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DAI @DAIZAHDAIZ 1d yall my foot is stuck in the door at lodges can someone please open the door 689 27 10.9K 58.5K Jitta, @TheJitNextDoor I wouldve been on the other side lickin yo toes but das just me

DAI @DAIZAHDAIZ 1d yall my foot is stuck in the door at lodges can someone please open the door 689 27 10.9K 58.5K Jitta, @TheJitNextDoor I wouldve been on the other side lickin yo toes but das just me

toes feet stuck

tire talk

Madison @madisonbosil A REAL CONVERSATION I HEARD BETWEEN TWO GROWN MEN AT TIRES PLUS: Man #1: *getting ready to pay* Is it a swipey swipe Man #2: No it's a chippy chip

Madison @madisonbosil A REAL CONVERSATION I HEARD BETWEEN TWO GROWN MEN AT TIRES PLUS: Man #1: *getting ready to pay* Is it a swipey swipe Man #2: No it's a chippy chip

tires funny tweet

So relatable Charlie

Alyssa Phillips @Plant_Phillips Even the most famous scientists have rough weeks. Charles Darwin, for example: "But I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything." an leg pon tieything

Alyssa Phillips @Plant_Phillips Even the most famous scientists have rough weeks. Charles Darwin, for example: "But I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything." an leg pon tieything

charles darwin funny tweet i am very poorly today and very stupid rough week bad day

This is what hot yoga is all about

Вoog @BoogTweets Me: *Holding a fist full of lit sparklers* How much for the aggressive incense?

Вoog @BoogTweets Me: *Holding a fist full of lit sparklers* How much for the aggressive incense?

funny tweet aggressive incense sparklers

competitive t-shirt eating

Jon @ArfMeasures Me *swallowing 4th wet t-shirt* this contest is hard 17:15 · 31 May 19 · Twitter for Android

Jon @ArfMeasures Me *swallowing 4th wet t-shirt* this contest is hard 17:15 · 31 May 19 · Twitter for Android

wet t-shirt contest misunderstanding

Uncanny

Steve Harvey @SteveHarvey stop sending me this s---

Steve Harvey @SteveHarvey stop sending me this s---

steve harvey mr. potato head

how poetic

i use to watch overwatch p--- after a match of the game as a way to cope with my losses, basically imagining myself hate f------ the characters i played against 3:30 PM · 4/15/21 · Twitter for iPhone

i use to watch overwatch p--- after a match of the game as a way to cope with my losses, basically imagining myself hate f------ the characters i played against 3:30 PM · 4/15/21 · Twitter for iPhone

gaming overwatch dafuk coping gamer hate

v confusing

Genuine question do straight guys like hot women or not Dyme @CryptoParadyme 4d The state of @Twitch yes that's a girl indoors in a tub wearing lingerie doing tarot cards Show this thread Teday's Sub Goal 300 264 Today's Foitawer Goat 11766 12000 m A CEAT OLY F--- LOOR AT DOE FUCING BUNYS $10/Tier 2 Sub Fortune told $20/4 Subs Read a bible verse for you $25/5 Subs Name on Board $50 /10 Subs Name on Body $100/ 20 Subs Your balloon in tub $500/ 100 Subs Name on Forehead Latest Tip: shinkYpikagav 55 st Sub fame half Session top tipper, shinkypikag $75 INDIEFOXX TV 9:29 pm 18 Apr 21 · Twitter for iPhone

Genuine question do straight guys like hot women or not Dyme @CryptoParadyme 4d The state of @Twitch yes that's a girl indoors in a tub wearing lingerie doing tarot cards Show this thread Teday's Sub Goal 300 264 Today's Foitawer Goat 11766 12000 m A CEAT OLY F--- LOOR AT DOE FUCING BUNYS $10/Tier 2 Sub Fortune told $20/4 Subs Read a bible verse for you $25/5 Subs Name on Board $50 /10 Subs Name on Body $100/ 20 Subs Your balloon in tub $500/ 100 Subs Name on Forehead Latest Tip: shinkYpikagav 55 st Sub fame half Session top tipper, shinkypikag $75 INDIEFOXX TV 9:29 pm 18 Apr 21 · Twitter for iPhone

twitch funny tweet hot girl

Okay but imagine the other way around

Alenora @spunkyturnip Imagine if your dad was a Minotaur and your mom was a Mermaid and you got the human half of both and now you're just some guy

Alenora @spunkyturnip Imagine if your dad was a Minotaur and your mom was a Mermaid and you got the human half of both and now you're just some guy

funny tweet minotaur mermaid just some guy human fantasy

Wait, that's nicer than I expected

Kaitlyn Greenidge @surlybassey My husband is in his first year of teaching elementary school math. Every night he comes home, takes a long swig of soda water, stares into the middle distance and says, "The amount of cuteness I see on a daily basis...you just can't fathom it, Kaitlyn"

Kaitlyn Greenidge @surlybassey My husband is in his first year of teaching elementary school math. Every night he comes home, takes a long swig of soda water, stares into the middle distance and says, "The amount of cuteness I see on a daily basis...you just can't fathom it, Kaitlyn"

funny tweet children kids cute kids teacher teaching

first date idea: i throw your keys off a cliff

phage @clubmoss first date idea: i throw your keys off a cliff 12:49 PM · Apr 20, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

phage @clubmoss first date idea: i throw your keys off a cliff 12:49 PM · Apr 20, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

sorry i only flossed 3 times since my last appointment and the most recent one was this morning

MehGyver @TheAndrewNadeau DENTIST: When I poke the most tender part of your mouth with a sharp instrument it bleeds and that's your fault. ME:I am so sorry.

MehGyver @TheAndrewNadeau DENTIST: When I poke the most tender part of your mouth with a sharp instrument it bleeds and that's your fault. ME:I am so sorry.

dentist dentistry floss flossing dental floss bleeding gums

Almost

MuminBits @MuminBits My kid took off his wellies and snowsuit in one seamless move then left it all on the floor. I walked in the room and almost went into cardiac arrest.

MuminBits @MuminBits My kid took off his wellies and snowsuit in one seamless move then left it all on the floor. I walked in the room and almost went into cardiac arrest.

twitter wellies son

workout gear

Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp Me buying workout gear: this will be perfect for working out Me wearing workout gear: this will be perfect for sitting

Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp Me buying workout gear: this will be perfect for working out Me wearing workout gear: this will be perfect for sitting

working out exercise lazy procrastination

Oink oink

oatmeal influencer @acechhh i love contactless delivery they just throw the slop at your door and i run out like a little pig

oatmeal influencer @acechhh i love contactless delivery they just throw the slop at your door and i run out like a little pig

funny tweet delivery package contactless pig run out

Deliver us

Couchy B @AtCouchyB One time in a church bathroom I heard the woman in the stall next to me grunt then say "thank you Jesus" II I think about that a lot. 10:01 AM · 11/22/20 · Twitter for Android

Couchy B @AtCouchyB One time in a church bathroom I heard the woman in the stall next to me grunt then say "thank you Jesus" II I think about that a lot. 10:01 AM · 11/22/20 · Twitter for Android

funny tweet thank you jesus bathroom church blessing