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My sister on holiday with the kids, they had a few cute ‘towel animals’ left on the bed during the w...

D.A.D.D.Y @team_daddy My sister on holiday with the kids, they had a few cute 'towel animals' left on the bed during the week but just came back to this Traducir Tweet 10:14 a. m. · 23 feb. 2020 · Twitter for iPhone O CRUISE RUISE

D.A.D.D.Y @team_daddy My sister on holiday with the kids, they had a few cute 'towel animals' left on the bed during the week but just came back to this Traducir Tweet 10:14 a. m. · 23 feb. 2020 · Twitter for iPhone O CRUISE RUISE

team_daddy twitter towel toilet

USA friends: All Australian towns have weird names Me: NO WE DON'T Australian Towns:

Nerd Nobain ** @Nerd_Nobain USA friends: All Australian towns have weird names Me: NO WE DON'T Australian Towns: Cairns O Mount Coom Mount N----- O Townsville Coral Sea N------ Bounce O Mackay QUEENSLAND Brisbane Toowoomba Gold Coast A 54 h 4,473 km NEW SOUTH WALES Newcastle Curly D--- Roado OCockburn Crescent delaide Canberra OGlory Hole Cave Smoko O Mount Niggerhead Ballarato Poowong O O Chinamans Knob 11:55 PM · Feb 21, 2020 · Twitter Web App 975 Retweets 3.6K Likes

Nerd Nobain ** @Nerd_Nobain USA friends: All Australian towns have weird names Me: NO WE DON'T Australian Towns: Cairns O Mount Coom Mount N----- O Townsville Coral Sea N------ Bounce O Mackay QUEENSLAND Brisbane Toowoomba Gold Coast A 54 h 4,473 km NEW SOUTH WALES Newcastle Curly D--- Roado OCockburn Crescent delaide Canberra OGlory Hole Cave Smoko O Mount Niggerhead Ballarato Poowong O O Chinamans Knob 11:55 PM · Feb 21, 2020 · Twitter Web App 975 Retweets 3.6K Likes

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Gail Simone's Meltdown

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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one has this range

shev @marvelbellarke i don't know who needs to hear this, but no one has this range Traducir Tweet 3:39 p. m. · 18 feb. 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

shev @marvelbellarke i don't know who needs to hear this, but no one has this range Traducir Tweet 3:39 p. m. · 18 feb. 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

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A weekly occurrence these days

RKLY Twitter has already condemned the new movie and made several posts on social media claiming whoever likes it is a tool

RKLY Twitter has already condemned the new movie and made several posts on social media claiming whoever likes it is a tool

twitter npcs movies wario social media

bad take billy

CircleToonsHD @CircleToonsHD This is bad take billy, he goes on twitter and screams into the void about things he hates without explaining why, and when confronted about his "opinions" he starts calling you insults instead of having a normal conversation don't be like billy 7:59 PM · Feb 11, 2020 · Twitter Web App 96 Retweets 915 Likes

CircleToonsHD @CircleToonsHD This is bad take billy, he goes on twitter and screams into the void about things he hates without explaining why, and when confronted about his "opinions" he starts calling you insults instead of having a normal conversation don't be like billy 7:59 PM · Feb 11, 2020 · Twitter Web App 96 Retweets 915 Likes

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Why are “woke” people called “woke” when they’re the most ignorant, asleep at the wheel ass bitches ...

Blaire White @MsBlaireWhite Why are "woke" people called "woke" when they're the most ignorant, asleep at the wheel ass bitches out here??? 11:25 PM - Jan 24, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

Blaire White @MsBlaireWhite Why are "woke" people called "woke" when they're the most ignorant, asleep at the wheel ass bitches out here??? 11:25 PM - Jan 24, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone

tweet mom we don't need a new war we have plenty of war at home america

Alex Giampapa @Giamdaddy America just needs a mom to be like, "A new war? You got new war money? You never even finished the last two. We have plenty of war at home."

Alex Giampapa @Giamdaddy America just needs a mom to be like, "A new war? You got new war money? You never even finished the last two. We have plenty of war at home."

twitter usa us money mother never even finished the last two 2 dont do not

twitter thread ceiling fan lights not working

Brock Wilbur @brockwilbur Short Thread: staying with some friends and last night after everyone went to bed I could not figure out how to turn off the large ceiling light in their living room. There is a wall controller that seemed fairly straightforward. U/L HI LIGHT MED D/L LOW FAN OFF KICHLER. 1:23 PM · Jan 17, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 16.1K Likes 6.1K Retweets @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Replying to @brockwilbur There is a large main light, a smaller light on top that faces up, several levels of brightness, and a fan. Each time I tried to turn off the upward facing light, something else would turn on. After ten minutes, I woke up my wife to ask her to help. It only got worse. 27 29 3 1.2K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Each time we thought everything was off, a few seconds later something else (or everything else) would turn back on. Minute twenty, I started laughing out of sheer frustration at what felt like a Myst puzzle. Couldn't wake our friends cause they have a small kid. 27 34 18 1.8K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Suddenly, we solved it. Everything went off and stayed off and after waiting a full minute we realized it was gonna stay that way. This is circa lam. I finally went to sleep. 27 17 1.2K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur This morning we asked about what the deal was with the light. The answer has broken me. 27 42 1.2K 1 @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Our friends are in a newly built condo complex. The fan controls use a binary code to connect to the fans. Additionally the controls were only supposed to have a signal reach of 30 feet. They reach much, much further. 27 85 10 1.6K @brockwilbur. Jan 17 Brock Wilbur There are almost 40 units within reach. Based on the binary code limitation there's only 16 possible code options. So everyone in this building controls the main light and fan of at least one other person; maybe more. 27 151 23 2.7K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur From 12:30 to lam last night, I was engaged in a proxy war with up to three other apartments, as they in turn, set my fan to high and my lights to the brightest setting, until everyone gave up. 27 197 4.7K 18 @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Our hosts have been here for six months and have found a way to live with it by imagining who in their building they might be interacting with. This one guy who they think particularly might be an a------ and they have suspicions about when he's running the show. 27 33 2K 12 · Jan 17 | am staying here again tonight. I look forward to wrestling control of the lights from what is essentially angry ghosts in my own personal AITA post. Brock Wilbur @brockwilbur 27 60 10 2.8K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur My inclination is to go Full Lawful Good and turn off everyone's lights tonight at 10pm to make sure we all get a good night of sleep and wake up rested and ready for a productive Saturday. 27 62 3.7K 57 @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur The light is off. War is over. 27 38 2.7K @brockwilbur · Jan 20 Thought I was gonna delete this innocuous thread after it got the inevitable eleven favs. What I love from the replies is that it seems to be a cathartic punching bag for all, regarding how dumb / s----- / funny our trashfuture is. Thanks for reading my story about a ceiling fan. Brock Wilbur 27 11 19 549

Brock Wilbur @brockwilbur Short Thread: staying with some friends and last night after everyone went to bed I could not figure out how to turn off the large ceiling light in their living room. There is a wall controller that seemed fairly straightforward. U/L HI LIGHT MED D/L LOW FAN OFF KICHLER. 1:23 PM · Jan 17, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 16.1K Likes 6.1K Retweets @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Replying to @brockwilbur There is a large main light, a smaller light on top that faces up, several levels of brightness, and a fan. Each time I tried to turn off the upward facing light, something else would turn on. After ten minutes, I woke up my wife to ask her to help. It only got worse. 27 29 3 1.2K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Each time we thought everything was off, a few seconds later something else (or everything else) would turn back on. Minute twenty, I started laughing out of sheer frustration at what felt like a Myst puzzle. Couldn't wake our friends cause they have a small kid. 27 34 18 1.8K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Suddenly, we solved it. Everything went off and stayed off and after waiting a full minute we realized it was gonna stay that way. This is circa lam. I finally went to sleep. 27 17 1.2K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur This morning we asked about what the deal was with the light. The answer has broken me. 27 42 1.2K 1 @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Our friends are in a newly built condo complex. The fan controls use a binary code to connect to the fans. Additionally the controls were only supposed to have a signal reach of 30 feet. They reach much, much further. 27 85 10 1.6K @brockwilbur. Jan 17 Brock Wilbur There are almost 40 units within reach. Based on the binary code limitation there's only 16 possible code options. So everyone in this building controls the main light and fan of at least one other person; maybe more. 27 151 23 2.7K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur From 12:30 to lam last night, I was engaged in a proxy war with up to three other apartments, as they in turn, set my fan to high and my lights to the brightest setting, until everyone gave up. 27 197 4.7K 18 @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur Our hosts have been here for six months and have found a way to live with it by imagining who in their building they might be interacting with. This one guy who they think particularly might be an a------ and they have suspicions about when he's running the show. 27 33 2K 12 · Jan 17 | am staying here again tonight. I look forward to wrestling control of the lights from what is essentially angry ghosts in my own personal AITA post. Brock Wilbur @brockwilbur 27 60 10 2.8K @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur My inclination is to go Full Lawful Good and turn off everyone's lights tonight at 10pm to make sure we all get a good night of sleep and wake up rested and ready for a productive Saturday. 27 62 3.7K 57 @brockwilbur · Jan 17 Brock Wilbur The light is off. War is over. 27 38 2.7K @brockwilbur · Jan 20 Thought I was gonna delete this innocuous thread after it got the inevitable eleven favs. What I love from the replies is that it seems to be a cathartic punching bag for all, regarding how dumb / s----- / funny our trashfuture is. Thanks for reading my story about a ceiling fan. Brock Wilbur 27 11 19 549

tweet @brockwilbur 1 am binary turn on off light condo apartment friends house

deep fried tweet it is 2022 you are in panera bread you meet with your polycule harsh noise collecti...

It is 2022. You are in a Panera Bread. You're meeting with your polycule/harsh noise collective. They're kicking you out because the E-girl you buy foot pics from subtweeted you, calling you problematic. You step out into the street and are nearly clipped by an Ubertesla, the rider of which has paid extra to set it to disregard human life. Your phone buzzes. It's a Venmo request from your polycule, addressed to "Our good bitch", requesting to be compensated for the emotional labor of meeting with you. You pay it in Amazon Scrip.

It is 2022. You are in a Panera Bread. You're meeting with your polycule/harsh noise collective. They're kicking you out because the E-girl you buy foot pics from subtweeted you, calling you problematic. You step out into the street and are nearly clipped by an Ubertesla, the rider of which has paid extra to set it to disregard human life. Your phone buzzes. It's a Venmo request from your polycule, addressed to "Our good bitch", requesting to be compensated for the emotional labor of meeting with you. You pay it in Amazon Scrip.

twitter you're youre will gillaspy

seriously cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough tweet

@RecklessKings we gotta start saying "yuck" out loud when ppl be coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths ppl now a days getting too comfy 10:05 PM · 2020-01-27 · Twitter for iPhone 363 Retweets 843 Likes

@RecklessKings we gotta start saying "yuck" out loud when ppl be coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths ppl now a days getting too comfy 10:05 PM · 2020-01-27 · Twitter for iPhone 363 Retweets 843 Likes

twitter recklesskings yuck sneezing uncover uncovered

network test

Twitter @Twitter 15m test 27 4.3K 3.4K 22.4K Twitter @Twitter · 14m ok it worked 27 2.3K 1.3K 14.8K Apple Music O @AppleMusic 11m Music GIF 27 7 99 <]

Twitter @Twitter 15m test 27 4.3K 3.4K 22.4K Twitter @Twitter · 14m ok it worked 27 2.3K 1.3K 14.8K Apple Music O @AppleMusic 11m Music GIF 27 7 99 <]

twitter outage joke it worked

when I was a young boy my father had what he called the bean jar

dr. ron of the pepper palace @ronaldravegan when i was a young boy my father had what he called the bean jar. it was a jar full of brown and black beans. whenever we misbehaved, he would remove one and tell us that once the jar was empty, the world would end 7/25/18, 9:58 PM 922 Retweets 6,374 Likes

dr. ron of the pepper palace @ronaldravegan when i was a young boy my father had what he called the bean jar. it was a jar full of brown and black beans. whenever we misbehaved, he would remove one and tell us that once the jar was empty, the world would end 7/25/18, 9:58 PM 922 Retweets 6,374 Likes

twitter tweet world end brown and black beans remove one misbehave misbehaved apocalypse

Survey Results

Twitter Safety O @TwitterSafety A critical part of this change was developing this with input from the public, civil society groups, and academic experts. We received 6,500+ responses on our approach, and will continue to make changes like this openly and in consultation with people around the world. 4:00 PM · Feb 4, 2020 · Twitter Web App

Twitter Safety O @TwitterSafety A critical part of this change was developing this with input from the public, civil society groups, and academic experts. We received 6,500+ responses on our approach, and will continue to make changes like this openly and in consultation with people around the world. 4:00 PM · Feb 4, 2020 · Twitter Web App

twitter synthetic and manipulated media policy altered content doctored content fabricated content removal labeled

You may not deceptively share synthetic or manipulated media that are likely to cause harm

Twitter Safety @TwitterSafety Our new rule: You may not deceptively share synthetic or manipulated media that are likely to cause harm. In addition, we may label Tweets containing synthetic and manipulated media to help people understand their authenticity and to provide context. Synthetic and Manipulated Media Rules and Policies P help.twitter.com 4:00 PM · Feb 4, 2020 · Twitter Web App

Twitter Safety @TwitterSafety Our new rule: You may not deceptively share synthetic or manipulated media that are likely to cause harm. In addition, we may label Tweets containing synthetic and manipulated media to help people understand their authenticity and to provide context. Synthetic and Manipulated Media Rules and Policies P help.twitter.com 4:00 PM · Feb 4, 2020 · Twitter Web App

twitter synthetic and manipulated media policy altered content doctored content fabricated content removal labeled

Twitter Manipulated Content Rules

Is the content significantly Is the content shared in a and deceptively altered or deceptive manner? fabricated? Is the content likely to impact public safety or cause serious harm? Content may be labeled. Content may be labeled. Content is likely to be labeled, or may be removed.* Content is likely to be labeled. Content is likely to be removed.

Is the content significantly Is the content shared in a and deceptively altered or deceptive manner? fabricated? Is the content likely to impact public safety or cause serious harm? Content may be labeled. Content may be labeled. Content is likely to be labeled, or may be removed.* Content is likely to be labeled. Content is likely to be removed.

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