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Dang...

@alanadimario.bsky.social @AlanaDimario Follow Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." 10:51 PM - Jun 20, 2022 from Narragansett, RI
@alanadimario.bsky.social @AlanaDimario Follow Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." 10:51 PM - Jun 20, 2022 from Narragansett, RI

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

She gets it

Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan Follow My niece Phoebe (2.5) has been talking about a "mermaid store" for weeks, to everyone's befuddlement. Finally last week she points and yells in the car, "MERMAID STORE, MERMAID STORE"!!" 12:40 PM - 11/21/24 - 289K Views 22 17263 11K 339 ↑ Most relevant replies ✓ Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan .7h Reader, this was the mermaid store Clearance 14'5 3.$69 99 7-ELEVEN Regular 35 Mare
Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan Follow My niece Phoebe (2.5) has been talking about a "mermaid store" for weeks, to everyone's befuddlement. Finally last week she points and yells in the car, "MERMAID STORE, MERMAID STORE"!!" 12:40 PM - 11/21/24 - 289K Views 22 17263 11K 339 ↑ Most relevant replies ✓ Jenn Jordan (she/her) @jennlynnjordan .7h Reader, this was the mermaid store Clearance 14'5 3.$69 99 7-ELEVEN Regular 35 Mare

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

Thanks, kid

Mom Jeans @momjeansplease Follow My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Is it because of your hair?" Now I'm crying for two reasons. 10:03 PM 17 Nov 24 2.8M Views • 8,082 Reposts 989 Quotes 152K Likes 2,975 Bookmarks
Mom Jeans @momjeansplease Follow My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Is it because of your hair?" Now I'm crying for two reasons. 10:03 PM 17 Nov 24 2.8M Views • 8,082 Reposts 989 Quotes 152K Likes 2,975 Bookmarks

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madlads mad lads /r/madlads

Something nice

No Context Brits @NoContextBrits 3d Say something nice about the UK. 8,766 113.3K 7,332 Arup Roychoudhury → @aruproytweets Replying to @NoContextBrits You guys created the largest number of independance days around the world. 8:15 pm 22 Mar 22 Twitter for Android .
No Context Brits @NoContextBrits 3d Say something nice about the UK. 8,766 113.3K 7,332 Arup Roychoudhury → @aruproytweets Replying to @NoContextBrits You guys created the largest number of independance days around the world. 8:15 pm 22 Mar 22 Twitter for Android .

Twitter / X
madlads mad lads /r/madlads

Sometimes dads just know

ilaapx Follow some girl just crashed into me and we both didn't know what to do so we called our dads and we're just standing here holding our phones together so our dads can talk to each other
ilaapx Follow some girl just crashed into me and we both didn't know what to do so we called our dads and we're just standing here holding our phones together so our dads can talk to each other

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madlads mad lads /r/madlads cars

I get it

coyote @literate_coyote I saw this girl in the train station doing the pspspsps sound to a subway rat and I have never felt closer to another stranger in my life
coyote @literate_coyote I saw this girl in the train station doing the pspspsps sound to a subway rat and I have never felt closer to another stranger in my life

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madlads mad lads /r/madlads

Kids...

Dad and Buried @DadandBuried Get married and have kids so instead of literally doing whatever you want all the time you can be forced to schedule every waking moment of your existence around ungrateful banshees who refuse to nap and won't stop eating your potato chips.
Dad and Buried @DadandBuried Get married and have kids so instead of literally doing whatever you want all the time you can be forced to schedule every waking moment of your existence around ungrateful banshees who refuse to nap and won't stop eating your potato chips.

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brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

Be the cow

Big Joel @biggestjoel May 1, 2020 where is my cow 2 173 bees 220 ili Follow @BeesAmFriends be the cow you want to own in the world
Big Joel @biggestjoel May 1, 2020 where is my cow 2 173 bees 220 ili Follow @BeesAmFriends be the cow you want to own in the world

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brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

A generational dumb guy

Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStrssng Follow Josh Allen plays the game like he has no concept of death and that every play might be the last thing he ever does on earth. A Generational talent. A generational dumb guy. He would've been a star slaying beasts in front of Rome 7:23 p.m. 17 Nov 24 120K Views •
Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStrssng Follow Josh Allen plays the game like he has no concept of death and that every play might be the last thing he ever does on earth. A Generational talent. A generational dumb guy. He would've been a star slaying beasts in front of Rome 7:23 p.m. 17 Nov 24 120K Views •

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brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence josh allen

This is all gibberish

jovarca broz @jovarca1000000 - 13h they're turning bulgarians into spaniards jay @MUNCHRIH. 2d His nose job is tea WELLNOSE CLINIC DR. OĞUZHAN OĞUZ 171 173.1K | 63.1K 2.6M □ ∞
jovarca broz @jovarca1000000 - 13h they're turning bulgarians into spaniards jay @MUNCHRIH. 2d His nose job is tea WELLNOSE CLINIC DR. OĞUZHAN OĞUZ 171 173.1K | 63.1K 2.6M □ ∞

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brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

Put them to work

Ante D. Luvian @uncle deluge - 13h You hear stories about monkeys/apes in the early 20th century that are like "He could operate a railroad switch, was paid in nuts, would know if you were ripping him off. He wore clothes and drank cognac. Someone swore they heard him talking" and then nothing for a hundred years 233 t 2.1K 51K ihil 1.6M Ante D. Luvian @uncle deluge - 13h Like I'm supposed to be impressed with a 21st century bonobo with a vocabulary of 10 words or something when a baboon was a licensed railroad operator in colonial South Africa and an orangutan was a Hollywood actor who had his own set of studio keys to come and go as he pleased 13 Ante D. Luvian @uncle_deluge 175 10K il 126K Follow Bigotry of low expectations. Monkeys are perfectly capable of being productive members of society and in fact should be put to work
Ante D. Luvian @uncle deluge - 13h You hear stories about monkeys/apes in the early 20th century that are like "He could operate a railroad switch, was paid in nuts, would know if you were ripping him off. He wore clothes and drank cognac. Someone swore they heard him talking" and then nothing for a hundred years 233 t 2.1K 51K ihil 1.6M Ante D. Luvian @uncle deluge - 13h Like I'm supposed to be impressed with a 21st century bonobo with a vocabulary of 10 words or something when a baboon was a licensed railroad operator in colonial South Africa and an orangutan was a Hollywood actor who had his own set of studio keys to come and go as he pleased 13 Ante D. Luvian @uncle_deluge 175 10K il 126K Follow Bigotry of low expectations. Monkeys are perfectly capable of being productive members of society and in fact should be put to work

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brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence animals science

Knock on those melons

thomas @thombodytolove i knock on the watermelon to see if it's ripe and hear a knock back. strange.. i cut it open. a small man dressed only in a t-shirt slides out. "thanks fella my fingers were gettin pruney" he somersaults away. the employees yell at me to pay for the melon. why. im a hero 2:55 am - 21 Jul 20 - Twitter for Android 791 Retweets and comments 7,345 Likes
thomas @thombodytolove i knock on the watermelon to see if it's ripe and hear a knock back. strange.. i cut it open. a small man dressed only in a t-shirt slides out. "thanks fella my fingers were gettin pruney" he somersaults away. the employees yell at me to pay for the melon. why. im a hero 2:55 am - 21 Jul 20 - Twitter for Android 791 Retweets and comments 7,345 Likes

Twitter / X
brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

It's an odd trend

Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog. 16h 000 I'm still on the fence on raw milk products. People who seem to believe in race science love raw cream and the people who believe in science prefer pasteurized products. Not sure if I folow this trend or not lauren @mercurygurl. 1d now THAT'S heavy cream TURN GRASSFED, RAW CREAM Min. crude protein 3%, Min. crude fat 3.2%, Guaranteed Analysis: Min. crude fiber 5%. Min. moisture 89.5% Ingredients: Unpasteurized Cream For intermittent feed use only for dogs and cats. NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION Grazier's Harvest Dairy 4373 W 300 N | Delphi, IN 46923 1 Pint (437ML)
Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog. 16h 000 I'm still on the fence on raw milk products. People who seem to believe in race science love raw cream and the people who believe in science prefer pasteurized products. Not sure if I folow this trend or not lauren @mercurygurl. 1d now THAT'S heavy cream TURN GRASSFED, RAW CREAM Min. crude protein 3%, Min. crude fat 3.2%, Guaranteed Analysis: Min. crude fiber 5%. Min. moisture 89.5% Ingredients: Unpasteurized Cream For intermittent feed use only for dogs and cats. NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION Grazier's Harvest Dairy 4373 W 300 N | Delphi, IN 46923 1 Pint (437ML)

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brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

Like, bro

wahda ta3bana @daymanmankoosha still beyond me that Americans sometimes will act shocked that Middle Easterners can be Christians...bro it was Jesus of Nazareth not Jesus of New Jersey how is this news 7:26 am 25/12/20⚫ Twitter Web App •
wahda ta3bana @daymanmankoosha still beyond me that Americans sometimes will act shocked that Middle Easterners can be Christians...bro it was Jesus of Nazareth not Jesus of New Jersey how is this news 7:26 am 25/12/20⚫ Twitter Web App •

Twitter / X
brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

Sigh...

Katie @ALadyNamed Katie Follow The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you • 9:29 PM Nov 17, 2024 105.6K Views
Katie @ALadyNamed Katie Follow The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you • 9:29 PM Nov 17, 2024 105.6K Views

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/r/cursedcomments cursed comments cursed insane comments comment sections

flattering, but frightening.

Hey dude I love your art I eat good artists @novuuuuuuuuuuuu
Hey dude I love your art I eat good artists @novuuuuuuuuuuuu

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twitter dms

What a guy

@ 1/2 of all caius ballad fa... @princessxemnas this dude on masterchef looks like dante and it's making me lose it LESLIE • 11:48 AM · Mar 3, 2021 Twitter Web App www
@ 1/2 of all caius ballad fa... @princessxemnas this dude on masterchef looks like dante and it's making me lose it LESLIE • 11:48 AM · Mar 3, 2021 Twitter Web App www

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boss fight /r/bossfight boss battle bosses final boss

YOU said that

Mail Online Daily Mail Online >> @MailOnline Follow Simone Biles flaunts her Birkins, Range Rover and Texas mansion - but the $25million Olympic gymnast has given no hand outs to her penniless birth mom who works as a cashier to make ends meet trib.al/wKbaCL5 RANGE R Readers added context they thought people might want to know Her Mom abandoned her. Source: Literally You dailymail.co.uk/sport/olympics...
Mail Online Daily Mail Online >> @MailOnline Follow Simone Biles flaunts her Birkins, Range Rover and Texas mansion - but the $25million Olympic gymnast has given no hand outs to her penniless birth mom who works as a cashier to make ends meet trib.al/wKbaCL5 RANGE R Readers added context they thought people might want to know Her Mom abandoned her. Source: Literally You dailymail.co.uk/sport/olympics...

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murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks simone biles

Look inwards

Replying to @MoonPie Your time is wasted managing a social media account Bloon Pic MoonPie @MoonPie Buddy it's saturday night and you're talking to a marshmallow sandwich on the internet C
Replying to @MoonPie Your time is wasted managing a social media account Bloon Pic MoonPie @MoonPie Buddy it's saturday night and you're talking to a marshmallow sandwich on the internet C

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murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks

It's kind of insane when you think about it

REGIONS Regions Bank @askRegions Don't let the price tag of the wedding give you cold feet. There are multiple ways to finance your big day, like taking out a personal loan. >> goo.gl/95qQZM phoenix calida is bearly black @uppittynegress Hey millennials, can we kill the wedding industry next? Don't go into debt for 25 years for a f party and a dress
REGIONS Regions Bank @askRegions Don't let the price tag of the wedding give you cold feet. There are multiple ways to finance your big day, like taking out a personal loan. >> goo.gl/95qQZM phoenix calida is bearly black @uppittynegress Hey millennials, can we kill the wedding industry next? Don't go into debt for 25 years for a f party and a dress

Twitter / X
murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks weddings millennials