Twitter / X - Images

Sorted By:

Self care?

Matt. @MattTheBrand how to process your emotions in a healthy way (i think) - buy a new candle - take a 45 min shower - drink coffee until you throw up - overshare online - scream
Matt. @MattTheBrand how to process your emotions in a healthy way (i think) - buy a new candle - take a 45 min shower - drink coffee until you throw up - overshare online - scream

Twitter / X
funny tweet mental health coffee candles shower

fail

SpacedMom @copymama ... My 8yo said she wished there was a way to plug headphones into her recorder so she could play anytime and I will singlehandedly fund any Kickstarter for this project 5:29 PM · Mar 13, 2021 · Twitter Web App 29 Retweets 263 Likes
SpacedMom @copymama ... My 8yo said she wished there was a way to plug headphones into her recorder so she could play anytime and I will singlehandedly fund any Kickstarter for this project 5:29 PM · Mar 13, 2021 · Twitter Web App 29 Retweets 263 Likes

Twitter / X
funny parent kids kickstarter parenting

slime monster

A Bearer Of Dad Newsl ... @HomeWithPeanut He died doing what he loathed- trying to make the perfect slime for his kids 10:38 PM Mar 13, 2021 - Twitter for Android 39 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 169 Likes
A Bearer Of Dad Newsl ... @HomeWithPeanut He died doing what he loathed- trying to make the perfect slime for his kids 10:38 PM Mar 13, 2021 - Twitter for Android 39 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 169 Likes

Twitter / X
dad slime kids funny parent

IT guy

NicholasG ... @Dad_At_Law Politely asked 10 to fix a glitch on our home computer and after letting out a long exasperated sigh she fixed it in a matter of seconds so I guess this completes her official transformation into a middle-age IT guy. 12:14 AM - Mar 14, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 66 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 270 Likes
NicholasG ... @Dad_At_Law Politely asked 10 to fix a glitch on our home computer and after letting out a long exasperated sigh she fixed it in a matter of seconds so I guess this completes her official transformation into a middle-age IT guy. 12:14 AM - Mar 14, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 66 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 270 Likes

Twitter / X
funny parenting kids computers

Always walk into the woods

Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface Before you hit reply, ask yourself if it would make you happier to just walk deep into the woods and scream 9:08 PM · 2/10/20 · Twitter for iPhone
Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface Before you hit reply, ask yourself if it would make you happier to just walk deep into the woods and scream 9:08 PM · 2/10/20 · Twitter for iPhone

Twitter / X
funny tweet mental health depression depressed meme sad meme

he will be fluent in no time

Yukon Gold @GrahamKritzer ... Today I took my 4 year-old to meet the nice lady who will be teaching him French immersion and the only thing he had to say throughout the entire conversation was "in french what is the word for poop." It's gonna be great year. 2:08 AM Mar 14, 2021 · Twitter for Android 30 Retweets 119 Likes
Yukon Gold @GrahamKritzer ... Today I took my 4 year-old to meet the nice lady who will be teaching him French immersion and the only thing he had to say throughout the entire conversation was "in french what is the word for poop." It's gonna be great year. 2:08 AM Mar 14, 2021 · Twitter for Android 30 Retweets 119 Likes

Twitter / X
french poop funny kid funny parent

intelligent species

NicholasG ... @Dad_At_Law Toddlers innately know just when to give a parent a hug or say I love you. If for no other reason than to ensure their own survival. 1:05 AM - Mar 3, 2021 Twitter for iPhone 278 Retweets 24 Quote Tweets 1,204 Likes
NicholasG ... @Dad_At_Law Toddlers innately know just when to give a parent a hug or say I love you. If for no other reason than to ensure their own survival. 1:05 AM - Mar 3, 2021 Twitter for iPhone 278 Retweets 24 Quote Tweets 1,204 Likes

Twitter / X
kids hug love parents

thank you Netflix for your documentaries

bacon popsicle ... @Gupton68 My 12 year old can explain the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. I think about that a lot when l'm trying to get to sleep. 2:33 PM · Mar 13, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 222 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 724 Likes
bacon popsicle ... @Gupton68 My 12 year old can explain the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. I think about that a lot when l'm trying to get to sleep. 2:33 PM · Mar 13, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 222 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 724 Likes

Twitter / X
parenting kids teens funny tweet

mind your business

AparnaRC @Wordesse ... Cashier at pharmacy: Ma'm, I understand that you're in your 40s with "childrenitis", but I really wouldn't recommend that you buy $1400 worth of ibuprofen. 4:11 AM - Mar 14, 2021 - Twitter for Android 23 Retweets 71 Likes
AparnaRC @Wordesse ... Cashier at pharmacy: Ma'm, I understand that you're in your 40s with "childrenitis", but I really wouldn't recommend that you buy $1400 worth of ibuprofen. 4:11 AM - Mar 14, 2021 - Twitter for Android 23 Retweets 71 Likes

Twitter / X
parenting pharmacy pills funny fail

buy a caseload

Laura Marie ... @lmegordon Here's a math question: My daughters are fighting over a stupid babydollI. If I buy another, identical babydoll, then my girls will stop fighting, but they won't play with either babydoll. How many bottles of wine do I buy? 7:59 PM Mar 9, 2021 - Twitter for Android 116 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 882 Likes
Laura Marie ... @lmegordon Here's a math question: My daughters are fighting over a stupid babydollI. If I buy another, identical babydoll, then my girls will stop fighting, but they won't play with either babydoll. How many bottles of wine do I buy? 7:59 PM Mar 9, 2021 - Twitter for Android 116 Retweets 6 Quote Tweets 882 Likes

Twitter / X
dolls kids parents children funny parents

how fun

lilswizzy @MotherPlaylist ... Sorry we're late our toddler spent 30 minutes with water in their mouth that they wouldn't drink, spit out, or walk with. 6:49 PM · Mar 10, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 31 Retweets 261 Likes
lilswizzy @MotherPlaylist ... Sorry we're late our toddler spent 30 minutes with water in their mouth that they wouldn't drink, spit out, or walk with. 6:49 PM · Mar 10, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 31 Retweets 261 Likes

Twitter / X
parents kids fails

the next level is even worse

Marcy G @BunAndLeggings ... Anyone have the cheat codes to parenting a 3-year- old? This level is hard 8:37 PM · Mar 10, 2021 · Twitter for Android 190 Retweets 34 Quote Tweets 1,684 Likes
Marcy G @BunAndLeggings ... Anyone have the cheat codes to parenting a 3-year- old? This level is hard 8:37 PM · Mar 10, 2021 · Twitter for Android 190 Retweets 34 Quote Tweets 1,684 Likes

Twitter / X
parenting mom kids parenting fails

don't speak to them for the first few hours

Kim Bongiorno ... @LetMeStart hath no fury like a teenager who was kindly, gently asked by their loving parent, "Hey, how are you this morning?" 4:03 PM · Mar 10, 2021 Twitter for iPhone 47 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 474 Likes
Kim Bongiorno ... @LetMeStart hath no fury like a teenager who was kindly, gently asked by their loving parent, "Hey, how are you this morning?" 4:03 PM · Mar 10, 2021 Twitter for iPhone 47 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 474 Likes

Twitter / X
teenagers family parenting funny parenting

until next year

Jessie ... @mommajessiec It's finally my son's birthday, after 364 days of me telling him it's not his birthday. 5:02 PM - Mar 7, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 89 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 1,035 Likes
Jessie ... @mommajessiec It's finally my son's birthday, after 364 days of me telling him it's not his birthday. 5:02 PM - Mar 7, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 89 Retweets 4 Quote Tweets 1,035 Likes

Twitter / X
parenting funny parents kids birthday birthday tweet

Damn Jimbo who hurt you

Jim Carrey @JimCarrey Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave. >
Jim Carrey @JimCarrey Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave. >

Twitter / X
funny tweet marriage married life couples relationship jim carrey

Well now I'm going to think about it :\

Zæy Follow @Trekles "How much do you overthink" Me: Drew @Clouttie Y'all ever kill a bug and wonder if their mama is sittin up waiting for them to come home but they dead 4:59 PM - 11 Jan 2018 191,095 Retweets 413,105 Likes
Zæy Follow @Trekles "How much do you overthink" Me: Drew @Clouttie Y'all ever kill a bug and wonder if their mama is sittin up waiting for them to come home but they dead 4:59 PM - 11 Jan 2018 191,095 Retweets 413,105 Likes

Twitter / X
funny tweet relatable tweet bugs killing bugs overthink overthinking

5 stars for honesty and self awareness

shelby rhodes @missshelbayy This review from forever 21 is honestly a mood il AT&T ? 1 16% 8:41 PM A forever21.com = Q FOREVER 21 r * Cute, but I underestimated how fat I am Juana G. 03/18/2018
shelby rhodes @missshelbayy This review from forever 21 is honestly a mood il AT&T ? 1 16% 8:41 PM A forever21.com = Q FOREVER 21 r * Cute, but I underestimated how fat I am Juana G. 03/18/2018

Twitter / X
funny review product review customer review forever 21 online shopping

What did she do that even god is scared to face her?

Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42 My grandmother lived to be 102. WhenI asked her what her secret was, she said, "God's punishing me."
Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42 My grandmother lived to be 102. WhenI asked her what her secret was, she said, "God's punishing me."

Twitter / X
funny tweet grandma grandparents old punishment

Same

Мх. Mel @pneumajustice Maybe the problem isn't that you need more coffee, maybe the problem is that you require a central nervous system stimulant to robotically sustain a constant work output so that you can conform to unrealistic capitalist standards of labor & maintain profitability to corporations 8:25 AM 2/6/19 ·
Мх. Mel @pneumajustice Maybe the problem isn't that you need more coffee, maybe the problem is that you require a central nervous system stimulant to robotically sustain a constant work output so that you can conform to unrealistic capitalist standards of labor & maintain profitability to corporations 8:25 AM 2/6/19 ·

Twitter / X
tweet funny tweet relatable tweet coffee tired exhaustion

I want to thank my parents for never believing in me

Ellie @uh_laine Very proud to announce thatI am officially a lost cause! Thank you all for your continued support unfortunately it was all for nothing! 3/19/18, 3:49 PM
Ellie @uh_laine Very proud to announce thatI am officially a lost cause! Thank you all for your continued support unfortunately it was all for nothing! 3/19/18, 3:49 PM

Twitter / X
funny tweet relatable tweet lost cause failure fail