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Chelsea Davison @chelsea_davison Husbands are pure chaos. I don't wish them on anyone. Extra Large MARS A 035P-1789 AUT
Chelsea Davison @chelsea_davison Husbands are pure chaos. I don't wish them on anyone. Extra Large MARS A 035P-1789 AUT

Twitter / X
eggs fridge marriage funny

does anyone know the answer?

Anna @AnnaDoesntWant2 Get married so you can have spirited debates at 3am about whether it's possible to snore while you're awake
Anna @AnnaDoesntWant2 Get married so you can have spirited debates at 3am about whether it's possible to snore while you're awake

Twitter / X
snore sleep couple marriage

it's over dude

James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: Your haircut looks nice. Wife: I didn't get a haircut. My appointment was canceled. Me: Your hair always looks nice.
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: Your haircut looks nice. Wife: I didn't get a haircut. My appointment was canceled. Me: Your hair always looks nice.

Twitter / X
relationships haircut marriage marriage meme

nothing more romantic

That Mom Tho @mom_tho my husband and I love to play "who can pile the most into the trash can without taking it out" and I can assure there are no winners here, just cursing, garbage covered losers
That Mom Tho @mom_tho my husband and I love to play "who can pile the most into the trash can without taking it out" and I can assure there are no winners here, just cursing, garbage covered losers

Twitter / X
marriage relationships marriage tweets garbage

the latter

Jessie @mommajessiec Are you happily married or did your spouse hit the snooze button 12 times this morning?
Jessie @mommajessiec Are you happily married or did your spouse hit the snooze button 12 times this morning?

Twitter / X
marriage memes funny tweets marriage tweets alarm clock

it's their specialty

... @33FreeMe33 A Sagittarius will tell you they're in love with you then ghost 7:09 PM · Mar 7, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,285 Retweets 765 Quote Tweets 8,946 Likes
... @33FreeMe33 A Sagittarius will tell you they're in love with you then ghost 7:09 PM · Mar 7, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,285 Retweets 765 Quote Tweets 8,946 Likes

Twitter / X
sagittarius horoscope astrology signs memes

Interracial couples = racism, apparently

Clayburn Griffin @Clayburn ... Replying to @InNeverland_ While I'm not suggesting Bill Burr is a racist, a white man having a non-white wife can sometimes be a sign of racism. So you shouldn't assume someone isn't racist just because they own a minority sex servant. They may very well have one because they're racist. 9:14 PM · Mar 14, 2021 · Twitter Web App
Clayburn Griffin @Clayburn ... Replying to @InNeverland_ While I'm not suggesting Bill Burr is a racist, a white man having a non-white wife can sometimes be a sign of racism. So you shouldn't assume someone isn't racist just because they own a minority sex servant. They may very well have one because they're racist. 9:14 PM · Mar 14, 2021 · Twitter Web App

Twitter / X
bruh moment

Libras?

VK ASTROLOGY OF @DCnumerology Zodiac signs that will ignore you and not feel bad about it. -Libra -Scorpio -Cancer -Capricorn - Taurus 2:34 AM · Mar 11, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,284 Retweets 396 Quote Tweets 8,677 Likes
VK ASTROLOGY OF @DCnumerology Zodiac signs that will ignore you and not feel bad about it. -Libra -Scorpio -Cancer -Capricorn - Taurus 2:34 AM · Mar 11, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,284 Retweets 396 Quote Tweets 8,677 Likes

Twitter / X
astrology astrology memes libra scorpio cancer capricorn taurus

lies lies lies

Julz @obsidianshakti A Scorpio will look you DEAD in your eye and lie 7:32 PM · Mar 7, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,466 Retweets 822 Quote Tweets 10.2K Likes
Julz @obsidianshakti A Scorpio will look you DEAD in your eye and lie 7:32 PM · Mar 7, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,466 Retweets 822 Quote Tweets 10.2K Likes

Twitter / X
scorpio lying astrology meme

the answers is usually "no"

Astro Poets @poetastrologers Ask a Pisces if they're ok lol 4:11 PM · Mar 11, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,714 Retweets 1,080 Quote Tweets 10.5K Likes
Astro Poets @poetastrologers Ask a Pisces if they're ok lol 4:11 PM · Mar 11, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1,714 Retweets 1,080 Quote Tweets 10.5K Likes

Twitter / X
pisces horoscope astrology signs

it's always the virgo moms

thursday girl @sansjuniperos ... u cant hurt my feelings my mom is a virgo she already said that s--- to me in 2007 5:49 PM · Mar 10, 2021 · Twitter Web App 2,353 Retweets 990 Quote Tweets 12.1K Likes
thursday girl @sansjuniperos ... u cant hurt my feelings my mom is a virgo she already said that s--- to me in 2007 5:49 PM · Mar 10, 2021 · Twitter Web App 2,353 Retweets 990 Quote Tweets 12.1K Likes

Twitter / X
virgo astrology sign memes mother

amen to that

mélanie @earthdombaby The only thing worse than arguing with a Taurus is arguing with a Virgo 10:55 PM · Mar 11, 2021 · Twitter Web App 2,172 Retweets 1,574 Quote Tweets 15.3K Likes
mélanie @earthdombaby The only thing worse than arguing with a Taurus is arguing with a Virgo 10:55 PM · Mar 11, 2021 · Twitter Web App 2,172 Retweets 1,574 Quote Tweets 15.3K Likes

Twitter / X
taurus virgo signs signs memes

i'd count my lucky stars

@planetmari_ you lucky if you can get a mean ass virgo, sagittarius, scorpio or aquarius to like you 9:32 PM · Mar 11, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2,570 Retweets 752 Quote Tweets 15.5K Likes
@planetmari_ you lucky if you can get a mean ass virgo, sagittarius, scorpio or aquarius to like you 9:32 PM · Mar 11, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2,570 Retweets 752 Quote Tweets 15.5K Likes

Twitter / X
horoscope scorpio virgo sagittarius aquarius

what's your major

dee breezy @xxdbreezyxx quit your job and study astrology. 3:35 PM · Mar 8, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2,114 Retweets 461 Quote Tweets 17.9K Likes
dee breezy @xxdbreezyxx quit your job and study astrology. 3:35 PM · Mar 8, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2,114 Retweets 461 Quote Tweets 17.9K Likes

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astrology study college

what a woman!

eric esoteric @plutonicmoon princess diana being a cancer AND the ultimate mother is proof astrology exists 6:07 AM · Mar 10, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2,751 Retweets 354 Quote Tweets 24.6K Likes
eric esoteric @plutonicmoon princess diana being a cancer AND the ultimate mother is proof astrology exists 6:07 AM · Mar 10, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2,751 Retweets 354 Quote Tweets 24.6K Likes

Twitter / X
astrology horoscope princess diana

Self care?

Matt. @MattTheBrand how to process your emotions in a healthy way (i think) - buy a new candle - take a 45 min shower - drink coffee until you throw up - overshare online - scream
Matt. @MattTheBrand how to process your emotions in a healthy way (i think) - buy a new candle - take a 45 min shower - drink coffee until you throw up - overshare online - scream

Twitter / X
funny tweet mental health coffee candles shower

fail

SpacedMom @copymama ... My 8yo said she wished there was a way to plug headphones into her recorder so she could play anytime and I will singlehandedly fund any Kickstarter for this project 5:29 PM · Mar 13, 2021 · Twitter Web App 29 Retweets 263 Likes
SpacedMom @copymama ... My 8yo said she wished there was a way to plug headphones into her recorder so she could play anytime and I will singlehandedly fund any Kickstarter for this project 5:29 PM · Mar 13, 2021 · Twitter Web App 29 Retweets 263 Likes

Twitter / X
funny parent kids kickstarter parenting

slime monster

A Bearer Of Dad Newsl ... @HomeWithPeanut He died doing what he loathed- trying to make the perfect slime for his kids 10:38 PM Mar 13, 2021 - Twitter for Android 39 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 169 Likes
A Bearer Of Dad Newsl ... @HomeWithPeanut He died doing what he loathed- trying to make the perfect slime for his kids 10:38 PM Mar 13, 2021 - Twitter for Android 39 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 169 Likes

Twitter / X
dad slime kids funny parent

IT guy

NicholasG ... @Dad_At_Law Politely asked 10 to fix a glitch on our home computer and after letting out a long exasperated sigh she fixed it in a matter of seconds so I guess this completes her official transformation into a middle-age IT guy. 12:14 AM - Mar 14, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 66 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 270 Likes
NicholasG ... @Dad_At_Law Politely asked 10 to fix a glitch on our home computer and after letting out a long exasperated sigh she fixed it in a matter of seconds so I guess this completes her official transformation into a middle-age IT guy. 12:14 AM - Mar 14, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 66 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 270 Likes

Twitter / X
funny parenting kids computers

Always walk into the woods

Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface Before you hit reply, ask yourself if it would make you happier to just walk deep into the woods and scream 9:08 PM · 2/10/20 · Twitter for iPhone
Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface Before you hit reply, ask yourself if it would make you happier to just walk deep into the woods and scream 9:08 PM · 2/10/20 · Twitter for iPhone

Twitter / X
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