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greg Subscribe @greg16676935420 So you're telling me the government can fail 7 straight audits, but if I send my friend $19 on venmo I have 87,000 IRS agents watching me? Watcher.Guru @WatcherGuru. 10h JUST IN: Pentagon unable to account for $824 billion budget, failing its 7th consecutive financial audit. 12:36 AM 17 Nov 24 1.5M Views O 6,274 Reposts 115 Quotes 58.8K Likes 628 Bookmarks

greg Subscribe @greg16676935420 So you're telling me the government can fail 7 straight audits, but if I send my friend $19 on venmo I have 87,000 IRS agents watching me? Watcher.Guru @WatcherGuru. 10h JUST IN: Pentagon unable to account for $824 billion budget, failing its 7th consecutive financial audit. 12:36 AM 17 Nov 24 1.5M Views O 6,274 Reposts 115 Quotes 58.8K Likes 628 Bookmarks

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks america

Oof

Pastor John Hagee @PastorJo.... 11/09/22 The only marriages God will ever recognize is between a man and a woman. 13K 2.8K 9.1K تبار Olivia Julianna @Oliviajulianna Apparently you didn't recognize its value considering you cheated on your wife. 6:00 AM 12/09/22 O 706 Follow 2.9K 38K ☐ 57 <]

Pastor John Hagee @PastorJo.... 11/09/22 The only marriages God will ever recognize is between a man and a woman. 13K 2.8K 9.1K تبار Olivia Julianna @Oliviajulianna Apparently you didn't recognize its value considering you cheated on your wife. 6:00 AM 12/09/22 O 706 Follow 2.9K 38K ☐ 57 <]

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks

Ah yes...

ABL A Better Left @abetterleft.com Ah, yes, the free market. Where billionaires get bailouts for tanking the economy, corporations hoard profits while cutting wages, and CEOs give themselves raises after laying off thousands. But sure, tell the single mom working three jobs to "just work harder". libertarianism.bsky.social @libertarianism.bsky.social .7m If workers want better pay, they should just work harder. That's how the free market works.

ABL A Better Left @abetterleft.com Ah, yes, the free market. Where billionaires get bailouts for tanking the economy, corporations hoard profits while cutting wages, and CEOs give themselves raises after laying off thousands. But sure, tell the single mom working three jobs to "just work harder". libertarianism.bsky.social @libertarianism.bsky.social .7m If workers want better pay, they should just work harder. That's how the free market works.

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks

Hmmm...

Matt Wallace @MattWallace888 Elon Musk is going to put Apple out of Business! slate @PleaseBeGneiss did he buy it

Matt Wallace @MattWallace888 Elon Musk is going to put Apple out of Business! slate @PleaseBeGneiss did he buy it

elon musk murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks facebook

So real

Sarah York @thesarahyork - Nov 12 Boomers sitting in their paid off 4-bedroom homes in the suburbs while their kids drown in debt and a skyrocketed cost of living watching winter rapidly disappear: "But what about what WE want → Misha Saul @misha_saul - Nov 12 Good on NYT for publishing this. Real. Very sad. The New York Times The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent A growing number of Americans are choosing not to have children. Their parents are grappling with what that means for them.

Sarah York @thesarahyork - Nov 12 Boomers sitting in their paid off 4-bedroom homes in the suburbs while their kids drown in debt and a skyrocketed cost of living watching winter rapidly disappear: "But what about what WE want → Misha Saul @misha_saul - Nov 12 Good on NYT for publishing this. Real. Very sad. The New York Times The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent A growing number of Americans are choosing not to have children. Their parents are grappling with what that means for them.

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks boomers millennials

It's true

bryan @bryanyang How come cashiers at 24/7 McDonald's can de-escalate situations better than cops Janette (she/her) @JanetteKirchner Because we get fired if we don't.

bryan @bryanyang How come cashiers at 24/7 McDonald's can de-escalate situations better than cops Janette (she/her) @JanetteKirchner Because we get fired if we don't.

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks

What goes around...

@TSpain21 Replying to @MissJLomax My son at 16 bedtime is 9, he has no phone and no internet access without a parent sitting in the room. Then it is limited to an hr max. There are parental passcodes on the TVs and he can only watch certain TV programs. brady @lackofsmiles. 9h Replying to @TSpain21 and @MissJLomax Crazy that those are gonna be the exact rules you follow in the nursing home

@TSpain21 Replying to @MissJLomax My son at 16 bedtime is 9, he has no phone and no internet access without a parent sitting in the room. Then it is limited to an hr max. There are parental passcodes on the TVs and he can only watch certain TV programs. brady @lackofsmiles. 9h Replying to @TSpain21 and @MissJLomax Crazy that those are gonna be the exact rules you follow in the nursing home

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks parenting

Sharing movies is always wholesome

Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer Follow I saw a promo for the new Gladiator movie and said to my husband, "That looks good. I wonder if I need to see the original first so I know what's going on." My husband jumped up and with his full outside voice said, "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN GLADIATOR?!?" 2.5 hrs later, credits rolling, I said, "That was so good. I bet it won a lot of awards." My husband, "It was nominated for 12 Academy Awards and won best picture, best actor, best costume, best visual effects, and best sound mixing. Ridley Scott was robbed of best director, but Steven Soderbergh won for Traffic, another all time great." Me, "I've never seen Traffic, what's it about?" My husband, "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN TRAFFIC?!"

Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer Follow I saw a promo for the new Gladiator movie and said to my husband, "That looks good. I wonder if I need to see the original first so I know what's going on." My husband jumped up and with his full outside voice said, "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN GLADIATOR?!?" 2.5 hrs later, credits rolling, I said, "That was so good. I bet it won a lot of awards." My husband, "It was nominated for 12 Academy Awards and won best picture, best actor, best costume, best visual effects, and best sound mixing. Ridley Scott was robbed of best director, but Steven Soderbergh won for Traffic, another all time great." Me, "I've never seen Traffic, what's it about?" My husband, "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN TRAFFIC?!"

made me smile /r/mademesmile wholesome blessed images wholesome images

Same

'ante @cornrowkin I hope this kid got an A DEFEND your answer. ANSWER SARGE I DONA KNOW HOW MUCH Longer We can HOLD THEM

'ante @cornrowkin I hope this kid got an A DEFEND your answer. ANSWER SARGE I DONA KNOW HOW MUCH Longer We can HOLD THEM

made me smile /r/mademesmile wholesome blessed images wholesome images kids

What a guy

MM My Mixtapez @mymixtapez Follow Fat Joe refused to give up his autistic son, Joey, for adoption after his son's mother wanted to do so or she would walk away. Instead, Fat Joe and his family chose to raise him themselves 700 3:44 AM 17 Oct 24 2.4M Views • 5,527 Reposts 652 Quotes 100K Likes

MM My Mixtapez @mymixtapez Follow Fat Joe refused to give up his autistic son, Joey, for adoption after his son's mother wanted to do so or she would walk away. Instead, Fat Joe and his family chose to raise him themselves 700 3:44 AM 17 Oct 24 2.4M Views • 5,527 Reposts 652 Quotes 100K Likes

made me smile /r/mademesmile wholesome blessed images wholesome images

Purse burgers

Kayla @kaylamellis_ my staff bought shake shack today since it's our last day on this rotation and there were extra burgers so I shoved 3 into my purse for later and now everyone is calling me "purse burgers" and I fear this nickname will follow me

Kayla @kaylamellis_ my staff bought shake shack today since it's our last day on this rotation and there were extra burgers so I shoved 3 into my purse for later and now everyone is calling me "purse burgers" and I fear this nickname will follow me

made me smile /r/mademesmile wholesome blessed images wholesome images

This is insane

In Denmark they let young children learn through play...it's a pretty advanced practice and the Ed outcomes in make the USA look like troglodytes so maybe take it easy on the questioner. 30 1713 535 You're so advanced yet the USA could send 1 maybe 2 F-35's to take your little country away from you. Be careful who you insult, especially when you are weak and at our mercy. 78 17 33 17 ↑

In Denmark they let young children learn through play...it's a pretty advanced practice and the Ed outcomes in make the USA look like troglodytes so maybe take it easy on the questioner. 30 1713 535 You're so advanced yet the USA could send 1 maybe 2 F-35's to take your little country away from you. Be careful who you insult, especially when you are weak and at our mercy. 78 17 33 17 ↑

/r/shitamericanssay america americans facepalm denmark

Bro's cooked

zach silberberg @zachsilberberg.bsky.s... 13h i wore this shirt to jury duty and the defense lawyer asked if it was true. that man's client is f MARTHA STEWART IS KRISTEN STEWART'S MOM TPHANT AMERICAN TOUR ALT

zach silberberg @zachsilberberg.bsky.s... 13h i wore this shirt to jury duty and the defense lawyer asked if it was true. that man's client is f MARTHA STEWART IS KRISTEN STEWART'S MOM TPHANT AMERICAN TOUR ALT

comedy heaven /r/comedyheaven memes martha stewart kristen stewart

They weren't ready

DiscussingFilm @Dis... 10 Min. • Denzel Washington reveals a gay kiss was cut from 'GLADIATOR 2' "I kissed a man in the film but they took it out, they cut it, I think they got chicken... I kissed a guy full on the lips and I guess they weren't ready for that yet." (Source: gayety.co/denzel-washing...) 92 17244 1,1K 1 42,3Ко

DiscussingFilm @Dis... 10 Min. • Denzel Washington reveals a gay kiss was cut from 'GLADIATOR 2' "I kissed a man in the film but they took it out, they cut it, I think they got chicken... I kissed a guy full on the lips and I guess they weren't ready for that yet." (Source: gayety.co/denzel-washing...) 92 17244 1,1K 1 42,3Ко

comedy heaven /r/comedyheaven memes denzel washington

Mood

awia @annoyingaria Follow First time in a Japanese taxi where old man is BLASTING rap songs Me in broken japanese: You like American songs?? Him : YES! You born in America? : no actually Canada : JJUUUUSSSTTINNN BIIIEEEBEERRRRR!!!!!!!! 7:21 AM - 10 Nov 24 1.4M Views . 8,196 Reposts 305 Quotes 140K Likes 3,199 Bookmarks

awia @annoyingaria Follow First time in a Japanese taxi where old man is BLASTING rap songs Me in broken japanese: You like American songs?? Him : YES! You born in America? : no actually Canada : JJUUUUSSSTTINNN BIIIEEEBEERRRRR!!!!!!!! 7:21 AM - 10 Nov 24 1.4M Views . 8,196 Reposts 305 Quotes 140K Likes 3,199 Bookmarks

comedy heaven /r/comedyheaven memes justin bieber

Thanks for... feet

Michael Chandler @MikeChandle.... 5h First step: Stand up and be thankful you have feet. Scrappers Digest@scrapper....5h Replying to @MikeChandler MMA I'm homeless at the moment Mike how do I get back on my feet?

Michael Chandler @MikeChandle.... 5h First step: Stand up and be thankful you have feet. Scrappers Digest@scrapper....5h Replying to @MikeChandler MMA I'm homeless at the moment Mike how do I get back on my feet?

thanks i'm cured /r/thanksimcured bad advice cringe

Come on out, sun

James DiNicolantonio @drjamesdinic How to win in life Eat real food - diseases disappear Get sunshine - anxiety disappears Start exercising - muscles reappear Sleep well-energy reappears Remove negative people - positivity reappears The bad disappears and the good reappears

James DiNicolantonio @drjamesdinic How to win in life Eat real food - diseases disappear Get sunshine - anxiety disappears Start exercising - muscles reappear Sleep well-energy reappears Remove negative people - positivity reappears The bad disappears and the good reappears

thanks i'm cured /r/thanksimcured bad advice cringe

Oh God...

Truthseer @goldraysoul If you think everything you do is for nothing. Think again If you think you're going in circles Just shift your perspective The Great Sage, PhD @ShriekingNoises Oh good it's actually a downward spiral

Truthseer @goldraysoul If you think everything you do is for nothing. Think again If you think you're going in circles Just shift your perspective The Great Sage, PhD @ShriekingNoises Oh good it's actually a downward spiral

thanks i'm cured /r/thanksimcured bad advice cringe

I collected posts from people using TweetXer to exterminate their Tweets. It makes me happy that my script helps them with letting go.

XDeleting 16569 Tweets 4782 deleted For you Following Deleting 39473 Tweets What is happening? Q 3480 deleted me Deletin 5467 delete ← • Deleting 134501 Tweets (20) M 518 deleted Pagl/X Deleting 56051 T Deleting 64158 Tweets 56051 deleted Home Deleting 11191 Deleting 25368 Tweets Notificações Mensagens Grok Comunidades X Premie Home 's happe Deleting 62466 Twe 279 deleted 4394 deleted Deleting 11891 Tweets 563 deleted Enter how many Tweets to 268 informamos que en Para mais detalhes, co Dugger de empe Deleting 5342 5342 deleted Home Del Deleting 9656 Tweets 48 deleted Home Loisha Deleting 39191 Tweets 365 deleted Home Startse Deleting 14716 Tweets 5074 deleted decken Post X teilungen Deleting 51915 Twechrichten Explore eleting 94554 Tweets Deleting 61969 Tweets deleted Dintor 60357 deleted Deleting 418521 Twe eting 5496 Tweets 6 deleted 287 deleted Brando Caranding testing institutions OF YOU wear nan 731 deleted Deleting 53617 Tweets 185 deleted Deleting 65638 Tweets Deleting 16179 Tweets Deleting 123403 T 93836 deleted Home Deleting 2168 Tweets 180 deleted me Explore Deleting 27050 Tweets 8380 deleted eleting 27911 deleted Deleting 9685 Tweets Hom2 deleted Deleting 35258 Tweets >Deleting 59881 Tweets 202 deleted Deleting 59524 Tweets 387 deleted Home Deleting 32180 Tweets 300 deleted Home Hom 1337 deleted Home Explore Mes Deleting 30824 1 thedoorokc.b Deleting 113714 Tweets Del ☑ Gro 2514 deleted Deleting 282269 Tweets 731 deleted 282268 deleted [[n] cha

XDeleting 16569 Tweets 4782 deleted For you Following Deleting 39473 Tweets What is happening? Q 3480 deleted me Deletin 5467 delete ← • Deleting 134501 Tweets (20) M 518 deleted Pagl/X Deleting 56051 T Deleting 64158 Tweets 56051 deleted Home Deleting 11191 Deleting 25368 Tweets Notificações Mensagens Grok Comunidades X Premie Home 's happe Deleting 62466 Twe 279 deleted 4394 deleted Deleting 11891 Tweets 563 deleted Enter how many Tweets to 268 informamos que en Para mais detalhes, co Dugger de empe Deleting 5342 5342 deleted Home Del Deleting 9656 Tweets 48 deleted Home Loisha Deleting 39191 Tweets 365 deleted Home Startse Deleting 14716 Tweets 5074 deleted decken Post X teilungen Deleting 51915 Twechrichten Explore eleting 94554 Tweets Deleting 61969 Tweets deleted Dintor 60357 deleted Deleting 418521 Twe eting 5496 Tweets 6 deleted 287 deleted Brando Caranding testing institutions OF YOU wear nan 731 deleted Deleting 53617 Tweets 185 deleted Deleting 65638 Tweets Deleting 16179 Tweets Deleting 123403 T 93836 deleted Home Deleting 2168 Tweets 180 deleted me Explore Deleting 27050 Tweets 8380 deleted eleting 27911 deleted Deleting 9685 Tweets Hom2 deleted Deleting 35258 Tweets >Deleting 59881 Tweets 202 deleted Deleting 59524 Tweets 387 deleted Home Deleting 32180 Tweets 300 deleted Home Hom 1337 deleted Home Explore Mes Deleting 30824 1 thedoorokc.b Deleting 113714 Tweets Del ☑ Gro 2514 deleted Deleting 282269 Tweets 731 deleted 282268 deleted [[n] cha

account deleting compilation

Oops

Pete Strzok @petestrzok Oh please tell me more This is the greatest site in the universe AmericanBad Replying to @petestrzok @Amer_icanbad.... 9h You clearly don't understand the law when it comes to classified documents. Here a tweet to support my assertion. twitter.com/mrddmia/status... twitter.com/ mrddmia/status...

Pete Strzok @petestrzok Oh please tell me more This is the greatest site in the universe AmericanBad Replying to @petestrzok @Amer_icanbad.... 9h You clearly don't understand the law when it comes to classified documents. Here a tweet to support my assertion. twitter.com/mrddmia/status... twitter.com/ mrddmia/status...

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam cringe embarrassing awkward moments facepalm