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Silly me

Nick Morrow @NRMorrow "who the HI is in my Google Doc" I think furiously, before realizing it's me in a different tab
Nick Morrow @NRMorrow "who the HI is in my Google Doc" I think furiously, before realizing it's me in a different tab

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Terrible idea

Brown Butter @krysilove The person who decided that Microsoft Office would be a subscription is going to such a deep part of h that the devil only yells down there.
Brown Butter @krysilove The person who decided that Microsoft Office would be a subscription is going to such a deep part of h that the devil only yells down there.

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Not happening, pals

when you're fighting for your life financially and get added to the "Miami 2025" groupchat
when you're fighting for your life financially and get added to the "Miami 2025" groupchat

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A new you

Emma Ketchum @emmaketchup7 The key to looking amazing is looking like most of the time so it's more of a surprise
Emma Ketchum @emmaketchup7 The key to looking amazing is looking like most of the time so it's more of a surprise

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Finally...

me updating all of my social media platforms after getting one decent pic of me
me updating all of my social media platforms after getting one decent pic of me

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My true form

Chloe Condon @ChloeCondon Me after I hit the "End Meeting" button and return back to my true form
Chloe Condon @ChloeCondon Me after I hit the "End Meeting" button and return back to my true form

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Chilly

National Park Service @Nat... 20h You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold. il, 4.6M 747 114.3K 84.8K heychrisjones @heychrisjones Replying to @NatlParkService Who is running this account 9:10 PM - 17 Jan 23 57.6K Views 8 Retweets 464 Likes 27 National Park Service @Nat... 18h Replying to @heychrisjones ALT 47.6K 34 154 4,246
National Park Service @Nat... 20h You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold. il, 4.6M 747 114.3K 84.8K heychrisjones @heychrisjones Replying to @NatlParkService Who is running this account 9:10 PM - 17 Jan 23 57.6K Views 8 Retweets 464 Likes 27 National Park Service @Nat... 18h Replying to @heychrisjones ALT 47.6K 34 154 4,246

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Says something about the world...

Caitlin Spice @catespice.bsky.social 80s video game: here is a fantasy that you are an astronaut blasting asteroids 90s: no you're a bad marine blasting demons 2000s: time to blast some aliens 2010s: chop up these zombies 2020s: here is a fantasy that you have a cosy house, friends, relationships and food
Caitlin Spice @catespice.bsky.social 80s video game: here is a fantasy that you are an astronaut blasting asteroids 90s: no you're a bad marine blasting demons 2000s: time to blast some aliens 2010s: chop up these zombies 2020s: here is a fantasy that you have a cosy house, friends, relationships and food

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Approximately

jake @callmeshitto the only thing anybody learns while studying abroad is how to delicately weave the fact that u studied abroad into conversation for the next ten years
jake @callmeshitto the only thing anybody learns while studying abroad is how to delicately weave the fact that u studied abroad into conversation for the next ten years

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Sorry about that

Hello Nicole Did you forget that we are in a relationship? You haven't texted me in 2 days Hello? OMG! LOL Sorry it's just that I've been single for so long I forgot we were dating Did you eat yet?
Hello Nicole Did you forget that we are in a relationship? You haven't texted me in 2 days Hello? OMG! LOL Sorry it's just that I've been single for so long I forgot we were dating Did you eat yet?

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Oh...

NyarlathoteplstVorbei @NVorbei ☑ I once went out on a first date with a guy. He asked me how life had been, so I told him I had just recovered from depression that had been so bad I had episodes where I couldn't bathe or eat for days. He responded with "Aw I missed out on sniffing your unwashed musk."
NyarlathoteplstVorbei @NVorbei ☑ I once went out on a first date with a guy. He asked me how life had been, so I told him I had just recovered from depression that had been so bad I had episodes where I couldn't bathe or eat for days. He responded with "Aw I missed out on sniffing your unwashed musk."

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Real

Having a boyfriend is so awesome like there's just a guy in ur house whose job it is to know where countries are and what exactly Watergate was
Having a boyfriend is so awesome like there's just a guy in ur house whose job it is to know where countries are and what exactly Watergate was

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Reminder!

Anthony Carboni @acarboni Reminder: a lot of kids are going online with their first game consoles today! Crush them. Absolutely annihilate them. Feed those idiot children to your ratios. Use their dumb, fumbling hands to build your throne. Make them wish Christmas never came.
Anthony Carboni @acarboni Reminder: a lot of kids are going online with their first game consoles today! Crush them. Absolutely annihilate them. Feed those idiot children to your ratios. Use their dumb, fumbling hands to build your throne. Make them wish Christmas never came.

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Keep that in mind

CUNK ON EARTH Since light travels faster than sound, PH Chemistry people may appear bright until you hear them speak.
CUNK ON EARTH Since light travels faster than sound, PH Chemistry people may appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Checkmate

Ryan Patricks @Ryan_Patricks My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.
Ryan Patricks @Ryan_Patricks My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.

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Doing pretty well

Logan @povertylifestyle Still being single at 32 just means | statistically avoided my first divorce.
Logan @povertylifestyle Still being single at 32 just means | statistically avoided my first divorce.

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