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True crime

Katie D @Katie Deal99 . Follow X My daughter told her teacher that I love murder but forgot to include the TV SHOWS part so our next meeting should be fun

Katie D @Katie Deal99 . Follow X My daughter told her teacher that I love murder but forgot to include the TV SHOWS part so our next meeting should be fun

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So nice!

That Mom Tho @mom_tho Follow • X my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said "i am your mom" and she said "but like, a cool young fun mom" im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that

That Mom Tho @mom_tho Follow • X my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said "i am your mom" and she said "but like, a cool young fun mom" im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that

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They don't know what they're doing

Mandalynns23 @mandalynns23 We told my 4yr old I was pregnant and she was NOT happy about it. After she cried in her bed she came downstairs hands on hips and asked in the most accusatory tone "And where exactly is this new baby gonna sleep?" like we were two teens who hadn't thought this pregnancy through

Mandalynns23 @mandalynns23 We told my 4yr old I was pregnant and she was NOT happy about it. After she cried in her bed she came downstairs hands on hips and asked in the most accusatory tone "And where exactly is this new baby gonna sleep?" like we were two teens who hadn't thought this pregnancy through

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Sounds about right

James Breakwell, Exploding Uni... @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Me: What? 4: I don't remember.

James Breakwell, Exploding Uni... @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Me: What? 4: I don't remember.

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Grocery shopping things

69 Dicola Rada Ricola Ricols Clix Cicol D 48 cola Ricola colo Nicols Ri Nicol cola Rixty Ashley Parker ❤ @AshleyRParker Follow Sunday morning trip to the grocery store. Classic of the genre. 9:26 PM 24 Nov 24 84.2K Views • • 6 SERVICE

69 Dicola Rada Ricola Ricols Clix Cicol D 48 cola Ricola colo Nicols Ri Nicol cola Rixty Ashley Parker ❤ @AshleyRParker Follow Sunday morning trip to the grocery store. Classic of the genre. 9:26 PM 24 Nov 24 84.2K Views • • 6 SERVICE

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Baby names

Stephanie Insley Hershinow @S_Insley_H Follow 5yo; "Mommy, I think when I grow up, I might change my name to a grownup name because my name is a little kid's name. Maybe I'll use my middle name. My name is such a baby name! I want a grown up name when I'm a grown up." Reader, his name is HARVEY. 3:39 PM - May 3, 2023 1.5M Views 202 33K 296 go

Stephanie Insley Hershinow @S_Insley_H Follow 5yo; "Mommy, I think when I grow up, I might change my name to a grownup name because my name is a little kid's name. Maybe I'll use my middle name. My name is such a baby name! I want a grown up name when I'm a grown up." Reader, his name is HARVEY. 3:39 PM - May 3, 2023 1.5M Views 202 33K 296 go

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What an odd concept

It's Sheena @Tendin2 Follow I went boohooing to my mom and Jax was like "why were you crying on Grandma like that?" | had to explain how like when he wants to cuddle when he is upset and he was like "She's like your ...mom?" 1:12 AM Feb 29, 2024 1.7M Views • • 179 2.5K 52K 1.4K 80

It's Sheena @Tendin2 Follow I went boohooing to my mom and Jax was like "why were you crying on Grandma like that?" | had to explain how like when he wants to cuddle when he is upset and he was like "She's like your ...mom?" 1:12 AM Feb 29, 2024 1.7M Views • • 179 2.5K 52K 1.4K 80

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Very creative

Alix E. Harrow @AlixEHarrow having been told that it's rude to call dinner "gross," our 4yo is finding increasingly creative ways to express himself "this tastes........unlucky to me" "this sends my mouth into outer space. (that's bad)" "cauliflower is"--[pinches fingers together]--"this much delicious" 7:48 AM 1/21/21 Twitter Web App

Alix E. Harrow @AlixEHarrow having been told that it's rude to call dinner "gross," our 4yo is finding increasingly creative ways to express himself "this tastes........unlucky to me" "this sends my mouth into outer space. (that's bad)" "cauliflower is"--[pinches fingers together]--"this much delicious" 7:48 AM 1/21/21 Twitter Web App

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Rat for scale

sarah @sarahradz Follow My 9yo on holding a very new baby: "she is so cute... the size of four rats • 11 9:49 PM - Sep 3, 2024 157K Views 25 317 7.3K 129 80

sarah @sarahradz Follow My 9yo on holding a very new baby: "she is so cute... the size of four rats • 11 9:49 PM - Sep 3, 2024 157K Views 25 317 7.3K 129 80

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Makes more sense

Brianne M. Kohl @BrianneKohl Follow My 8yo daughter met a girl at summer camp last year named "Internet." I said no way, that can't be her name but my daughter has been adamant. For almost a year we've been having this discussion. ANTOINETTE. I just found out her name is Antoinette. 3:20 PM Mar 18, 2022 6.1K 1788K 801K 13K go

Brianne M. Kohl @BrianneKohl Follow My 8yo daughter met a girl at summer camp last year named "Internet." I said no way, that can't be her name but my daughter has been adamant. For almost a year we've been having this discussion. ANTOINETTE. I just found out her name is Antoinette. 3:20 PM Mar 18, 2022 6.1K 1788K 801K 13K go

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Let him cook

Joey D'Arcy @JoeyDarcyy Was on the bus the other day and two kids about 10 were in front of me. One of them said that his parents won't let him get a dog so he used to stare at the sun to try make himself blind so he could get a guide dog. No doubt he was waffling but you have to admire his imagination

Joey D'Arcy @JoeyDarcyy Was on the bus the other day and two kids about 10 were in front of me. One of them said that his parents won't let him get a dog so he used to stare at the sun to try make himself blind so he could get a guide dog. No doubt he was waffling but you have to admire his imagination

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Give them back

cur Follow @mommatofour_ My 3 year old told me that when she was in my belly, she had toys to play with....and the toys are still in there. So that's terrible news. . 6:37 AM · Aug 7, 2024 6.7M Views 209 t 3.3K 108K 1.7K 80

cur Follow @mommatofour_ My 3 year old told me that when she was in my belly, she had toys to play with....and the toys are still in there. So that's terrible news. . 6:37 AM · Aug 7, 2024 6.7M Views 209 t 3.3K 108K 1.7K 80

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It's a good sticker

pettibone @christmasearwig my six year old just made this bumper sticker for me HA I HIT OTHER CARS ON PURPOSE FOR FUN

pettibone @christmasearwig my six year old just made this bumper sticker for me HA I HIT OTHER CARS ON PURPOSE FOR FUN

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Yeah, why?

Lil Bit @LizerReal Follow There's an ambulance outside as we walk into a store, and when my husband says that someone must be sick or hurt, my 7yo loudly proclaims, "BUT WHY would they bring them to Walmart?!" O 6:19 PM Feb 20, 2024 42.8K Views 46 111 1.5K 20 20 80

Lil Bit @LizerReal Follow There's an ambulance outside as we walk into a store, and when my husband says that someone must be sick or hurt, my 7yo loudly proclaims, "BUT WHY would they bring them to Walmart?!" O 6:19 PM Feb 20, 2024 42.8K Views 46 111 1.5K 20 20 80

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Legendary

Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface Parents need to get better at teaching. their kids that swear words aren't actually bad they're just only appropriate in certain contexts, this 9yo girl at the grocery store just held up a bag of cauliflower rice and said "WHAT THE F IS THIS" and she deserves a fi g Oscar

Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface Parents need to get better at teaching. their kids that swear words aren't actually bad they're just only appropriate in certain contexts, this 9yo girl at the grocery store just held up a bag of cauliflower rice and said "WHAT THE F IS THIS" and she deserves a fi g Oscar

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Come on...

THUG LI Goats? @Gooooats Being a parent sometimes means a frantic effort to get your kid breakfasted, dressed, and in the car, only to pull up to the school's drop off zone two minutes before school starts and have them say, "But I'm not wearing any shoes."

THUG LI Goats? @Gooooats Being a parent sometimes means a frantic effort to get your kid breakfasted, dressed, and in the car, only to pull up to the school's drop off zone two minutes before school starts and have them say, "But I'm not wearing any shoes."

kids are stupid kids children dumb kids