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I am not above the law

Lord Hugh Mungus @PoodleSnarf I knocked over a plant in the kitchen but my cat saw me so I had to spray myself with water so I could show the law applies to everyone
Lord Hugh Mungus @PoodleSnarf I knocked over a plant in the kitchen but my cat saw me so I had to spray myself with water so I could show the law applies to everyone

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Where is my mom?

6 year old me A woman with the same height and hair as my mom
6 year old me A woman with the same height and hair as my mom

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They're not twins

Whenever I use brackets: Left bracket Right bracket
Whenever I use brackets: Left bracket Right bracket

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This is life

a Follow @abiodunladokun Okay, it's 10 AM on Sunday already. Next thing you know, it's 2 PM, then 8 PM, then suddenly it's 7 AM on Monday, and we're back to work. What kind of life is this? 13:27.09 Feb 25 · 1.3M Views 11.2K Reposts 569 Quotes 65.6K Likes 1,647 Bookmarks
a Follow @abiodunladokun Okay, it's 10 AM on Sunday already. Next thing you know, it's 2 PM, then 8 PM, then suddenly it's 7 AM on Monday, and we're back to work. What kind of life is this? 13:27.09 Feb 25 · 1.3M Views 11.2K Reposts 569 Quotes 65.6K Likes 1,647 Bookmarks

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Nothing is ever perfect

@drugrift putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education which affects my mental health which effects my education 6:05 PM 1/25/19 31.7K Retweets 101K Likes 27
@drugrift putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education which affects my mental health which effects my education 6:05 PM 1/25/19 31.7K Retweets 101K Likes 27

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Current mood

23 Kim K. @kimk@tech.lgbt in Norway, "up and not crying" is a not uncommon response to "how's it going" type questions, and I feel like that's a very reasonable standard to hold oneself to especially nowadays
23 Kim K. @kimk@tech.lgbt in Norway, "up and not crying" is a not uncommon response to "how's it going" type questions, and I feel like that's a very reasonable standard to hold oneself to especially nowadays

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Would you?

Amy Colleen @sewistwrites "I'd catch a grenade for y--" Cool. Would you do the dishes without needing to be asked though
Amy Colleen @sewistwrites "I'd catch a grenade for y--" Cool. Would you do the dishes without needing to be asked though

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It comes quick

Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman The problem with 10:30pm is that it comes exactly one minute before 2:30am if you're not careful.
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman The problem with 10:30pm is that it comes exactly one minute before 2:30am if you're not careful.

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Relationship problems

When she's in the other room waiting for you to apologize and she hears the Playstation beep
When she's in the other room waiting for you to apologize and she hears the Playstation beep

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Same thing

so cactus so owl @socactussoowl Someone in my Norwegian class didn't know the word for cowboys so called them 'American horse pirates' and I've been laughing about it for about an hour.
so cactus so owl @socactussoowl Someone in my Norwegian class didn't know the word for cowboys so called them 'American horse pirates' and I've been laughing about it for about an hour.

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Allowance

Adam @stfugt how much of an allowance did y'all get per week as a teen? kngarou @kngarou I was allowed to live there
Adam @stfugt how much of an allowance did y'all get per week as a teen? kngarou @kngarou I was allowed to live there

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Darn

kelly @BoyYeetsWorld Follow embarrassing performance from me in the TSA line just now. came in too confident, took the laptop out on a laptop in the bag day. gotta be flawless on the return trip back to recover from this one
kelly @BoyYeetsWorld Follow embarrassing performance from me in the TSA line just now. came in too confident, took the laptop out on a laptop in the bag day. gotta be flawless on the return trip back to recover from this one

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Show the puppy

Helen Davies @HelsinHashtags Student evals: Question "How could the instuctor have Improved the class?" Student Answer "Dr. Davies mentioned at the start of the semester that she got a new puppy and never shared a photo" You know, fair, honestly
Helen Davies @HelsinHashtags Student evals: Question "How could the instuctor have Improved the class?" Student Answer "Dr. Davies mentioned at the start of the semester that she got a new puppy and never shared a photo" You know, fair, honestly

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Where does it go?

Ross Sayers @Sayers33 It will forever be a mystery to me how the foil completely covers a full easter egg, you eat half, then the foil is somehow no longer big enough to even cover a half
Ross Sayers @Sayers33 It will forever be a mystery to me how the foil completely covers a full easter egg, you eat half, then the foil is somehow no longer big enough to even cover a half

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Well?

Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel once at a sleepover i asked my friend if she wanted a midnight snack and she said no because she wasn't hungry. no s---, i don't eat at midnight because i'm hungry, i eat because i'm empty inside. now would you like to have nachos with me or not rebecca
Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel once at a sleepover i asked my friend if she wanted a midnight snack and she said no because she wasn't hungry. no s---, i don't eat at midnight because i'm hungry, i eat because i'm empty inside. now would you like to have nachos with me or not rebecca

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How embarrassing

Rachel Bitecofer * @RachelBitecofer • 15h Who can't spell correspondent $$$$ Natalie Winters @nataliegwinters • 20h War Room White House Corespondent ESCORT REQUIRED ER APPOINTMENT 2K 127K 109K ılı 3.6M ☐ %
Rachel Bitecofer * @RachelBitecofer • 15h Who can't spell correspondent $$$$ Natalie Winters @nataliegwinters • 20h War Room White House Corespondent ESCORT REQUIRED ER APPOINTMENT 2K 127K 109K ılı 3.6M ☐ %

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