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The what...

Mike Primavera @primawesome Old guy at the gym wearing short shorts just bent down to tie his shoe and the ol flesh chandelier fell right out of the ballroom. georgie @BeefyGorilla 600 Bro was gifted with eloquent speech and uses it for evil 000

Mike Primavera @primawesome Old guy at the gym wearing short shorts just bent down to tie his shoe and the ol flesh chandelier fell right out of the ballroom. georgie @BeefyGorilla 600 Bro was gifted with eloquent speech and uses it for evil 000

brand new sentence oddly specific hmmm weird sentences

The true test

THE DAD The Dad @thedad We have cooking shows with kids cooking but not with kids judging. I would love to watch a kid tell an iron chef that his duck confit is "yucky" and "smells like a barf bucket" then demand a hot dog

THE DAD The Dad @thedad We have cooking shows with kids cooking but not with kids judging. I would love to watch a kid tell an iron chef that his duck confit is "yucky" and "smells like a barf bucket" then demand a hot dog

oddly specific suspiciously specific hmmm strangely specific specific comments weirdly specific comments

This started as a swipe at Twitter blob comics but I ended up laughing at my own punchline so maybe ...

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT WHAT ELON JUST DID? อ OH YEAR, IT'S TERRIBLE, AND TO THINK SOMEONE LIKE THAT IS ANYWHERE NEAR THE PRESIDENT IS JUST ! WOKE SLANDER DETECTED VIA NEURALINK. EMPLOYING CHINESE SCRAMBLER! 太糟糕了!如果埃隆继续这样下去谁知道这个国家会怎么样。我无法想象这种情况还会持续六个更不用说四年月, 宁 -代表一如家, 「感至「他能意允许像每人对国意见,我我希望有任何不应到,一个没府经验的人听着,我爱这个国家。我不希望它失败。所以看到这个国家的無这个此马 ·你认为特朗普是否意 |识到如果让埃隆继续以他尸一的速度行事会造的损害? 说是不可只有在损害时才这一点。伙这持造成会意识计,手不知道我该任他的职怎么! 位。令人这一切都太了。

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT WHAT ELON JUST DID? อ OH YEAR, IT'S TERRIBLE, AND TO THINK SOMEONE LIKE THAT IS ANYWHERE NEAR THE PRESIDENT IS JUST ! WOKE SLANDER DETECTED VIA NEURALINK. EMPLOYING CHINESE SCRAMBLER! 太糟糕了!如果埃隆继续这样下去谁知道这个国家会怎么样。我无法想象这种情况还会持续六个更不用说四年月, 宁 -代表一如家, 「感至「他能意允许像每人对国意见,我我希望有任何不应到,一个没府经验的人听着,我爱这个国家。我不希望它失败。所以看到这个国家的無这个此马 ·你认为特朗普是否意 |识到如果让埃隆继续以他尸一的速度行事会造的损害? 说是不可只有在损害时才这一点。伙这持造成会意识计,手不知道我该任他的职怎么! 位。令人这一切都太了。

elon musk twitter criticism scrambler

You sure?

Sugar Dad of Nnewi @DrZeus.... 11h Did you cook this with sunlight? bren@remonteta. 2d can't beat a full english 152 14.667 49,9K

Sugar Dad of Nnewi @DrZeus.... 11h Did you cook this with sunlight? bren@remonteta. 2d can't beat a full english 152 14.667 49,9K

rare insults insults insane comebacks insane insults clever comebacks oof

Just get a job

Follow Replying to Hot take but it shouldn't take you that long to figure out your life. Life isn't that complicated. Find a well-paying career, spend a few years to specialize in it, get great at it, earn great money, build a family. 10:11 PM 02 Mar 25 159K Views

Follow Replying to Hot take but it shouldn't take you that long to figure out your life. Life isn't that complicated. Find a well-paying career, spend a few years to specialize in it, get great at it, earn great money, build a family. 10:11 PM 02 Mar 25 159K Views

thanks i'm cured bad advice facepalm

You ruined it

DC @Dreaaceline I hate showing my mama a funny video or pic & she be like "who's that?". Like Idk but you were supposed to laugh. Now give me my phone back.

DC @Dreaaceline I hate showing my mama a funny video or pic & she be like "who's that?". Like Idk but you were supposed to laugh. Now give me my phone back.

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Well?

rob @OkButStill dude it's so cool that you're in town. i have 7 minutes between work and a dental appointment if you want to stand inside a parking garage and catch up

rob @OkButStill dude it's so cool that you're in town. i have 7 minutes between work and a dental appointment if you want to stand inside a parking garage and catch up

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Which is much better

@soymeii my mom didn't raise a quitter, she raised someone so afraid of failure that they don't even start something

@soymeii my mom didn't raise a quitter, she raised someone so afraid of failure that they don't even start something

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Banana

Ingrid Oliver @ingridoliver100 Follow Just now walking down the street eating a banana, I spotted a woman at a bus stop, also eating a banana. To her horror & mine, I was physically unable to stop myself raising my banana to her in a sort of banana toast. She looked v confused then, adorably, bobbed her banana back.

Ingrid Oliver @ingridoliver100 Follow Just now walking down the street eating a banana, I spotted a woman at a bus stop, also eating a banana. To her horror & mine, I was physically unable to stop myself raising my banana to her in a sort of banana toast. She looked v confused then, adorably, bobbed her banana back.

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Do it

gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi My friend got a tattoo on his arm that says "comparison is the thief of joy" and I'm really debating getting the same tattoo on my arm but a little bit bigger

gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi My friend got a tattoo on his arm that says "comparison is the thief of joy" and I'm really debating getting the same tattoo on my arm but a little bit bigger

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It would be so effective

evil slate @PleaseBeGneiss learning is so boring unless it's gossip. teachers should just start every lecture like "omg did you hear about parabolas" ***

evil slate @PleaseBeGneiss learning is so boring unless it's gossip. teachers should just start every lecture like "omg did you hear about parabolas" ***

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This is true

Trey @continentlbkfst kids who wouldn't let you borrow a pencil in class don't let you merge on the highway now

Trey @continentlbkfst kids who wouldn't let you borrow a pencil in class don't let you merge on the highway now

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How to win at life

> KH Khattak @khyzar_ktk Pro-tip: Never be sad on a holiday/ weekend. Cry on a workday. Get paid for your depression. Don't let capitalism win. 3:42 AM - 2/5/20 - Twitter for Android

> KH Khattak @khyzar_ktk Pro-tip: Never be sad on a holiday/ weekend. Cry on a workday. Get paid for your depression. Don't let capitalism win. 3:42 AM - 2/5/20 - Twitter for Android

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Cooking for kids is the real challenge

THE DAD The Dad @thedad We have cooking shows with kids. cooking but not with kids judging. I would love to watch a kid tell an iron chef that his duck confit is "yucky" and "smells like a barf bucket" then demand a hot dog

THE DAD The Dad @thedad We have cooking shows with kids. cooking but not with kids judging. I would love to watch a kid tell an iron chef that his duck confit is "yucky" and "smells like a barf bucket" then demand a hot dog

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Exactly

just became a homeowner at 19 gods plan EX830 keeping the price tags around the house to remember how hard you worked L

just became a homeowner at 19 gods plan EX830 keeping the price tags around the house to remember how hard you worked L

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That's on us

Melvin of York @MelvinofYork It's funny how we say "a bug hit my windshield" when we are the ones going 70mph. I'll bet the bug's family describes it differently

Melvin of York @MelvinofYork It's funny how we say "a bug hit my windshield" when we are the ones going 70mph. I'll bet the bug's family describes it differently

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