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darleks aren't the only ones scared of stairs

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4chan 8chan greentext /tg/

Weclome to the Space SLAM

come on and slam /tg/ 4chan 8chan greentext traditional games

paladain: the redemption

, ears and sernwon deep vithin w she manages the wow youcan sew ne Please.疥y want you snopthisT Far a menent yau eel every instat off pain and risay and sunge and thast and despair h dis iswable lele child has experened her 7 shat years hanted by the uwa, 더his te thenaghly As you make eys contactyes uda y lee m age you'ne having and ays 22122 urage doeun ta thry Thry bilion people are 2211902 Yau bink Less than a secand has passed Your rurager doeun't evee hon going Sevee billion sods al.ndenstand鸸騝rai" supposed to da ateus z.nost of these people alseady deat th씌 msey has altady happened Mhat are Mest ot the ame, youhe a boody mess You cut yoursel neglay 2139008 The sedt change happess at meine. For a beel oent yee a tash you expecence the sueing and tomeet of an entse batery Cows Pigs The secasianul at Scen your ceescuses expands beyand ery being that ded lke corgassion and psice and enightesmest ssld have sere sat of Woe the Techescracy, think they can 2212231 胔to soot, that tying 30 make ronet@fchers happy i..wny mesan by the hope that &jast beps spiing keg eegh.tins Original Story ends here, But Several posts later: 2212 And sometw9.se" you breaks an apety.fut coated you rukang pina seerse 6aforng of oners, but rever d·anynag abe甙襛 creaks out three, tiny woeds And it sang of sthe things a Thing that ave no wards, in this or any langag Thingn that wl drve her to the saTE CaE an yau for The Masic only souches thase knowsbald in them the strength to andure, in this fawed wald thoas whe vll find wthe Thinga that only The Music can speak of, to thoas whe vi laten Things that only a Pad And in the end: 550s1400 1322968377024 p 00

, ears and sernwon deep vithin w she manages the wow youcan sew ne Please.疥y want you snopthisT Far a menent yau eel every instat off pain and risay and sunge and thast and despair h dis iswable lele child has experened her 7 shat years hanted by the uwa, 더his te thenaghly As you make eys contactyes uda y lee m age you'ne having and ays 22122 urage doeun ta thry Thry bilion people are 2211902 Yau bink Less than a secand has passed Your rurager doeun't evee hon going Sevee billion sods al.ndenstand鸸騝rai" supposed to da ateus z.nost of these people alseady deat th씌 msey has altady happened Mhat are Mest ot the ame, youhe a boody mess You cut yoursel neglay 2139008 The sedt change happess at meine. For a beel oent yee a tash you expecence the sueing and tomeet of an entse batery Cows Pigs The secasianul at Scen your ceescuses expands beyand ery being that ded lke corgassion and psice and enightesmest ssld have sere sat of Woe the Techescracy, think they can 2212231 胔to soot, that tying 30 make ronet@fchers happy i..wny mesan by the hope that &jast beps spiing keg eegh.tins Original Story ends here, But Several posts later: 2212 And sometw9.se" you breaks an apety.fut coated you rukang pina seerse 6aforng of oners, but rever d·anynag abe甙襛 creaks out three, tiny woeds And it sang of sthe things a Thing that ave no wards, in this or any langag Thingn that wl drve her to the saTE CaE an yau for The Masic only souches thase knowsbald in them the strength to andure, in this fawed wald thoas whe vll find wthe Thinga that only The Music can speak of, to thoas whe vi laten Things that only a Pad And in the end: 550s1400 1322968377024 p 00

4chan 8chan /tg/ greentext traditional games

Casting fist

File: 1314053411 ipa11 KB, 184x184, bf445ca67343678e52e14b5cc7429bf6c2e57db..pg) Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:50 No.16028538 There's a Prestige Class called Cancer Mage in Book of Vile Darkness. The first level ability allows a Cancer Mage to ignore any negative effects of a disease In the same book there's a disease called Festering Anger. This disease grants a +2 to Strength if you can contract it, with an additional +2 per day Cancer Mage+Festering Anger Enough Time Infinite Strength MUSCLE WZARDS Discuss Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No.16028559 3.5 is horribly broken. We get it Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No. 16028567 It's not broken, it's "rewarding mastery of the system' Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No.16028568 The BOVD and the BOED were both regarded as slightly broken and really shouldn't be used by anyone Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)1853 № 16028571 File 1314053581ipg-(211 KB, 600x900, 1294973421728 jpg) do want What ho, Muscle Wizard! Might you cast us a spellP Ho Ho Ho Ho! Of course young ICAST FIST Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.05 No.16028734 With Improved Grapple, you won't provoke opportunity attacks. And you can deal 381 nonlethal and lethal damage a round, minimum. You can wrestle a Tarasque to death. Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:07 No.16028765 If you think THATS bad, you should, very carefully, read the description of the spell "no light" in the BoVD Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)19:09 No.16028786 16028734 it low-to-o teligence, and a feat that lets you add your Str bonus to l tir date So one ght easi este a Tarrasque noniet ally to 아 and then punch it until it gives you a pg back There's a feat that lets you ntimidate creatures ride F------ muscle wizards, man Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.12 No.16028817 Seems legit What am I missing here? Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.16 No. 16028851 time for a THAT GUY type question how to make the most broken muscle wizard? Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:19 No.16028877 I don't know the Wizard's roster that well, but I'm sure there's a combination of spells so that you can make a time bubble, give yourself an infinite amount of food, halt your aging, step inside, and fast-forward time a few years in a matter of minuteS Then, punch the DMPC 08/22/11(Mon)19:21 No. 16028899 File 1314055301.ipg-(2 KB, 126x95, 1304582177200s jpg) 16028877 it's too broken for me to handle Hell, use that as a Cancer Mage. YOUR STRENGTH FUELS YOUR SPELLCASTING. Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)19 45 No 16029142 lllumian They're bald tool But they can grow mustaches, if I recall. Thus fulfilling the prophecy of OP's image! Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:48 No.16029176 >>16029095 300 level 9 spells a day fueled by flexing your muscles YES Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.50 No. 16029193 216029095 Not only that, but if you take Leadership, Epic Leadership, and Might Makes Right, you can add your theoretically infinite Str bonus to your leadership level You can have literally MILLIONS of followers, all attracted by the SHEER POWER OF YOUR MUSCLES Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:53 No.16029225 This reminds me of Morrowind. You could catch Corprus, then use shrines a couple of times a week to remove the negative modifiers from it Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)20:15 No.16029399 So you'd be Amold Schwarzenegger? Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)20:56 No.16029786 The sheer amount GLORIOUS MUSCLE contained in this thread makes me weep with joy

File: 1314053411 ipa11 KB, 184x184, bf445ca67343678e52e14b5cc7429bf6c2e57db..pg) Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:50 No.16028538 There's a Prestige Class called Cancer Mage in Book of Vile Darkness. The first level ability allows a Cancer Mage to ignore any negative effects of a disease In the same book there's a disease called Festering Anger. This disease grants a +2 to Strength if you can contract it, with an additional +2 per day Cancer Mage+Festering Anger Enough Time Infinite Strength MUSCLE WZARDS Discuss Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No.16028559 3.5 is horribly broken. We get it Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No. 16028567 It's not broken, it's "rewarding mastery of the system' Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)18:52 No.16028568 The BOVD and the BOED were both regarded as slightly broken and really shouldn't be used by anyone Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)1853 № 16028571 File 1314053581ipg-(211 KB, 600x900, 1294973421728 jpg) do want What ho, Muscle Wizard! Might you cast us a spellP Ho Ho Ho Ho! Of course young ICAST FIST Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.05 No.16028734 With Improved Grapple, you won't provoke opportunity attacks. And you can deal 381 nonlethal and lethal damage a round, minimum. You can wrestle a Tarasque to death. Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:07 No.16028765 If you think THATS bad, you should, very carefully, read the description of the spell "no light" in the BoVD Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)19:09 No.16028786 16028734 it low-to-o teligence, and a feat that lets you add your Str bonus to l tir date So one ght easi este a Tarrasque noniet ally to 아 and then punch it until it gives you a pg back There's a feat that lets you ntimidate creatures ride F------ muscle wizards, man Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.12 No.16028817 Seems legit What am I missing here? Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.16 No. 16028851 time for a THAT GUY type question how to make the most broken muscle wizard? Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:19 No.16028877 I don't know the Wizard's roster that well, but I'm sure there's a combination of spells so that you can make a time bubble, give yourself an infinite amount of food, halt your aging, step inside, and fast-forward time a few years in a matter of minuteS Then, punch the DMPC 08/22/11(Mon)19:21 No. 16028899 File 1314055301.ipg-(2 KB, 126x95, 1304582177200s jpg) 16028877 it's too broken for me to handle Hell, use that as a Cancer Mage. YOUR STRENGTH FUELS YOUR SPELLCASTING. Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)19 45 No 16029142 lllumian They're bald tool But they can grow mustaches, if I recall. Thus fulfilling the prophecy of OP's image! Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:48 No.16029176 >>16029095 300 level 9 spells a day fueled by flexing your muscles YES Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19.50 No. 16029193 216029095 Not only that, but if you take Leadership, Epic Leadership, and Might Makes Right, you can add your theoretically infinite Str bonus to your leadership level You can have literally MILLIONS of followers, all attracted by the SHEER POWER OF YOUR MUSCLES Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)19:53 No.16029225 This reminds me of Morrowind. You could catch Corprus, then use shrines a couple of times a week to remove the negative modifiers from it Anonymous 08/22/11(Mon)20:15 No.16029399 So you'd be Amold Schwarzenegger? Anonymous 08/22/11 (Mon)20:56 No.16029786 The sheer amount GLORIOUS MUSCLE contained in this thread makes me weep with joy

4chan /tg/ 8chan greentext traditional games

Now that's some spooky shit

File 1289927834.gif-(246 KB, 500x441, skeletons.gif) undead thread Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:17 No.12818985 Hey gents, let's talk about those zany undead Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:18 No. 12819002 bump Anonymous 1 1/16/10(Tue)12:22 No. 1281 9026 f--- yeah undead. lemme find some saved stuff while i do that, thread about awesome liches: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1513305/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:25 No. 12819047 >Obligritory mention of skeletons, due to not having muscles, moving via magic. Ergo there is no physical limit (bar friction breaking them) on how fast they can move their arms. Logically you can wear their arms down to blades. Logically they can spin their arms fast enough to generate lft ying skeleton blenders Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:40 No.12819172 File 1289929226.gif-(11 KB, 420x522, death-knight.gif) Liches man they are the best COMMISSAR FORON !INbubB9jqLRJ 11/16/10(Tue)12:46 No.12819216 File 1289929580 ipg-(20 KB, 214x271, 1274204235078.jpg) 12819047 >Everything you just said >Its glorious Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:07 No.12819386 So wait, if they can move real fast (improved initative, skitter, s--- like that) would it be faster for them to run or cartwheel? Actually, would it be faster just to get like some skeleton quadrapeds or something and nail some lances to their backs. Prehaps fill their ribs with lead to make them heavy and just make em RAM THE F--- outta castles? With a decent run up and some leg reinforcing I could easy see one hitting 100mph Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:10 No.12819414 P> >cartwheeling skeletons My players would emit the power of a thousand WTFs the instant I unveil that Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:24 No.12821640 7 KB, 640x400, fly skeletons.jpg) THIlIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPP!!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:26 No.12821659 >12821640 F--- YES! YOU'RE POST IS GOOD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL GOOD!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:29 No.12821693 >12821640 I love /tg/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:32 No.12821714 P> Did somebody say... SKELECOPTERS!? □ CommissarMega !EJmdGZdQ+SD 11/16/10(Tue)17:34 No.12821743 I swear if i ever saw skelecopters. I would die. Not because they chopped me to pieces but because l was laughing so hard I couldn't breath Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:35 No.12821754 File 1289946922 ipg-(28 KB, 472x454, Respek_Knuckles.jpg) Spo >12819047 P> uckl

File 1289927834.gif-(246 KB, 500x441, skeletons.gif) undead thread Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:17 No.12818985 Hey gents, let's talk about those zany undead Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:18 No. 12819002 bump Anonymous 1 1/16/10(Tue)12:22 No. 1281 9026 f--- yeah undead. lemme find some saved stuff while i do that, thread about awesome liches: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1513305/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:25 No. 12819047 >Obligritory mention of skeletons, due to not having muscles, moving via magic. Ergo there is no physical limit (bar friction breaking them) on how fast they can move their arms. Logically you can wear their arms down to blades. Logically they can spin their arms fast enough to generate lft ying skeleton blenders Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)12:40 No.12819172 File 1289929226.gif-(11 KB, 420x522, death-knight.gif) Liches man they are the best COMMISSAR FORON !INbubB9jqLRJ 11/16/10(Tue)12:46 No.12819216 File 1289929580 ipg-(20 KB, 214x271, 1274204235078.jpg) 12819047 >Everything you just said >Its glorious Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:07 No.12819386 So wait, if they can move real fast (improved initative, skitter, s--- like that) would it be faster for them to run or cartwheel? Actually, would it be faster just to get like some skeleton quadrapeds or something and nail some lances to their backs. Prehaps fill their ribs with lead to make them heavy and just make em RAM THE F--- outta castles? With a decent run up and some leg reinforcing I could easy see one hitting 100mph Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)13:10 No.12819414 P> >cartwheeling skeletons My players would emit the power of a thousand WTFs the instant I unveil that Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:24 No.12821640 7 KB, 640x400, fly skeletons.jpg) THIlIIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPP!!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:26 No.12821659 >12821640 F--- YES! YOU'RE POST IS GOOD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL GOOD!! Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:29 No.12821693 >12821640 I love /tg/ Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:32 No.12821714 P> Did somebody say... SKELECOPTERS!? □ CommissarMega !EJmdGZdQ+SD 11/16/10(Tue)17:34 No.12821743 I swear if i ever saw skelecopters. I would die. Not because they chopped me to pieces but because l was laughing so hard I couldn't breath Anonymous 11/16/10(Tue)17:35 No.12821754 File 1289946922 ipg-(28 KB, 472x454, Respek_Knuckles.jpg) Spo >12819047 P> uckl

/tg/ 8chan 4chan greentext traditional games

hippy elementals

It burns so good.

8chan 4chan /tg/ greentext traditional games

old man henderson 2

part 2 of old man henderson
the original can be found here
https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940168-tg

part 2 of old man henderson
the original can be found here
https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940168-tg

/tg/ greentext 4chan 8chan traditional games

old man henderson 1, the man the legend

part one of the old man henderson story,
you can find all if it complied here
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson
audio form
https://soundcloud.com/stephanosrex/the-tale-of-old-man-henderson

part one of the old man henderson story,
you can find all if it complied here
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson
audio form
https://soundcloud.com/stephanosrex/the-tale-of-old-man-henderson

greentext old man henderson /tg/ 4chan 8chan traditional games

Bring me to your jamster

File: 1357624956718.ipg-(97 KB, 792x794, 7.jpg) □ Anonymous 01/08/13(Tue)01:02 No.22464072 Replies: 2222464185 > The dark Lichnomancer was prophecized to be defeated in battle by the Chosen One five hundred years ago > He failed, and the Lichnomancer cast the world into darkness > You live in squalor, in one of a few remaining scattered villages of the living, trying not to draw attention from the roving zombie armies that aren't even necessary, but still terrorize those "lucky" enough to still remain > You get about two hours of cloudly sunlight per day around noon, and the farmlands can barely support the village - the rest of the day there is nothing but magically-induced darkness in the sky > One day a black-and-gold carriage made out of painted human bones, its wheels made of metal spikes and human skulls, pulls into your village > Everyone locks themselves in their homes, but you were too slow > Ohshitohshitohshit > Carriage opens its door, out comes a twelve-foot lich with a flaming skull and black robes, his nine-foot tall stff with a gem the color of human souls on top > "HUMAN," he says in a voice that chills you to the bone. "I HAVE COME HERE FOR ONE REASON - AND ONE REASON ALONE. SUBMIT, AND I MAY SPARE THIS VILLAGE, IF ONLY OUT OF DISINTEREST IN IT." > Your knees wobbling > He slams his staff into the ground, and around you forms a basketball court out of blood, bones, sinnew, the nets made out of preserved muscles. The moon above blinks out of existence no, it just shrunk, so much that it now falls from the sky, and with a slam, lands, bouncing once, twice, three times in front of you , you croke out a "What?" > "I AM HERE TO JAM." the lichnomancer says, and picks up the ball. He throws it into your chest, and you find it's the weight of a normal basketball What do?

File: 1357624956718.ipg-(97 KB, 792x794, 7.jpg) □ Anonymous 01/08/13(Tue)01:02 No.22464072 Replies: 2222464185 > The dark Lichnomancer was prophecized to be defeated in battle by the Chosen One five hundred years ago > He failed, and the Lichnomancer cast the world into darkness > You live in squalor, in one of a few remaining scattered villages of the living, trying not to draw attention from the roving zombie armies that aren't even necessary, but still terrorize those "lucky" enough to still remain > You get about two hours of cloudly sunlight per day around noon, and the farmlands can barely support the village - the rest of the day there is nothing but magically-induced darkness in the sky > One day a black-and-gold carriage made out of painted human bones, its wheels made of metal spikes and human skulls, pulls into your village > Everyone locks themselves in their homes, but you were too slow > Ohshitohshitohshit > Carriage opens its door, out comes a twelve-foot lich with a flaming skull and black robes, his nine-foot tall stff with a gem the color of human souls on top > "HUMAN," he says in a voice that chills you to the bone. "I HAVE COME HERE FOR ONE REASON - AND ONE REASON ALONE. SUBMIT, AND I MAY SPARE THIS VILLAGE, IF ONLY OUT OF DISINTEREST IN IT." > Your knees wobbling > He slams his staff into the ground, and around you forms a basketball court out of blood, bones, sinnew, the nets made out of preserved muscles. The moon above blinks out of existence no, it just shrunk, so much that it now falls from the sky, and with a slam, lands, bouncing once, twice, three times in front of you , you croke out a "What?" > "I AM HERE TO JAM." the lichnomancer says, and picks up the ball. He throws it into your chest, and you find it's the weight of a normal basketball What do?

/tg/ 4chan 8chan greentext come on an slam traditional games

the ulimate nercomancer

File: 1332209948.ipg-(175 KB, 1600x1022, Ultimate_Necromancer.jpg) Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:19 No.133208539 I was eating breakfast today and I dropped my spoon in the cereal. after I has fished it out I looked up and there, sitting across the table from me, was the Ultimate Necromancer. "l know you ain't lookin in there for yo virginity." I choked and lurched forward and spat a mouthful of milky cereal on the table. one of his skeletons walked into the kitchen. the skeleton was like "damn" Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:20 No.133208638 I was taking notes in class when the ultimate necromancer walked into the lecture hall and sat down next to me. I squirmed in my chair and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. nobody else seemed to notice his staff and cloak and the skeletons who shambled in afterwards and sat in the next row back. he took out a notebook and began taking notes. I looked over quickly to see what he was writing and it said "my skeleton's aint the only one in this hall with they bones showing. check it." I gasped and the lecturer suddenly spun around, dropped his chalk on the floor, and was like "damn! Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:21 No.133208730 I was out at the graveyard digging up a few coffins with the help of my two least rotted zombies when a dark figure in a velour robe walked up to me with a big-breasted vampire girl hanging off his arm. He lifted up his shades and looked me over head to toe before speaking. "Boy, you about as spooky as a closed-down Hot Topic store." He gestured to my magical staff. "Look at this s---, somewhere there's a playground with some sad-ass kids wondering where they tetherball pole went." One of the zombies was obviously agitated and started shambling towards the mysterious man. With the flick of a hand, he sent a cone of cold at the zombie, freezing its putrid flesh almost instantly. A quick thrust of his cane shattered the hapless creature instantly. "Look hard, son. That's the most ice you're ever gonna see in your unlife." He and his vampire companion turned to leave. Before disappearing into the shadows completely, he shouted into the night, "And your ceremonial robe look like a dishrag." I was stupefied and speechless. At that moment, I knew how my zombies felt. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:22 No.133208846 on the train yesterday I got on at gallivan square and was heading down towards ballpark when I saw a bum on the side of the road with a sign. I read it and it said "my skeleton called he wants he rags back" and I looked again at the bum and realized it was the ultimate necromancer! I gasped and tried to turn away but at the next stop who should get on but the ultimate necromancer himself. he sits down next to me and a few of his skeletons come on and stand around holding on to the railings. I'm shaking with fear and the sweat is pouring in torrents down my face and back. the necromancer leans in close to me and whispers in my ear "I've got a reanimated cat that's more p---- than you're ever gonna see." and I screamed, tore my clothes, leaped from the seat, slammed my head and arms on the plexiglass window until it broke, leaped through it from the moving train at sixty miles an hour, landed on the gravel beside the tracks, and tore at my face and eyes with my own hands while a bloodcurdling "DAMN!" forced its way from my throat. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:26 No.133209127 I was fighting some knights in a dank dungeon the other day and l'd just sent the last one toppling backwards into a pit of spikes when one of my dread zombies gestured to the darkness at the other end of the passage and groaned. I cast a light spell and who should it reveal but the ultimate necromancer. a skeleton with a wide pelvis was on his arm and his cane throbbed with dark energies. I shifted my weight from foot to foot. "that iron spike the only thing penetratin up in this fortress of solitude." my zombies thrashed about in agony and my face turned ashen. I moved to bring my staff to bear on him but he waved me away with a flick of his diamond-encrusted fingers. "you can bring the dead back to life but n---- you staff flaccid like a wet french fry." I screamed and the scream reverbated through the passages of the dungeon, bouncing off the mossy stone and returning to me twisted, garbled and from a thousand different directions. I sank to my knees and the ultimate necromancer passed by. from the spike pit, with his dying breath the knight struggled to lift his head and mumble "damn Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:27 No.133209238 I was in the club looking to on the floor. Even I can't bring that s--- back." I felt woozy. With a snap of his fingers, every girl in the joint heeled up behind him. "Let's roll up outta here, ladies. This scene's dead as hell anyway I held my hand to my rapidly thumping heart as The Ultimate Necromancer floated to the door. With one last glance, he flipped an old dusty grimoire at my feet. "Study up on some skills, lil man With trembling fingers, I reached for the book, only to have it jump up and slap me across the jaw. "Lesson one, bitch. You can't teach this s---." The spellbook took off after The Ultimate Necromancer, and his laughter rung in my ears p on a girl when I feel a cold tap on my shoulder. I'm shocked into shame to see it's none other than The Ultimate Necromancer. "Look at your game, rotting there □ Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:30 No.13320947 I stayed home because I was afraid of running into the ultimate necromancer so l watched TV. They were about to award the oscars. Than I saw him. The ultimate necromancer won in the category of best everything. He took his price and stared calmly into one of the cameras. He uttered I have a few words to say these words alone made me nervous Sweating and pantingI tried to grab the remote, but I couldnt find it. ..a little shoutout to a certain wannabe necromancer thats watching right now...who only reanimates the dead because he cant get laid with real girls...' my head starts to hurt. The taste of blood fills my mouth. "... but even the dead reject him.' My vision gets blurry and I start to vomit. '1 heard he dug his grandma out recently.' I start breathing histerically. 'So who knows...' I pee my pants in fear. I cant make a single clear thougt. '...if he lost his virginity to her.' I fell over and tried to gather my last bit of power, but no use The last thing im seeing... hundreds of zombie celbrities looking at the camera, moaning in unison 'damn' Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:32 No.133209606 One time I was praying to god hoping he would forgive me for my sins. The ultimate Necromancer came up from behind and whispered into my ear: 'there is no god. after death your flesh will decay and your corpse will rot. God is dead. and hes my slave now.' I looked up to the sky and heard a divine voice like thunder roar 'DAMN"

File: 1332209948.ipg-(175 KB, 1600x1022, Ultimate_Necromancer.jpg) Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:19 No.133208539 I was eating breakfast today and I dropped my spoon in the cereal. after I has fished it out I looked up and there, sitting across the table from me, was the Ultimate Necromancer. "l know you ain't lookin in there for yo virginity." I choked and lurched forward and spat a mouthful of milky cereal on the table. one of his skeletons walked into the kitchen. the skeleton was like "damn" Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:20 No.133208638 I was taking notes in class when the ultimate necromancer walked into the lecture hall and sat down next to me. I squirmed in my chair and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. nobody else seemed to notice his staff and cloak and the skeletons who shambled in afterwards and sat in the next row back. he took out a notebook and began taking notes. I looked over quickly to see what he was writing and it said "my skeleton's aint the only one in this hall with they bones showing. check it." I gasped and the lecturer suddenly spun around, dropped his chalk on the floor, and was like "damn! Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:21 No.133208730 I was out at the graveyard digging up a few coffins with the help of my two least rotted zombies when a dark figure in a velour robe walked up to me with a big-breasted vampire girl hanging off his arm. He lifted up his shades and looked me over head to toe before speaking. "Boy, you about as spooky as a closed-down Hot Topic store." He gestured to my magical staff. "Look at this s---, somewhere there's a playground with some sad-ass kids wondering where they tetherball pole went." One of the zombies was obviously agitated and started shambling towards the mysterious man. With the flick of a hand, he sent a cone of cold at the zombie, freezing its putrid flesh almost instantly. A quick thrust of his cane shattered the hapless creature instantly. "Look hard, son. That's the most ice you're ever gonna see in your unlife." He and his vampire companion turned to leave. Before disappearing into the shadows completely, he shouted into the night, "And your ceremonial robe look like a dishrag." I was stupefied and speechless. At that moment, I knew how my zombies felt. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:22 No.133208846 on the train yesterday I got on at gallivan square and was heading down towards ballpark when I saw a bum on the side of the road with a sign. I read it and it said "my skeleton called he wants he rags back" and I looked again at the bum and realized it was the ultimate necromancer! I gasped and tried to turn away but at the next stop who should get on but the ultimate necromancer himself. he sits down next to me and a few of his skeletons come on and stand around holding on to the railings. I'm shaking with fear and the sweat is pouring in torrents down my face and back. the necromancer leans in close to me and whispers in my ear "I've got a reanimated cat that's more p---- than you're ever gonna see." and I screamed, tore my clothes, leaped from the seat, slammed my head and arms on the plexiglass window until it broke, leaped through it from the moving train at sixty miles an hour, landed on the gravel beside the tracks, and tore at my face and eyes with my own hands while a bloodcurdling "DAMN!" forced its way from my throat. Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:26 No.133209127 I was fighting some knights in a dank dungeon the other day and l'd just sent the last one toppling backwards into a pit of spikes when one of my dread zombies gestured to the darkness at the other end of the passage and groaned. I cast a light spell and who should it reveal but the ultimate necromancer. a skeleton with a wide pelvis was on his arm and his cane throbbed with dark energies. I shifted my weight from foot to foot. "that iron spike the only thing penetratin up in this fortress of solitude." my zombies thrashed about in agony and my face turned ashen. I moved to bring my staff to bear on him but he waved me away with a flick of his diamond-encrusted fingers. "you can bring the dead back to life but n---- you staff flaccid like a wet french fry." I screamed and the scream reverbated through the passages of the dungeon, bouncing off the mossy stone and returning to me twisted, garbled and from a thousand different directions. I sank to my knees and the ultimate necromancer passed by. from the spike pit, with his dying breath the knight struggled to lift his head and mumble "damn Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:27 No.133209238 I was in the club looking to on the floor. Even I can't bring that s--- back." I felt woozy. With a snap of his fingers, every girl in the joint heeled up behind him. "Let's roll up outta here, ladies. This scene's dead as hell anyway I held my hand to my rapidly thumping heart as The Ultimate Necromancer floated to the door. With one last glance, he flipped an old dusty grimoire at my feet. "Study up on some skills, lil man With trembling fingers, I reached for the book, only to have it jump up and slap me across the jaw. "Lesson one, bitch. You can't teach this s---." The spellbook took off after The Ultimate Necromancer, and his laughter rung in my ears p on a girl when I feel a cold tap on my shoulder. I'm shocked into shame to see it's none other than The Ultimate Necromancer. "Look at your game, rotting there □ Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:30 No.13320947 I stayed home because I was afraid of running into the ultimate necromancer so l watched TV. They were about to award the oscars. Than I saw him. The ultimate necromancer won in the category of best everything. He took his price and stared calmly into one of the cameras. He uttered I have a few words to say these words alone made me nervous Sweating and pantingI tried to grab the remote, but I couldnt find it. ..a little shoutout to a certain wannabe necromancer thats watching right now...who only reanimates the dead because he cant get laid with real girls...' my head starts to hurt. The taste of blood fills my mouth. "... but even the dead reject him.' My vision gets blurry and I start to vomit. '1 heard he dug his grandma out recently.' I start breathing histerically. 'So who knows...' I pee my pants in fear. I cant make a single clear thougt. '...if he lost his virginity to her.' I fell over and tried to gather my last bit of power, but no use The last thing im seeing... hundreds of zombie celbrities looking at the camera, moaning in unison 'damn' Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:32 No.133209606 One time I was praying to god hoping he would forgive me for my sins. The ultimate Necromancer came up from behind and whispered into my ear: 'there is no god. after death your flesh will decay and your corpse will rot. God is dead. and hes my slave now.' I looked up to the sky and heard a divine voice like thunder roar 'DAMN"

greentext 4chan 8chan /tg/ traditional games

we were the that guy anon

□ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677063 團困 I recall a group almost ten years ago where "THAT GUY" was a relatively new player to our group and we'd agreed the game was going to be about mid-high fantasy D&D heroics So he shows up with this drunken old man lout of a fighter. Meanwhile we're all playing young kind of weeaboo anime hero types. We tolerated him and how often he'd talk about how drunk, smelly, and generally obnoxious his character was. He would use metagame knowledge to make fun of our characters in character, laughing at us when we'd get knocked out, calling us cowards when we failed our fear checks, and the DM would take pity on us and just kind of give us "let it slide" looks and let us take rerolls. We'd bitch about it between sessions and we sort of grew to hate the guy as a player, His character would go onto long diatribes about dungeons and gold and how useless we were and we'd get into hour long arguments where the DM would constantly have to remind us all to "keep it IC. Anyway this campaign goes on for at least a year, and the storyline is kind of climaxing and a DMNPC gets kidnapped, so after another argument session we get convinced by THAT GUY" to take a suicide mission and storm a castle, and he's basically yelling at us IRL we have to do it. □ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677068 5677063 So when we agree, he leaves the room with the DM for a few minutes, and we assume this is all some metaplot how he's going to f--- us over and steal our s---. They come back in as if nothing had happened. Session continues but we're all on guard, assuming something is up. We storm the castle or whatever, and have a lot of fun, not really noticing that this guy has stopped being so obnoxious. He hasnt once mentioned how his character reeks of whiskey or onions or whatever, though he wastes a good five minutes explaining how his character shaved his beard. Whatever, we just assume the DM talked to him about how it was annoying us. Epic battles ensue and Fast forward to face off with the BBEG, some Lich thing, and the fight isnt going so well We're getting spanked, our Cleric is down, and Mr. Fighter has a haste and out of nowhere he goes, "I rush to Cedric (the Cleric) and slap him 'GET UP YOU COWARD" At this point I groan but the DM is like "Cedric, you're back up with XX HP." Then Mr. "Fighter" goes, "I turn to the Lich and I smite him." And suddenly it clicked for all of us. F----- had been playing a Paladin the entire time. His insults were his lay-on-hands and calling us out as cowards were his Anti-fear aura. He wasn't "That Guy," "we" were "that guy" and we'd just been absolutely out roleplayed for almost a year

□ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677063 團困 I recall a group almost ten years ago where "THAT GUY" was a relatively new player to our group and we'd agreed the game was going to be about mid-high fantasy D&D heroics So he shows up with this drunken old man lout of a fighter. Meanwhile we're all playing young kind of weeaboo anime hero types. We tolerated him and how often he'd talk about how drunk, smelly, and generally obnoxious his character was. He would use metagame knowledge to make fun of our characters in character, laughing at us when we'd get knocked out, calling us cowards when we failed our fear checks, and the DM would take pity on us and just kind of give us "let it slide" looks and let us take rerolls. We'd bitch about it between sessions and we sort of grew to hate the guy as a player, His character would go onto long diatribes about dungeons and gold and how useless we were and we'd get into hour long arguments where the DM would constantly have to remind us all to "keep it IC. Anyway this campaign goes on for at least a year, and the storyline is kind of climaxing and a DMNPC gets kidnapped, so after another argument session we get convinced by THAT GUY" to take a suicide mission and storm a castle, and he's basically yelling at us IRL we have to do it. □ Anonymous 09/01/09(Tue)07:03 No.5677068 5677063 So when we agree, he leaves the room with the DM for a few minutes, and we assume this is all some metaplot how he's going to f--- us over and steal our s---. They come back in as if nothing had happened. Session continues but we're all on guard, assuming something is up. We storm the castle or whatever, and have a lot of fun, not really noticing that this guy has stopped being so obnoxious. He hasnt once mentioned how his character reeks of whiskey or onions or whatever, though he wastes a good five minutes explaining how his character shaved his beard. Whatever, we just assume the DM talked to him about how it was annoying us. Epic battles ensue and Fast forward to face off with the BBEG, some Lich thing, and the fight isnt going so well We're getting spanked, our Cleric is down, and Mr. Fighter has a haste and out of nowhere he goes, "I rush to Cedric (the Cleric) and slap him 'GET UP YOU COWARD" At this point I groan but the DM is like "Cedric, you're back up with XX HP." Then Mr. "Fighter" goes, "I turn to the Lich and I smite him." And suddenly it clicked for all of us. F----- had been playing a Paladin the entire time. His insults were his lay-on-hands and calling us out as cowards were his Anti-fear aura. He wasn't "That Guy," "we" were "that guy" and we'd just been absolutely out roleplayed for almost a year

greentext /tg/ 4chan 8chan

old men don't belong on the battlefield

https://youtu.be/Vxi7JRJrod4?t=2m11s
old men are the future

https://youtu.be/Vxi7JRJrod4?t=2m11s
old men are the future

8chan 4chan greentext /tg/ traditional games

/tg/ you don't even need other boards

「Gropey the clown lg3AQhFles 07/14/13 Sun)17:10 No.260 12165 Replies 22 60121902226 121962-260 122532-260 2275 File: 1373836215084.jpg-(77 KB, 660x880, Edit to protect the normal.jpg) GD >Be me >Standing outside of fetish club I am performing sideshow at for their blood and piercing themed show >Exit building for some air and a smoke, with money still staplegunned to my chest and foot long steel skewer through my cheeks >Club across street stereotypical ghetto club >A woman come rushing out, sobbing >seconds later, big ole "gangsta" comes out screaming "you get back here bitch" >grabs her by the hair and slaps her lts on now >Walk across street. Yell "hey dicksack" and spit blood on his face and white jacket before kicking him in the balls Guy gets his bearings back takes one look at me, and runs. >Call girl a cab. >Random dude comes up to staple a $50 to me and get photos >Such is the life of Gropey Pic related /tg/ - Traditional Games

4chan greentext youdon'tneedotherboards fetish greentext stories

he died as he lived a bear

Anonymous 09/25/11 (Sun)23:15 No. 16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs -Make bear a rogue, putevery point l can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity ROAR" *shrug

Anonymous 09/25/11 (Sun)23:15 No. 16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs -Make bear a rogue, putevery point l can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity ROAR" *shrug

bears /tg/ 4chan 8chan greentext traditional games

I don't want to see a lovecraftian wedding

Warlock 5E Anonymous 01/22/15 (hu) 07:46:08 No.52605 >>52633 [Watch Thread Ive noticed something interesting about the Warlocks in 5E, they have patrons that grant them power, and they can even have a "romantic relationship" with these patrons since they are not quite gods One example of an allowed patron is a Great Old One This means my human noble warlock can have a romantic relationship with an eldritch horror. And gods help me l can't think of a reason this would be a bad idea | Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:02:13 No.52612 2252615 >>52618 Wait why can't I seduce a god? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:08:44 No.52615 52618 52612 1. How often do you run into a god? an 2. No one said you can't But the patrons can actually be giving the Warlock power specifically because of a romantic relationship Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:10:00 No.52616 52615 52612 t'd be Why haven't I done this? pells are a packed lunch from your lover. Amazing Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:20:42 No.52625 >>52627 If you hate yourself and want to suffer you can read the Brimstone Angels series by Erin M. Evans, which explores burgeoning relationship between a warlock and a cambion. It's basically Wizards trying to hop on the Twilight money train. Badly Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:22:45 No.52627 52625 Sounds lame, but the idea of my Tiefing warlock being given a packed lunch of spells with a little love note by an arch fiend amuses me to no end What has DnD unleashed with this monstrosity? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:31:56 No.52632 File (hide): 1421937116762 jpg (18.55 KB, 237x229, 237229, 1338795849700 ipa) tg/ what the f--- are you doing? You can't marry eldritch abominations from beyond deep space, there are laws against this kind of thing wut Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:33:13 No.52633-52635 52605 (OP) Dude, that sort of thing happened in like half of Lovecraft's original stories. The relationships between the Deep Ones and the Cult of Dagon in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", the Whatelies cross-breeding with Yog-Sothoth in the "The Dunwich Horror", et cetera Anonymous 01/22/15(hu) 08:36:55 No.52635 File (hide): 14 741 (24.15 KB, 500x312, 125:78, fbz a4b9add377bd3009a69178....ipa) It's Magic. >52633 All I know is I can suck alien d--- fo r magic powers and that's f------ magnificent lain't gotta explainshit.

Warlock 5E Anonymous 01/22/15 (hu) 07:46:08 No.52605 >>52633 [Watch Thread Ive noticed something interesting about the Warlocks in 5E, they have patrons that grant them power, and they can even have a "romantic relationship" with these patrons since they are not quite gods One example of an allowed patron is a Great Old One This means my human noble warlock can have a romantic relationship with an eldritch horror. And gods help me l can't think of a reason this would be a bad idea | Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:02:13 No.52612 2252615 >>52618 Wait why can't I seduce a god? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:08:44 No.52615 52618 52612 1. How often do you run into a god? an 2. No one said you can't But the patrons can actually be giving the Warlock power specifically because of a romantic relationship Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:10:00 No.52616 52615 52612 t'd be Why haven't I done this? pells are a packed lunch from your lover. Amazing Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:20:42 No.52625 >>52627 If you hate yourself and want to suffer you can read the Brimstone Angels series by Erin M. Evans, which explores burgeoning relationship between a warlock and a cambion. It's basically Wizards trying to hop on the Twilight money train. Badly Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:22:45 No.52627 52625 Sounds lame, but the idea of my Tiefing warlock being given a packed lunch of spells with a little love note by an arch fiend amuses me to no end What has DnD unleashed with this monstrosity? □ Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:31:56 No.52632 File (hide): 1421937116762 jpg (18.55 KB, 237x229, 237229, 1338795849700 ipa) tg/ what the f--- are you doing? You can't marry eldritch abominations from beyond deep space, there are laws against this kind of thing wut Anonymous 01/22/15 (Thu) 08:33:13 No.52633-52635 52605 (OP) Dude, that sort of thing happened in like half of Lovecraft's original stories. The relationships between the Deep Ones and the Cult of Dagon in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", the Whatelies cross-breeding with Yog-Sothoth in the "The Dunwich Horror", et cetera Anonymous 01/22/15(hu) 08:36:55 No.52635 File (hide): 14 741 (24.15 KB, 500x312, 125:78, fbz a4b9add377bd3009a69178....ipa) It's Magic. >52633 All I know is I can suck alien d--- fo r magic powers and that's f------ magnificent lain't gotta explainshit.

/tg/ greentext 8chan 4chan lovecraft traditional games

Dice rolling is serious business

□ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:24 No. 181152290 >dm lets people re-roll endlessly until they get all 18's me: Why not just give them all 18s and save the time wasted on rolling? >DM: BECAUSE I LIKE THE F------ SOUND OF DICE ROLLING YOU F------ C--- >he storms into his bedroom, GF follows. twenty minutes later, the DMs GF tells me I have to go now because I have upset him as I walk out and close the door I hear the DM say, "alright so have you guys all rolled 18's yet? if not, lets keep rolling" his voice sounds like he has been crying what the f--- hapened □ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:25 No.181152520 >18115229 Dice rolling is his fetish.

□ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:24 No. 181152290 >dm lets people re-roll endlessly until they get all 18's me: Why not just give them all 18s and save the time wasted on rolling? >DM: BECAUSE I LIKE THE F------ SOUND OF DICE ROLLING YOU F------ C--- >he storms into his bedroom, GF follows. twenty minutes later, the DMs GF tells me I have to go now because I have upset him as I walk out and close the door I hear the DM say, "alright so have you guys all rolled 18's yet? if not, lets keep rolling" his voice sounds like he has been crying what the f--- hapened □ Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)23:25 No.181152520 >18115229 Dice rolling is his fetish.

autism /tg/ 4chan dice rolling full retard