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Hmmm...

Follow why just one week? do you not get more vacation? I've been in Europe one week and their gdp per capita being half of the US immediately makes sense

Follow why just one week? do you not get more vacation? I've been in Europe one week and their gdp per capita being half of the US immediately makes sense

/r/shitamericanssay things americans say america 'murica

Pretty much to be expected

ping@pingthebird - 13h UPDATE: fired ping@pingthebird - 04 Oct do you ever just misclick spicy gay furry art into #engineering-announcements on work slack 38 1798 3.6K 111K ☐ B

ping@pingthebird - 13h UPDATE: fired ping@pingthebird - 04 Oct do you ever just misclick spicy gay furry art into #engineering-announcements on work slack 38 1798 3.6K 111K ☐ B

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Dad jokes caught on

Nicholas Gertsema, CFP®, ChFC®, RICP® @ngertsema I'm putting my 6 yo to bed and he says, "Dad, I have kidneys. You have Dadneys." I'm. So. Proud. 7:09 PM Sep 12, 2021 Twitter for A .

Nicholas Gertsema, CFP®, ChFC®, RICP® @ngertsema I'm putting my 6 yo to bed and he says, "Dad, I have kidneys. You have Dadneys." I'm. So. Proud. 7:09 PM Sep 12, 2021 Twitter for A .

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

If you show up on time, they do

just Dave @davelebies Follow they should schedule doctor appts like DOORS 8:15 Nurse 8:25 Doctor 8:40 624PM-10/28

just Dave @davelebies Follow they should schedule doctor appts like DOORS 8:15 Nurse 8:25 Doctor 8:40 624PM-10/28

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

I don't want to be aware of any of this

drew janda @drewjanda Follow Please stop raising awareness. There is too much. I have become too aware 7:10 PM - Jun 3, 2024 2.2M Views 12.8K Reposts 327 Quotes 79.2K Likes

drew janda @drewjanda Follow Please stop raising awareness. There is too much. I have become too aware 7:10 PM - Jun 3, 2024 2.2M Views 12.8K Reposts 327 Quotes 79.2K Likes

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

She won

Antonia Nicol @Flaminhaystack Before my mum passed away, she gave my dad strict instructions to water the plants in the bathroom. He's been religiously watering them & keeping them alive. They look so amazing he decided to take them to his new home, only to discover they are plastic! Can hear my mum chuckling

Antonia Nicol @Flaminhaystack Before my mum passed away, she gave my dad strict instructions to water the plants in the bathroom. He's been religiously watering them & keeping them alive. They look so amazing he decided to take them to his new home, only to discover they are plastic! Can hear my mum chuckling

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Manipulation

Tricia Rae Pendergrast @traependergrast nature documentary: you now have an emotional attachment to this crab me: ok documentary: do u promise to love him. me: yes of course documentary: THE CRAB IS NOW IN MORTAL PERIL me:

Tricia Rae Pendergrast @traependergrast nature documentary: you now have an emotional attachment to this crab me: ok documentary: do u promise to love him. me: yes of course documentary: THE CRAB IS NOW IN MORTAL PERIL me:

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Disaster waiting to happen

lynn @SeoOnStage • 4h some random kid is gonna try this in the wrong area and will end up on the news iFireMonkey GG @iFireMonkey • Nov 2 "Snoop Dogg Walk" emote promotional video Via @BeastFNCreative PD PL PD- 23 1370 6.5K ılı 98K ㅁ1

lynn @SeoOnStage • 4h some random kid is gonna try this in the wrong area and will end up on the news iFireMonkey GG @iFireMonkey • Nov 2 "Snoop Dogg Walk" emote promotional video Via @BeastFNCreative PD PL PD- 23 1370 6.5K ılı 98K ㅁ1

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

It's not fair

Nate Usher @thenatewolf HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.

Nate Usher @thenatewolf HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Living the good life

SpacedMom @copymama Follow My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said "That would be like sitting in a field of french fries." 20:49. 20 May 24.764K Views 1,847 Reposts 63 Quotes 34.3K Likes 746 Bookmarks

SpacedMom @copymama Follow My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said "That would be like sitting in a field of french fries." 20:49. 20 May 24.764K Views 1,847 Reposts 63 Quotes 34.3K Likes 746 Bookmarks

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

He looks like he's about to ask me a riddle

Eleanor Margolis @Eleanor Margolis why does Timothée Chalamet remind me of this kind of medieval shoe

Eleanor Margolis @Eleanor Margolis why does Timothée Chalamet remind me of this kind of medieval shoe

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

What show have you been watching?

Pookie Post @PookiesParadise homelander is NOT a f `n anti-hero bro Follow JV @vinhlegacy. 1d these are the 4 greatest anti-heroes in all of fiction 2:51 PM 11/1/24 .5M Views 459 t 9.7K Most relevant replies 222K 2.9K

Pookie Post @PookiesParadise homelander is NOT a f `n anti-hero bro Follow JV @vinhlegacy. 1d these are the 4 greatest anti-heroes in all of fiction 2:51 PM 11/1/24 .5M Views 459 t 9.7K Most relevant replies 222K 2.9K

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Nice

Qualy the lightbulb @QualyThe Follow Today, my dad got a call no parent ever wants to get. He heard me tell him I was wrapped up in a crypto scheme involving Thai pris and needed $30,000 to bail me out. This time, it was me. But soon Al will be able to make indistinguishable scam calls like this. Scary. 2:40 PM - Sep 28, 2024 420.7K Views

Qualy the lightbulb @QualyThe Follow Today, my dad got a call no parent ever wants to get. He heard me tell him I was wrapped up in a crypto scheme involving Thai pris and needed $30,000 to bail me out. This time, it was me. But soon Al will be able to make indistinguishable scam calls like this. Scary. 2:40 PM - Sep 28, 2024 420.7K Views

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Good question

@yaoification I love nursing school man Follow The father of a newborn tells the nurse, "My son just died." How should the nurse respond? "I am sorry for your loss." "There is an angel in heaven." "I understand how you feel." "You can have other children." 2:58 PM - 10/30/24 1.3M Views . 188 t 4K M 90K ☐ 4.2K To a STO <]

@yaoification I love nursing school man Follow The father of a newborn tells the nurse, "My son just died." How should the nurse respond? "I am sorry for your loss." "There is an angel in heaven." "I understand how you feel." "You can have other children." 2:58 PM - 10/30/24 1.3M Views . 188 t 4K M 90K ☐ 4.2K To a STO <]

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

My dad drives 40mph on the highway

Average Dad @Average_Dad1 Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them 1:32 PM 10/10/20 Twitter for iPhone

Average Dad @Average_Dad1 Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them 1:32 PM 10/10/20 Twitter for iPhone

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

It's hard to explain

Matthew Broussard @mondaypunday Human: we have a color named after you! Salmon: really? is it silvery blue like my outsides? Human: no, uh- Salmon: wait why is it pink? Human: ... Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK

Matthew Broussard @mondaypunday Human: we have a color named after you! Salmon: really? is it silvery blue like my outsides? Human: no, uh- Salmon: wait why is it pink? Human: ... Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK

twitter non political twitter weird twitter