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Ah... family...

Peter Twinklage @PeterTwinklage - Nov 15 7 kids from 3 different women—all of whom he cheated on family values+ Andrew Quackson @AndrewQuackson - Nov 13 New secdef. I am so ready 47
Peter Twinklage @PeterTwinklage - Nov 15 7 kids from 3 different women—all of whom he cheated on family values+ Andrew Quackson @AndrewQuackson - Nov 13 New secdef. I am so ready 47

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How interesting...

greg Subscribe @greg16676935420 So you're telling me the government can fail 7 straight audits, but if I send my friend $19 on venmo I have 87,000 IRS agents watching me? Watcher.Guru @WatcherGuru. 10h JUST IN: Pentagon unable to account for $824 billion budget, failing its 7th consecutive financial audit. 12:36 AM 17 Nov 24 1.5M Views O 6,274 Reposts 115 Quotes 58.8K Likes 628 Bookmarks
greg Subscribe @greg16676935420 So you're telling me the government can fail 7 straight audits, but if I send my friend $19 on venmo I have 87,000 IRS agents watching me? Watcher.Guru @WatcherGuru. 10h JUST IN: Pentagon unable to account for $824 billion budget, failing its 7th consecutive financial audit. 12:36 AM 17 Nov 24 1.5M Views O 6,274 Reposts 115 Quotes 58.8K Likes 628 Bookmarks

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murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks america

Oof

Pastor John Hagee @PastorJo.... 11/09/22 The only marriages God will ever recognize is between a man and a woman. 13K 2.8K 9.1K تبار Olivia Julianna @Oliviajulianna Apparently you didn't recognize its value considering you cheated on your wife. 6:00 AM 12/09/22 O 706 Follow 2.9K 38K ☐ 57 <]
Pastor John Hagee @PastorJo.... 11/09/22 The only marriages God will ever recognize is between a man and a woman. 13K 2.8K 9.1K تبار Olivia Julianna @Oliviajulianna Apparently you didn't recognize its value considering you cheated on your wife. 6:00 AM 12/09/22 O 706 Follow 2.9K 38K ☐ 57 <]

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murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks

Ah yes...

ABL A Better Left @abetterleft.com Ah, yes, the free market. Where billionaires get bailouts for tanking the economy, corporations hoard profits while cutting wages, and CEOs give themselves raises after laying off thousands. But sure, tell the single mom working three jobs to "just work harder". libertarianism.bsky.social @libertarianism.bsky.social .7m If workers want better pay, they should just work harder. That's how the free market works.
ABL A Better Left @abetterleft.com Ah, yes, the free market. Where billionaires get bailouts for tanking the economy, corporations hoard profits while cutting wages, and CEOs give themselves raises after laying off thousands. But sure, tell the single mom working three jobs to "just work harder". libertarianism.bsky.social @libertarianism.bsky.social .7m If workers want better pay, they should just work harder. That's how the free market works.

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murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks

Hmmm...

Matt Wallace @MattWallace888 Elon Musk is going to put Apple out of Business! slate @PleaseBeGneiss did he buy it
Matt Wallace @MattWallace888 Elon Musk is going to put Apple out of Business! slate @PleaseBeGneiss did he buy it

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So real

Sarah York @thesarahyork - Nov 12 Boomers sitting in their paid off 4-bedroom homes in the suburbs while their kids drown in debt and a skyrocketed cost of living watching winter rapidly disappear: "But what about what WE want → Misha Saul @misha_saul - Nov 12 Good on NYT for publishing this. Real. Very sad. The New York Times The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent A growing number of Americans are choosing not to have children. Their parents are grappling with what that means for them.
Sarah York @thesarahyork - Nov 12 Boomers sitting in their paid off 4-bedroom homes in the suburbs while their kids drown in debt and a skyrocketed cost of living watching winter rapidly disappear: "But what about what WE want → Misha Saul @misha_saul - Nov 12 Good on NYT for publishing this. Real. Very sad. The New York Times The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent A growing number of Americans are choosing not to have children. Their parents are grappling with what that means for them.

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murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks boomers millennials

It's true

bryan @bryanyang How come cashiers at 24/7 McDonald's can de-escalate situations better than cops Janette (she/her) @JanetteKirchner Because we get fired if we don't.
bryan @bryanyang How come cashiers at 24/7 McDonald's can de-escalate situations better than cops Janette (she/her) @JanetteKirchner Because we get fired if we don't.

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What goes around...

@TSpain21 Replying to @MissJLomax My son at 16 bedtime is 9, he has no phone and no internet access without a parent sitting in the room. Then it is limited to an hr max. There are parental passcodes on the TVs and he can only watch certain TV programs. brady @lackofsmiles. 9h Replying to @TSpain21 and @MissJLomax Crazy that those are gonna be the exact rules you follow in the nursing home
@TSpain21 Replying to @MissJLomax My son at 16 bedtime is 9, he has no phone and no internet access without a parent sitting in the room. Then it is limited to an hr max. There are parental passcodes on the TVs and he can only watch certain TV programs. brady @lackofsmiles. 9h Replying to @TSpain21 and @MissJLomax Crazy that those are gonna be the exact rules you follow in the nursing home

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Sharing movies is always wholesome

Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer Follow I saw a promo for the new Gladiator movie and said to my husband, "That looks good. I wonder if I need to see the original first so I know what's going on." My husband jumped up and with his full outside voice said, "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN GLADIATOR?!?" 2.5 hrs later, credits rolling, I said, "That was so good. I bet it won a lot of awards." My husband, "It was nominated for 12 Academy Awards and won best picture, best actor, best costume, best visual effects, and best sound mixing. Ridley Scott was robbed of best director, but Steven Soderbergh won for Traffic, another all time great." Me, "I've never seen Traffic, what's it about?" My husband, "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN TRAFFIC?!"
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer Follow I saw a promo for the new Gladiator movie and said to my husband, "That looks good. I wonder if I need to see the original first so I know what's going on." My husband jumped up and with his full outside voice said, "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN GLADIATOR?!?" 2.5 hrs later, credits rolling, I said, "That was so good. I bet it won a lot of awards." My husband, "It was nominated for 12 Academy Awards and won best picture, best actor, best costume, best visual effects, and best sound mixing. Ridley Scott was robbed of best director, but Steven Soderbergh won for Traffic, another all time great." Me, "I've never seen Traffic, what's it about?" My husband, "YOU'VE NEVER SEEN TRAFFIC?!"

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made me smile /r/mademesmile wholesome blessed images wholesome images

Same

'ante @cornrowkin I hope this kid got an A DEFEND your answer. ANSWER SARGE I DONA KNOW HOW MUCH Longer We can HOLD THEM
'ante @cornrowkin I hope this kid got an A DEFEND your answer. ANSWER SARGE I DONA KNOW HOW MUCH Longer We can HOLD THEM

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made me smile /r/mademesmile wholesome blessed images wholesome images kids

What a guy

MM My Mixtapez @mymixtapez Follow Fat Joe refused to give up his autistic son, Joey, for adoption after his son's mother wanted to do so or she would walk away. Instead, Fat Joe and his family chose to raise him themselves 700 3:44 AM 17 Oct 24 2.4M Views • 5,527 Reposts 652 Quotes 100K Likes
MM My Mixtapez @mymixtapez Follow Fat Joe refused to give up his autistic son, Joey, for adoption after his son's mother wanted to do so or she would walk away. Instead, Fat Joe and his family chose to raise him themselves 700 3:44 AM 17 Oct 24 2.4M Views • 5,527 Reposts 652 Quotes 100K Likes

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made me smile /r/mademesmile wholesome blessed images wholesome images

Purse burgers

Kayla @kaylamellis_ my staff bought shake shack today since it's our last day on this rotation and there were extra burgers so I shoved 3 into my purse for later and now everyone is calling me "purse burgers" and I fear this nickname will follow me
Kayla @kaylamellis_ my staff bought shake shack today since it's our last day on this rotation and there were extra burgers so I shoved 3 into my purse for later and now everyone is calling me "purse burgers" and I fear this nickname will follow me

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This is insane

In Denmark they let young children learn through play...it's a pretty advanced practice and the Ed outcomes in make the USA look like troglodytes so maybe take it easy on the questioner. 30 1713 535 You're so advanced yet the USA could send 1 maybe 2 F-35's to take your little country away from you. Be careful who you insult, especially when you are weak and at our mercy. 78 17 33 17 ↑
In Denmark they let young children learn through play...it's a pretty advanced practice and the Ed outcomes in make the USA look like troglodytes so maybe take it easy on the questioner. 30 1713 535 You're so advanced yet the USA could send 1 maybe 2 F-35's to take your little country away from you. Be careful who you insult, especially when you are weak and at our mercy. 78 17 33 17 ↑

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/r/shitamericanssay america americans facepalm denmark

Bro's cooked

zach silberberg @zachsilberberg.bsky.s... 13h i wore this shirt to jury duty and the defense lawyer asked if it was true. that man's client is f MARTHA STEWART IS KRISTEN STEWART'S MOM TPHANT AMERICAN TOUR ALT
zach silberberg @zachsilberberg.bsky.s... 13h i wore this shirt to jury duty and the defense lawyer asked if it was true. that man's client is f MARTHA STEWART IS KRISTEN STEWART'S MOM TPHANT AMERICAN TOUR ALT

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They weren't ready

DiscussingFilm @Dis... 10 Min. • Denzel Washington reveals a gay kiss was cut from 'GLADIATOR 2' "I kissed a man in the film but they took it out, they cut it, I think they got chicken... I kissed a guy full on the lips and I guess they weren't ready for that yet." (Source: gayety.co/denzel-washing...) 92 17244 1,1K 1 42,3Ко
DiscussingFilm @Dis... 10 Min. • Denzel Washington reveals a gay kiss was cut from 'GLADIATOR 2' "I kissed a man in the film but they took it out, they cut it, I think they got chicken... I kissed a guy full on the lips and I guess they weren't ready for that yet." (Source: gayety.co/denzel-washing...) 92 17244 1,1K 1 42,3Ко

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Mood

awia @annoyingaria Follow First time in a Japanese taxi where old man is BLASTING rap songs Me in broken japanese: You like American songs?? Him : YES! You born in America? : no actually Canada : JJUUUUSSSTTINNN BIIIEEEBEERRRRR!!!!!!!! 7:21 AM - 10 Nov 24 1.4M Views . 8,196 Reposts 305 Quotes 140K Likes 3,199 Bookmarks
awia @annoyingaria Follow First time in a Japanese taxi where old man is BLASTING rap songs Me in broken japanese: You like American songs?? Him : YES! You born in America? : no actually Canada : JJUUUUSSSTTINNN BIIIEEEBEERRRRR!!!!!!!! 7:21 AM - 10 Nov 24 1.4M Views . 8,196 Reposts 305 Quotes 140K Likes 3,199 Bookmarks

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comedy heaven /r/comedyheaven memes justin bieber