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Moon people

critter . @BecomingCritter 1d i can't wait til we have slurs for moon people dirtman (b/sac) @terrorproforma. 1d The 51st state 600
critter . @BecomingCritter 1d i can't wait til we have slurs for moon people dirtman (b/sac) @terrorproforma. 1d The 51st state 600

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They have the right to be mad

Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking dog: [brings sticks inside] me: no that belongs outside me, at Christmas time: [brings entire tree inside] dog: what the actual s'¨ is this
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking dog: [brings sticks inside] me: no that belongs outside me, at Christmas time: [brings entire tree inside] dog: what the actual s'¨ is this

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Like of course you did

Joey @joeyglighr I hate when boomers say "I paid off my tuition by working through college" and their tuition cost like 3 nickels and an oath against communism L
Joey @joeyglighr I hate when boomers say "I paid off my tuition by working through college" and their tuition cost like 3 nickels and an oath against communism L

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Feels the same

Tom @TwterGun Why do drugs after 30 when you can just stand up too fast?
Tom @TwterGun Why do drugs after 30 when you can just stand up too fast?

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I am not reliable

truer words have never been spoken "Believe in myself??" The same person who got me into this mess?
truer words have never been spoken "Believe in myself??" The same person who got me into this mess?

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Sounds about right

aborteddreams Aborted Dreams @aborteddreams My dental plan is, "I guess I'll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on"
aborteddreams Aborted Dreams @aborteddreams My dental plan is, "I guess I'll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on"

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Too real

rice Kwame Mbalia and Tristan Strong @KSekouM Banana: I'm not ripe yet Banana: I'm not ripe yet Banana: I'm not ripe yet Banana, whispering at 3am in the morning: i'm ripe Banana at 8am that morning: HAHAHA I'M ROTTEN BOOOOOOOOY, WELCOME TO BROWN TOWN.
rice Kwame Mbalia and Tristan Strong @KSekouM Banana: I'm not ripe yet Banana: I'm not ripe yet Banana: I'm not ripe yet Banana, whispering at 3am in the morning: i'm ripe Banana at 8am that morning: HAHAHA I'M ROTTEN BOOOOOOOOY, WELCOME TO BROWN TOWN.

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Self-reflection

emily may ⭑ @emilykmay Follow My 2yo, Miguel, had taken off his diaper at some point during his nap and when I walked in and saw it on the floor, he looked at me and said: "WHY'D YOU DO THAT, MIGUEL?????" 1:05 AM Oct 14, 2023 509.2K Views 71 tv 181 7.5K 151 80
emily may ⭑ @emilykmay Follow My 2yo, Miguel, had taken off his diaper at some point during his nap and when I walked in and saw it on the floor, he looked at me and said: "WHY'D YOU DO THAT, MIGUEL?????" 1:05 AM Oct 14, 2023 509.2K Views 71 tv 181 7.5K 151 80

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True crime

Katie D @Katie Deal99 . Follow X My daughter told her teacher that I love murder but forgot to include the TV SHOWS part so our next meeting should be fun
Katie D @Katie Deal99 . Follow X My daughter told her teacher that I love murder but forgot to include the TV SHOWS part so our next meeting should be fun

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So nice!

That Mom Tho @mom_tho Follow • X my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said "i am your mom" and she said "but like, a cool young fun mom" im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that
That Mom Tho @mom_tho Follow • X my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said "i am your mom" and she said "but like, a cool young fun mom" im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that

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They don't know what they're doing

Mandalynns23 @mandalynns23 We told my 4yr old I was pregnant and she was NOT happy about it. After she cried in her bed she came downstairs hands on hips and asked in the most accusatory tone "And where exactly is this new baby gonna sleep?" like we were two teens who hadn't thought this pregnancy through
Mandalynns23 @mandalynns23 We told my 4yr old I was pregnant and she was NOT happy about it. After she cried in her bed she came downstairs hands on hips and asked in the most accusatory tone "And where exactly is this new baby gonna sleep?" like we were two teens who hadn't thought this pregnancy through

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Sounds about right

James Breakwell, Exploding Uni... @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Me: What? 4: I don't remember.
James Breakwell, Exploding Uni... @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Me: What? 4: I don't remember.

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Grocery shopping things

69 Dicola Rada Ricola Ricols Clix Cicol D 48 cola Ricola colo Nicols Ri Nicol cola Rixty Ashley Parker ❤ @AshleyRParker Follow Sunday morning trip to the grocery store. Classic of the genre. 9:26 PM 24 Nov 24 84.2K Views • • 6 SERVICE
69 Dicola Rada Ricola Ricols Clix Cicol D 48 cola Ricola colo Nicols Ri Nicol cola Rixty Ashley Parker ❤ @AshleyRParker Follow Sunday morning trip to the grocery store. Classic of the genre. 9:26 PM 24 Nov 24 84.2K Views • • 6 SERVICE

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Baby names

Stephanie Insley Hershinow @S_Insley_H Follow 5yo; "Mommy, I think when I grow up, I might change my name to a grownup name because my name is a little kid's name. Maybe I'll use my middle name. My name is such a baby name! I want a grown up name when I'm a grown up." Reader, his name is HARVEY. 3:39 PM - May 3, 2023 1.5M Views 202 33K 296 go
Stephanie Insley Hershinow @S_Insley_H Follow 5yo; "Mommy, I think when I grow up, I might change my name to a grownup name because my name is a little kid's name. Maybe I'll use my middle name. My name is such a baby name! I want a grown up name when I'm a grown up." Reader, his name is HARVEY. 3:39 PM - May 3, 2023 1.5M Views 202 33K 296 go

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What an odd concept

It's Sheena @Tendin2 Follow I went boohooing to my mom and Jax was like "why were you crying on Grandma like that?" | had to explain how like when he wants to cuddle when he is upset and he was like "She's like your ...mom?" 1:12 AM Feb 29, 2024 1.7M Views • • 179 2.5K 52K 1.4K 80
It's Sheena @Tendin2 Follow I went boohooing to my mom and Jax was like "why were you crying on Grandma like that?" | had to explain how like when he wants to cuddle when he is upset and he was like "She's like your ...mom?" 1:12 AM Feb 29, 2024 1.7M Views • • 179 2.5K 52K 1.4K 80

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Very creative

Alix E. Harrow @AlixEHarrow having been told that it's rude to call dinner "gross," our 4yo is finding increasingly creative ways to express himself "this tastes........unlucky to me" "this sends my mouth into outer space. (that's bad)" "cauliflower is"--[pinches fingers together]--"this much delicious" 7:48 AM 1/21/21 Twitter Web App
Alix E. Harrow @AlixEHarrow having been told that it's rude to call dinner "gross," our 4yo is finding increasingly creative ways to express himself "this tastes........unlucky to me" "this sends my mouth into outer space. (that's bad)" "cauliflower is"--[pinches fingers together]--"this much delicious" 7:48 AM 1/21/21 Twitter Web App

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