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The Omegle Crusades: Brogan the Barbarian

yomegle Crusade! The omegle Talk to strangers! You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle! You and the stranger both like Roleplaying. Stranger: Mandy, 18, America. I have short messy pastel pink hair. I'm 4'11, and have a c cup boobs. My eyes are dark blue, with silver flecks in them. My lips are full. I'm light skinned, and blush easily. I'm a shy artsy musical girl. Il'm wearing black skinny jeans, a grey tank top with a butterfly on it, a black leather jacket, and black combat boots. I'm your best-friend and that's all we've ever been, I have a crush on you and, On this particular night I couldn't sleep as I toss around in my bed so I decide to go to your house. It's lightly raining on the Friday night and I'm walking up the streets towards your house, It's quiet out and I arrive at your door- step. I knock softly onto your doorstep and wait for you to walk downstairs in your messy hair and start yelling at me cause I woke you up, and wait for you to come answer. (Include your age, name, and a description of yourself, please) You: reading Stranger: WellI...? You:I arrive at the door shirtless, towering over most men with a rough, muscular build, a practical adonis. My flowing blonde hair framed cold blue eyes, growing down to the shoulder. "What brings you to my home at this hour?" I ask. Stranger: "Couldn't sleep, big bad wolf. Nightmares." I shrug my blue eyes shining even though it's night. You: "A wolf?" I ask, rubbing my chin. "Intriguing; tell me more" Stranger: "Yep, you're a big bad wolf. Now let me in." I look up at you smiling, my dimples showing. "It's raining." You: "Come inside, tell me more of these nightmares" I invited her inside. You:I took a seat at the kitchen table, pouring hot coffee into large mugs. Stranger: I crawl into your lap easily my small size curling up against you. "I don't know, just being alone, very alone." I say quietly, biting my lower lip. You: "Alone in the dark..." I commented. Stranger: I nod silently, still biting my lip. You: "That's no dream." I said, standing up. Stranger: "What?" I say confused. You: "FEAR NOT, FRIEND." I shout as orcs begin to break down the doors. I drew the greatsword from my back. "FOR TODAY BROGAN STANDS AT YOUR SIDE." Stranger: I duck and stay close to you, "I.. I'm confused." You: "THERE IS NO CONFUSION HERE; ONLY COMBAT" I say, swinging my blade in a wide arc, sending an orc's skull flying from its body. "DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD, NAIVE." Your conversational partner has disconnected. omegle Talk to strangers! You're chatting with a random stranger on Omeglel You and the stranger both like Role Playing. Stranger: We have been best-friends for a really long time. We love each other, not only as friends, but as more. We used to play together in the field and I was there for you when your father passed, and you did the same for me when my mother went through cancer. We hang out a lot and call each other names like sweets, honey, sweetheart, just because we can and we are that close. As we got older you got more attractive and girls cling to you, but you never go out with any of them, because your heart is with me. Then comes Brian. Me and Brian have been dating for a while but we have been fighting because he thinks we are 'too close' so one day when we were 'best-friend cuddling' on the couch he knocks on the door (Lacey or Lace. 17 long light brown hair, bright blue eyes. Perfect white teeth and a loving smile. Tell me if you're reading!<3) You: reading You: Goes by the nickname "B". Shoulder length blonde hair, blue eyes. Very tall, very well built, like a bodybuilder. You: Should I start? Stranger: (Sure <3) You: "Hm. Who's that?" I ask, standing up from the couch. "I'd better go answer the door." Stranger: "Okay..." I smile You:I open the door. "Hello", I greet Brian as he stands there. Stranger: "Brian?" | ask, smiling You: "Yes, he is." I call back. Stranger:I come and stand be hind you "Hey, Brian!" Stranger: (brb) You: "Wait" I say, and finally examine Brian more closely. It finally hit me. His skin was green. His teeth were long and jagged. He carried a rusty battleaxe. Brian was an orc. I let out a battlecry that could rend mountains and ripped off my clothes, revealing my fur loincloth. "STAND BACK, FRIEND, THERE ARE ORCS AFOOT." I said, as they began to stream through the window. With a mighty swing of my sword, I rent the Orc known as Brian in half. "FORTUNATELY, BARBARIANS DON'T FIGHT HALF-ASS." Your conversational partner has disconnected. omegle Talk to strangers! You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle! You and the stranger both like roleplay. Stranger: (Tell me if your reading this Mckayla 17, long blonde wavy hair, athletic, blue eyes, d-t---, big ass, and im 5'4.) You are very popular and on the football team. I'm popular too, but not with your friends. We aren't together, but you really love me. You are afraid to ask me out because you bullied me a lot. You're friends all hate me except for your friend Kyle and you ignore me when they're around. You've always been very protective over me. Every fall you have a bonfire and invite all your friends, including me. I normally sit by myself, being ignored by everyone, but this year is different. Your friend Ryan and I are both sitting around the fire, curled up together, while you're on the opposite side, surrounded by cheerleaders. You've had your eyes on us the whole time, staring protectively, but I haven't noticed. It really gets to you when I look up at him and he leans down to kiss me... (give a description of yourself then continue, I don't care if then it can be.you have bad grammar)MALES ONLY!! You: reading Stranger: Okay:) You: Goes by the nickname B. Long, shoulder length blonde hair, piercing blue eyes. Very tall, very heavily built, like a professional bodybuilder. You:I sat there, lounging amongst a practical chair of women. Stranger: *ryan kissese and I kiss him back and he puts his arms around me waist pulling me closer* You: "What's that?" | ask, raising my head. Stranger: *i move his hands andoutcone arm around me* nothing... Nothing to sorry about.. You:I stand, rising to my fulI height. The women next to me start to get confused. "No, there's definitely something." Stranger: It's fine. Just relax.. He just kisses me... *i get up and I walk over to you grabbing your wrist* it's okay... He just kisses me.. *i say softly teting to make you calm* Stranger: Trying* You: "No, it's not that." I say. "...Orcs." I rip off my clothes, revealing my signature loincloth and boots, and draw my greatsword, pointing it at the coming swarm. "KYYYAAAAA!- BROGAN, YOU'RE SO COOL" the literal pile of cheerleaders yell as they swoon by my ankles. "Brogan knows this." I replied, and threw my blade, decapitating an Orc. "YOU'VE GOT A GOOD HEAD OFF YOUR SHOULDERS." I yelled. Stranger: What the f---? Your conversational partner has disconnected. omegle Talk to strangers! You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle! You and the stranger both like Roleplaying. Stranger: Hey guys. 18 F US here. Vanessa, short, long black hair, blue eyes, curvy figure, tight ass and D cup t---. I'm bisexual and I love slave/master roleplays. I love being dominated and l'll do anything you want. Leave your asl if interested. You: reading You: :et You: Let's see You: Nickname B, blue eyes, hair down to shoulder. Very tall, very heavily built. You:I am interested. Stranger: Okay, cool (: Wanna start? You: Yes. You: Should you start? Stranger: Doesn't matter. Whichever you prefer. You:I would prefer that you start. Stranger: Okay, that's fine. You: cool Stranger:I am in your bed, wearing sexy lingerie. I'm wearing a gag and my hands are tied to the bedpost. There's a note near my feet that reads: Enjoy. You: "Enjoy..." I rub my chin, intrigued. I understand that this can only mean one thing. Stranger:I stare at you, my head tilted to the side as my blue eyes bore into yours. You:I lean over the side of the bed, staring intently as my hands reach down towards my pants belt. You: "Prepare yourself" I say. Stranger:I slowly nod, watching your every move carefully, my eyes on your crotch. You: "Prepare yourself," I continue" for the orcs come." As they burst through the door, I ripped off my clothing, revealing my loincloth. "BUT BROGAN SHALL DEFEND YOU TODAY, MAIDEN" Grabbing a whip from the bed, I began to fend them off. "THIS OUGHT TO WHIP THEM INTO SHAPE." Your conversational partner has disconnected.

yomegle Crusade! The omegle Talk to strangers! You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle! You and the stranger both like Roleplaying. Stranger: Mandy, 18, America. I have short messy pastel pink hair. I'm 4'11, and have a c cup boobs. My eyes are dark blue, with silver flecks in them. My lips are full. I'm light skinned, and blush easily. I'm a shy artsy musical girl. Il'm wearing black skinny jeans, a grey tank top with a butterfly on it, a black leather jacket, and black combat boots. I'm your best-friend and that's all we've ever been, I have a crush on you and, On this particular night I couldn't sleep as I toss around in my bed so I decide to go to your house. It's lightly raining on the Friday night and I'm walking up the streets towards your house, It's quiet out and I arrive at your door- step. I knock softly onto your doorstep and wait for you to walk downstairs in your messy hair and start yelling at me cause I woke you up, and wait for you to come answer. (Include your age, name, and a description of yourself, please) You: reading Stranger: WellI...? You:I arrive at the door shirtless, towering over most men with a rough, muscular build, a practical adonis. My flowing blonde hair framed cold blue eyes, growing down to the shoulder. "What brings you to my home at this hour?" I ask. Stranger: "Couldn't sleep, big bad wolf. Nightmares." I shrug my blue eyes shining even though it's night. You: "A wolf?" I ask, rubbing my chin. "Intriguing; tell me more" Stranger: "Yep, you're a big bad wolf. Now let me in." I look up at you smiling, my dimples showing. "It's raining." You: "Come inside, tell me more of these nightmares" I invited her inside. You:I took a seat at the kitchen table, pouring hot coffee into large mugs. Stranger: I crawl into your lap easily my small size curling up against you. "I don't know, just being alone, very alone." I say quietly, biting my lower lip. You: "Alone in the dark..." I commented. Stranger: I nod silently, still biting my lip. You: "That's no dream." I said, standing up. Stranger: "What?" I say confused. You: "FEAR NOT, FRIEND." I shout as orcs begin to break down the doors. I drew the greatsword from my back. "FOR TODAY BROGAN STANDS AT YOUR SIDE." Stranger: I duck and stay close to you, "I.. I'm confused." You: "THERE IS NO CONFUSION HERE; ONLY COMBAT" I say, swinging my blade in a wide arc, sending an orc's skull flying from its body. "DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD, NAIVE." Your conversational partner has disconnected. omegle Talk to strangers! You're chatting with a random stranger on Omeglel You and the stranger both like Role Playing. Stranger: We have been best-friends for a really long time. We love each other, not only as friends, but as more. We used to play together in the field and I was there for you when your father passed, and you did the same for me when my mother went through cancer. We hang out a lot and call each other names like sweets, honey, sweetheart, just because we can and we are that close. As we got older you got more attractive and girls cling to you, but you never go out with any of them, because your heart is with me. Then comes Brian. Me and Brian have been dating for a while but we have been fighting because he thinks we are 'too close' so one day when we were 'best-friend cuddling' on the couch he knocks on the door (Lacey or Lace. 17 long light brown hair, bright blue eyes. Perfect white teeth and a loving smile. Tell me if you're reading!<3) You: reading You: Goes by the nickname "B". Shoulder length blonde hair, blue eyes. Very tall, very well built, like a bodybuilder. You: Should I start? Stranger: (Sure <3) You: "Hm. Who's that?" I ask, standing up from the couch. "I'd better go answer the door." Stranger: "Okay..." I smile You:I open the door. "Hello", I greet Brian as he stands there. Stranger: "Brian?" | ask, smiling You: "Yes, he is." I call back. Stranger:I come and stand be hind you "Hey, Brian!" Stranger: (brb) You: "Wait" I say, and finally examine Brian more closely. It finally hit me. His skin was green. His teeth were long and jagged. He carried a rusty battleaxe. Brian was an orc. I let out a battlecry that could rend mountains and ripped off my clothes, revealing my fur loincloth. "STAND BACK, FRIEND, THERE ARE ORCS AFOOT." I said, as they began to stream through the window. With a mighty swing of my sword, I rent the Orc known as Brian in half. "FORTUNATELY, BARBARIANS DON'T FIGHT HALF-ASS." Your conversational partner has disconnected. omegle Talk to strangers! You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle! You and the stranger both like roleplay. Stranger: (Tell me if your reading this Mckayla 17, long blonde wavy hair, athletic, blue eyes, d-t---, big ass, and im 5'4.) You are very popular and on the football team. I'm popular too, but not with your friends. We aren't together, but you really love me. You are afraid to ask me out because you bullied me a lot. You're friends all hate me except for your friend Kyle and you ignore me when they're around. You've always been very protective over me. Every fall you have a bonfire and invite all your friends, including me. I normally sit by myself, being ignored by everyone, but this year is different. Your friend Ryan and I are both sitting around the fire, curled up together, while you're on the opposite side, surrounded by cheerleaders. You've had your eyes on us the whole time, staring protectively, but I haven't noticed. It really gets to you when I look up at him and he leans down to kiss me... (give a description of yourself then continue, I don't care if then it can be.you have bad grammar)MALES ONLY!! You: reading Stranger: Okay:) You: Goes by the nickname B. Long, shoulder length blonde hair, piercing blue eyes. Very tall, very heavily built, like a professional bodybuilder. You:I sat there, lounging amongst a practical chair of women. Stranger: *ryan kissese and I kiss him back and he puts his arms around me waist pulling me closer* You: "What's that?" | ask, raising my head. Stranger: *i move his hands andoutcone arm around me* nothing... Nothing to sorry about.. You:I stand, rising to my fulI height. The women next to me start to get confused. "No, there's definitely something." Stranger: It's fine. Just relax.. He just kisses me... *i get up and I walk over to you grabbing your wrist* it's okay... He just kisses me.. *i say softly teting to make you calm* Stranger: Trying* You: "No, it's not that." I say. "...Orcs." I rip off my clothes, revealing my signature loincloth and boots, and draw my greatsword, pointing it at the coming swarm. "KYYYAAAAA!- BROGAN, YOU'RE SO COOL" the literal pile of cheerleaders yell as they swoon by my ankles. "Brogan knows this." I replied, and threw my blade, decapitating an Orc. "YOU'VE GOT A GOOD HEAD OFF YOUR SHOULDERS." I yelled. Stranger: What the f---? Your conversational partner has disconnected. omegle Talk to strangers! You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle! You and the stranger both like Roleplaying. Stranger: Hey guys. 18 F US here. Vanessa, short, long black hair, blue eyes, curvy figure, tight ass and D cup t---. I'm bisexual and I love slave/master roleplays. I love being dominated and l'll do anything you want. Leave your asl if interested. You: reading You: :et You: Let's see You: Nickname B, blue eyes, hair down to shoulder. Very tall, very heavily built. You:I am interested. Stranger: Okay, cool (: Wanna start? You: Yes. You: Should you start? Stranger: Doesn't matter. Whichever you prefer. You:I would prefer that you start. Stranger: Okay, that's fine. You: cool Stranger:I am in your bed, wearing sexy lingerie. I'm wearing a gag and my hands are tied to the bedpost. There's a note near my feet that reads: Enjoy. You: "Enjoy..." I rub my chin, intrigued. I understand that this can only mean one thing. Stranger:I stare at you, my head tilted to the side as my blue eyes bore into yours. You:I lean over the side of the bed, staring intently as my hands reach down towards my pants belt. You: "Prepare yourself" I say. Stranger:I slowly nod, watching your every move carefully, my eyes on your crotch. You: "Prepare yourself," I continue" for the orcs come." As they burst through the door, I ripped off my clothing, revealing my loincloth. "BUT BROGAN SHALL DEFEND YOU TODAY, MAIDEN" Grabbing a whip from the bed, I began to fend them off. "THIS OUGHT TO WHIP THEM INTO SHAPE." Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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What if the Drow all spoke like Rolf?

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And not one single fuck was given that day.

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/tg/ discusses 6E

File: Makebelieve.png (13 KB, 314x124) O D&D 6th edition Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:07:50 No.77102889 ► >>77102903 >>77102904 >>77103184 >>77103377 >>77103497 >>77103624 RACES So what do you guys think is coming down the pike for WotC? What's the next step of their master plan? In the following section, you'll find a brief description of the Slimeling, a humanoid 0oze player race. O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:08:45 No.77102899 ► Garbage. > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:09:04 No.77102903 >>77103366 >>77102889 (OP) >D&D 6th edition. That's a thing now? > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:09:06 No.77102904 ► >>77102889 (OP) Orcs are racist now, aren't they? They're finally realizing the elves of Mirkwood were bigot racists to the dwarves. "It's time we talked about Thrnaduil" >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:14:35 No.77102971 >>77103097 >>77103543 Gender introduced as a new 'splat' alongside class and race, with ten different genders in the core books and more added with each new supplement. * O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:17:07 No.77103004 I heard somewhere that some players are now lobbying for consent from them, for a DM to be able to kill of their freakshit self inserts. O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:23:08 No.77103097 >>77103145 >>77103244 >>77103472 >>77102971 What are the mechanical benefits of picking one gender over the other? > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:25:59 No.77103145 ► >>77103097 affirmative action >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:29:35 No.77103184 ► >>77102889 (OP) A playable ooze made of c-- especially designed for coomers. >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:29:47 No.77103185 Roll a 1d100 to define your character's gender. * O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:34:43 No.77103244 >>77103097 It is going to fill the same roll as alignment used to fill >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:42:44 No.77103366 >>77103459 >>77102903 | suspect we will see 6E released to coincide with the new D&D movie in Spring of 2022. O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:43:50 No.77103377 ► >>77102889 (OP) The tasha's race rules will be the default ruleset. Battlemaster will still be a thing, for some reason, instead of just making "maneuvers" into mechanics features of weaponry. Every class will have magic or some variant thereof. They'll remove the "Bonus Action" from the action economy, to even further "streamline" combat. They'll remove the bit about somatic/verbal/material components, since everyone seems to ignore those as requisites of casting magic. The Monster Manual will now be remade so any monster is a PC-playable race and the lore will be rewritten to clarify that most monsters are peaceful and PCs are just evil animal killers. Alignment will, infuriatingly enough, still exist, despite it having clearly no impact on any other aspect of the game. You don't have to believe me; like Nostradamus l'll be right no matter how much I wish I weren't. > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:49:32 No.77103459 ► >>77103366 Nah they'll only sell like an overpriced adventure module based on the movie. They wouldn't deprive themselves of the potential new sales of their already big library of books and physical goods. Ya gotta lure in the new folks first THEN hit them with the edition change. >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:50:30 No.77103472 ► >>77103097 -4 strength > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:52:52 No.77103497 ► >>77102889 (OP) Debuffing male characters because of "equality." >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:56:37 No.77103543 >>77103766 File: 7274AAAO-7DC0-4150-A54C-5...).jpg (90 KB, 680x680) >>77102971 >Bro, did you see Demibois and Agenders are going to be in the Gooblepoop's Codex of Éverything?! >+2 to Stat"! So OP! *6e is more simple than 5e and has only one stat O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)10:01:25 No.77103624 ► >>77102889 (OP) As long as the DM's Guild keeps making them a boatload of money without WotC having to lift a finger, they won't release 6e. >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)10:09:59 No.77103766 ► >>77103543 I can imagine it now... >Your character is horribly underpowered unless you play as a black genderfluid lesbian trans Muslim orc >Levels don't mean anything because making some characters stronger than others is "discrimination" >Every country is communist Returnl (Catalogl (Tonl Undate OAutol

File: Makebelieve.png (13 KB, 314x124) O D&D 6th edition Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:07:50 No.77102889 ► >>77102903 >>77102904 >>77103184 >>77103377 >>77103497 >>77103624 RACES So what do you guys think is coming down the pike for WotC? What's the next step of their master plan? In the following section, you'll find a brief description of the Slimeling, a humanoid 0oze player race. O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:08:45 No.77102899 ► Garbage. > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:09:04 No.77102903 >>77103366 >>77102889 (OP) >D&D 6th edition. That's a thing now? > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:09:06 No.77102904 ► >>77102889 (OP) Orcs are racist now, aren't they? They're finally realizing the elves of Mirkwood were bigot racists to the dwarves. "It's time we talked about Thrnaduil" >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:14:35 No.77102971 >>77103097 >>77103543 Gender introduced as a new 'splat' alongside class and race, with ten different genders in the core books and more added with each new supplement. * O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:17:07 No.77103004 I heard somewhere that some players are now lobbying for consent from them, for a DM to be able to kill of their freakshit self inserts. O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:23:08 No.77103097 >>77103145 >>77103244 >>77103472 >>77102971 What are the mechanical benefits of picking one gender over the other? > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:25:59 No.77103145 ► >>77103097 affirmative action >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:29:35 No.77103184 ► >>77102889 (OP) A playable ooze made of c-- especially designed for coomers. >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:29:47 No.77103185 Roll a 1d100 to define your character's gender. * O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:34:43 No.77103244 >>77103097 It is going to fill the same roll as alignment used to fill >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:42:44 No.77103366 >>77103459 >>77102903 | suspect we will see 6E released to coincide with the new D&D movie in Spring of 2022. O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:43:50 No.77103377 ► >>77102889 (OP) The tasha's race rules will be the default ruleset. Battlemaster will still be a thing, for some reason, instead of just making "maneuvers" into mechanics features of weaponry. Every class will have magic or some variant thereof. They'll remove the "Bonus Action" from the action economy, to even further "streamline" combat. They'll remove the bit about somatic/verbal/material components, since everyone seems to ignore those as requisites of casting magic. The Monster Manual will now be remade so any monster is a PC-playable race and the lore will be rewritten to clarify that most monsters are peaceful and PCs are just evil animal killers. Alignment will, infuriatingly enough, still exist, despite it having clearly no impact on any other aspect of the game. You don't have to believe me; like Nostradamus l'll be right no matter how much I wish I weren't. > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:49:32 No.77103459 ► >>77103366 Nah they'll only sell like an overpriced adventure module based on the movie. They wouldn't deprive themselves of the potential new sales of their already big library of books and physical goods. Ya gotta lure in the new folks first THEN hit them with the edition change. >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:50:30 No.77103472 ► >>77103097 -4 strength > O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:52:52 No.77103497 ► >>77102889 (OP) Debuffing male characters because of "equality." >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)09:56:37 No.77103543 >>77103766 File: 7274AAAO-7DC0-4150-A54C-5...).jpg (90 KB, 680x680) >>77102971 >Bro, did you see Demibois and Agenders are going to be in the Gooblepoop's Codex of Éverything?! >+2 to Stat"! So OP! *6e is more simple than 5e and has only one stat O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)10:01:25 No.77103624 ► >>77102889 (OP) As long as the DM's Guild keeps making them a boatload of money without WotC having to lift a finger, they won't release 6e. >> O Anonymous 01/22/21(Fri)10:09:59 No.77103766 ► >>77103543 I can imagine it now... >Your character is horribly underpowered unless you play as a black genderfluid lesbian trans Muslim orc >Levels don't mean anything because making some characters stronger than others is "discrimination" >Every country is communist Returnl (Catalogl (Tonl Undate OAutol

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Crazy Hassan's Used Camel Emporium

TRAZY HA SSAN'S USED CAME Ls

TRAZY HA SSAN'S USED CAME Ls

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Xeno

ck.

ck.

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Boris the Titan

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Oi Iz Da Noight

OI IZ DA NO IGHT NOT er DERLN E

OI IZ DA NO IGHT NOT er DERLN E

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Blue mini

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Mr Squig

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Blue and Zizzbitz

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Praise the Omnissiah

Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/06/11(Sun)19:32 No.14152958 File1299457955.jpg-(15 KB, 401x311, 1242208804696.jpg) >>Middle of OH MY F--- season for postgraduate law, 250% of assignments due >>Have been typing like the Fist of the North Star for three weeks >>Three days since last I slept voluntarily >>Everything due tomorrow >>Massive storm outside complements mood perfectly >>7000 of 8000 words done one final assignment, all the rest will basically write itself >>Sit back and relax, exhale >>LIGHTNING BOLT >>WINDOW SHAKING >>Computer makes that 'gwoo' shotdown noise and blacks out >>Distinct smell of burning electricals >>Very slowly reach for power button; fails to work >>Reset every circuit in the house twice, get power back online to exactly one plug >>Find powerboards, move entire rig to working hallway plug >>Still won't work >>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFF >>Take apart EVERYTHING >>Plug everything into everything else >>Everything is fine except the power supply >>The power supply is completely fried and slightly molten >>Review options; all none of them >>Panic worse >>Scream out of a window >>Desperate times call for fanatical measures >>Acquire book of hymns in Latin >>Lay computer flat on table in hallway, draw runic circle around it with blue chalk >>Etch sigil of the Ommissiah, begin chanting hymns >>Continue hymns while plugging everything back in and putting it all in place >>Ring tiny bell three times, chant 'Awaken, great one', press power button >>WHAT THE F--- >>ITS WORKING NOW >>Computer is still working to this day

Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/06/11(Sun)19:32 No.14152958 File1299457955.jpg-(15 KB, 401x311, 1242208804696.jpg) >>Middle of OH MY F--- season for postgraduate law, 250% of assignments due >>Have been typing like the Fist of the North Star for three weeks >>Three days since last I slept voluntarily >>Everything due tomorrow >>Massive storm outside complements mood perfectly >>7000 of 8000 words done one final assignment, all the rest will basically write itself >>Sit back and relax, exhale >>LIGHTNING BOLT >>WINDOW SHAKING >>Computer makes that 'gwoo' shotdown noise and blacks out >>Distinct smell of burning electricals >>Very slowly reach for power button; fails to work >>Reset every circuit in the house twice, get power back online to exactly one plug >>Find powerboards, move entire rig to working hallway plug >>Still won't work >>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFF >>Take apart EVERYTHING >>Plug everything into everything else >>Everything is fine except the power supply >>The power supply is completely fried and slightly molten >>Review options; all none of them >>Panic worse >>Scream out of a window >>Desperate times call for fanatical measures >>Acquire book of hymns in Latin >>Lay computer flat on table in hallway, draw runic circle around it with blue chalk >>Etch sigil of the Ommissiah, begin chanting hymns >>Continue hymns while plugging everything back in and putting it all in place >>Ring tiny bell three times, chant 'Awaken, great one', press power button >>WHAT THE F--- >>ITS WORKING NOW >>Computer is still working to this day

green text irl computer omnissiah ritual occultism adeptus mechanicus 4chan computer repair tech priest

Well...that was certainly distracting.

O Anonymous 09/22/11(Thu)21:41 No.16391478 File1316742104.png-(62 KB, 219x221, kirbyomg.png) OH MY GOSH >Party in a city-based 4e D&D game are sneaking into a steampunk newspaper company to replace a (true) story that might cast their party in a negative light >They are a cockney child rogue, a human pitfighter, and a gnome artificer who totes around a magical tome of his family's history that is also an encyclopedia, that also acts as a focus for all his (refluffed) spells >Thief on sneaking, story swapping detail >Gnome on distraction, pitfighter on mop-up >Gnome enters through the front door, LOUDLY >Starts LOUDLY talking to receptionist about how he wants his family history printed in the paper >Slams tome down on desk >"The GREAT HISTORY of the vonSpielhelm family shall not be unabridgedl" >1, the DM, ask him to roll bluff. He INSISTS that this is a diplomacy roll. I yield to logic. >He does fairly well. >The secretary decides, to humor him, she'll flip through the book >The book which acts as a focus for his offensive spells >Dice are rolled. >She opens up the book to "C" for "Cannon" >Half a second later, the receptionist is sans-head, all the writers, clerics, and pencil-pushers are running screaming out of the building, and the gnome is the best distraction ever >hfw

O Anonymous 09/22/11(Thu)21:41 No.16391478 File1316742104.png-(62 KB, 219x221, kirbyomg.png) OH MY GOSH >Party in a city-based 4e D&D game are sneaking into a steampunk newspaper company to replace a (true) story that might cast their party in a negative light >They are a cockney child rogue, a human pitfighter, and a gnome artificer who totes around a magical tome of his family's history that is also an encyclopedia, that also acts as a focus for all his (refluffed) spells >Thief on sneaking, story swapping detail >Gnome on distraction, pitfighter on mop-up >Gnome enters through the front door, LOUDLY >Starts LOUDLY talking to receptionist about how he wants his family history printed in the paper >Slams tome down on desk >"The GREAT HISTORY of the vonSpielhelm family shall not be unabridgedl" >1, the DM, ask him to roll bluff. He INSISTS that this is a diplomacy roll. I yield to logic. >He does fairly well. >The secretary decides, to humor him, she'll flip through the book >The book which acts as a focus for his offensive spells >Dice are rolled. >She opens up the book to "C" for "Cannon" >Half a second later, the receptionist is sans-head, all the writers, clerics, and pencil-pushers are running screaming out of the building, and the gnome is the best distraction ever >hfw

d&d dungeons and dragons green text gnome newspaper printers concealed carry cannon tome magic book 4chan

Get Dat Fooken Mammoth

I find it hilarious that the main reason we started to dominate the planet is by being stubborn. "Aw, the mammoth got away." "Like f------ hell it did. WE are going to follow it and kill it." "What if it goes really far" "WE ARE GOING TO FOLLOW IT AND KILL IT."

I find it hilarious that the main reason we started to dominate the planet is by being stubborn. "Aw, the mammoth got away." "Like f------ hell it did. WE are going to follow it and kill it." "What if it goes really far" "WE ARE GOING TO FOLLOW IT AND KILL IT."

4chan mammoth humanity dominance ancient man

Drowunder

O Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)21:19:29 No.76480503 >>76485698 File: drowunder.jpg (163 KB, 1280x825) CRIKGY YA FockiN Lost OR SUMMIN MAE? >>76479443 (OP) >Australians and Drow >They both live down under. >They both have highly poisonous spiders. >Their roots come from being pushed away by society.

O Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)21:19:29 No.76480503 >>76485698 File: drowunder.jpg (163 KB, 1280x825) CRIKGY YA FockiN Lost OR SUMMIN MAE? >>76479443 (OP) >Australians and Drow >They both live down under. >They both have highly poisonous spiders. >Their roots come from being pushed away by society.

australia australian drow dark elf dark elves giant poisonous spiders greentext

HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET IN!

Get in the f------ bag!?

Get in the f------ bag!?

4chan the bag inside joke get in the bag death grim reaper trash bag garbage bag

Bioweapon Monsters

O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:19:34 No.75294889 > >>75294995 >>75320648 >>75294821 (OP) Why would you even give your giant monster sexual characteristics? If it's the only one, it's not going to reproduce, the d---'s just wasted energy. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:26:10 No.75294995 >75295041 >>75302030 >>75294889 Why would they not reproduce? Why would I not want more? The US didn't stop making nukes after the war, just like how I won't stop making bioweapons after taking over the world. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:29:03 No.75295041 >75295101 >>75295175 >>75294995 Yes, but you can make them the way you made the first one: Controlled, in a tube, with the latest upgrades. Uncontrolled reproduction is how you end up with a few hundred wild bioweapons. Furthermore, ones busy reproducing aren't doing their job of destroying all who oppose you. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:32:34 No.75295101 >75295173 >>75301621 YOU CAN REWRITE DNA ON THE FLY, AND YOU'RE USING >>75295041 TO TURN PEOPLE DINOSAURS? BUT WITH TECH LIKE THAT, Allowing them the ability to reproduce whilst programming them to perceive me as their parent/original progenitor is the ultimate means to have an unstoppable army of the most loyal followers imaginable AT. YOU COULD CURE CANCER! O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:36:25 No.75295173 >>75295218 >>75295263 >>75295835 >>75317015 >>75295101 Then suddenly you die because of a freak accident and your army of breeding bioweapons proceed to sweep over the world and annihilate all life in your name, all because you were dumb enough to create a self-propagating bioweapon. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:36:27 No.75295175 >>75295378 >>75295041 >implying my bioweapons aren't controlled via pheromones >implying I don't want there to be shitloads of bioweapons out in the wild so the world is forced to rely on me to control them >implying I care about any potential collateral damage BUT I DON'T WANT TO CURE CANCER. I WANT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:46:55 No.75295378 >>75295436 >>75295175 >dies as collateral damage for a shitload of rampaging bio weapons when the heroes disable the pheromone controller. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:38:32 No.75295218 ► >>75295173 I'm a mad scientist. Why would I care what happens to the world after I'm dead? S---, my bioweapons destroying the world after I die is great, that means l've denied some other schmuck his chance to take over the world, which is hilarious. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:50:11 No.75295436 >>75295935 >>75310914 >>75295378 Well then the heroes can just go ahead and cry over the spilt milk that is the impending destruction of civilization while I smugly decompose in their general direction. Anonymous 10/08/20(Thu)11:44:58 No.75310914 >>75295436 This man understands how to villian correctly.

O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:19:34 No.75294889 > >>75294995 >>75320648 >>75294821 (OP) Why would you even give your giant monster sexual characteristics? If it's the only one, it's not going to reproduce, the d---'s just wasted energy. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:26:10 No.75294995 >75295041 >>75302030 >>75294889 Why would they not reproduce? Why would I not want more? The US didn't stop making nukes after the war, just like how I won't stop making bioweapons after taking over the world. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:29:03 No.75295041 >75295101 >>75295175 >>75294995 Yes, but you can make them the way you made the first one: Controlled, in a tube, with the latest upgrades. Uncontrolled reproduction is how you end up with a few hundred wild bioweapons. Furthermore, ones busy reproducing aren't doing their job of destroying all who oppose you. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:32:34 No.75295101 >75295173 >>75301621 YOU CAN REWRITE DNA ON THE FLY, AND YOU'RE USING >>75295041 TO TURN PEOPLE DINOSAURS? BUT WITH TECH LIKE THAT, Allowing them the ability to reproduce whilst programming them to perceive me as their parent/original progenitor is the ultimate means to have an unstoppable army of the most loyal followers imaginable AT. YOU COULD CURE CANCER! O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:36:25 No.75295173 >>75295218 >>75295263 >>75295835 >>75317015 >>75295101 Then suddenly you die because of a freak accident and your army of breeding bioweapons proceed to sweep over the world and annihilate all life in your name, all because you were dumb enough to create a self-propagating bioweapon. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:36:27 No.75295175 >>75295378 >>75295041 >implying my bioweapons aren't controlled via pheromones >implying I don't want there to be shitloads of bioweapons out in the wild so the world is forced to rely on me to control them >implying I care about any potential collateral damage BUT I DON'T WANT TO CURE CANCER. I WANT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:46:55 No.75295378 >>75295436 >>75295175 >dies as collateral damage for a shitload of rampaging bio weapons when the heroes disable the pheromone controller. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:38:32 No.75295218 ► >>75295173 I'm a mad scientist. Why would I care what happens to the world after I'm dead? S---, my bioweapons destroying the world after I die is great, that means l've denied some other schmuck his chance to take over the world, which is hilarious. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:50:11 No.75295436 >>75295935 >>75310914 >>75295378 Well then the heroes can just go ahead and cry over the spilt milk that is the impending destruction of civilization while I smugly decompose in their general direction. Anonymous 10/08/20(Thu)11:44:58 No.75310914 >>75295436 This man understands how to villian correctly.

weyland-yutani umbrella corporation but i don't want to cure cancer scott westerfeld's leviathan trilogy jem'hadar how to villain correctly supervillain

Anon learns to fear The Clown

>>O Glutton 10/11/10(Mon)10:11 No.12406881 I'm usually a chemist, and me and my brother like to play one the same server at the same time. His friend from England was also there, Me and my bro were Chemists, he was an assistant we let in because why the f--- not? >Start mixing chemicals, I am very good at it. >Create thermite, can't figure out how to light it on fire so give up. >My brother starts cranking out space drugs naming the pills "Strength Pill", go and leave them around the station >l make space drugs, because why the hell not? >Take one, start tripping balls. Take a unstable mutagen pill as well. >Become blind, Have seizures, develop Tourettes. pecome >Station wonders why I keep screaming "PISS" "T---" "M-----------" into the radio. >Traitor comes out out nowhere, shoots me in the back of the head. >Cloned, Mutations still exist. oloned >Cures developed myself, hard to do because I keep shouting random s--- and flailing my arms around. >Get bored and start injected random people with it. Make the clown blind and deaf. >He hunts me like a ghost, shooting syringes at me. he >Get hit by one, It says "You feel strange" >Beat him and start to strangle him screaming "WHAT WAS IN THAT NEEDLE?" >"It was a Suuurpriise!" >Forced to run before killing him cause Security shows up. >Cont. >O Glutton 10/11/10(Mon)10:16 No.12406914 >>12406881 >Every damn piece of glass I look at, the clown is behind it. I think I even saw him in space one time. >Extremely Paranoid, singularity is loose and toxins is on fire. Shuttle called. >Started to make my way towards shuttle >HONK HONK HONK >JESUS CHRIST WHERE THE F--- IS HE? >Start to run towards the shuttle, slip on a banana peel. >Bastard comes out of nowhere, rips the VISOR goggles off my head (I Never cured my blindness, it's hard to cure the effects of unstable mutagens.) >Clicking randomly with my air tank, I hit the floor and wall as well as myself a few times. But never hit the clown. >Slowly strangled to death as he honked that f------ horn of his.

>>O Glutton 10/11/10(Mon)10:11 No.12406881 I'm usually a chemist, and me and my brother like to play one the same server at the same time. His friend from England was also there, Me and my bro were Chemists, he was an assistant we let in because why the f--- not? >Start mixing chemicals, I am very good at it. >Create thermite, can't figure out how to light it on fire so give up. >My brother starts cranking out space drugs naming the pills "Strength Pill", go and leave them around the station >l make space drugs, because why the hell not? >Take one, start tripping balls. Take a unstable mutagen pill as well. >Become blind, Have seizures, develop Tourettes. pecome >Station wonders why I keep screaming "PISS" "T---" "M-----------" into the radio. >Traitor comes out out nowhere, shoots me in the back of the head. >Cloned, Mutations still exist. oloned >Cures developed myself, hard to do because I keep shouting random s--- and flailing my arms around. >Get bored and start injected random people with it. Make the clown blind and deaf. >He hunts me like a ghost, shooting syringes at me. he >Get hit by one, It says "You feel strange" >Beat him and start to strangle him screaming "WHAT WAS IN THAT NEEDLE?" >"It was a Suuurpriise!" >Forced to run before killing him cause Security shows up. >Cont. >O Glutton 10/11/10(Mon)10:16 No.12406914 >>12406881 >Every damn piece of glass I look at, the clown is behind it. I think I even saw him in space one time. >Extremely Paranoid, singularity is loose and toxins is on fire. Shuttle called. >Started to make my way towards shuttle >HONK HONK HONK >JESUS CHRIST WHERE THE F--- IS HE? >Start to run towards the shuttle, slip on a banana peel. >Bastard comes out of nowhere, rips the VISOR goggles off my head (I Never cured my blindness, it's hard to cure the effects of unstable mutagens.) >Clicking randomly with my air tank, I hit the floor and wall as well as myself a few times. But never hit the clown. >Slowly strangled to death as he honked that f------ horn of his.

space station 13 ss13 honk clown drugs mutagen 4chan paranoia chemist geneticist

Ham Sammich finds the cure for cancer

I Anonymous 10/09/13(Wed)19:42 UTC-4 No.27664856 O Replies: >>27664972 >>27665129 >>27664677 You were? Am I remembering another clusterfuck, or was Ham Sammich involved in that one? Because, and I mean no insult to you or the rest of Sec when I say this, that m----------- was the epitome of the harassed Sec Officer that just wanted to get through the day but couldn't because there was just too much violence that he had to dish out to keep people from killing each other. He joined me as a Medical Doctor, once. I may have known the chemistry system a little better than he did, but he knew what he wanted to do to everyone. >Give him the introductory education on the Medical Wing >Leave him alone for a little while >Start the business of healing >Come back to see how Ham's doing with the guy that had the flu >Flu Guy is handcuffed, strait-jacketed, muzzled and trapped on the bed >One other quy is in the same condition >You say, "The f---?" >Ham returns with a locker >Ham Sammich says, "Uh. Hi." >You say, "Whatcha doing, Ham?" >He opens the locker and a pile of people pour out of it, all snoring from Chloral Hydrate and Sleep toxin >Ham Sammich says, "Curing cancer." >Feel a slight twinge of fear, despite the fact that I am separated by an unknown distance and a computer screen from this man >You say, "Carry on." >Run away >Come back later, the entire sick bay is full of people that have been strapped to the beds and kept in place with anesthesia tanks

I Anonymous 10/09/13(Wed)19:42 UTC-4 No.27664856 O Replies: >>27664972 >>27665129 >>27664677 You were? Am I remembering another clusterfuck, or was Ham Sammich involved in that one? Because, and I mean no insult to you or the rest of Sec when I say this, that m----------- was the epitome of the harassed Sec Officer that just wanted to get through the day but couldn't because there was just too much violence that he had to dish out to keep people from killing each other. He joined me as a Medical Doctor, once. I may have known the chemistry system a little better than he did, but he knew what he wanted to do to everyone. >Give him the introductory education on the Medical Wing >Leave him alone for a little while >Start the business of healing >Come back to see how Ham's doing with the guy that had the flu >Flu Guy is handcuffed, strait-jacketed, muzzled and trapped on the bed >One other quy is in the same condition >You say, "The f---?" >Ham returns with a locker >Ham Sammich says, "Uh. Hi." >You say, "Whatcha doing, Ham?" >He opens the locker and a pile of people pour out of it, all snoring from Chloral Hydrate and Sleep toxin >Ham Sammich says, "Curing cancer." >Feel a slight twinge of fear, despite the fact that I am separated by an unknown distance and a computer screen from this man >You say, "Carry on." >Run away >Come back later, the entire sick bay is full of people that have been strapped to the beds and kept in place with anesthesia tanks

space station 13 ss13 medical officer doctor cancer 4chan chemist security medic

Anon mops the floors

Anonymous 04/27/14(Sun)21:25:32 No.31771536 2>31771810 >first ever SS13 game >Play janitor >Run a clean ship >Mop ALL the floors >People whining that they keep slipping. >Put up a wet floor sign and tell them to get over it. >People keep bitching that they're sliding. >Mops busy corridors to spite people. Put wet floor sign up. >More bitching, people stop using corridor. >Change corridors. Clown walks by and slides into a wall, knocks self out. >Help him up. He hits me with a fire extinguisher and walks off. >l wake up and keep mopping. >Captain walks by and slides into same all. Knocks self out. >Accidentally grab captain, can't figure out how to drop him. >Somehow end up throwing captain into trash compactor. Don't loot his keycard because I don't know how. Captain dies. >Half hour later, ship is in panic mode because no one knows where the captain is >l mop the floors

Anonymous 04/27/14(Sun)21:25:32 No.31771536 2>31771810 >first ever SS13 game >Play janitor >Run a clean ship >Mop ALL the floors >People whining that they keep slipping. >Put up a wet floor sign and tell them to get over it. >People keep bitching that they're sliding. >Mops busy corridors to spite people. Put wet floor sign up. >More bitching, people stop using corridor. >Change corridors. Clown walks by and slides into a wall, knocks self out. >Help him up. He hits me with a fire extinguisher and walks off. >l wake up and keep mopping. >Captain walks by and slides into same all. Knocks self out. >Accidentally grab captain, can't figure out how to drop him. >Somehow end up throwing captain into trash compactor. Don't loot his keycard because I don't know how. Captain dies. >Half hour later, ship is in panic mode because no one knows where the captain is >l mop the floors

4chan space station 13 ss13 janitor captain trash compactor clown greentext mop