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Knock on those melons

thomas @thombodytolove i knock on the watermelon to see if it's ripe and hear a knock back. strange.. i cut it open. a small man dressed only in a t-shirt slides out. "thanks fella my fingers were gettin pruney" he somersaults away. the employees yell at me to pay for the melon. why. im a hero 2:55 am - 21 Jul 20 - Twitter for Android 791 Retweets and comments 7,345 Likes

thomas @thombodytolove i knock on the watermelon to see if it's ripe and hear a knock back. strange.. i cut it open. a small man dressed only in a t-shirt slides out. "thanks fella my fingers were gettin pruney" he somersaults away. the employees yell at me to pay for the melon. why. im a hero 2:55 am - 21 Jul 20 - Twitter for Android 791 Retweets and comments 7,345 Likes

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

It's an odd trend

Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog. 16h 000 I'm still on the fence on raw milk products. People who seem to believe in race science love raw cream and the people who believe in science prefer pasteurized products. Not sure if I folow this trend or not lauren @mercurygurl. 1d now THAT'S heavy cream TURN GRASSFED, RAW CREAM Min. crude protein 3%, Min. crude fat 3.2%, Guaranteed Analysis: Min. crude fiber 5%. Min. moisture 89.5% Ingredients: Unpasteurized Cream For intermittent feed use only for dogs and cats. NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION Grazier's Harvest Dairy 4373 W 300 N | Delphi, IN 46923 1 Pint (437ML)

Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog. 16h 000 I'm still on the fence on raw milk products. People who seem to believe in race science love raw cream and the people who believe in science prefer pasteurized products. Not sure if I folow this trend or not lauren @mercurygurl. 1d now THAT'S heavy cream TURN GRASSFED, RAW CREAM Min. crude protein 3%, Min. crude fat 3.2%, Guaranteed Analysis: Min. crude fiber 5%. Min. moisture 89.5% Ingredients: Unpasteurized Cream For intermittent feed use only for dogs and cats. NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION Grazier's Harvest Dairy 4373 W 300 N | Delphi, IN 46923 1 Pint (437ML)

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

Like, bro

wahda ta3bana @daymanmankoosha still beyond me that Americans sometimes will act shocked that Middle Easterners can be Christians...bro it was Jesus of Nazareth not Jesus of New Jersey how is this news 7:26 am 25/12/20⚫ Twitter Web App •

wahda ta3bana @daymanmankoosha still beyond me that Americans sometimes will act shocked that Middle Easterners can be Christians...bro it was Jesus of Nazareth not Jesus of New Jersey how is this news 7:26 am 25/12/20⚫ Twitter Web App •

brand new sentence /r/brandnewsentence

Sigh...

Katie @ALadyNamed Katie Follow The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you • 9:29 PM Nov 17, 2024 105.6K Views

Katie @ALadyNamed Katie Follow The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you • 9:29 PM Nov 17, 2024 105.6K Views

/r/cursedcomments cursed comments cursed insane comments comment sections

flattering, but frightening.

Hey dude I love your art I eat good artists @novuuuuuuuuuuuu

Hey dude I love your art I eat good artists @novuuuuuuuuuuuu

What a guy

@ 1/2 of all caius ballad fa... @princessxemnas this dude on masterchef looks like dante and it's making me lose it LESLIE • 11:48 AM · Mar 3, 2021 Twitter Web App www

@ 1/2 of all caius ballad fa... @princessxemnas this dude on masterchef looks like dante and it's making me lose it LESLIE • 11:48 AM · Mar 3, 2021 Twitter Web App www

boss fight /r/bossfight boss battle bosses final boss

YOU said that

Mail Online Daily Mail Online >> @MailOnline Follow Simone Biles flaunts her Birkins, Range Rover and Texas mansion - but the $25million Olympic gymnast has given no hand outs to her penniless birth mom who works as a cashier to make ends meet trib.al/wKbaCL5 RANGE R Readers added context they thought people might want to know Her Mom abandoned her. Source: Literally You dailymail.co.uk/sport/olympics...

Mail Online Daily Mail Online >> @MailOnline Follow Simone Biles flaunts her Birkins, Range Rover and Texas mansion - but the $25million Olympic gymnast has given no hand outs to her penniless birth mom who works as a cashier to make ends meet trib.al/wKbaCL5 RANGE R Readers added context they thought people might want to know Her Mom abandoned her. Source: Literally You dailymail.co.uk/sport/olympics...

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks simone biles

Look inwards

Replying to @MoonPie Your time is wasted managing a social media account Bloon Pic MoonPie @MoonPie Buddy it's saturday night and you're talking to a marshmallow sandwich on the internet C

Replying to @MoonPie Your time is wasted managing a social media account Bloon Pic MoonPie @MoonPie Buddy it's saturday night and you're talking to a marshmallow sandwich on the internet C

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks

It's kind of insane when you think about it

REGIONS Regions Bank @askRegions Don't let the price tag of the wedding give you cold feet. There are multiple ways to finance your big day, like taking out a personal loan. >> goo.gl/95qQZM phoenix calida is bearly black @uppittynegress Hey millennials, can we kill the wedding industry next? Don't go into debt for 25 years for a f party and a dress

REGIONS Regions Bank @askRegions Don't let the price tag of the wedding give you cold feet. There are multiple ways to finance your big day, like taking out a personal loan. >> goo.gl/95qQZM phoenix calida is bearly black @uppittynegress Hey millennials, can we kill the wedding industry next? Don't go into debt for 25 years for a f party and a dress

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks weddings millennials

Funny...

k-von @never_oppressed - 15h Very funny thing to say for a person who's never worked a real job Anna Khachiyan → @annakhachiyan Love to hear it Follow Vivek Ramaswamy @VivekGRamaswamy. 1d Mandate 5-day work weeks *in person.* Watch 25% of federal bureaucrats quit instantly. 4:31 PM 11/9/24 43K Views THE TUCKER CARLSON SHOW

k-von @never_oppressed - 15h Very funny thing to say for a person who's never worked a real job Anna Khachiyan → @annakhachiyan Love to hear it Follow Vivek Ramaswamy @VivekGRamaswamy. 1d Mandate 5-day work weeks *in person.* Watch 25% of federal bureaucrats quit instantly. 4:31 PM 11/9/24 43K Views THE TUCKER CARLSON SHOW

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks

The nicest 3rd world country...

• Thought Provoking Berserker 17h Where's the lie So Norway just called the United States underdeveloped NTNU - Norwegian University of Science and Technology NINU 2 hrs In accordance with the recommendations from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (UD), NTNU strongly recommends that all NTNU students who are outside Norway return home. This applies especially if you are staying in a country with poorly developed health services and infrastructure and/or collective infrastructure, for example the USA. The same applies if you do not have health insurance. 596 174.9K 36.5K 864K До AkTechyBear @AkTechyBear Follow Replying to @Provokethoughtz and @sluggymcduggy A German friend once called the USA "the nicest 3rd world country he ever visited" and that stuck with me 8:41 AM 13 Nov 24 · 25.2K Views

• Thought Provoking Berserker 17h Where's the lie So Norway just called the United States underdeveloped NTNU - Norwegian University of Science and Technology NINU 2 hrs In accordance with the recommendations from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (UD), NTNU strongly recommends that all NTNU students who are outside Norway return home. This applies especially if you are staying in a country with poorly developed health services and infrastructure and/or collective infrastructure, for example the USA. The same applies if you do not have health insurance. 596 174.9K 36.5K 864K До AkTechyBear @AkTechyBear Follow Replying to @Provokethoughtz and @sluggymcduggy A German friend once called the USA "the nicest 3rd world country he ever visited" and that stuck with me 8:41 AM 13 Nov 24 · 25.2K Views

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks america

That was brutal

Jiji @dearest_lamb. 1d You've transformed surgically beyond recognition from the person God created, yet here you are claiming fat people have demons attached to them when maybe it's your own demons fueling these endless makeovers and turning you into a sad caricature desperately clawing for relevance. Lic@ESHAXJAVED 1d Why I hate fat people.

Jiji @dearest_lamb. 1d You've transformed surgically beyond recognition from the person God created, yet here you are claiming fat people have demons attached to them when maybe it's your own demons fueling these endless makeovers and turning you into a sad caricature desperately clawing for relevance. Lic@ESHAXJAVED 1d Why I hate fat people.

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks

He's just mad

giggly♡ @xgigglypuff · 1d A Captain's Log @Stardate325858 "Harvard is a joke these days" -guy who didn't get into Harvard Jon @jzulu1234.1d Replying to @xgigglypuff Harvard is like going to community college now a days. Can't take any of that work stuff seriously

giggly♡ @xgigglypuff · 1d A Captain's Log @Stardate325858 "Harvard is a joke these days" -guy who didn't get into Harvard Jon @jzulu1234.1d Replying to @xgigglypuff Harvard is like going to community college now a days. Can't take any of that work stuff seriously

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks harvard

Kids are getting smart

Ben Shapiro @benshapiro I asked my 4-year-old daughter this morning whether she thought it would be more fun to have a job or be a mommy. She said, "To be a mommy, so I can cuddle my babies." Clearly, she has already been victimized by the patriarchy. Michael Stahlke @MichaelStahlke I asked my six month old the same question and she said, "The false dichotomy in the premise of this question proves the ongoing need for feminism. You would never ask a boy to choose between procreation and professional fulfillment”

Ben Shapiro @benshapiro I asked my 4-year-old daughter this morning whether she thought it would be more fun to have a job or be a mommy. She said, "To be a mommy, so I can cuddle my babies." Clearly, she has already been victimized by the patriarchy. Michael Stahlke @MichaelStahlke I asked my six month old the same question and she said, "The false dichotomy in the premise of this question proves the ongoing need for feminism. You would never ask a boy to choose between procreation and professional fulfillment”

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks ben shapiro

Hot take... but...

2d Am I the only one that doesn't like to see a lady's pant liners? This wardrobe malfunction is a turn off for me. 1,522 289 1,135 Replying to What if turning you on isn't every woman's goal? L

2d Am I the only one that doesn't like to see a lady's pant liners? This wardrobe malfunction is a turn off for me. 1,522 289 1,135 Replying to What if turning you on isn't every woman's goal? L

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks facepalm

Now you know

sky Sky News news @SkyNews Follow Timothy West played the Tories' wartime hero Winston Churchill three times, yet he was a passionate life-long supporter of the Labour Party news.sky.com Readers added context they thought people might want to know This is called 'Acting' dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/eng... Do you find this helpful? Rate it

sky Sky News news @SkyNews Follow Timothy West played the Tories' wartime hero Winston Churchill three times, yet he was a passionate life-long supporter of the Labour Party news.sky.com Readers added context they thought people might want to know This is called 'Acting' dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/eng... Do you find this helpful? Rate it

murdered by words /r/murderedbywords clever comebacks