on wheels that served no purpose wne utt t to be a butt and say the word "butt □ My god, it's full of butt, part 2: the butte ning Anonymous 14/08/12(Tue)20:44 No.20319073[r] 2220319203 wor But OW eat what was said, with "butt" substituted in place of random words This be The Buttbots chirped u titanic cacophony of butt. The Captain few into a rage and decided to destroy all of the Buttbots, but he forgot that they leave Seeing this, some jokester took a radio, turned on its microphone so that it would publicly broadcast anything it picked up, and tossed it into the room. e when the Ca led into Medbay and was aghast at its sorry state. "What the f--- is going on here?" he shouted chorus. "What the butt is butt on here?" "Butt the f--- butt n butt?" "What butt but butt here?" and s of auditory butt. This her excited the Buttbots, making it totally impossible for anyone nearby to hear what was said of poo when destroyed; it ot long before he □ My god, it's full of butt, part 3: victory of the robutti cists Anonymous 14/08/12(Tue 20:45 No. 20319079 ▼ >>20319203 Well, s---, now nobody could hear anything. Every radio on the station became a hellish noise cannon, blasting out an incomprehensible wall of recursive butt laced with garbled cursing and butt-riddled mockeries of the crew's At s wne n Me The

/tg/
ss13 /tg/ 4chan