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My dad drives 40mph on the highway

Average Dad @Average_Dad1 Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them 1:32 PM 10/10/20 Twitter for iPhone

Average Dad @Average_Dad1 Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them 1:32 PM 10/10/20 Twitter for iPhone

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

It's hard to explain

Matthew Broussard @mondaypunday Human: we have a color named after you! Salmon: really? is it silvery blue like my outsides? Human: no, uh- Salmon: wait why is it pink? Human: ... Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK

Matthew Broussard @mondaypunday Human: we have a color named after you! Salmon: really? is it silvery blue like my outsides? Human: no, uh- Salmon: wait why is it pink? Human: ... Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK

twitter non political twitter weird twitter

Come on, get it together

rudy mustang @rudy_mustang looks like the stock market is entering a depression. in my opinion it should drink water and get some sunlight and get over it

rudy mustang @rudy_mustang looks like the stock market is entering a depression. in my opinion it should drink water and get some sunlight and get over it

thanks i'm cured /r/thanksimcured bad advice cringe

Things have changed

Birby and Defiant to the Bitter End @billy_bones Your First PC: Hi I'm a Human Fighter avenging the death of my father Your Fourth PC: I'm a mountain biking vampire witch from the future GIF 10/2/18, 9:36 PM

Birby and Defiant to the Bitter End @billy_bones Your First PC: Hi I'm a Human Fighter avenging the death of my father Your Fourth PC: I'm a mountain biking vampire witch from the future GIF 10/2/18, 9:36 PM

dnd memes dnd dungeons and dragons /r/dndmemes reddit memes gaming

Back in the day...

Phantom of the Chopra @steak_ham Back when I was a kid you didn't need Joe Rogan. Your best friend had a 27 year-old brother who was a f loser who would smoke pot in a room with blacklight posters and tell you that the Mayans invented cell phones.

Phantom of the Chopra @steak_ham Back when I was a kid you didn't need Joe Rogan. Your best friend had a 27 year-old brother who was a f loser who would smoke pot in a room with blacklight posters and tell you that the Mayans invented cell phones.

rare insults /r/rareinsults insults comebacks clever comebacks murdered by words joe rogan

Oop

I♥U 3K @FaderTheGxd Wanna know who wouldn't have these problems with Thanos? Chuck Pilgrim @Chukwuma_U Let them defeat Rotten Tomatoes first < <

I♥U 3K @FaderTheGxd Wanna know who wouldn't have these problems with Thanos? Chuck Pilgrim @Chukwuma_U Let them defeat Rotten Tomatoes first < <

rare insults /r/rareinsults insults comebacks clever comebacks murdered by words marvel dc thanos

At least he noticed

Jason Warner @jasoncwarner · 35m • That's my point. They likely aren't putting much at risk, but the marketing reward is suuuuuuper high. If you game theory this out, the outcome is pretty self evident from both sides with some wiggle room in the margins. 1 27 1 9 Ben Thompson @benthompson Replying to @jasoncwarner @b05crypto and @dhh Do you have any idea how much it costs to create a service like Hey? 1:13 PM · Jun 17, 2020. Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet 24 Likes Jason Warner @jasoncwarner · 31m . Replying to @benthompson @b05crypto and @dhh I mean, yes? 1 Ben Thompson (Looks at bio) 17 1 @benthompson • 30m . 44 L→ >

Jason Warner @jasoncwarner · 35m • That's my point. They likely aren't putting much at risk, but the marketing reward is suuuuuuper high. If you game theory this out, the outcome is pretty self evident from both sides with some wiggle room in the margins. 1 27 1 9 Ben Thompson @benthompson Replying to @jasoncwarner @b05crypto and @dhh Do you have any idea how much it costs to create a service like Hey? 1:13 PM · Jun 17, 2020. Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet 24 Likes Jason Warner @jasoncwarner · 31m . Replying to @benthompson @b05crypto and @dhh I mean, yes? 1 Ben Thompson (Looks at bio) 17 1 @benthompson • 30m . 44 L→ >

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

Well?

Jesús Armas @jesusarmasccs I'm from Venezuela and I live here. The real question is: What do you really know about it? Adam Chalkley @AdamChalkley84.1h Replying to @jesusarmasccs You talk about Venezuela a lot but what do you really know about it. 17.00 Tittenfor ink.

Jesús Armas @jesusarmasccs I'm from Venezuela and I live here. The real question is: What do you really know about it? Adam Chalkley @AdamChalkley84.1h Replying to @jesusarmasccs You talk about Venezuela a lot but what do you really know about it. 17.00 Tittenfor ink.

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

The girlfriend is here

alelbuth @alelbuth · 14m Oh my ~Post Nubila PHOEBUS @_.... 55m More Jack please 5 221 53 ↑ ili Adam @F1Adam8 10m dream on, he has a girlfriend. 1 alelbuth @alelbuth Replying to @F1Adam8 It is me. I am the girlfriend. ↑

alelbuth @alelbuth · 14m Oh my ~Post Nubila PHOEBUS @_.... 55m More Jack please 5 221 53 ↑ ili Adam @F1Adam8 10m dream on, he has a girlfriend. 1 alelbuth @alelbuth Replying to @F1Adam8 It is me. I am the girlfriend. ↑

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

Fun times

Jens Ravens @JensRavens Replying to @tiangolo > Last year I got rejected during a job interview for "not understanding" the concepts of a certain iOS library. What the interviewer didn't know: I wrote that thing. I actually had a lot of fun during that interview

Jens Ravens @JensRavens Replying to @tiangolo > Last year I got rejected during a job interview for "not understanding" the concepts of a certain iOS library. What the interviewer didn't know: I wrote that thing. I actually had a lot of fun during that interview

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

You're good, but...

airhead mere @merestromb. 1d One time I was doing stand up and this guy came up to me after and was like "you're pretty good but you definitely stole one of your jokes from a viral tweet which is lame" It was my viral tweet. 11 110 5,445 ↑

airhead mere @merestromb. 1d One time I was doing stand up and this guy came up to me after and was like "you're pretty good but you definitely stole one of your jokes from a viral tweet which is lame" It was my viral tweet. 11 110 5,445 ↑

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

What does that even mean?

Tabletop gaming the dislocating GM waiting for my ne... ✓ @mustangsart Top notch comment from some dude on OkCupid today: "Sorry but you really don't look like someone who likes the Witcher." Me, having WROTE for the Witcher ttrpg and played a game with Doug Cockle: "I- ....huh???" 10:14 AM - 8/1/20 Twitter Web App 195 Retweets and comments 2,482 Likes

Tabletop gaming the dislocating GM waiting for my ne... ✓ @mustangsart Top notch comment from some dude on OkCupid today: "Sorry but you really don't look like someone who likes the Witcher." Me, having WROTE for the Witcher ttrpg and played a game with Doug Cockle: "I- ....huh???" 10:14 AM - 8/1/20 Twitter Web App 195 Retweets and comments 2,482 Likes

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam the witcher

Makes sense

Christine Nangle @nangl....11m I have a simpsons avi because I voice that character on the Simpsons. tenderpepperoncini a .1h Replying to hanglish and oh we gotta simpsons self avi waman coming in here with the savage burn ooooooh

Christine Nangle @nangl....11m I have a simpsons avi because I voice that character on the Simpsons. tenderpepperoncini a .1h Replying to hanglish and oh we gotta simpsons self avi waman coming in here with the savage burn ooooooh

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

Aw...

traitor joe @phoebe_bridgers one time I was at one of those places with a bunch of band names on the wall and read my own name out loud with excitement and the owner said "oh yeah she comes in here all the time"

traitor joe @phoebe_bridgers one time I was at one of those places with a bunch of band names on the wall and read my own name out loud with excitement and the owner said "oh yeah she comes in here all the time"

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam phoebe bridgers

I guess!

.2h Replying to @damiengayle Hello Damien, I'm a reporter for the Guardian, is this your video? could we use it with full credit to you? 1 27 7 L 25 Damien Gayle @damiengayle - 2h Lol I'm a reporter with the Guardian 9 15 286 Damien Gayle @damiengayle 2h So I guess you can use it 2 273 67 go >

.2h Replying to @damiengayle Hello Damien, I'm a reporter for the Guardian, is this your video? could we use it with full credit to you? 1 27 7 L 25 Damien Gayle @damiengayle - 2h Lol I'm a reporter with the Guardian 9 15 286 Damien Gayle @damiengayle 2h So I guess you can use it 2 273 67 go >

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

All the same person

Sprint LTE 11:40 PM 83% 7 Sprint LTE 11:40 PM 1 83% 7 Tweet Tweet Y are these women all light skin? Cause all these "women" are me???????????? 1h Patiently waiting for carnival like Y are these women all light skin? ill View Tweet activity 2 Retweets 9 Likes 27 12m

Sprint LTE 11:40 PM 83% 7 Sprint LTE 11:40 PM 1 83% 7 Tweet Tweet Y are these women all light skin? Cause all these "women" are me???????????? 1h Patiently waiting for carnival like Y are these women all light skin? ill View Tweet activity 2 Retweets 9 Likes 27 12m

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

She did

Dr. Nicole Baldwin @NicoleB_MD Jan 11 Tried my hand at #Tiktok - this one struck a nerve. #Vaccinate YourKids #Vaccines Work #somedocs 0:14 1.1M views 536 121.9K 45.5K French Ed @1989Eddy Replying to @NicoleB_MD Educate yourself woman 2:21 PM Jan 12, 2020 Twitter for iPhone 3 Likes 23 Dr. Nicole Baldwin @NicoleB_MD 13h Replying to @1989Eddy ↑ I did. Thanks. 4 years of college. 4 years of medical school. 3 years of pediatric residency. 13 years of clinical practice. 6 14 103

Dr. Nicole Baldwin @NicoleB_MD Jan 11 Tried my hand at #Tiktok - this one struck a nerve. #Vaccinate YourKids #Vaccines Work #somedocs 0:14 1.1M views 536 121.9K 45.5K French Ed @1989Eddy Replying to @NicoleB_MD Educate yourself woman 2:21 PM Jan 12, 2020 Twitter for iPhone 3 Likes 23 Dr. Nicole Baldwin @NicoleB_MD 13h Replying to @1989Eddy ↑ I did. Thanks. 4 years of college. 4 years of medical school. 3 years of pediatric residency. 13 years of clinical practice. 6 14 103

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

Ah...

Banana Sunset @BananaSunset I asked some guy last night if he was a soccer fan or just came to the Austin FC game cuz it was the place to be. His response "Do you know the men's national team? I'm the coach" • • 11:02 PM 6/20/21 Twitter Web App 93 Retweets 32 Quote Tweets 1,338 Likes

Banana Sunset @BananaSunset I asked some guy last night if he was a soccer fan or just came to the Austin FC game cuz it was the place to be. His response "Do you know the men's national team? I'm the coach" • • 11:02 PM 6/20/21 Twitter Web App 93 Retweets 32 Quote Tweets 1,338 Likes

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

Twitter doctor tries to argue about a player's injury with the player's dad

Tazim Wajid Wajed @NFLHitman33.21h FYI, it WAS NOT a high ankle sprain. That was just what they initially thought it was. He's pacing to expectation for what he has! Jesse Morse, MD @DrJesseMorse. 22h I am genuinely surprised that Christian Watson was able to practice today. There is a possibility he returns in Week 6 but limit your expectations for him. x.com/drjessemorse/s... 27 1317 537 ill 96K @DrJesseMorse. 21h Jesse Morse, MD I watched the video, yes, it was 11 1 ill 9K Tazim Wajid Wajed @NFLHitman33 - 21h So you think watching a video precludes the actual MRI and the doctors reading it? 3 23 122 Il 9.2K @DrJesseMorse. 21h Jesse Morse, MD "Tazim" i've been doing this since 2017 I'm very good at what I do, with about an 85 to 90% accuracy just based off video I know every single QB, RB, WR, TE's injury history. I'm confident in my abilities Take care 28 134 1 11K Tazim Wajid Wajed @NFLHitman33 Well if you want to keep on spreading misinformation IN THIS CASE, based upon your 85-90% accuracy on "video diagnosis" then have at it. I'm telling you he had a medial sprain, NOT a high ankle sprain. That diagnosis didn't come from watching a video. It literally came from the doctors who examined him and read x-rays and MRI's, then preceded to treat him. I'm done... Do with it what you will! 2:29 PM - Oct 9, 2024 - 12.5K Views 6 132 130 ☐ 2 1

Tazim Wajid Wajed @NFLHitman33.21h FYI, it WAS NOT a high ankle sprain. That was just what they initially thought it was. He's pacing to expectation for what he has! Jesse Morse, MD @DrJesseMorse. 22h I am genuinely surprised that Christian Watson was able to practice today. There is a possibility he returns in Week 6 but limit your expectations for him. x.com/drjessemorse/s... 27 1317 537 ill 96K @DrJesseMorse. 21h Jesse Morse, MD I watched the video, yes, it was 11 1 ill 9K Tazim Wajid Wajed @NFLHitman33 - 21h So you think watching a video precludes the actual MRI and the doctors reading it? 3 23 122 Il 9.2K @DrJesseMorse. 21h Jesse Morse, MD "Tazim" i've been doing this since 2017 I'm very good at what I do, with about an 85 to 90% accuracy just based off video I know every single QB, RB, WR, TE's injury history. I'm confident in my abilities Take care 28 134 1 11K Tazim Wajid Wajed @NFLHitman33 Well if you want to keep on spreading misinformation IN THIS CASE, based upon your 85-90% accuracy on "video diagnosis" then have at it. I'm telling you he had a medial sprain, NOT a high ankle sprain. That diagnosis didn't come from watching a video. It literally came from the doctors who examined him and read x-rays and MRI's, then preceded to treat him. I'm done... Do with it what you will! 2:29 PM - Oct 9, 2024 - 12.5K Views 6 132 130 ☐ 2 1

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam

He practically is Spider-Man

Ok one: Your suggestions of jokes he should make has already been met, plenty of times. Two: And this is just for my own curiosity's sake, but have you read a full series of Spider-Man comics or watched a full Spider-Man tv series? 1 Dan Slott ✔ @DanSlott 22 Replying to @AssassinoJaxon and @JL_TheFlash I've been the consulting producer on multiple years of a Spider-Man TV show. I've written & been a consultant on multiple best-selling Spider-Man video games. And I've written more issues of THE AMAZING SPIDER- MAN than any other human who has walked on the surface of this Earth. 4:40 AM - Aug 16, 2020 Twitter Web App ill View Tweet activity 27

Ok one: Your suggestions of jokes he should make has already been met, plenty of times. Two: And this is just for my own curiosity's sake, but have you read a full series of Spider-Man comics or watched a full Spider-Man tv series? 1 Dan Slott ✔ @DanSlott 22 Replying to @AssassinoJaxon and @JL_TheFlash I've been the consulting producer on multiple years of a Spider-Man TV show. I've written & been a consultant on multiple best-selling Spider-Man video games. And I've written more issues of THE AMAZING SPIDER- MAN than any other human who has walked on the surface of this Earth. 4:40 AM - Aug 16, 2020 Twitter Web App ill View Tweet activity 27

don't you know who i am /r/dontyouknowwhoiam