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It's not fair

Nate Usher @thenatewolf HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.

Nate Usher @thenatewolf HUMAN BODY: I can grow a fully formed human baby in like 9 months. I'm talking brain, functioning respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. ME: Cool, cool. How long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? HUMAN BODY: 7 years and it will never be the same.

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Living the good life

SpacedMom @copymama Follow My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said "That would be like sitting in a field of french fries." 20:49. 20 May 24.764K Views 1,847 Reposts 63 Quotes 34.3K Likes 746 Bookmarks

SpacedMom @copymama Follow My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said "That would be like sitting in a field of french fries." 20:49. 20 May 24.764K Views 1,847 Reposts 63 Quotes 34.3K Likes 746 Bookmarks

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

He looks like he's about to ask me a riddle

Eleanor Margolis @Eleanor Margolis why does Timothée Chalamet remind me of this kind of medieval shoe

Eleanor Margolis @Eleanor Margolis why does Timothée Chalamet remind me of this kind of medieval shoe

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

What show have you been watching?

Pookie Post @PookiesParadise homelander is NOT a f `n anti-hero bro Follow JV @vinhlegacy. 1d these are the 4 greatest anti-heroes in all of fiction 2:51 PM 11/1/24 .5M Views 459 t 9.7K Most relevant replies 222K 2.9K

Pookie Post @PookiesParadise homelander is NOT a f `n anti-hero bro Follow JV @vinhlegacy. 1d these are the 4 greatest anti-heroes in all of fiction 2:51 PM 11/1/24 .5M Views 459 t 9.7K Most relevant replies 222K 2.9K

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Nice

Qualy the lightbulb @QualyThe Follow Today, my dad got a call no parent ever wants to get. He heard me tell him I was wrapped up in a crypto scheme involving Thai pris and needed $30,000 to bail me out. This time, it was me. But soon Al will be able to make indistinguishable scam calls like this. Scary. 2:40 PM - Sep 28, 2024 420.7K Views

Qualy the lightbulb @QualyThe Follow Today, my dad got a call no parent ever wants to get. He heard me tell him I was wrapped up in a crypto scheme involving Thai pris and needed $30,000 to bail me out. This time, it was me. But soon Al will be able to make indistinguishable scam calls like this. Scary. 2:40 PM - Sep 28, 2024 420.7K Views

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Good question

@yaoification I love nursing school man Follow The father of a newborn tells the nurse, "My son just died." How should the nurse respond? "I am sorry for your loss." "There is an angel in heaven." "I understand how you feel." "You can have other children." 2:58 PM - 10/30/24 1.3M Views . 188 t 4K M 90K ☐ 4.2K To a STO <]

@yaoification I love nursing school man Follow The father of a newborn tells the nurse, "My son just died." How should the nurse respond? "I am sorry for your loss." "There is an angel in heaven." "I understand how you feel." "You can have other children." 2:58 PM - 10/30/24 1.3M Views . 188 t 4K M 90K ☐ 4.2K To a STO <]

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

My dad drives 40mph on the highway

Average Dad @Average_Dad1 Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them 1:32 PM 10/10/20 Twitter for iPhone

Average Dad @Average_Dad1 Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them 1:32 PM 10/10/20 Twitter for iPhone

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

It's hard to explain

Matthew Broussard @mondaypunday Human: we have a color named after you! Salmon: really? is it silvery blue like my outsides? Human: no, uh- Salmon: wait why is it pink? Human: ... Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK

Matthew Broussard @mondaypunday Human: we have a color named after you! Salmon: really? is it silvery blue like my outsides? Human: no, uh- Salmon: wait why is it pink? Human: ... Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Come on, get it together

rudy mustang @rudy_mustang looks like the stock market is entering a depression. in my opinion it should drink water and get some sunlight and get over it

rudy mustang @rudy_mustang looks like the stock market is entering a depression. in my opinion it should drink water and get some sunlight and get over it

thanks i'm cured /r/thanksimcured bad advice cringe

Things have changed

Birby and Defiant to the Bitter End @billy_bones Your First PC: Hi I'm a Human Fighter avenging the death of my father Your Fourth PC: I'm a mountain biking vampire witch from the future GIF 10/2/18, 9:36 PM

Birby and Defiant to the Bitter End @billy_bones Your First PC: Hi I'm a Human Fighter avenging the death of my father Your Fourth PC: I'm a mountain biking vampire witch from the future GIF 10/2/18, 9:36 PM

dnd memes dnd dungeons and dragons /r/dndmemes reddit memes gaming

Back in the day...

Phantom of the Chopra @steak_ham Back when I was a kid you didn't need Joe Rogan. Your best friend had a 27 year-old brother who was a f loser who would smoke pot in a room with blacklight posters and tell you that the Mayans invented cell phones.

Phantom of the Chopra @steak_ham Back when I was a kid you didn't need Joe Rogan. Your best friend had a 27 year-old brother who was a f loser who would smoke pot in a room with blacklight posters and tell you that the Mayans invented cell phones.

rare insults /r/rareinsults insults comebacks clever comebacks murdered by words joe rogan

Oop

I♥U 3K @FaderTheGxd Wanna know who wouldn't have these problems with Thanos? Chuck Pilgrim @Chukwuma_U Let them defeat Rotten Tomatoes first < <

I♥U 3K @FaderTheGxd Wanna know who wouldn't have these problems with Thanos? Chuck Pilgrim @Chukwuma_U Let them defeat Rotten Tomatoes first < <

rare insults /r/rareinsults insults comebacks clever comebacks murdered by words marvel dc thanos

At least he noticed

Jason Warner @jasoncwarner · 35m • That's my point. They likely aren't putting much at risk, but the marketing reward is suuuuuuper high. If you game theory this out, the outcome is pretty self evident from both sides with some wiggle room in the margins. 1 27 1 9 Ben Thompson @benthompson Replying to @jasoncwarner @b05crypto and @dhh Do you have any idea how much it costs to create a service like Hey? 1:13 PM · Jun 17, 2020. Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet 24 Likes Jason Warner @jasoncwarner · 31m . Replying to @benthompson @b05crypto and @dhh I mean, yes? 1 Ben Thompson (Looks at bio) 17 1 @benthompson • 30m . 44 L→ >

Jason Warner @jasoncwarner · 35m • That's my point. They likely aren't putting much at risk, but the marketing reward is suuuuuuper high. If you game theory this out, the outcome is pretty self evident from both sides with some wiggle room in the margins. 1 27 1 9 Ben Thompson @benthompson Replying to @jasoncwarner @b05crypto and @dhh Do you have any idea how much it costs to create a service like Hey? 1:13 PM · Jun 17, 2020. Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet 24 Likes Jason Warner @jasoncwarner · 31m . Replying to @benthompson @b05crypto and @dhh I mean, yes? 1 Ben Thompson (Looks at bio) 17 1 @benthompson • 30m . 44 L→ >

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

Well?

Jesús Armas @jesusarmasccs I'm from Venezuela and I live here. The real question is: What do you really know about it? Adam Chalkley @AdamChalkley84.1h Replying to @jesusarmasccs You talk about Venezuela a lot but what do you really know about it. 17.00 Tittenfor ink.

Jesús Armas @jesusarmasccs I'm from Venezuela and I live here. The real question is: What do you really know about it? Adam Chalkley @AdamChalkley84.1h Replying to @jesusarmasccs You talk about Venezuela a lot but what do you really know about it. 17.00 Tittenfor ink.

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

The girlfriend is here

alelbuth @alelbuth · 14m Oh my ~Post Nubila PHOEBUS @_.... 55m More Jack please 5 221 53 ↑ ili Adam @F1Adam8 10m dream on, he has a girlfriend. 1 alelbuth @alelbuth Replying to @F1Adam8 It is me. I am the girlfriend. ↑

alelbuth @alelbuth · 14m Oh my ~Post Nubila PHOEBUS @_.... 55m More Jack please 5 221 53 ↑ ili Adam @F1Adam8 10m dream on, he has a girlfriend. 1 alelbuth @alelbuth Replying to @F1Adam8 It is me. I am the girlfriend. ↑

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

Fun times

Jens Ravens @JensRavens Replying to @tiangolo > Last year I got rejected during a job interview for "not understanding" the concepts of a certain iOS library. What the interviewer didn't know: I wrote that thing. I actually had a lot of fun during that interview

Jens Ravens @JensRavens Replying to @tiangolo > Last year I got rejected during a job interview for "not understanding" the concepts of a certain iOS library. What the interviewer didn't know: I wrote that thing. I actually had a lot of fun during that interview

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

You're good, but...

airhead mere @merestromb. 1d One time I was doing stand up and this guy came up to me after and was like "you're pretty good but you definitely stole one of your jokes from a viral tweet which is lame" It was my viral tweet. 11 110 5,445 ↑

airhead mere @merestromb. 1d One time I was doing stand up and this guy came up to me after and was like "you're pretty good but you definitely stole one of your jokes from a viral tweet which is lame" It was my viral tweet. 11 110 5,445 ↑

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

What does that even mean?

Tabletop gaming the dislocating GM waiting for my ne... ✓ @mustangsart Top notch comment from some dude on OkCupid today: "Sorry but you really don't look like someone who likes the Witcher." Me, having WROTE for the Witcher ttrpg and played a game with Doug Cockle: "I- ....huh???" 10:14 AM - 8/1/20 Twitter Web App 195 Retweets and comments 2,482 Likes

Tabletop gaming the dislocating GM waiting for my ne... ✓ @mustangsart Top notch comment from some dude on OkCupid today: "Sorry but you really don't look like someone who likes the Witcher." Me, having WROTE for the Witcher ttrpg and played a game with Doug Cockle: "I- ....huh???" 10:14 AM - 8/1/20 Twitter Web App 195 Retweets and comments 2,482 Likes

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam the witcher

Makes sense

Christine Nangle @nangl....11m I have a simpsons avi because I voice that character on the Simpsons. tenderpepperoncini a .1h Replying to hanglish and oh we gotta simpsons self avi waman coming in here with the savage burn ooooooh

Christine Nangle @nangl....11m I have a simpsons avi because I voice that character on the Simpsons. tenderpepperoncini a .1h Replying to hanglish and oh we gotta simpsons self avi waman coming in here with the savage burn ooooooh

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

Aw...

traitor joe @phoebe_bridgers one time I was at one of those places with a bunch of band names on the wall and read my own name out loud with excitement and the owner said "oh yeah she comes in here all the time"

traitor joe @phoebe_bridgers one time I was at one of those places with a bunch of band names on the wall and read my own name out loud with excitement and the owner said "oh yeah she comes in here all the time"

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam phoebe bridgers