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Banana

Ingrid Oliver @ingridoliver100 Follow Just now walking down the street eating a banana, I spotted a woman at a bus stop, also eating a banana. To her horror & mine, I was physically unable to stop myself raising my banana to her in a sort of banana toast. She looked v confused then, adorably, bobbed her banana back.
Ingrid Oliver @ingridoliver100 Follow Just now walking down the street eating a banana, I spotted a woman at a bus stop, also eating a banana. To her horror & mine, I was physically unable to stop myself raising my banana to her in a sort of banana toast. She looked v confused then, adorably, bobbed her banana back.

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Do it

gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi My friend got a tattoo on his arm that says "comparison is the thief of joy" and I'm really debating getting the same tattoo on my arm but a little bit bigger
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi My friend got a tattoo on his arm that says "comparison is the thief of joy" and I'm really debating getting the same tattoo on my arm but a little bit bigger

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It would be so effective

evil slate @PleaseBeGneiss learning is so boring unless it's gossip. teachers should just start every lecture like "omg did you hear about parabolas" ***
evil slate @PleaseBeGneiss learning is so boring unless it's gossip. teachers should just start every lecture like "omg did you hear about parabolas" ***

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This is true

Trey @continentlbkfst kids who wouldn't let you borrow a pencil in class don't let you merge on the highway now
Trey @continentlbkfst kids who wouldn't let you borrow a pencil in class don't let you merge on the highway now

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How to win at life

> KH Khattak @khyzar_ktk Pro-tip: Never be sad on a holiday/ weekend. Cry on a workday. Get paid for your depression. Don't let capitalism win. 3:42 AM - 2/5/20 - Twitter for Android
> KH Khattak @khyzar_ktk Pro-tip: Never be sad on a holiday/ weekend. Cry on a workday. Get paid for your depression. Don't let capitalism win. 3:42 AM - 2/5/20 - Twitter for Android

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Cooking for kids is the real challenge

THE DAD The Dad @thedad We have cooking shows with kids. cooking but not with kids judging. I would love to watch a kid tell an iron chef that his duck confit is "yucky" and "smells like a barf bucket" then demand a hot dog
THE DAD The Dad @thedad We have cooking shows with kids. cooking but not with kids judging. I would love to watch a kid tell an iron chef that his duck confit is "yucky" and "smells like a barf bucket" then demand a hot dog

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Exactly

just became a homeowner at 19 gods plan EX830 keeping the price tags around the house to remember how hard you worked L
just became a homeowner at 19 gods plan EX830 keeping the price tags around the house to remember how hard you worked L

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That's on us

Melvin of York @MelvinofYork It's funny how we say "a bug hit my windshield" when we are the ones going 70mph. I'll bet the bug's family describes it differently
Melvin of York @MelvinofYork It's funny how we say "a bug hit my windshield" when we are the ones going 70mph. I'll bet the bug's family describes it differently

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It's the simple things

Ozzy @ozzyunc Every culture invents the sword, fried dough, & fermentation. There's a basic human need to stab someone & then have beer & donuts.
Ozzy @ozzyunc Every culture invents the sword, fried dough, & fermentation. There's a basic human need to stab someone & then have beer & donuts.

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Podcasts for all

King Charles is launching his own Apple Music radio show to showcase his favorite music. MEME ZAR Memeulous ✔ @Memeulous THE King's Music ROOM ON AIR 111 111 Music Whether you're a peasant or a king the urge to make a podcast burns like a thousand suns within all of us men
King Charles is launching his own Apple Music radio show to showcase his favorite music. MEME ZAR Memeulous ✔ @Memeulous THE King's Music ROOM ON AIR 111 111 Music Whether you're a peasant or a king the urge to make a podcast burns like a thousand suns within all of us men

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Good times...

jordan @jordan_stratton Being alive during this modern era is great. Robots are creating artistic soulless versions of people, I spend half my paycheck on rent and the other half on 4 blueberries, and I'm addicted to a little pocket computer that makes me sad everyday. Fantastic.
jordan @jordan_stratton Being alive during this modern era is great. Robots are creating artistic soulless versions of people, I spend half my paycheck on rent and the other half on 4 blueberries, and I'm addicted to a little pocket computer that makes me sad everyday. Fantastic.

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Yup

g 80 @illygrene What "old person" thing do you do? Loky ❤ @lokymann Run errands early as s before the idiots wake up
g 80 @illygrene What "old person" thing do you do? Loky ❤ @lokymann Run errands early as s before the idiots wake up

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They have no clue

Pulsar @pulsarbird.bsky.social I don't think anyone knows what "without further ado" means anymore. Every YouTube video is like, "so without further ado, let's get into it! But first, today's sponsor is..." My dude. That is literally further ado. March 12, 2025 at 11:26 PM Everybody can reply
Pulsar @pulsarbird.bsky.social I don't think anyone knows what "without further ado" means anymore. Every YouTube video is like, "so without further ado, let's get into it! But first, today's sponsor is..." My dude. That is literally further ado. March 12, 2025 at 11:26 PM Everybody can reply

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Too real

J @JamzLnd Follow Saddest thing about barely anyone wanting kids is some of the best people I know aren't having them whilst some superdemons are having 7.
J @JamzLnd Follow Saddest thing about barely anyone wanting kids is some of the best people I know aren't having them whilst some superdemons are having 7.

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Thanks, though

nova @comfypill Follow "you're so quiet" thanks! i actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me • 6:44 PM 3/6/25 1.2M Views 156 20K 118K 3.7K
nova @comfypill Follow "you're so quiet" thanks! i actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me • 6:44 PM 3/6/25 1.2M Views 156 20K 118K 3.7K

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A gap is a gap

Sarah Blahovec @Sblahov It annoys me that job applicants are supposed to "explain gaps on their resume." Whether the gap was from raising a child, having a serious illness, or traveling the world, I feel like employers shouldn't have the right to determine if it's a "good enough reason."
Sarah Blahovec @Sblahov It annoys me that job applicants are supposed to "explain gaps on their resume." Whether the gap was from raising a child, having a serious illness, or traveling the world, I feel like employers shouldn't have the right to determine if it's a "good enough reason."

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